"Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, where ever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander." - Hillsong United

Amber

"How positive are you?" Shay asked as he paced in front of me. He kept running his hands through his hair nervously.

"Dr. Ashlar called," I told him, pressing my hands between my legs. I knew that he was worrying about Mom and Dad. I was starting to feel woozy just from imagining Dad's reaction. "He did say he wanted to bring me in for a physical examination, whatever that means. Just to confirm things I guess."

He sighed and sat down on the sofa in front of me and then stood up again to start pacing. Shay was a lot like Dad where in the time of crisis he just couldn't stop moving, as if he had to think on his feet. Literally. "Do you think he could be wrong?" he asked slowly.

"He said there are false positives sometimes but Shay…I've been having symptoms," I confessed.

"What kind of symptoms?"

As I waited the four agonizing hours for my twin brother to show up, I managed to get a lot of thinking done. I'd been having some minor cramping for the last few days but I just passed it off as period cramps. And then there was the fatigue. I started questioning whether or not I was really depressed for those two weeks or just pregnant. "Fatigue, cramps," I listed off. "A little spotting."

He held up a hand to stop me. "Ungh, I'm still your brother. I don't need to hear about…that," he emphasized, clearly disgusted by the mere thought of menstrual cycles. Or lack thereof. "But how far along could you really be?"

"I don't know. I could be seven weeks or I could be four. I guess it's something that Dr. Ashlar would confirm. But if I'm seven weeks, wouldn't I be spending my whole day with my head in the toilet throwing up?"

"How am I supposed to know? It's not like I've ever been pregnant before! Dad only taught me how to have sex; not what happens afterward."

"Typical," I snorted.

Shay was quiet for a few moments as he appraised me. "You know we're going to have to tell them, right? Sooner, rather than later. I mean, Dr. Ashlar keeps secrets and can work miracles but even he can't hide you being pregnant." He paused. "Unless…you're not going to get an abortion are you?"

I blanched at the thought initially but I couldn't deny how much easier it would be if I could just make all of this go away. "I don't know. That's why I called you. I just need someone to tell me what to do."

He sat down next to me again and put his arm around my shoulders. "Well, like I said, I've never been pregnant so I can't exactly help you. But whatever happens, I'm with you. No matter what."

I smiled at him, starting to get teary eyed. As awful as the situation may have been, I was thankful to finally have my brother back. "Thanks Shay."

"Let's not fight anymore, okay?"

"Okay," I laughed, nodding at him. "We need to tell Mom and Dad," I finally realized.

Shay nodded slowly. "They'll freak out, yeah, but the truth is that no one can help you more than them. They've been through it several times and I know for a fact that not all of them were planned. Heck, I think us and Annie were the only planned ones but that's beside the point. Once Dad's head stops exploding, I'm sure he'll have some sound advice." He nudged me lightly, sensing my mounting anxiety. "And Amber, remember, you did nothing wrong. This baby wasn't conceived out of wedlock; you were married."

"Right," I agreed. But I still couldn't shake the feeling that this was a mistake. Maybe it was because I was so young. Maybe it was because this would effectively ruin my opportunity to become queen. Or maybe it was knowing that I kissed another man who was not the father of this baby. "What do we do now?" I asked hopelessly.

"Go home, unfortunately." He sighed and studied me, throwing an arm around my shoulders. "Remember, I'll be with you."

"You promise?" I sniffled and he passed me a tissue box sitting in front of me.

"Promise."

Shay finished packing some of Derrick's clothes as I cleaned myself up in the bathroom. I put on a dress and blazer to make myself look as presentable as possible to Mom and Dad. Maybe they'd go easier on me if I looked nice. I took some time to study my reflection. In my eighteen years of life I had accumulated a lot of titles. Daughter, sister, best friend, Princess, Royal Highness, Crown Princess, future queen, girlfriend, wife, widow…They all seemed to fit but mother? It seemed like a foreign concept to me. Actually being responsible and caring for another human being. Being their sole provider. I supposed it wasn't that different from being queen aside from being way more hands-on.

Shalom finally came and knocked on my door, watching me slide some bracelets on. "You comfortable?" he asked, obviously keeping in mind the long plane ride ahead of us.

"No, but I'm princess. If part of the job was being comfortable, the press wouldn't be as interested in my style as they are," I informed him.

We had some guards help us load the boxes that had been filled into a separate vehicle that would get it all home one way or another. Over the years I had stopped questioning how everything happened behind the scenes and started to just appreciate it when things happened magically.

When we arrived at the airport and saw the slew of photographers waiting at the fence to catch a picture of me getting on the plane, Shalom motioned for me to stay in the car. "I'll get Officer Jackson to send them away," he explained.

"No, it's okay," I declined, arranging my hat on my hair carefully.

"Really? It'd be your first public appearance since…"

I nodded. "I know. No time like the present, right?" He smiled and slid out of the car, offering me his hand like he always did when we travelled together. Once both of my feet were on solid ground we stopped to smile and wave to the photographers and then move over to the plane. "Shay?" I asked just before I stepped inside.

"Did you forget something?" He stopped just a few steps below me, preparing to turn around and get whatever I needed.

"Nope. I just wanted to thank you again."

He smiled sadly at me. "I'm your brother Amber. What else would I be doing?"

America

"Your Majesties, Princess Amber and Prince Shalom would like to speak with you," Officer Avery informed us. Maxon and I both looked up from our work and looked at each other questioningly.

Then Maxon asked, "Both of them?"

Officer Avery nodded. "Yes, Sir."

"Then let them in, by all means," I told him, shrugging at Maxon. Avery left the room, leaving Maxon and I by ourselves for a few moments. "Did you know they're getting along?"

Maxon held up a hand to stop me. "We don't know that they are," he reminded me in a cautious voice. "But I was wondering…" His voice trailed off as he got lost in his thoughts.

"Wondering what?" I pressed.

"Shalom just texted me to tell me that he was flying to Whites on urgent business. I figured it had to do with one of his foundations but maybe Amber needed to talk to him. After all, why would he fly there and then both of them come here in the same day?"

Something about this started to unsettle me. I couldn't imagine the circumstances that would lead Shalom and Amber to reconciliation so suddenly and then also bring them here where they apparently needed to talk to us. Amber wasn't supposed to come home so soon either. Was she staying or was this just something she had to settle with Shalom and then go back to Whites? "You don't think she's letting him be king, do you?" I asked, that being the only thing I could think of.

Maxon's eyes widened as he followed my train of thought. Then the doors opened and our eldest children were walking through. Immediately I knew that what I had just predicted was wrong. Shalom looked unnerved while Amber looked like she was about to throw up on the rug as they stopped in the middle of our study. She was dressed nice but there was something about the crisp look of her outfit. Like it was just a pretense or a cover-up. Something was actually really wrong between them.

"Hey Mom. Hey Dad," Shalom greeted. It had been a few weeks since we had last seen him. Maxon and I both walked to the sofas and sat down across from them. Shalom sat up straight but Amber seemed to be trying her best to disappear into the cushions.

Maxon and I reached for each other's hands at the same time, squeezing our fingers together tightly. "I have to be honest, I'm a little scared for why you both are here," Maxon said.

Shay nodded slowly. "You must be wondering why we're suddenly getting along. We just...well, Amber has…" He stopped stammering and looked at Amber who turned even paler than she already was. "First, we just want to ask you both to hear Amber out. Please don't freak out."

"And here I thought I couldn't be even more scared for what we're about to hear," I said quietly, exchanging a quick glance with Maxon. His brown eyes were filled with the same amount of worry as me.

We all looked at Amber expectantly. Shay nudged her with his knee and she sighed, sitting up straighter. "Last night, when I was packing up our things, Dr. Ashlar called."

"Yeah, he was looking for you," I cut in.

"Mom," Shay said in a short voice, making me be quiet.

I nodded for Amber to continue. "When he took my blood last week he found something." She paused and looked at Shalom. He put an arm around her shoulders as we all held our breath, waiting for her to finish. "He found hCG."

"Wait…as in…" Maxon began, looking at me for help.

"Human chorionic gonadotropin?" I finished, wracking my brain for a name I hadn't heard in almost ten years. Not since I was pregnant with Annie. "Amber…"

"It's Derrick's," Shalom said quickly, as if that would alleviate the tension that had just filled the room.

Maxon took a deep breath as he stood and started pacing behind me, running a hand through his hair. "Why don't you two give us some time to talk?" I suggested to the twins. They both wordlessly left the room, Amber casting a nervous glance over her shoulder.

I walked over to my desk and took a seat, burying my face in my hands. I knew that with every minute Maxon and I were in here Amber would feel worse about this. But this was a discussion that had to be between Maxon and I exclusively. We couldn't even talk to Aspen or Carter or James; we could not risk this getting out through a third party.

"I mean, no matter what we do, she's going to be a mom at nineteen," Maxon finally said quietly from the other side of the room. He was leaning against his desk, facing me. "I would never dare to suggest she gets an abortion. Can you imagine if the press got word of that? Forget a pregnancy out of wedlock; an abortion would make everyone come here with torches and pitchforks."

I shook my head. "She was technically married but nobody knows it," I reminded him.

"Married and widowed," Maxon added. "I mean, how are we supposed to explain this to everyone?"

"Would you stop thinking about the press and start thinking about our daughter?" I exclaimed, looking up at him. He swallowed and looked away from me. "She stays here. She stays here and she'll have the baby here, just like I did with all of our children. We'll treat it like she has a husband and she's an adult."

Maxon shook his head. "This is going to be so hard on her."

"So we have to be there for her. Maxon, no matter what, we have to be supportive. She's carrying her dead husband's child, this is the last thing she has of his."

Quickly, looking deep in though, Maxon said, "We could have a Selection for her."

I sat there, staring at him dumbfounded. He probably thought that I was putting real consideration into his suggestion but I couldn't even form a thought. "What the hell is wrong with you? First you're concerned about the press, now you've moved on to her getting married. She's been married, this is her husband's child, what's the big deal?"

"That's what I'm wondering! What's so wrong with this?" he exclaimed, coming towards me.

I just stood up from my desk and walked past him, out into the hallway. That conversation was going nowhere and I really just needed to support my daughter. She was standing out in the hallway with her arms crossed, Shalom leaning against the wall across from her. "Shalom, please go check on your siblings to make sure they're not destroying the palace," I said, my voice not leaving any room for argument.

Once he disappeared around the corner at the end of the hall, I turned to Amber who was slouched over against the wall. "Mom…" she choked out, looking at me with teary eyes. I stepped forward and embraced her, letting her cry into my shoulder. "I'm scared," she sobbed.

"I know."

"I don't want to do this alone."

I patted her red hair. "You're not alone." She pulled back, not understanding what I meant. "You have me, first of all. I am not leaving you alone to deal with this yourself. And you have Aunt Kenna, Aunt May, Marlee, Lucy, you're brothers and sisters…"

She blinked a few times. "Dad?"

I smiled sadly. "You know your father. He just wants the best for his little princess. Frankly, I think he's more upset at the prospect of being a grandfather at the age of forty." Amber laughed out loud and I reached up to wipe a few tears away. "And he just wants you to be happy. You've had a rough few weeks and it kills him to see you upset."

"I heard you two talking," she admitted. I nodded, well aware that she was out here the whole time. "I don't want to ruin your marriage."

I laughed out loud at that. "Oh, honey, if you knew the things that have gone on between your father and I over the years, you would not be scared of that at all."

"Really?"

"Really." I put an arm around her shoulders and started guiding her down the hall to her room. "Now, in all of this commotion, we haven't had time to really talk about how you're feeling. Not emotionally, but physically."

"Oh." She shrugged, pretending to not be taken aback. "Oh, I'm okay. Just a little sick. And tired. And I obviously can't stop crying." A few tears escaped her eyes. "There I go again," she laughed, wiping them away.

"Well, lucky for you, you have a mother who has been through this several times. I suggest Saltines for the time being, they really help with the morning sickness. I've only had bad morning sickness with Winn so my knowledge there is a bit more limited. Take lots of afternoon naps. You're lucky in that you don't have to run a country while pregnant. And as for the crying, get used to it," I advised, steering her into her room. "Have you seen Dr. Ashlar yet?"

She shook her head. "No. I wanted to tell you and Dad first."

I nodded. "You need to see him as soon as possible to find out how far along you are exactly and if the baby is healthy." She nodded. "Do you have any idea how far along you are?"

"Mom!" she squealed.

I put my hands on my hips. "Amber Celeste, I am your confidante in this. There will be more awkward conversations to come so get used to this now. Don't forget that Dr. Ashlar has to look up your lady parts on a regular basis."

She smacked her hands over her ears. "Ew, okay, Mom, stop!"

"I'm just being honest."

Someone knocked on her door and seconds later Maxon poked his head in. "Mind if I join you?" he asked, looking sheepish. After all, I had just yelled at him.

Amber somehow looked more afraid than him as she squeaked out, "Daddy…"

He smiled and then walked to her and hugged her. "I love you, little girl. You're going to be a wonderful mom."

"But Dad, you're right. How are we going to explain this to the press? They'll never want me to be queen now," she moaned. "How did this all get so screwed up so fast?"

"Hey," Maxon said, sitting down next to her so that he was between us. "You could do worse. You could get on national television and demand the removal of the entire caste system."

She raised her eyebrows at him. "Did you do that?"

He laughed out loud. "Lord, no. That was all on your mother. And see, even after that, she has become a queen whom the people absolutely adore. Believe it or not, having heirs can really help one's image."

"They're just going to assume that we're falsifying the marriage to make it look like the baby is legitimate," Amber argued.

"Don't you know by now that the press don't know shit, AC?" Shalom asked from the door, completing the little family reunion in Amber's bedroom. I loved spending time with all five of our children but sometimes it was nice to just spend time with Shalom and Amber. It reminded me of that first year after they were born where it was just the four of us. "Remember how they spent those two years speculating that I was gay?"

Amber smiled slightly. "When really, come to find out you were in a relationship with Shel the whole time." His face fell and Amber quickly backtracked. "Sorry. Hormones."

"Goodie. Does this mean that you have an excuse for the next eight months to be a bitch?"

"Not a bitch," I said, putting a hand on her leg. "Just hormonal." Maxon winked at me as I'm sure he was thinking of all the times during my pregnancies that I had been not so nice to him. There were many times he had considered sleeping in another room simply to avoid my temper.

Maxon sighed and checked his watch. "Well, why don't you take a nap and Shalom will come get you for dinner?"

Amber looked to me. "Dr. Ashlar wanted to see me."

"He'll still be here tomorrow. If it's anything urgent, he knows where to find you," I assured her. "You should listen to your father though. Some sleep will do you some good."

She nodded. "Thanks Mom."

"No problem sweetie," I said, kissing her forehead. I walked to the door with Maxon, looking back at Shalom.

"I'm gonna hang out in here for a bit," he explained, lingering next to Amber.

I smiled at them both and met Maxon outside. We walked over to my room to change for dinner but instead I collapsed backward on my bed. "We're going to be grandparents," I whispered.

The bed dipped beside me and I felt Maxon drag his hand lazily over my forearm. "This isn't going to be easy, is it?"

"Nope."

"She is lucky to have parents so knowledgeable in the subject." He laid on his side to look at me, propping his head up on his hand. "I'm sorry about earlier."

I rolled over to face him. "You should know by now to not apologize to me. Besides, it's just how you dealt with the news. After twenty years, I'm pretty used to you being unreasonable."

"She'll be a good mom," Maxon said.

"She will be a good mom. But she'll still need our help. I mean, we're good parents but we still needed help those first few months."

He smiled crookedly at me. "I don't think you're supposed to say that you're good parents."

"But…Kenna and Marlee said so."

"I love you because you're so humble." He leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose, his lips lingering close to my face. "You know, we have some free time before dinner."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Free time? I don't know what that is. It's a completely foreign concept to me."

"C'mere you," Maxon grumbled, pulling me close. "This is going to be hard but we'll do this just like we've done everything else in life. Together."

"We make a good us."

Maxon smiled and kissed my nose, then both cheeks, then finally my lips. "We make a great us."

Two chapters in one update! woo-hoo! FYI - because of time constraints this week and next week, i will not be answering reviews in updates. it's just too time consuming and next week is finals so i'm super busy. if you feel so inclined just find me over on tumblr at gingertags/tumblr/com. hope y'all understand! Love you all and thank you so much for your support!