Okay! Finally have been able to get some typing in, been trying really hard to get inspiration in between working on cosplays for cons and working graveyard shifts and I hope you all like this latest chapter! As I said before, it will follow the manga (for the most part) up until the Sasuke retrieval and Shippuden at that point things are gonna get very different yet I will try and keep to the main storyline. Anyways here's chapter 5 of Bad Romance.
"My name is Morino Ibiki and for the first part of this exam I am your god understand?"
A few of the genin gulped loudly at the fearsome aura the scarred man was projecting.
"Alright time to get started, turn in your applications and take one of these seating assignment cards and report directly to the seat indicated. When everyone's seated we'll pass out the written part of the test."
Naruko made a small sound and everyone looked at her. She took a deep breath and it seemed like she was calming herself...until she screamed out loud.
"A PAPER TEST? WHAT THE FUCK?"
Naruko after sitting down at her assigned seat groaned and slammed her head down onto the table cursing her luck.
"Of course it had to be a fucking paper test, couldn't be an arm-wrestling match nooo! It had to be a damn paper test!" Sakura couldn't help but feel bad for her blond teammate she knew how much the mini-Tsunade hated tests that involved paper.
'Poor Naruko, this must be her worst nightmare...she looks crushed.'
Sasuke also was watching his teammate and was worried about her.
'Hang in there she-hulk, we'll get through this.'
"Naruko..." Naruko lifted her head and looked at where the voice was coming from...or she would have if her test paper wasn't stuck to her forehead. She angrily grabbed the paper and slammed it down, calming down when she saw Hinata smiling at her, though strangely Hinata was blushing.
"Oh hey Hinata-chan."
'Why is she blushing so much? Is she sick? I hope I don't catch whatever she's got.'
"L-let's do our best Naruko!" Naruko smiled her normal foxy grin and winked at Hinata which made the pale eye girl blush even more.
"You bet Hinata-chan."
"Alright papers face down until I give the signal. Now listen up!" Everyone's attention was on the proctor who was tapping a piece of chalk against the blackboard.
"There are a few big rules that apply to this first test, I'll write them on the blackboard and explain them all. I'm not taking any questions, got a problem with that? Too damn bad, I'm only saying this once so shut up and listen."
'Rules? And why no questions?' Sakura's mind went to work trying to figure things out.
"Rule number one! Each of you little shits will start out with ten points, the test has ten questions each worth one point. Have I lost anyone yet? No? Good, for each question you get wrong, we subtract a point from you. Get all ten right, and you keep your ten points. But for example you answer three question incorrect we subtract one point for every wrong answer bringing your total down to seven. Sound simple? Good because it's about to get a bit tricky."
'Great so if I get all ten question wrong, I end up with no damn points!' Naruko slammed her head onto the desk again.
"Rule number 2, this written test is still a team event. Passing or failing will be determined the sum of the points held by all three members of each cell. The object is for each to have as few deductions as possible from its joint thirty point total." At hearing this Sakura slammed her head down onto the desk as well as Naruko.
"Wait a second! The whole concept of the starting points and the deductions is hard enough to follow, but what is this whole team total you're talking about?"
"Apparently someone was not paying attention when I said no questions, we have our reasons for this, now shut up and listen and you just might learn something. Lastly is rule number 3. If, during the course of the exam, a candidate does anything suspicious...in other words anything that leads a proctor to determine that he or she has cheated, we subtract two points from each member of the cheater's team."
Sakura's surprised face was just what Ibiki was looking for.
"So you see, some of you will probably run through your entire allowance of points during the test. If that happens then you'll fail and be asked to leave."
A random chunin proctor spoke up hoping to scare the test takers even more.
"We'll be looking over your shoulder when you least expect it..."
"Well said Kotetsu, if you let the proctors catch you cheating, you bring not only yourself but your teammates down! If you really wanna be chunin, if you really want to be the best shinobi you can be...then start acting like it."
Sakura was worried, not about her or Sasuke but about Naruko.
'Calm down Sakura, it's too bad about Naruko but Sasuke and I should be able to keep enough points for all three of us to pass, even if Naruko doesn't get a single answer right.'
"Oh and one more thing, anyone who loses their ten points, that person's team regardless of how the other two members do will be disqualified!"
Both Sakura and Sasuke went wide-eyed and Naruko again slammed her head on the desk, before lifting it up to look at Hinata, the test paper stuck to her forehead once again.
"Hinata-chan...have you ever got the feeling like someone wants to kill you?" Naruko couldn't see if Hinata had shook her head yes or no but she continued her speech anyway.
"Huh must be me I guess."
"You have one hour...starting....NOW!"
Sakura while looking calm on the surface was slowly starting to hyperventilate.
'Please say it isn't so, this is no win situation! Please Naruko for the sake of your team, for the sake of all that is holy....HANG ON TO AT LEAST ONE OF YOUR DAMN POINTS!'
Sasuke looked at his test questions and smirked after reading them.
'Well I can say without a doubt that I can't answer a single question, and what's the deal with number ten?'
Naruko was beginning to freak out, she was trying her hardest not to but so much was riding on this test and she wasn't anywhere near Sakura or Sasuke.
Sasuke was watching his blonde teammate and knew she was panicking.
'It's almost as if...they want us to cheat. THAT'S IT! They're testing our information gathering skills! Hurry up and figure it out Naruko!'
Naruko looked at the clock and saw she was almost out of time, she was about to think of a way to cheat until a kunai flew by her head and landed on the paper of the guy behind her.
"What was that for?"
"Five strikes and you're out! Take your teammates and get out, now."
'Okay, too fucking close! No way can I risk cheating...ohmanohmanohmanohman...' Naruko didn't even realize her leg was bobbing up and down in a nervous pattern. Suddenly the room began to shake, followed by the whole building. One of the light fixtures came down and Ibiki yelled out.
"Earthquake! Everyone get down!" Everyone went down and only Naruko was still up and this did not go unnoticed by the blonde girl who with a grin switched her paper with a guy two down from her, his almost complete paper now in her possession. Everyone got back up and Naruko quickly made herself look like she still freaking out. The guy whose paper she switched with quickly looked around disqualifying himself and his teammates.
'Yes yes fuck yes! Score one for Naruko the head bitch in charge! Whose the most awesome kunoichi in the world? You better bet your ass it's me! Now I just gotta wait for the last question! Who knew my freakish strength would come in handy for once?'
"Number 102 you fail, on your feet." A proctor called out.
"Number 23, you too. You're out!" Proctors began calling out team after team until finally it was time for the final question.
"Okay then, seems you all were still about to manage doing the test besides that little earthquake aftershock we had. Now I have one more rule for this question, this rule is absolute."
Meanwhile in the Jinsei Iroiro, a lounge for Konoha's jonin ninja four jonin sat there relaxing.
"Well with our students in the exams it seems we finally have some time to ourselves." Asuma blew out a plume of smoke and smiled at Kakashi.
"Yeah but we'll be busy again before you know it."
"Why's that?" Kakashi was curious.
"Word is, this year's first chief proctor is Morino Ibiki."
"The sadist? Why him?" Kakashi was now worried for his team.
"Sadist?" Kurenai was curious as to why the man was called that.
"Kurenai you're still a newbie to the jonin elite so you probably don't know him."
"A most unyouthful man if there ever was one, but I guess his job would make him so." Gai looked up at the ceiling, also worrying about his team.
"His job? What do you mean? What's he like?"
"The man's a pro, the best there is."
"At what Asuma?"
"Torture and Interrogation. He's Morino Ibiki, ANBU black ops torture and interrogation corps unit leader, and while they may not be tortured physically you can have no doubt that he's subjecting them to psychological pressures the likes the you wouldn't believe. The man loves playing mind games with people and is a master of psychology."
'An absolute rule? What bullshit is that?'
"First you must choose whether or not to accept or reject the tenth question!"
"Well what if someone chooses to reject the question?" Temari screamed, she had just copied all the answers down and was ready to get this stupid test over with.
"If you choose not to take the question and don't even try to answer it...then you lose all your points immediately and both you and your teammates fail."
"Why would anyone choose not to take it then?"
"Simple, because of the other rule...if you try to answer the question and get it wrong then you will never be permitted to apply for the chunin exams ever again."
Kiba jumped up and started shouting along with Akumaru who was barking violently.
"You can't be serious? There are ninja here who've done this exam more than once!"
"Too bad...so sad. I wasn't making the rules in the past, but guess what kid? I am now. So your choice, take a failing grade now, and try again later." Ibiki waited a moment before continuing.
"Those who choose not to take the last question raise your hands and be counted for. Once your number is confirmed they will leave the room." Everyone watched as team after team rejected the question and were escorted out. Sakura was watching and wondering why Naruko wasn't raising her hand.
'Naruko you idiot, all Sasuke and I will lose is time! You don't want to lose your chance to go up in rank forever! Reject the question!' She noticed Naruko began raising her hand which made both her and Sasuke's eyes go wide. Their fears were dashed when Naruko slammed her palm onto the table...breaking it in half.
"I SAID IT BEFORE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN! BRING IT ON! I'M UZUMAKI NARUKO AND I ACCEPT YOUR DAMN QUESTION! NOW CAN YOU HURRY IT UP? SOME OF US GOT PROMOTIONS TO WORK FOR!"
"Hmmph, I'll ask one more time, this is a decision that could affect the rest of your life. Quit now, while you still have the chance."
"And I'll say it one more time handsome, bring. it. on." Ibiki was impressed, the girl's outburst had dispelled everyone's fear, meaning there was no point in dragging this out.
"Those of you who is still here...you've just passed the exam!"
"....WHAT THE HELL? THEN WHAT WAS ALL THAT BULLSHIT EARLIER? WAS ALL WE DID JUST FOR FUCKING NOTHING?" Naruko was standing over the broken remains of the table, breathing in and out deeply. Ibiki had to let out a laugh at the girl's temper, a miniature Tsunade indeed.
"If you'll calm down Miss Mini Tsunade, I'll explain. There will come a time in your career as ninja when you are forced to make a decision, do you take the easy way out and let your comrades suffer? Or do you take the mission, despite not knowing what the enemy has prepared? The willingness to do the job despite the uncertainty is what we look for in chunin cell leaders. The other questions were to test your ability to spy, those that were caught were obviously not up to par and we can't have that."
Ibiki took off his headband and showed his scarred head, slash marks, puncture wounds, and burn marks covered his head.
"This is what happens to those ninja who can't be successful spies, if your skills aren't up to snuff you can be captured and tortured. I'm just glad you all passed and have shown me you got potential." He put back on his headband just as a big black ball crashed through the classroom window.
'Already? Oh spare me.'
The ball unraveled to reveal what could best be described as a scantily clad woman wearing a tan trenchcoat and miniskirt with a mesh bodysuit and ANBU leg armor.
"None of you little shits are in any position to celebrate! I'm Mitarashi Anko the second chief proctor! Time's a-wasting people let's go!" Everyone in the room just stared at her with a look of disbelief and curiosity. Naruko was sizing her up.
'I...kinda like her attitude. Plus the mesh bodysuit looks nice too, wonder where I can get one? Might be able to make Sasuke nosebleed hard off of that! HAHAHA that would be great!'
"Anko...can you not sense the mood in here?" Anko looked slightly embarrassed and Sakura had an annoyed look on her face.
"This new proctor reminds me of Naruko..."
"Ibiki, you passed twenty-six teams? You went too easy on them!" Ibiki smiled at his second-in-command.
"This year the batch is of exceptional caliber."
"Yeah and pigs and fucking monkeys can fly, I'll cut down this number by half when I'm done! As soon as we move to the next location I'll explain things in detail. Ooh! I'm getting charged up just thinking about it!"
Naruko smiled, yeah she definitely liked this woman. Ibiki stayed behind and picked up the sheets noticing the one Naruko had had entirely different handwriting and the name was sloppily erased and replaced with hers.
"So you're the cause of our little localized earthquake huh? Uzumaki Naruko, very intriguing young woman."
All of the genin teams now stood in front of a large foreboding forest while Anko looked on at them, enjoying their frightened looks.
"Welcome boys and girls to the area for part two of the exam. Training ground 44, also known as...The Forest of Death!"
"Seems pretty creepy." Sakura said but Naruko just placed her hands behind her head.
"I don't know, seems like a fun place to me." Anko had to smile at that, she liked this girl's attitude but she had to make sure it didn't spread to the other applicants.
Time to bust an ego.
With lightning fast speed she pulled out a kunai and threw it at Naruko cutting her cheek and appeared behind her.
"Yeah it is a fun place, but with your attitude you'll be one of the first to go, spilling all that rich, red, lovely, luscious blood..." Anko slowly licked Naruko's cheek and the blonde couldn't help that her whiskers were sensitive.
"Um, was that supposed to turn me on? Cause it kind of did..." Anko would've face vaulted if not for her holding onto Naruko, all around her males were holding their noses trying to prevent nosebleeds, even Sasuke checked his nose to make sure it wasn't bleeding. Anko's plan to scare the genin ended up in disaster thanks to the blond in her arms, she noticed the cut on the girls cheek had already healed up.
'So this is the kyuubi girl? Huh, if it wasn't for the exams I'd probably enjoy hanging out with her, but what can you do?'
"Well seems like we got a fun group this year, now before we begin I have these consent forms for you to fill out!"
Everyone stared at Anko with a questioning look which she returned with a happy smile.
"Just in case you die of course! We want to make sure all the bases are covered so we can't be liable, you wouldn't want little old me to get in trouble would you? Here blondie, since you and I apparently get along so well you can pass these out."
"Only if I can get a mesh suit like yours." Anko grinned, she had no idea why people gave this girl so much shit when she obviously had great fashion sense.
"Sure girlie, after the exams are all over come and see me and we'll see what I can do." Naruko began passing out the forms while Anko explained the rules of her 'fight to the death version of capture the scrolls.'
"Alright you'll have 120 hours in which to complete this exam, exactly five days, no more, no less!"
Choji at hearing this was livid.
"FIVE DAYS? What are we supposed to do for food?"
"That's your problem, the forest is full of nature's bounty...along with an assortment of man-eating animals, deadly insects, and poisonous plants. As time shortens things will get a lot tougher for each of you as you'll have less recovery time. At all times you'll be surrounded by enemies and not only can your die but there's exhaustion, exposure, starvation, dehydration, and a number of other lovely things you can succumb to! Okay now for the rules, and how you can be disqualified! Obviously, teams that fail to reach the tower in time as a three member cell carrying both a heaven and earth scroll are out. Any team that loses a member due to death or severe injury is also out. Under no circumstances, can you leave the forest before time is up, meaning no recess or time outs kiddies. And last but not least, you're forbidden to look at the contents of the scrolls until you're inside the tower! Understand? Good, now everyone can choose a gate to start from, everyone is gonna start at the same time."
"Do you have any advice to give us?" Sakura asked, hoping to get some cryptic clue.
"Hmm...oh yeah! Don't die!" Sakura frowned at the obvious advice.
"Good luck imouto!" Tenten yelled at Naruko.
"You too oneechan!" Naruko rushed over to her teammates and was pumping herself up for this, she was gonna go all out.
Meanwhile Shikamaru's team was getting ready, Choji was grumbling about no food for 5 days while Ino looked at Shikamaru for a battle plan.
"Okay lazy-butt what's the plan?"
"Troublesome, simple we target another team and stay away from Naruko."
"Why? You like her or something?" Shikamaru sighed and mumbled about blondes always causing trouble in his life.
"No, you wanna go toe to toe in close combat with Naruko again?" Ino's face went ghostly pale.
"Didn't think so, we'll try and go after another team."
Gaara and his siblings were waiting at gate 6 for the exam to start. Kankuro was upset he'd be stuck with Gaara for that long in the forest while his sister was worried for all three of them. Gaara on the other hand, had his mind on a certain blond.
'Uzumaki Naruko, if I can you will be my first challenge, I cannot wait to crush you with my sand. Though I wonder...why do I feel as if I know her? I have never once met her until that time before the exams yet I feel as though I have always known her...hmm.'
Anko's voice came up over the intercom alerting all teams.
"Part two of the chunin exams begins...now!" All 44 gates opened at once and each team rushed in.
"Woohoo, bubblegum, asshole! Let's go kick some ass!" And so team seven rushed in, unaware that someone had a hidden agenda for their little team.