America POV
I loved being queen. For something that I had suppressed for so long and had been so convinced that I didn't want, it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. It gave me the power to effect change at my will and to do good things. It gave my life purpose; more purpose than just singing or playing violin on the fringes of parties.
There was just one drawback though. It meant that I was perpetually on the clock for my job. As if being parents to five wasn't enough, Maxon and I also had to deal with constant interruptions and crises involved with running a country. It was worse when the kids were young and we would be woken up once almost every night but either a child or a matter of state. Sometimes we both would be drug out of bed, only to return several hours later to sleep for maybe an hour before we would have to get up and actually start the day.
Being on call at all times meant that when tragedy struck, there was very little time for grief. Maxon had to fight for me to have four days at home when I was simply a member of the Selected, and the least favorite member of the Selected at that. As queen, I was given no more than a day in bed when my mother died.
Her rapid decline in health was rapid and it seemed like only a few days went by between the day we found out she had ALS to the day she was gasping for her last breath. The sound of her gagging was stuck in my head. Sometimes it seemed to be so loud that I had to pull a pillow over my head to drown it out.
And Maxon, bless his heart, stayed by my side through it all, issuing any threat necessary for advisers to leave him alone. "Hush, dearest, it'll pass. This will all pass soon enough," he would whisper in my ear, as another wave of grief would threaten to drown me. Part of me wished for my siblings but we all had our own spouses to comfort us and some other part of me knew that I was getting more solace from Maxon than I would from Kenna or May.
Amber and Shay stopped in for a little while but Shay was picking up Maxon's slack and Amber was sticking as close to Kile as possible. She wasn't supposed to be moving around a lot either; she was in her third trimester and her blood pressure was still a little too high.
The next day I emerged from our bedroom groggy and numb. My eyes were puffy and sore from crying most of the day before. I felt Maxon watching me from the other side of our shared study, probably waiting for another breakdown. Midway through the morning, a guard came rushing into our office. "Your Majesties, Princess Amber has gone into labor," he reported breathlessly.
Maxon and I looked at each in shock. "What do we do?" he asked. "We don't have a bag or anything we need to bring…"
"We just go," I told him, jumping out of my seat and starting to run in the direction of the hospital with Maxon right behind me. Something in me came back to life at those six magical words about the impending birth of our grandchild. My baby was having a baby and no matter what I was feeling, she would need me.
"Isn't she early?" Maxon asked, worry dripping from his words.
"Just a week or so. If I were her, I would've loved to be a week early rather than two late," I joked, referring to the time I went so far past my due date Dr. Ashlar had to induce me. The last few weeks before my due date were unbearable, let alone another two weeks of the baby just getting bigger and heavier.
When we arrived at the hospital, Kile was the only other person in the delivery room besides Amber. "He's overreacting," Amber said immediately. "My water hasn't even broken yet but he insisted that I had to come down here."
"Your water can break pretty late into the process," I reminded her, sitting down in a chair by her bed. "How are you doing?"
"I'm perfectly fine! Like I said, he's overreacting. My contractions are still fifteen minutes apart and nothing so bad that a little breathing doesn't help."
"He's a doctor," I reminded her. "Let him overreact." I kissed her forehead gently, surprised to find that she wasn't even sweating yet. I expected her to laugh but she only grimaced, a small line forming between her eyebrows. "Are they getting worse?"
Amber let out a long breath. "Progressively," she gasped out.
I looked over at Maxon who was looking on sympathetically. "Max, why don't you go get a maid to fetch a soft blanket for Amber and maybe some nice socks?" I said, conveying with my tone that he really didn't have much of a choice.
"Socks?" Amber repeated once he was out of earshot.
"I wore them through most of my deliveries. I found that they're just comforting at times." I clutched her hand, careful not to disturb the IV inserted in the back. "So tell me honestly, how are you doing?"
She shrugged. "I'm trying to put on a brave face for Kile but I don't think he believes it one bit. He's seen a lot of women go through labor; he knows that I should be in pain right now."
"Besides the pain though, how are you feeling? You can talk to me you know. I've been through this before."
"I'm scared," she squeaked out, looking at me with earnest eyes. "Women die doing this."
"Yes, but the odds of you dying here, at the hands of the best doctor in the country in the best hospital facilities in the country are rather low. Besides, medicine has progressed so much, even since I had you. If I survived giving birth to twins, you can surely handle one baby."
She smiled appreciatively and then bit her lip. At first I thought she was having another contraction but instead she simply asked, "Was Grandma Maggie ever with you?"
Hearing my mom's name tugged on my heart painfully but the curiosity in Amber's eyes was genuine. I blinked back tears and nodded. "For Khalil she was. And part of yours. But she understood that Maxon and I liked our privacy."
"I'd like you here," she said quickly, unconsciously gripping my hand tighter. "Maybe someday I would like for it to be just me and Kile but I want you with me today."
"Of course," I agreed easily. If she wanted me, I'd be there.
"I do have on question: if I'm not going to be queen anymore, do I have to pay for this hospital visit?"
I laughed out loud and pulled her close, smoothing her hair down a bit as I did so. "Maybe I can pull some strings with the king. Do you have any names in mind?"
Amber shifted pushed herself so that she was more upright, grimacing with discomfort etched in her face. "We have a few in mind but only for a girl. If it's a boy…we're totally fucked," she groaned out as she breathed through another contraction. "I mean, we're screwed."
I smiled appreciatively as Kile entered, carrying a cup of water and a tray of chopped fruit. "Oh, hi Mrs. Schreave," he said, noticing me sitting next to Amber. He put the tray down and sat on the other side of the bed, brushing a hand through her hair.
"I'll go check on your father." I politely excused myself, kissing Amber on the head one last time before heading out in the hallway. I paced for a few minutes until Maxon finally came strolling around the corner, a full bag slung over his shoulder. "Hey," I greeted.
"Hey," he said back. "I brought some extra things." He pulled one strap off to show me the contents of the bag: a fleece blanket from Amber's room, multiple pairs of wool socks, some magazines, her computer.
I laughed out loud, covering my mouth with one hand. "Maxon, she's about to deliver a baby. She won't exactly be bored."
"No, but we may want something to do." He was quick to defend himself but with the way he was blushing, he knew that I was right.
"Hey," I reached up and touched his face, "it's the thought that counts."
He nodded and took a long, shaky breath. Then he laughed shaking his head. "Have we really done this four times before?" he joked. "You'd think we're just as new as them."
"Technically, this is a first for us. It's our first grandchild."
Maxon groaned and pulled away from me slightly. "Can't we pretend that we're just the super cool aunt and uncle? I'm too young to be a grandfather."
"Sure, because you weren't complaining about your gray hair at all this morning."
"That's just my point! I'm too young to have gray hair. I'm only forty-three Ames!"
I raised my eyebrows. "And? I'm forty-one. Look at it this way, by the time we're actually old enough to be grandparents, we could be great-grandparents."
He visibly paled at the thought and he shook his head. "No, no way. This is the last grandchild we're having for another ten years. No more. I'm putting my foot down."
"You can't stop them from having kids," I told my husband.
"Sure I can. I can prohibit baby-making. A procreation prohibition." I just rolled my eyes and let him mutter on, taking a moment to appreciate his enthusiasm and humor over his actual thoughts for a moment. Finally, I just cut him off and wrapped my arms around him.
"I love you."
He stalled, his arms hanging loosely at his sides before wrapping around my waist tightly. "I love you too." His cheek pressed into my hair and I breathed in the smell of his cologne, custom made by my maids based on smells I told them that I liked on him. "How are you holding up, love?" he asked, concern barely concealed in his eyes.
"I'm just focusing on Amber," I told him honestly. He nodded in understanding. He knew that I needed to stay focused on what was going on with our daughter or I would just shut down, something neither of us wanted. A service would need to be planned eventually but I knew that my siblings would understand that my hands were tied for today. We had already kind of agreed as a group that it would be Kota and Gerad's main responsibility anyway.
"If at any point you need a break from all of this, just say the word and I'll cover for you," he offered but it was pointless. If I needed a break, he would need to come with me. "Before I forget," he said, digging through the bag for a few seconds before pulling out a thermos, "I also brought us and Kile some coffee."
I smiled at his thoughtfulness as the door to the hospital opened behind us. "Queen America, Amber is asking for you."
"Thank you Dr. Ashlar." I squeezed Maxon's hand once more and then followed our doctor back to Amber's room where she seemed to be fighting another contraction. "Don't fight it. Just let go, breathe yourself through it. Focus on me, okay? Just focus on me."
"Don't leave me," she pleaded in a breathless voice, her eyes squeezed shut in pain.
I shook my head and leaned my forehead against hers. "I won't. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."
And I kept my promise. I stayed right at her side, holding her hand and wiping back her hair. Even when she held my hand so tight I thought it would break from the pressure, even when she used all of her energy to deliver her beautiful baby and became a mother herself. I held on to her hand even after Kile lifted up her daughter so that she could see.
"Amber, honey, look at your little girl," I whispered in her hair, not taking my eyes off of my granddaughter.
Amber's head bobbed a bit as she gathered her remaining energy to open her eyes and see her daughter for the first time. She immediately started crying. "She's so beautiful," she cried, leaning her head against mine.
"Ten fingers, ten toes, lungs seem to be clear…she's perfect," Kile declared with Dr. Ashlar nodding in confirmation behind him.
Kile put her down on Amber's stomach so that he could properly cut the umbilical cord before taking her away for a good cleaning. "She looks like Derrick," I said quietly to Amber. "Already, she looks like him."
"She has his hair," Amber mused, looking over in the direction of her baby's cries. From where we were sitting, I could just barely get a glimpse of her blonde tufts around Kile's elbow. "How lucky she is to have two fathers; one to look after her from above, and one to look after her here."
"She has so many people looking after her from above," I told Amber, imagining how Amberly would beam at the sight of her great-granddaughter.
"Between Derrick, Grandpa Shalom, Uncle August and Grandma Maggie, nothing will ever touch her. She'll always have her guardian angels with her."
Shalom POV
Breathe in. Stretch further. Ignore the pain. Keep going.
I grimaced, feeling my hip pull uncomfortably in protest as I leaned over my legs further. I wasn't supposed to be stretching this much in my down time or doing anything else really that could risk hurting my hip anymore but I didn't see the big deal in it anymore. The ballet didn't know that I was quitting yet but they would be receiving my formal letter of resignation soon. Hopefully they could understand why I had to quit; it's not every day that you're asked to be king.
"King," I scoffed aloud, stretching too far too fast and feeling my muscles pull tight. I wanted to continue stretching twice daily since it always had been a bit of a decompresser but I could already feel the stress of being king wreaking havoc on my body. Dad emphasized how important it was for me to keep up some sort of physical regime in my life or I'd go stir-crazy. For him, he made time to go to the guards' weight rooms and lifted. For me, if I couldn't dance in the private studio Mom had gifted Win and I years ago, I could at least stretch in my room. Never in the study though. My family was pretty accepting of my choice in being a ballerina; I couldn't imagine advisers being the same way, even if I am their king.
I shook my head again at the word. When Amber brought it up to me I couldn't wait to start changing the world. Now I was starting to have second thoughts though. Was Amber this scared? If she was she hid it very well. It was hard for me to picture my twin sister as being intimidated by the crown. For Amber it was a control thing. She never liked feeling confined or limited and from what I understood of Dad's job, a lot of it was being told what did or didn't fit into a campaign or budget. Or both.
On the other hand, I loved rigidity to my life. It was just one of many reasons that I loved ballet. There was very little left to chance in ballet. Your feet were either pointed or sickled, you were either on beat or off tempo. One small mishap while lifting one of the girls and you could break her. Ruling a country was similar. Right? Dad would normally be the one for me to turn to with this stuff but he'd been so distracted by Grandma Maggie that I didn't want to stress him further. For now this was something I was going to have to figure out for myself.
As if that was enough stress, I still had Shel lingering around the palace. Lingering may be a strong word since her mother does live here and she grew up here but still, she was a grown woman who could surely afford her own place. What was keeping her here? You know why she's still here, a small voice in the back of my head told me but I quickly shut it down. I knew that Shel was a good choice as a partner in ruling the country but was she a good choice for a wife? She had a big heart – especially for kids – but she also had this natural dignity that came out in the presence of important people whom she needed to impress. It was a valuable skill for a queen to have. Mom used to be a royal pariah for what not to do when it came to being dignified.
And I didn't want to push her. There was still that small part of me that was telling me that I was being played. It was nonsensical and me just being paranoid but it still felt too good to be true. I mean, Shel Whitaker-Illéa, the girl of my dreams, finally single and for the taking and actually showing interest in me? More than just her best friend she wanted to fuck so that she knew what to do when the time came with her actual boyfriend?
My watch beeped loudly, telling me that my stretch time was over and that I had to stop thinking about Shel so that I could finish learning about education budgets before going to bed. I had just gotten settled at my desk when one of the night maids for the third floor of the palace came in. "Your Highness, I am here to inform you that you are wanted in the hospital wing," she reported.
"Did Amber have the baby?" I asked anxiously, knowing that Amber would be delivering the baby soon if she hadn't done so already. She made it clear to our whole family that when the time came, she only wanted Mom and Kile in the delivery room with her. I was perfectly okay with that. Even though she was my twin, blood made me queasy.
"I think it's best you see for yourself," the maid told me but she smiled, that being enough for me to know that I was officially an uncle.
"Thank you, Meridah." I had been making a real conscious effort to be nicer to the maids and guards since I would be living at the palace for the rest of my life and these people would be serving me.
When I arrived at the hospital, Amber was lying half-asleep in her bed with her baby girl tucked in her hospital gown. Dad and Mom were standing nearby, Mom watching closely while Dad just beamed with pride. Kile sat with his arm around Amber, staring at the baby as if it was the first baby he'd ever seen.
As soon as she saw me, Amber's eyes lit up in the way that they always did. We couldn't deny how much we enjoyed being around each other. We were just magnets; our DNA attracting us to each other. "Hey, AC," I greeted, not really knowing what to say. After all, my twin sister had just had a baby. She was a mother. A lot had changed in the last twelve hours and I suddenly didn't know how I felt about it. "How ya doing?"
"Good," she whispered. "I mean, I'm in a lot of pain but it was all so worth it. For her." Her eyes drifted back down to the baby.
"They have a few more minutes where the baby should be skin-to-skin with her but after that we can start passing her around," Mom explained with a twinkle in her eye. She looked exhausted as well but she was also the happiest I'd seen her in weeks. This baby couldn't have come at a better time for Mom.
Kile ran a light finger up the baby's silken cheek and looked at Amber. "So…are you still set on that name we discussed?"
Amber didn't take her eyes off of the baby as she shook her head no. "No, I think I've had a change of heart."
"So then what's her name?" Dad asked.
"Sandrine. It means 'defender of men.' She may not be an heiress but she can still do great things." Amber dragged a finger over Sandrine's cheek, the baby cooing lightly at the touch. "Sandrine Maggie Woodwork."
Mom looked like she was about to fall over as Dad repeated, "Maggie?"
"There seems to be a tradition in this family with naming babies after their ancestors. I didn't want Sandy to be left out," Amber explained patiently.
"Woodwork, huh?" Kile asked, his eyes twinkling. "Are we getting married then?"
Amber smiled at him lazily. "Maybe later. We've had a pretty busy day today, don't you think?"
Kile smiled back at her and leaned forward to kiss her tenderly. "I'd wait one hundred years to marry you, Amber Schreave."
Seeing how happy Kile and Amber were together with their little baby and seeing how unconditionally Kile already loved the child that wasn't really his made me realize that even though I was scared, I should still take the risk with Shel and just tell her how I felt. I loved her and she needed to know that before she left for her travels abroad.
Without saying a word, I took off back in the direction of the third floor for Shel's room. She and Aunt Georgia were conveniently the only friends of Mom and Dad who had their private rooms on the third floor since our family dominated most of the floor and they were the smallest family. It was perfect for me though. It was soothing to me at night to know that Shel was close by. And now, knowing exactly where to find her.
She answered the door after I spend several seconds knocking incessantly. She looked surprised to see me, her big dark eyes wide with surprise. But she had every right to be surprised; I hadn't spoken to her in weeks. "Hey," she said quietly, clearly testing the waters.
"I just need to say what's on my mind, okay? And you may not like it but it just needs to be said." She chewed on her lip nervously as I took a breath to get myself together. "I love you. I love you and I don't know how you feel about me but I've loved you for a long time. It was wrong for me to not tell you that. I should have just saved us both a lot of trouble and told you long ago but I can't change that now. And I know that if you do love me and you do choose me that you're agreeing to a difficult life. You're basically agreeing to be queen and I know that it is a decision that may require time to think about but I'm willing to wait. You're the only girl I ever want in my life to be queen and I believe that we can make an excellent team, both as monarchs and as friends."
She stood in front of me, one hand on her door and the other covering her mouth, not saying a word. Finally she reached up and pulled my face down to meet hers in a passionate kiss. "I was wondering when you'd finally ask," she whispered into my mouth.
"Is that a yes?"
"It's a yes," she confirmed. Shel looked at me seriously then, not breaking eye contact as she said, "I'm saying yes to all of it. You're the only man I want in my life, Shalom Schreave. I've been an idiot thinking that I could run from my feelings for you but you're it for me. I just wish you didn't take so goddamn long to realize how you felt about me."
I shook my head. "I was the idiot for believing that you actually love me."
"I good as told you!" she argued playfully. "Did I not tell you that was my reason for ending things with Sahren?"
"It doesn't matter now. All that matters now is that I love you."
Her smile lit up her face, revealing bright white teeth that stood out against her dark skin. "I love you too."