Granny pulled her motorcycle up to the curb, and let Cinderella, the Ugly Duckling, and the two mice hop off.
"Thanks for the lift, Granny!" Pixie shouted.
"You're welcome," Granny said. "Good luck finding your prince, dear. And do send us a wedding invitation! I just love weddings."
"You bet, Granny!" Cinderella called, waving as Granny started her motorcycle, and zoomed off back to her cottage in the woods.
"She's a nice lady," Pixie said.
"Yeah," Dixie agreed. "But we've got important work to do now."
"Right," Cinderella said, and she and her friends walked down the street.
For about an hour, the foursome went around town, asking people if they knew how to get to the King's palace. Unfortunately, nobody knew. They didn't even know what they were talking about! It wasn't until they came to a sign in the middle of the road that read, "You Are Now Entering The Duchy of Dastardly."
"How do you like that?" Dixie asked. "We're not even in a kingdom!"
"We must've gotten turned around while we were in the woods," Cinderella sighed.
"What are we going to do now, Cinderella?" the Ugly Duckling asked.
"I don't know," Cinderella said, sitting on a rock next to the sign. "I'll never find Prince Charming at this rate."
"Did I hear you say you were looking for Prince Charming?" a voice from behind the sign asked. Startled, Cinderella immediately jumped to her feet, and looked around.
"Who said that?" she asked.
"I did, of course," a wolf said, coming out from behind the post (Hokey Wolf, to be precise).
"Who are you?" Dixie asked.
"Are you another Big Bad Wolf?" the Ugly Duckling asked.
"Me?" the wolf asked. "A Big Bad Wolf? Perish the thought! My card, madam."
The wolf whipped a card out from out of thin air, and handed it to Cinderella.
"Rumplestiltskin," Cinderella read. "Dream Maker. Have Dreams, Will Travel."
"That's right, little lady!" Rumplestiltskin shouted, taking his card back. "I can make all your fondest dreams come true! Now then, you're looking for a prince charming, am I right?"
"Yes," Cinderella said. "You see, what happened was . . . . ."
"Say no more, lady, say no more! Come with me, and I'll see to it that you'll get a prince charming! For a nominal fee, of course. Just sign here."
Rumplestiltskin whipped a contract and a feather pen out of think air, and handed them to Cinderella. Cinderella and her friends read through it, but it was kind of hard to read, especially at the bottom.
"I can't read the fine print," Pixie said.
"Anybody got a magnifying glass?" Dixie asked.
"Just a minor formality," Rumplestiltskin said. "It doesn't mean a thing. It's a standard contract, you understand. Makes everything legal. Come on, honey, just sign on the dotted line . . . . ."
"Well, I don't know . . . . ." Cinderella said, hesitantly.
"You want to find your prince charming, or don't you, sister?" Rumplestiltskin asked.
"Yes, but . . . ."
"Then just give me your John Hancock on the contract. I haven't got all day, you know."
Thinking she had nothing to lose, Cinderella signed the contract. The minute she did, it rolled itself up, and Rumplestiltskin grabbed it.
"Wonderful, wonderful!" he shouted, pressing the two ends of the rolled up contract together, causing it to disappear. "Now, just follow me, and we'll be on our way to your prince charming!"
Cinderella and her friends followed Rumplestiltskin to a large manor on the edge of town. They walked through the gates, into the manor, and down a large hallway. They came to the end of the hall, and Rumplestiltskin knocked on the door.
"Mr. Rumplestiltskin, what are we doing here?" the Ugly Duckling asked.
"Before I can get Cindy to Prince Charming," Rumplestiltskin explained, "I have a little business with the Duke of Dastardly to do first."
"Enter!" a voice shouted from behind the door.
Our heroes and Rumplestiltskin entered the room once the door opened. There was a throne in the room, and sitting on it was the Duke of Dastardly, with his sidekick, Sir Muttley (Dick Dastardly and Muttley).
"Your lordship, sir," Rumplestiltskin said, bowing. "I have fulfilled your request, for I have found you a girl who can spin straw into gold thread!"
"I can what?!" Cinderella shouted, giving Rumplestiltskin a weird look.
"I repeat, this girl, Cinderella, can spin straw into gold thread," Rumplestiltskin said.
"Excellent," the Duke of Dastardly said. "And as promised, Mr. Rumplestiltskin, I'll pay your fee, but on one condition."
"And what might that be, my lord?" Rumplestiltskin asked.
"I want this girl to spin a room full of gold," the Duke of Dastardly said.
"Deal," Rumplestiltskin said.
"But . . . . but I can't . . . ." Cinderella started.
"Shhh!" Rumplestiltskin hissed. "What's the matter with you? You wanna blow the whole thing?"
"But I can't spin straw into gold thread!" Cinderella hissed right back, so the Duke of Dastardly wouldn't hear her.
"Don't worry, don't worry!" Rumplestiltskin said. "Let me handle everything."
"Anything wrong?" the Duke of Dastardly asked.
"No, no, no," Rumplestiltskin said. "No problem at all, sir. Now if you'll excuse me, I have another appointment."
And with that, Rumplestiltskin waved his hand, and seemingly vanished into thin air. Cinderella just stood there. She had no idea what to do now.
"Well, don't just stand there gaping!" the Duke of Dastardly shouted. "Follow me. I have a room all ready and waiting for you."
Sir Muttley snickered wheezily as the Duke of Dastardly stood up, and lead Cinderella and her friends to a tower that was filled with straw. In the center of the tower room was a spinning wheel.
"Now then," the Duke of Dastardly said, "here's the straw. I expect you to spin it into gold by morning."
"But . . . . but sir, I . . . ." Cinderella started.
"Of course, if you don't," the Duke of Dastardly said, "then I'll have to lock you away in my dungeon forever!"
"But sire, I . . . ." Cinderella started to say again, but she was again cut off by the Duke of Dastardly.
"Well, happy spinning, kid!" he shouted.
"Snazza razzen frazzen, so long!" Sir Muttley shouted, and he and his master ran out of the tower room, and slammed the door closed, snickering that wheezy snicker of his.
"That girl better come through," the duke said as he and Sir Muttley headed back to his throne room. "Especially since I'm spending my last dime on this investment! If she can spin straw into gold, it'll make me even richer than a king!"
"Snazza razzen frazzen, what about me?" Sir Muttley asked, poking the Duke of Dastardly, but the duke took no notice.
"I'll be rich I tell you!" he shouted, gleefully. "Rich, rich, rich!"
Sir Muttley didn't like the sound of this, and promptly bit into the duke's leg.
CHOMP!
"YEEOUCH!" the duke cried. "All right, Muttley, all right! We'll be rich! Now let go of my leg!"
"Snazza razzen frazzen, that's better!" Sir Muttley shouted, and then he snickered.
Back in the tower room, Cinderella, Pixie, Dixie, and the Ugly Duckling were trying to figure out how to spin the straw into gold thread. And they knew it wasn't going to be easy!
"See if you can wrap the straw around the spindle, Cinderella," Pixie said.
"And Pixie and I will spin it," Dixie said. "Right, Pixie?"
"Right, Dixie," Pixie said, and he and Dixie immediately climbed on top of the wheel, and began running so the wheel would turn. Cinderella tried to wrap the straw around the spindle, but it wouldn't work.
"I'll never figure this out," Cinderella said. "I don't know how to use a spinning wheel, and I certainly can't make gold from straw, even if I did know!"
And with that, Cinderella buried her face in her hands and began to cry. Pixie, Dixie, and the Ugly Duckling just stood there, not knowing what else to do. Suddenly, there was a puff of smoke, and who should appear but Rumplestiltskin.
"Hiya, toots," he said. "I'm back. Did you miss me?"
"Miss you?!" Pixie shouted. "You're the one that got her into this mess in the first place!"
"I tried to tell you, I don't know how to spin straw into gold," Cinderella said.
"Not to worry, little lady," Rumplestiltskin said. "For I, Rumplestiltskin, know how to spin straw into gold, and I am willing to do the task for you!"
"You are?" Cinderella asked. "Great!"
"Not so fast there, missy," Rumplestiltskin said. "I'm not giving away my talents for free, you know."
"But I don't have any money."
"That happens to be a nice little necklace you're wearing."
Cinderella had forgotten she was wearing a locket around her neck. She held the pendant in her hand, and swallowed.
"I don't know," she said. "It used to be my mother's, and I'm not sure I can give it up."
"Would you rather give up a simple little locket, or your entire freedom for the rest of your life?" Rumplestiltskin asked. "Quickly, quickly! You have to make up your mind!"
Cinderella sighed, took off her locket, and handed it to Rumplestiltskin.
"Wonderful, wonderful," Rumplestiltskin said. "And now, it is time for me to get to work."
Rumplestiltskin snapped his fingers, and a smaller wolf (Ding-A-Ling, Hokey Wolf's sidekick) appeared.
"You called, boss?" he asked.
"Yeah," Rumplestiltskin said. "I got a job for ya. Start spinning this straw into gold. And be quick about it! You've only got twelve hours to do it!"
Immediately, the little wolf began spinning the spinning wheel, and, as if by magic, the straw floated out of the large pile, flew to the wheel, and turned into gold thread as the wolf spun it. Cinderella, the Ugly Duckling, Pixie, and Dixie just stood there and stared. None of them could believe it.
"How did he do it?" the Ugly Duckling asked.
"Trade secret, kid," Rumplestiltskin said. "Now then, Cinderella, I shall see you in the duke's throne room in a few hours. Good night."
And with that, Rumplestiltskin popped out of the room in a puff of smoke.
"Strange character," Dixie commented.
"You said it, Dixie," Pixie said, then he yawned, and stretched. "Well, what do you guys say we get some sleep?"
"Good idea," the Ugly Duckling said. "I'm tired!"
The others agreed, and fell asleep. At dawn, they were awakened by the sound of the door opening, and slamming into the wall. The Duke of Dastardly had entered, followed by Sir Muttley.
"All right, missy," he said. "Where's my . . . . ."
The Duke of Dastardly stopped in mid-sentence when he saw the gold thread piled high up to the ceiling.
"Here's your gold thread, your grace," Cinderella said, curtsying.
"I told ya she could spin straw into gold," Rumplestiltskin said, popping into the room with a puff of smoke. "Now how about my fee?"
"Yes, of course," the Duke of Dastardly said, handing Rumplestiltskin a small pouch. "What's a couple of pazzoozahs, after all, when I have millions worth in gold thread!"
"But you can't spend gold thread, your duke-ness," Dixie pointed out.
"Who asked you, you little runt?!" the Duke of Dastardly shouted, as he flicked Dixie off of Cinderella's shoulder.
"Well, now that I've been paid, my work here is done," Rumplestiltskin said.
"Wait a minute!" Cinderella shouted. "You said you'd help me find Prince Charming!"
"I already did," Rumplestiltskin said, counting the pazzoozahs. "You're lookin' at him."
"You mean the Duke of Dastardly?" Pixie asked.
"You got it, shorty," Rumplestiltskin said.
"But he's not my prince!" Cinderella shouted. "You promised you'd help me find my Prince Charming!"
"I promised I'd help you find a prince charming," Rumplestiltskin said. "I didn't say it was going to be your prince charming."
"But he's not even a prince!" Dixie argued.
"A mere technicality," Rumplestiltskin said. "Besides, Cindy baby, you signed a contract, and the contract is legal and binding. You spun the straw into gold, now you get to marry the Duke of Dastardly. So long, kid."
And with that, Rumplestiltskin disappeared in his puff of smoke. Cinderella and her friends just stood there, not knowing what to say, or think. The Duke of Dastardly and Sir Muttley grabbed some of the gold thread, and started to take it out of the room.
"Come on, Muttley," he said. "Let's take this thread to the tailor. And as for you, Cinderella,take some of that gold thread, and come with us. We have a lot to do before the wedding."
The Duke of Dastardly began laughing, and Sir Muttley snickered. Cinderella picked up some of the thread, and followed them. It was about all she could do. Pixie, Dixie, and the Ugly Duckling stayed behind, and watched Cinderella go.
"How are we going to get Cinderella out of this wedding?" Dixie asked.
"I don't know," Pixie said. "But we have to think of something!"