Finally back in Paris from my vacation…returned from the States with a lot of Bath & Body Works products and a Shield hoodie, yay me! :D
I've found a new favorite TV show in 'Hit the Floor'. Kyle, Zero and Jelena are everything, LOL.
Big big thank you to Alisi824, Guest, Ctinaisfashion, itsgbruhhh, nikki1335, ChelleLew, justkimmy, Siren's Call To The Dead, benova13, Bharm, Alexis Black-Reigns, ItReignsJustice-619, LuxuriaVanitas, CFierce116, aliveagain, DeeMarie426, IRENELOVE83, Tammy, Shield316, princessreigns, Olivia Reigns,Brie's Mode and ThatGirl54 for the awesome reviews.
I suggest listening to 'I Hate This Part' by the Pussycat Dolls while reading the latter part of this chapter.
The distant humming sound was the first thing that registered in Sasha's mind as she drifted back to consciousness. The second thing was she was alone in the bed. She sat upright, slightly disoriented by the invasive noise as she tried to gauge her surroundings. Sunrays infiltrated the floor-to-ceiling glass windows inside the bedroom, indicating it was morning. Her head felt woozy and heavy from lack of sleep, having spent the night thinking about what Joe had said. And each time she did, her heart hurt even more.
The noise did not go away. Climbing out of the bed, she went in search of the racket, vaguely wondering where her boyfriend was. She followed the sound to the kitchen, stopping short when she saw Joe walking around the kitchen island, pushing a vacuum around as he cleaned up the shattered remnants of the Jack Daniels bottle from last night. It all came back to her. The big blow up at his parents' home; his meltdown in the kitchen and the heartbreaking story he told her. He had showered and changed so he looked better and rested, but it didn't stop Sasha from wondering if he had gotten any sleep.
Seeing her approaching, Joe quickly put his hand out. Sasha could see his mouth moving, forming words as he tried to get his message across over the drone of the vacuum. Shaking her head, she gestured at both her ears, and Joe rolled his eyes with a small grin before turning the machine off. "I was saying stay put, don't come any closer," he said, "Your feet are bare and there's glass all over the place."
Sasha grinned. "You must think I've got Dumbo's ears if you expected me to hear you with all that racket."
Joe pointed at the front door. "I got your stuff out of the car so you can get changed. Unfortunately there's no food in the house but we can pick up breakfast on the way to the airport."
"Sure." She leaned against the wall across from him, watching him vacuum until he was finished. "I should have been the one cleaning that up," she said, "I made that mess."
"Well, I'm the reason you made the mess, so…" he trailed off and shrugged, focusing on putting the vacuum away. Uncomfortable with the awkward silence, Sasha crossed her arms over her chest and walked slowly around the open living space, taking in the new environment. "I take it this is another house of yours?" It was considerably smaller than his Tampa home but it had the same open airiness, made more conspicuous by the shortage of furniture in the living room area, as well as the floor-to-ceiling windows that made up the walls of the house.
"Yeah. This is where I come when I want to relax and get away from everyone. It's my refuge, my little sanctuary from the madness of traveling and work." Joe gazed at her. "Would you believe me if I told you you're the very first person I've brought here?"
Sasha was surprised. "Really?"
"Yeah. And I've had it for two years now. Only a handful of people know about this place. Matt who found it for me, my dad and mom. It's very private, almost a secret. And when I come I'm always alone." With a quick shake of his head, he turned away, raking his fingers through his loose hair. "Last night was definitely not how I wanted you to see it for the first time though," he mumbled.
Again, uneasy silence settled between them as the ghost of the night before finally made its appearance. Sasha brushed her hands nervously down her skirt and looked up again, catching Joe's stare. "You didn't get much sleep, did you?" she asked.
"Not really," he admitted, his smile wry. "You?"
"Not really." She saw him differently now – as someone who had something very valuable stolen from him by someone he trusted – maybe someone he should never have trusted – and would have to live with that fact for the rest of his life. Thinking back, she realized just how many things suddenly made sense. The wistful looks he would give Mia, or infants they came across…even their casual talks about him having children of his own in the future, the longing that filled his eyes before he cleverly diverted to another subject…she had thought nothing of them until last night. There was no longer any doubt that Joe wanted children. And with that in mind, things suddenly became just that more complex for her. "Joe…what you told me…I couldn't stop thinking about it. I never imagined that was what happened. I never realized anyone was even capable of doing something like that. I'm so sorry."
"Don't be," Joe responded softly, shaking his head, "It was a long time ago. I should've put it behind me by now."
"That's not something you can put behind you so easily. Someone you loved and trusted betraying you like that? It's hard for one to recover from something like that, if ever." She gave him a meaningful look. "Baby, why have you been taking all those pills?"
He looked into her eyes and knew he couldn't keep the truth from her any longer. "I'm still in pain, Sasha," he confessed, glancing away. "My knee is still messed up and for some damn reason it's not healing as fast as I want it to. I walk fine but in the ring and the gym it hurts like hell. The pills help…most of the time."
"And the drinking?"
"After the shit that went down at my Pop's I just needed a drink to take the edge off," said Joe. "Mixing it with the painkillers happened for the first time last night. I can now categorically state that it will never happen again. Bad idea."
"You can't keep doing this to yourself," said Sasha, "the injury, the painkillers. You need to get help otherwise it's going to become a bigger problem."
"No one knows I'm injured," said Joe.
"Not even Colby or Jon? Why? You think they're gonna call you a pussy or something?"
"Babe, if I mention it to anyone else I can guarantee that I'll be dropped from TV, and Colby and Jon will be affected too. The three of us are a team. We're practically carrying the shows on our backs nowadays. They need me to be at a hundred percent."
"But you're not at a hundred percent, Joe. Are you telling me the WWE doesn't care about their employees' well-being? Can't you ask for a week off or something?"
"Things don't work that way, babe."
"So what are you going to do?"
Joe shrugged. "I just have to suck it up. I'll be fine. It's not like I have much of a choice. So many people are depending on me right now, within the company and outside. I don't want to disappoint them."
"Telling them about your injury does not equate as disappointing anyone. And you do have a choice. A choice to stop the pain, pain that will only get worse if it goes untreated."
He scratched his goatee. "Sasha, you don't understand-"
"I understand fine," she interposed. "I understand that your injury has caused you to become dependent on drugs. You're addicted to painkillers, Joe. You're hurting yourself even more and it won't be long before you start hurting other people. You could be on those long drives loaded up on painkillers and you could fall asleep at the wheel and something terrible could happen. To you. To the other guys. Is that what you want?"
Joe scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, don't be so dramatic. I told you I'll be fine. You're worrying over nothing."
For the umpteenth time in as many hours Sasha felt affronted by her boyfriend's words. "Dramatic?" she repeated, an incredulous expression on her face. "Really?"
Joe sighed. "Sasha-"
She glared hard at him. "You must think I'm stupid, or that I'm some dumb Yes Woman. If you think I'm going to agree that everything's alright and then sit by while you continue to poison yourself then you done lost your mind." She shot him a pointed look. "Do you even want to help yourself?"
It was Joe's turn to be offended. "What's that supposed to mean?"
A derisive sound escaped her lips as she rolled her eyes. "Figure it out, Einstein. I'm done talkin' to your ass."
Dismayed, Joe's eyes trailed his girlfriend as she crossed the room and grabbed her suitcase. Sasha didn't say another word, shooting the Samoan a frosty glare as she walked past him and marched down the hallway towards the bedroom, her suitcase rolling behind her. Joe watched her go, sighing heavily and shoving a frustrated hand through his hair. This was not how he'd envisioned the morning would go. He had hoped they could smooth things over from last night but those plans were taking a big nosedive.
Sasha took her time showering and getting dressed, in no mood to face Joe again anytime soon. Her mind was working, anger, frustration and sadness seeping from every move she made with her preparations. Was he really not going to do anything about the problem staring him in the face? Was he not going to acknowledge the fact that he did have a problem in the first place, and a serious one at that? She'd heard stories, stories with a similar path as this that had not-so-happy endings. She had even seen a few things during this trip, things she hadn't mentioned to anyone, that other WWE Superstars were doing that made her realize Joe wasn't the only one in this predicament. On top of that he was still struggling to come to terms with the events of three years ago. She didn't know how he was doing it, carrying such heavy burden while he went about his business like nothing was wrong. There was so much she'd had to take in this week alone and it was a tough task trying not to let it all overwhelm her. Already feeling her brain begin to hurt, she silently wished she could get home sooner.
She was locking up her suitcase when she heard a commotion from outside the bedroom and went out to see what was going on. She could hear voices, with Joe's being the loudest and the angriest. Walking back into the living area, her eyes widened at the sight of Matt and Sika standing at the front door with Joe looking less than pleased to see them.
"What are you doing here?"
"Uce, come on, man."
"No, Matt. I don't want any of you here. You need to leave."
"I just want to talk to her," Sika said.
"She's got nothin' to say to you. Mom said plenty yesterday."
A part of her knew he was only being protective, but a stubborn voice in her head harped on about the fact that she'd never needed anyone to speak for her before, and Joe wasn't about to be the first. Sasha strode forwards, coming between the three men and placing a hand against her boyfriend's chest. "It's okay, Joe."
"Babe, you don't have to," said Joe, tearing his indignant gaze away from his kinsmen to meet hers.
"It's fine." She spoke more firmly, her pointed stare telling him she was not taking no for an answer. Reluctantly, Joe stepped away, but his anger was not quelled. Over Sasha's head, he gave his father a warning look. If she looked in any way uncomfortable, he was whisking her right out of there, pronto.
Sasha went outside to the deck, sensing Sika following behind. The mother of two leaned against a pillar and stared out at the beach for a few moments before returning her attention to the father of her boyfriend. His appreciative smile sadly did little to repress her nerves. "Good morning, Sika," she greeted, opting to be polite. "You wanted to talk to me?"
The older man shoved his hands in the pockets of his cargo pants. "I came to check on you, see how you're doing after yesterday."
"I'm okay. Thanks for asking," she said, focused on her fingers clenching and unclenching the white picket railing of the porch. "Surely you couldn't have come all this way just for me."
"I did," he replied. "I wanted my wife to come along but she didn't think you'd want to see her. She's embarrassed by her actions and rightly so. I'm still not quite sure what got into her. Patty knows better than to throw things like that at you."
Sasha stood quietly and listened, and all she was hearing was that Patricia couldn't be bothered to personally apologize to her, so she sent her hubby to do her dirty work. Which was fine by her. She didn't want to see the other woman either. "I just need you to know that I would never try to put a rift between Joe and your family," she told Sika. "He adores you all and holds you in such high regard."
"I know. I can tell he cares a lot about you. He's different with you. Better, which is good." Sika trained his sights on the beach, clearing his throat. "My boy's been a little…fragile for some time now and it's about time he got out of the funk he's been in. Fragile is the last thing he should be feeling if he wants to break into the main event scene."
The statement did not surprise Sasha in the least. "Is it all about wrestling with you, Sir?"
"Excuse me?"
"Are those the only conversations you have with Joe?" she queried, her tongue slackening more and more as her patience began to crumble. "The only thing you have time for? I'm just curious."
Sika's bushy brows furrowed. "Are you insinuating that I don't care for my son?"
Sasha shook her head. "It just feels to me that wrestling is the be-all end-all for you when it comes to Joe, despite the fact that there's other things going on with him. It certainly seems that way."
"Wrestling is what he was born to do, Sasha," Sika replied, his tone far less friendly now, "It's been his outlet for as long as I can remember and I just want him to be the best he can be. All I want for him is to be successful."
Sasha could tell she had ruffled his feathers but she was past caring. Now she understood why Joe was acting the way he was. "So he's going to achieve that success at the cost of his physical and mental wellbeing? Do you truly understand what Andrea did to your son? Do you know he's not over it, three years after? And on top of that you've been piling all this pressure on him to the point where he's so afraid of disappointing you that he's stuffing his face with pills to numb his pain." Sasha didn't know what to think anymore. This was a household in denial and she didn't know what to make of it.
"Dad! What's going on over there?" Joe appeared on the porch with his luggage at the sound of the raised voices, wary grey eyes switching between his father and girlfriend.
Sika looked at his youngest child, his face pale. "Leati, what's this I'm hearing about pills?"
Joe gaped at Sasha. "You told him?"
"I had to," she defended, "He has to know what his shoving his ambitions down your throat is doing to you." Without waiting for a response she brushed past him, returning to the bedroom to retrieve her own things.
Joe turned back around, making an exasperated sound as he did so. Sika and Matt stared at Joe, the older man wearing a remorseful expression. "Son…I didn't know-"
"It's nothing, dad," Joe interjected. "I don't want your lecture or your sympathy. I have a flight to catch." He moved away from them, heading for his car and putting his luggage away, looking over to see Sasha coming out of the house with hers.
"I'll take that." Matt got to her before Joe did. He relieved her of her suitcase, sending her a warm smile before leading the way to Joe's car. He helped her stow it away in the trunk and then faced her, his hands stuffed into his pockets as he waited for her to do the same. He'd been quiet up until this moment and Sasha wondered what he had to say.
"I'm sorry about all of this, Sasha," he said. "Our meeting was less than ideal and I feel terrible about it."
His eyes shone with sincerity, and the mother of two felt the resentment clogging her heart thaw. She liked Matt, and it wasn't exactly his fault that his mother thought little of her. "You shouldn't," she answered honestly but briefly, not knowing what else to say.
Matt's eyes searched her face. He started to say more when the sound of the engine starting drowned him out. The former WWE Superstar knew his baby brother well enough to know the timing of the interruption was not coincidental. He settled for pulling Sasha into a hug. "Thanks for being there for my little brother," he spoke in her ear, and she heard the slight crack of emotion in his voice. "Please keep at it. You're good for him."
Sasha smiled at him, her first genuine smile all morning. "Thank you, Matt. That means a lot to me."
She got into the passenger's side, overhearing Sika asking Joe to call him when he got back to Tampa. She didn't hear the younger man's answer, but his expression as he drove away told the entire story.
"I cannot believe you told him about the painkillers," he griped.
"Why? So you could keep hiding it from him?" she retorted. He would not make her feel bad, not when she hadn't done anything wrong.
"Sasha, he thinks I'm weak! I can see it in his eyes."
"You're not weak! You're human! I don't know where this mentality is coming from!"
He started to say something else, then decided otherwise, exhaling a breath instead. He shook his head, tightening his grip on the wheel. "I wasn't bullshittin' when I told you you wouldn't understand," he muttered, loud enough for her to hear.
"Then help me understand," she implored.
"Forget about it."
"So you're pissed at me because I was trying to help? Really, Joe?"
"Just drop it, okay?" he said brusquely. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."
Sasha couldn't believe this was happening. "You know what? I can't do this right now."
"Can't do what?"
She tried to choose her next words carefully and prayed he wouldn't take them the wrong way. But at this moment she felt she was out of options. "Joe, I feel there's a lot of things you need to sort out right now. Patch things up with your parents for one. But more importantly, you need to take care of yourself. Your mind, body and spirit. I don't think you're in a healthy state of mind and you need to fix that." She sighed. "It's the only way you and I can move forward. At least that's how I feel."
As soon as the words left her lips, she knew she had his full attention. With all the courage she could muster, she looked up at him. A cold hand gripped her heart at the look on his face, flush with emotion. When he opened his mouth to speak, his tone held barely-restrained fury.
"Sounds like you're breaking up with me, baby girl," he said. Venom dripped from the term of endearment.
She shook her head. "I'm not. But you know I'm right. It's not like your mother is enamored with me anyway."
"She was out of line."
"She was," Sasha agreed, "But Joe, the last thing I want is for you to be in conflict with your family because of me. I would never want that for you but I can already see it happening."
"Are you being serious right now?" He looked at her, and Sasha felt her chest tighten at the hurt in his eyes.
"Baby, I'm not breaking up with you. But there's too much going on right now. If your family for one can't accept me how do you want us to work?" she defended, "How would you feel if Mia and T.K. didn't want anything to do with you?" Call her selfish, but there was no way she could endure that kind of hostility from her boyfriend's mother. Not again. Not after Trevor.
"So you're just going to give up on us?" He snorted. He was angry. Upset. "Typical."
Her eyes narrowed. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she demanded. "Joe, I get that you're angry but I don't mean it the way that you think."
"Oh, it's exactly the way that I think," he growled, "And that's fine. If that's what you want, fine. I won't stop you."
"It's not!" Sasha swallowed back tears. "Baby, don't do this."
But he ignored her, like she had done to him earlier. She touched his arm but he shrugged her off, choosing to pay extra attention to his driving. He didn't speak to her again.
The trip back was tense and uncomfortable. Other than helping her sort out her ticket information at the airport, Joe basically ignored Sasha. He didn't speak to her on the plane either. It was Sasha's first ever plane ride which turned out to be a miserable one because Joe was giving her the cold shoulder. Cold resentment dictated his every move, his every expression, and for the first time since they met, Sasha wished she was anywhere but with him.
It was the same treatment she received when they landed in Tampa, when they left the airport to head to her home. It was when they arrived at her apartment building that she finally snapped. "Enough with this silent treatment shit, Joe! If you got something to say to me how about you just say it!"
His jaw worked again as he shrugged his shoulder. "Ain't nothin' to say. You obviously have everything figured out," he retorted, his voice low and angry.
"For God's sake, you're acting like a child."
Joe rolled his eyes. "I suppose that's apropos, since you probably see me as one. Remind me, how far is the age gap again? Ten, twenty years?"
Pain stabbed her heart like a hot knife. "Joe-"
"I got an idea. How about you give Orton a call," he interrupted icily, "I know he still wants in your pants. He's old enough for you isn't he?"
At his biting words, her features crumpled in disbelief. Without meaning to, she burst out laughing, because it was the only way she could react to that ridiculous statement. "Are you serious? You're bringing Randy into this?"
Her laughter only served to incense the Samoan even more. "Glad to see you think this is funny," he sneered.
It wasn't. It was not funny at all and they both knew it. "Joe-"
"You know, you're so damn selfish," he spat out, fully turning his body to face her. The look of disgust on his face tainted his beauty. "The first sign of trouble and you're running! You seem to be very good at that, by the way. Do you even care about our relationship?"
Sasha was so shocked that for a second she couldn't breathe. A vice had closed around her lungs and was squeezing the life out of them. "I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that to me," she said slowly, her voice just as low and equally dangerous. "When you're done living in denial, give me a call." She threw the door open. "Asshole."
She pushed herself out of the car on wobbly legs. She felt faint but she remained resolute, managing to retrieve her luggage from the back seat. Joe didn't look at her once, his glare fixed stubbornly straight ahead, and Sasha found herself struggling not to break down, her balance growing more tenuous with every step towards her apartment building.
Behind her, she heard Joe drive away.
My heart hurt writing this. :(
Whose side are you on? Sasha's? Joe's? No one's? Do both of them have valid points or are they both in the wrong? Is this the part where the end starts? I'd like to hear all of it so kindly bring them in.
Got bored and created Into the Deep End banners. They're up on my profile page. Let me know what you think, if you'd like. :)
More updates to come soon. Thanks for everything, guys!