Chapter 29

"Thanks for saying that to Will. He's been carrying around a lot of guilt for months," said Dwight.

"I meant it. He saved my life."

"Yes he did. So did your wife."

Sam let out a deep breath. "Here we go."

"Listen to what I'm telling you. Mercedes is not this evil shrew you're making her out to be. Marrying her just might be the best decision you ever made."

"Why? Because she has medical training and knows CPR?"

"Because she got in the trenches with you and never left your side, even when you damn well deserved to be alone and miserable. That girl never gave up on you. Take heed. You don't find women like that everyday."

"I do appreciate her efforts and all the things she did to take care of me, don't get me wrong. I just don't feel all these things you claim I used to. There's nothing I can do about it. I have a child with Quinn, a woman I have cared about for years, that is real to me. This stuff with Mercedes seems like a work of fiction."

"Fiction is your focus on Quinn. You have her idealized in your mind. Trust me on this son, she'll never live up to your dreams."

There was just no winning with his father on the topic of Quinn. "That's for me to find out. Right now I need to put my family together. That is what I want most in this world."

"That's what you wanted most then too, before the accident. Only then your family was your wife, you wanted to make things right with Mercedes."

"Things have changed. I can't go back there. I don't know her."

Sam actually believed what his father was telling him. He could see himself feeling that way about Mercedes, wanting to hold their marriage together, but none of that mattered now. In this reality, Mercedes didn't mean much of anything to him, and all he could do was focus on the people that did. His family now was Quinn and Beth, even if that fact hurt Mercedes, Sam didn't have any way to change it, even if he wanted to.

"You're not even trying son. How do you know that you won't start feeling something, or even remembering her if you don't spend time with her? You fell in love with her before, maybe you can again."

"It's not going to work."

If Sam had the power to snap his fingers and change his heart, to just will things to change, he would have done it long before now. If love could just be willed in and out of existence, Sam would have saved himself years of heartbreak over Quinn.

"You are being resistant."

"I'm being realistic. I already know what I want."

Seventeen years old, his whole life ahead of him but if someone asked him back then where he saw himself in 20 years, his answer would have been no different than now. With Quinn. The only dream that ever stuck, the only version of the future that truly felt right, Sam had just been holding onto the hope that one day he would get a chance at that future. While in the Army, married to Brittany, even now when he had forgotten so much, he still held onto those hopes for Quinn. Whenever he felt like he had nothing, at least he always had that.

"Get your head out of the clouds son. Quinn held your hand and you woke up, big fucking deal. Mercedes was by your side day in and day out for months, she was even in the room the day you woke up too. Did you know that?"

"It doesn't matter."

He had a feeling Mercedes had been there when he was waking up, the same certainty that had clued him in to Quinn's presence that morning. It just didn't matter. Mercedes wasn't what he was looking for, not when he had opened his eyes, and still not now. Sam had been surprised by his initial pull toward Mercedes, and he even let himself give into it a bit, before he wised up. That never changed his greater desires though, the need that existed within him just as he needed to breathe, it all came back to Quinn. Sam was sure that once he saw her again, all the confusion, the doubts, the strange pull toward Mercedes would disappear. Quinn felt like the answer to everything, what he had been searching for since he opened his eyes a few weeks ago.

"I get this is hard for you Sam, and I know it must seem strange, but if you just give her a chance," Dwight urged.

This didn't seem like the father he knew. Dwight Evans never would push a relationship on him. His father always told him to beware of women, to run from commitments based on emotions, to never let his guard down. Yet here his father was trying to get him to feel something for Mercedes.

"Why are you pushing this so hard? You never gave a damn before about my love life."

"That's not true. I've always wanted your happiness."

"Fine way of showing it. All you did was criticize me and tear down everything I loved. Nice support there, dad." If Sam wasn't mistaken his father just winced. That couldn't be right, Dwight rarely showed chinks in his armor. Must be his still fuzzy vision playing tricks.

"You were making foolish choices, I couldn't let you pick the wrong path."

"You mean the path that you didn't choose for me. Did you handpick Mercedes for me? Was it an arranged marriage?"

Dwight snorted. "I thought Mercedes was a gold digging slut. I didn't want you to go near the girl. I told you to just sleep with her to get her out of your system and then move on."

"Seems I didn't take your advice," said Sam eyeing his dad. What had happened to make his father's opinion of Mercedes change? Was it just that she was his nurse?

"No you didn't, and good thing. She's the best thing that ever happened to you."

Sam couldn't believe it. He never thought he'd live to hear his father say something like that. Maybe he was softening in his old age.

"So you would say my judgment was right about Mercedes?"

"Yes I would." Dwight nodded in agreement.

"Well trust my judgment now. I know in my gut that I'm supposed to try again with Quinn. Beth is proof of that."

Beth is what made all of this more than a pipedream. If they hadn't had Beth maybe he could convince himself that he was just once again fantasizing about the impossible with Quinn. She didn't really want him, she hadn't in the past. Their child was the proof that his doubts might be unfounded. There was something between him and Quinn or else that baby would never have been conceived. Even if they were too wrapped up in their own problems then to see it, the universe had stepped in and forced them to look at what was before their eyes. They had a future waiting in the wings.

"Beth was conceived during a drunken one night stand when you were upset about your wife. You weren't in love with Quinn, you just needed an open hole," said his father hitting the table with his open palm.

"Keep talking like that about my daughter's mother and I'll make sure you never see her." Sam gripped the arms of his wheelchair tightly between his fingers, the metal making indentations in his skin.

"You're in no position to make threats son, especially when you are at such a disadvantage."

"Don't underestimate me because I'm in this chair," Sam said trying to keep a tight leash on his anger. He was a step away from exploding if his father said anything else about Quinn. "I'm a man of my word."

"I know you are. That's why I know in time you will be regretting your choices if you keep on this way about Quinn." Dwight seemed to deliberately lighten his tone, as if he sensed Sam's impending assault.

"Why would I regret making a home for my baby?" Sam relaxed, hoping to take this shift in the air as a chance to make his father see his side of things. "She needs her parents with her, to raise her."

"You're right, but her mother will never let that happen. She will destroy any chance at a happy home that girl has, just like she destroyed you, countless other men, and now herself. She's toxic."

"You're wrong and I'm going to prove it."

"How?" Dwight asked.

"We're going to make a good life for our daughter."

He didn't have much more of a plan than that, just an instinctive urge to build a home for his baby. He hadn't even talked to Quinn, perhaps he was being presumptuous about her own desires when it came to Beth. He had been wrong about Quinn before in high school, he had thought they were in sync in their feelings back then too, and she ended up with Puck. This time wouldn't turn out like that he could feel it. He was going to stop at nothing less than happily ever after, his little girl deserved it, and it was time he and Quinn grabbed it.

In the woods the night of the crash, nothing between them but the cold air and the starlit sky, they hinted at their dreams, whispered about a future too scary to admit out loud. Sam knew she had been there with him, her heart finally ready to accept what had been there since they were teens, it had been lurking above them that night, waiting for them to take hold of it. What had happened that they let it slip away? How had he awakened three years later with his heart pledged to someone else, while his fairytale lingered in his daughter's green eyes?

"Good luck with that. She's locked up for the foreseeable future."

"I think that should change."

"Insane people need supervision."

"She's not insane. She just needs to be around people that care."

"You certainly know a lot for man that has been in a coma for nine months. You need to learn the facts before you start taking on causes and defending lunatics."

Maybe his dad was right, he didn't know much, and he probably should wait for the facts before leaping. Sam was never one for wasting time, right now was always better than down the line, sooner better than later. Nine months gone, three years forgotten, he had to move forward now, nothing was guaranteed. He didn't want to wait and miss his chance for this life.

"I'm going to make up for all the time I lost with Beth. I'm going to be a good father." The father he always wished he could be while he was married to Brittany, only then he never was blessed with the opportunity. Beth was his chance, he'd be the dad he always wanted to be.

"I never doubted that for a moment Sam."

"First thing I'm doing for my child is bringing her mother home."

"I think the legal system would have something to say about that."

Sam shot his father a pointed look. "Oh I think the legal system will say anything we want, once you have another chat with that judge."

"You want me to help you free that bat shit crazy girl?" Dwight shook his head in disbelief. "Hell no Sam. She's finally where she belongs."

"Either you help me get Quinn out or I'll go to the police and tell them everything I know about the accident, how Mercedes took her hands off the wheel, how she was drinking before she drove that night." Sam stared his father down, proving his seriousness.

"Your brother made that all go away. There is no evidence," Dwight countered.

Sam shrugged. "Don't need much evidence in the court of public opinion. An eager young journalist would love a story like this."

"The scandal would wreck Will's career. I'll never let that happen. You try to speak out and I will suppress everything."

Sam felt a twinge of guilt. Things could get ugly for Will, but this was about family, hopefully his father would cooperate and things wouldn't get to that point.

"Nice try but I know there are ways to get around even your influence. One strategically dropped rumor and it will snowball. You will be powerless to stop it."

"You'd really sell out your own brother for that slut?"

"I'm doing what I have to for my daughter. She deserves to have a mother in her life."

"I agree with that. Beth does need a mother," Dwight said slowly as if he were mulling things over in his mind.

"How soon will you talk to the judge?"

"Just as soon as you go to Will and tell him that you are going to throw him under the bus because you want to be with Quinn."

Sam looked down. The idea of going to Will after all he'd done for him made Sam a little queasy. "I just told you it was about Beth."

"No it's not Sam. If this were about Beth you would be asking the question that you seem so keen on avoiding."

"What question?"

"Don't play dumb Sam. I know you didn't lose all your brain cells in that crash. It's the question you're dying to know the answer to but are afraid to ask."

Oh that. Sam again pushed it aside, as he had been doing for days. "I'm not afraid to ask. I already know, she tried to kill herself and they took Beth away."

"Maybe I was being too generous, clearly you did fry your brain."

"I'm going by what I've been told. If there is more to it, I don't know it." Truth be told he was a little nervous about knowing it. All of the new information had been bombarding him, most of it had been pretty bad, he wasn't sure he could take more.

"Oh there's more to it all right. That crazy bitch left your daughter in the cold and then jumped into the river."

Sam's heart constricted, an image of Beth floating in the river flashed through his mind. He physically shook himself from it.

"She took Beth with her?" Sam asked, his mouth suddenly dry.

"Luckily she had enough sense not to jump with her in her arms. Puck was right there when she took her swan dive, so he fished the slut out."

Sam breathed a sigh of relief. "So she wasn't in long?"

"Nope. Puck was coming out of one of our warehouses on the docks when he decided to play the hero."

"Thank God, they weren't in danger long." Quinn must have chosen to go by the D&E warehouse docks so she could be found. She must've known someone would see them.

"It depends on how you calculate time. A baby doesn't need long in the cold to be dead. Are you really willing to risk Will's career for a woman that would do that? I'm not."

"She was sick. I know you don't like her, but you must understand that."

Sam could see why his father was upset. Beth could've died. Sam was trying to hold on to the fact that the threat was low and Quinn left Beth where she could readily be found. She hadn't meant to hurt her. She was distraught not murderous.

"That's why she needs to stay where she is."

"Dad I can help Quinn. I know it. Just trust me please. For Beth." He grabbed his father's arm on top of the table, trying to will him to understand. He needed to do this for them. He had to get Quinn back home.

"I love my granddaughter." Dwight sighed. "I would do anything for her."

"So do this," Sam implored.

"I think you're making a big mistake." Dwight quickly rubbed Sam's hand on his arm before moving away. "Quinn is just not what you or Beth needs."

"She's her mother."

"Biology doesn't make a mother. Quinn has never been a mother to that girl."

"She just needs a chance. She'll get healthy and get her life straight. She just needs time to readjust."

He could see his father wavering. Hope started to build that his father actually was going to help.

"Here's how it will go. I'll let your little loony bird free on one condition."

"Which is?"

"You give yourself time to adjust."

Sam narrowed his eyes at the old man. He was up to something. "What's that mean?"

"That means Quinn can get out of the hospital and come back to Lima, but in exchange you have to agree to stay married to your wife. I mean really married, no faking it, no going through the motions, I want you to take the time and give your marriage a shot, for a period of nine months and Mercedes must never find out about this little deal we made."

He pushed back from the table, rolling away from his father. "This is crazy, you know that? You can't force me to be with someone I don't want to be with."

"Take it or leave it. It's the only way you'll get Quinn out, because I will never ever let you hurt Will for her."

Sam wanted to break something. This is not how he had wanted things to go. He put his hands on his head pulling the spiky strands of his hair in frustration. "I don't want to hurt Will either. I just couldn't think of anything else to hold over you."

"I can see how much this means to you, rebuilding your family, and I respect that. I just think you're looking in the wrong direction. I don't want you to wake up one day, with your memory back and have regrets about your choices."

"I know this is the right decision dad. Quinn and I need to make a life for Beth." Even if his memory returned tomorrow, Sam was sure he would still feel the same.

"You will get your shot, if you agree to my terms."

Staring down at his lap, slowly shaking his head at the sheer insanity of this situation, Sam tried to find a silver lining to this dark cloud over his head. "How am I supposed to make things work with Quinn while I'm married to another woman?"

"I thought this was about Beth not Quinn. Being married shouldn't prevent you from helping her mother get back on track. Unless you were misleading me and you were thinking about something more with that woman."

"It's about Beth. She's my first priority," said Sam.

Dwight stood and walked over to Sam, extending his hand. "Good. So we have a deal?"

Sam stared at that hand, his head flooding with thoughts. It felt like the devil himself was asking for his soul. Was he really willing to sacrifice his freedom for Quinn's?