Thanks for reading and commenting.

Chapter 32

"Marcel it doesn't make sense. You let the barber cut my hair, but you wouldn't let him touch my beard. Have you seen my face?"

"Very handsome sir," said Marcel expressionlessly.

"It is not handsome. I look like Fidel Castro." Wooly beard, a gray t-shirt, and navy sweat pants, Sam hadn't felt this unkempt since he was in the Army on a mission.

"Non, you look better than him. See." He held the mirror up to Sam's face. "Your hair looks magnificent."

Sam ran a hand over his short dark blond locks. The barber had shaped it up all over, evened out all the stray ends. It was shorter than he liked to wear it, but he had to admit it looked pretty good. "The beard has to go," said Sam pushing the mirror away.

"I called Mrs. Evans but she was not there," said Marcel pulling his cell phone out of his pocket and checking for messages.

"Give me that phone. I'll make her pick up." Sam grabbed for the phone but Marcel moved it away from his reach, clutching it to his chest. Marcel was tall and easily evaded Sam's attempts at taking the phone.

"Non. You have not been cleared for the phone."

"Yes I have," said Sam reaching again. "I just can't use the internet yet or watch live TV."

Not that there had been an official rule list supplied by his team of doctors, just a thirty minute lecture cautioning him on taking on too much too soon. They didn't want his senses overloaded with too much new information at once, at least not until he was deemed fit by his therapist. Sam had laughed to himself when he heard that. Little did his doctors know that his therapist probably was less mentally fit than he was. Sam had yet to meet a member of the Lopez family that wasn't cracked. He suspected Kalina Hill, was no different than the rest of her damaged lot.

Marcel shook his bald head as he resumed cleaning up the supplies from the barber's visit. "I must confirm with Mrs. Evans."

"Damn it Marcel." Sam clenched his jaw, trying to keep his temper in check. "You work for me."

Marcel pulled a folded square of paper from the chest pocket of his green scrubs. "Actually sir…"

Sam snatched the paper from Marcel's hands ripping it into shreds and tossing the pieces into the air. "Here's what you can do with my wife's little list of rules."

"It's okay sir. I have copies," said Marcel in the same flat tone he always used, unfazed by Sam's outburst.

Sam grunted in annoyance, wheeling himself to the window so he wouldn't have to look at that infuriating Belgian again.

"You really must try to control your temper dear. You will make Beth think it is okay to have tantrums."

Sam looked over to the doorway where his mother had appeared with Beth in her arms. His daughter was smiling and gurgling head to toe in red footed pajamas as she tried to grab for one of his mother's dangling earrings. Sue kept leaning back so the baby wouldn't pull it.

"Marcel, the kitchen staff was asking some questions about Sam's diet. Can you go help them?" asked Sue barely glancing at the man.

"Oui, madam," said Marcel with a nod of his head.

Sue handed Beth to Sam. "I thought you might like to do the honors," she said holding up a bottle.

"What do you say little girl?" asked Sam as he looked into his daughter's face. "Do you want to have dinner with your dad?"

Beth reached up and touched Sam's lips as he spoke. When the bottle appeared in front of the baby's face, she opened her mouth, ready for the meal to come. "Looks like she's hungry," noted Sam as he put the bottle in Beth's mouth.

"You're getting good at this. I thought you might be rusty handling a baby since it's been a while for you."

"What do you mean? I just was doing this with Mike's baby Maria…" Sam stopped himself realizing the error of what he had just said. "I guess it has been longer than I think."

"Yeah," Sue said softly. "Looks like you have it all under control though, you always were good with kids."

"I kind of thought Mercedes would be bringing her over." He glanced over at his mother. She was messing with her hair in his dresser mirror.

"Did you want her to come?" asked Sue still focused on her reflection.

"Not really, well, I did want to talk to her about her stupid rules." He needed to get a few things straight with his wife once and for all. Mercedes didn't call the shots in his life anymore.

"Ah, well she's not feeling well."

His mom was dressed simply, jeans, brown turtleneck, cream leather blazer on top, her usual layers of chains absent. Sam guessed Beth had yanked one too many the past couple weeks.

"Still? She's been sick for days."

Sam hadn't seen Mercedes since she was sedated in the bed across from him at the hospital. After he returned from visiting with his father, Marcel had helped him settle in for the evening, served him his pastel colored mush, and then promptly left him alone to get some sleep. Mercedes had slept through it all. For a brief moment he wondered if she had been given too much of whatever drug she was on, and they had knocked her out permanently, but then she had yawned and rolled over, turning her back to him, never fully waking up. Sleep came so much easier for him once he didn't have the option of staring into her face. He got some much needed rest after he pushed all thoughts of his father's deal to the back of his mind. The next morning he woke up refreshed and completely alone. Mercedes and her bed were removed from the room. He hadn't seen her since.

Sue sighed. "She's been dealing with a lot."

"I've been in a coma for months yet I am still up and about, well as much as I can be. She fainted and is confined to her bed?"

It had been good to finally get out of the hospital, cold air hitting him in the face. He felt truly back among the living. Now that he was home he avoided the bed for as long as he could each day, feeling like if he didn't get out and move about, even if it was in a wheelchair, that somehow the coma would come back and reclaim him. Sam knew he had cheated death, beat unbelievable odds to make it back to consciousness. It almost felt like a test to see if he were truly worthy of this gift, this second chance at life. If he squandered the time it all would be yanked away. Sam couldn't let that happen, he had too much to live for. He looked down at his baby in his arms, sipping away at her bottle, her little hand curling around Sam's larger one. Beth was the reason taking it slow was not an option.

"Don't be so insensitive. You know more is wrong with her than that." Sue sat down on his bed, careful not to rumple his navy blue bedspread. "I get you're upset but at least acknowledge all she has been through."

"Please excuse me if I'm not broken up over this. My head injury must be preventing me from mustering adequate sympathetic reactions."

He just couldn't quite let it go, even after hearing all she had done to save him the night of the accident. There was something blocking him from just forgiving her completely. Intellectually he understood it all was an accident, she had been stupid, but not malicious. However, emotionally, Sam felt hurt, a person that claimed to love him had hurt him, badly. It was hard to get past.

"You are so much like your father sometimes Sam."

"Thank you." Sam grumbled turning his attention back to his daughter.

"I heard that you've been practicing walking in therapy."

Therapy had been intense and grueling, his sessions now longer since he left the hospital. Sam had made it clear to all the physical therapists on his payroll that he had to be walking in less than a month. He would accept nothing less. They had argued that it couldn't be done, that his body wasn't strong enough after so many months of disuse, but Sam wouldn't hear of it. He wasn't going to go see Quinn in a wheelchair. He was going to walk up to her, fully recovered and strong. He didn't want her to see him so feeble and helpless. Sam had to show Quinn that he was capable of taking care of her and Beth.

"Yep I have. Once I get a little more leg strength I will be back in business." He shifted Beth to his shoulder, gently stroking her back.

"It's so good to see you getting strong and healthy." Sue took the empty bottle from Sam's hand, placing it on the nightstand beside her.

There had been a photo of him with Mercedes on that nightstand. They were both smiling, arms around each other, casually dressed. She had on her engagement ring but no wedding band, so Sam suspected this was taken at some point before they were married. Strange seeing himself looking so happy in a photo, but having no recollection of the woman that had made him feel that way. He had quickly opened the nightstand drawer and shoved the framed picture inside, unable to look at this other version of himself any longer. The drawer was so jam packed with papers and junk that the frame would barely fit. It was then Sam remembered that drawer had a false bottom, hiding a small personal safe beneath it. He pulled out all the stuff in the drawer to reveal his safe. The combination was just as he recalled, and he quickly opened it to see its contents. Not much inside, a few small jewelry boxes, some legal documents, a photo of the twins Stevie and Stacy, another of him and Maria when she was just a baby, a few thousand in cash.

Sam had immediately picked up the dark blue velvet box, knowing what he would find inside, Brittany's rings along with his own. He remembered putting these in the safe after their divorce was final, unable to just discard the jeweled mementos of their brief time in love. The other boxes had been a mystery. He opened the red velvet one first, a large princess cut engagement ring sat inside. He wondered who he had given that to, and more importantly why she had given it back. The other box was a bit larger, black leather, he had opened it slowly almost fearing it was another engagement ring that probably had been tossed back in his face, instead he found a locket, heart shaped, platinum, covered in stones. He opened it with trembling hands, as if its contents would unlock the secrets of the universe. It had been empty, no photo inside, simply an engraving written in Navi, the fictitious language from the movie Avatar that he was secretly obsessed with. "Forever yours" was the inscription. Who had he bought that for?

Just when he had been about to close the safe and throw everything back in his drawer, he saw it, simple gold with a small emerald on top. It was the promise ring he had bought for Quinn senior year. Sam had saved up all his birthday money, his monthly allotment of cash he received from his father, and he had even sold a few baseball cards from his collection to buy it. He could have just asked his father for the money, but Sam really wanted to do it on his own. This was about him and Quinn, no one else. So after he had accumulated enough money, he went to the mall and picked out the gold ring, with a green stone that matched her eyes. A thousand dollars wasted. He never did get a chance to give her that ring, Puck had swooped in and stolen Quinn's heart right from Sam. No need to make promises to a heart that didn't want him anymore. The ring landed in the safe where all his broken dreams were kept locked away, the pain lessened when they were hidden from view. Sam had rescued that ring from its leaden tomb and put it behind the lamp on his bedside table, out of view, but he knew it was there, a symbol of the promises he was going to make to Quinn, promises he planned to keep.

"Now if only I could eat something more than strained peas and yogurt, I could really get back in shape." He eyed the nightstand once more, just to make sure his mom hadn't disturbed that ring he tucked behind the lamp.

"Take it slow. You'll get there. Just try to recuperate naturally. No reason to rush."

"I need to be up and on my feet by next week."

"What's happening next week?" asked Sue.

Sam hesitated, debating whether to get into this with his mother, he knew the conversation was going to head downhill fast. "Quinn's getting out of the hospital."

"She is? That's news to me. Far as I heard she was there for an extended stay."

"Things have changed."

He hadn't exactly accepted his father's offer, he wanted to see if a few of his own tricks would pan out first. There had to be a way to get what he wanted without having to stay married. Of course, being confined to a wheelchair and not being allowed access to the phone or computer made things difficult. Figgins had been his legs and his mouthpiece since he had been back home, even before then. It was Figgins that Sam had called when he wanted those flowers sent to Quinn for Valentine's Day. Figgins was the one person he knew wouldn't betray his trust.

Since he was a child, Figgins always had his back. Figgins never told his father about that time he broke an antique vase with his whiffle ball bat. Figgins just looked at the mess and came up with a solution, that time it was crazy glue. The next time it was a quick trip to the auto body shop when Sam put a ding in his father's Rolls Royce, when he had snuck it out for a test drive when he was 14. When Sam had failed his unit test on fractions in the fourth grade, Figgins had forged his father's signature to spare him from a lecture about applying himself. Not that Figgins was a pushover. The man had made Sam help glue together that vase, wash all the cars in the garage after that joy ride, and he sat Sam at the counter in the kitchen and tutored him in fractions until he understood it all. So when Sam felt like he had no options to counter his father's deal, naturally he called on Figgins to help him implement his plan. A few calls to the Lima municipal courthouse and finally Sam got a meeting with Judge Leary. Next week, Quinn would be free one way or another.

"Did you by any chance change them?" Sue leaned forward, elbows on her knees, head in her hands, interested.

"I wasn't going to let her stay up there by herself mom. She needs to be with Beth and me, so she can get better." Beth squirmed on Sam's shoulder, getting comfortable as she tried to fight sleep.

"She's not allowed to be around Beth, and you're married. So how's this all going to work?"

"I will figure something out. I just need her home, so I'm going up to get her next week."

"Got your white horse all saddled up?"

"Mock me all you want Mom, but I'm going to put this family back together."

Sue ran her hands through her layered blond hair. "I told myself I would stay out of this, no meddling in your affairs."

"Now that's a new one. I thought meddling was your middle name."

"I just don't like to see my children get hurt. And baby I can see a world of hurt coming for you."

"I appreciate your concern, but I know what I'm doing."

"Did you happen to tell your wife that you're bringing your mistress home?"

"Quinn's not my mistress."

It was hard for Sam to fathom that Quinn actually had been the other woman in his life. She had always been first choice for him in his heart. He couldn't believe that somehow in the past three years that had shifted and she was relegated to mistress status.

"Sorry I meant the slut you knocked up and destroyed your life. Is that better?"

"Mother," Sam warned. "I thought you agreed to stop talking about Quinn especially in front of Beth."

"Sorry I've got to get used to biting my tongue. The question still stands though, did you tell your wife?"

Sam hadn't talked to Mercedes in weeks, if he had he wouldn't be stuck with a dead animal on his face. So much for her dedication to her supposed favorite patient. Mercedes hadn't even checked up on him at all.

"How could I? She's been confined to her bed."

"I get it." Sue threw him a knowing look. "You're worried how she'll take it, so you're stalling."

"I am not. I just haven't seen her."

"Once you get back on your feet. I think you have a stop to make before you rush off upstate. You better tell Mercedes what's going on."

Sam didn't like the sound of that at all. The last thing he wanted to do was go another round with Mercedes and her histrionics.

"I've got an idea, since you see Mercedes all the time. Why don't you tell her for me?" Sounded great to him, problem solved. Sue seemed so enamored by Mercedes she could deal with her.

"I'm not doing your dirty work sweetie. You are going to have to look your wife in the eyes and tell her you're bringing Quinn back."

Sam shrugged hoping he seemed more nonchalant than he actually felt. "It's not a big deal, just thought it would be more convenient if you told her. It's not like I care how she feels about it anyway. It is happening regardless. Her feelings are of no concern to me."

If he had his way Mercedes wouldn't be a factor in his life at all. He would have divorced her and moved on with his plan to have a family with Quinn. Mercedes was just a slight wrinkle in his map of the future. Once she was out of his life everything would be perfect. Now his father and his shady little deal threatened all of his plans, forcing Sam to deal with Mercedes for longer than he wanted. His father was so off the mark about all of this. Being stuck with Mercedes for nine months wouldn't change his feelings about Quinn or the life he wanted. If anything it would only just prolong Mercedes's agony, making her hopeful for a relationship that no longer existed. So if his dad thought he was punishing him he was so wrong. Mercedes would be the one to pay the price.

"Did you sleep with her?"

"With who?" Sam raised one eyebrow. He couldn't believe his mom was actually going to go there with him.

"With Mercedes? Something happened it's written all over your face," said Sue.

Completely weak, chained to the bed by tubes, pumped full of drugs, yeah he really was all set to get it on. His body just wasn't capable, his mind, that was a whole different story. That morning with her, the sunrise lighting up the room, his mind was ready to go places with her that his body couldn't handle. Sam had partaken in a few one night stands in his life, all before his leg injury of course, but that wasn't his normal style. He liked sex to be about more than the physical, he liked to connect with his partner on all levels. If he had been stronger, Sam knew he would have slept with Mercedes that night. They both were so completely in the moment it would have happened. Thankfully things didn't go that far, it would have made his hopes for a relationship with Quinn all the more complicated.

Although in actuality things were pretty complex already. Finding out he was married to Mercedes had been a shock, but the fact he was married to a woman he didn't know was not a hindrance to a future with Quinn. The problem was his attraction to his nurse, who coincidentally turned out to be his wife. The attraction clearly was nothing, just a hormonal byproduct of being in a coma for months, he probably would have found any woman attractive. Yet there was that little matter of feeling connected to her, of feeling like she was supposed to be around, like she was his somehow, but Sam chalked that up to all the time they had spent together. He had come to rely on her, so naturally he felt a closeness to her.

Now that he hadn't seen her in days all of that connection was starting to fade, he barely thought of her anymore, well far less than he used to. The little voice in the back of his mind that was concerned she hadn't come to see him, was always quickly overshadowed by the logical part of his brain, the part of him that just didn't care about her at all. Caring about Mercedes was not part of the plan.

"Something did happen. I found out she was keeping things from me."

His mother persisted. "You're not still upset about that. I can tell. It's something else."

"Just drop it mother."

"I know you're attracted to her Sam. I could see that even in the hospital."

"Mom please…"

"Seems to me being attracted to your wife is a good thing."

"I don't feel anything for her."

He knew his mom was skeptical, that she didn't believe all of his denials about his feelings for Mercedes. She was right not to be convinced, because he was lying. He had been lying to himself, to his family, to anyone that would listen about Mercedes since the day he found out she was his wife. There was a connection, he had felt it before he knew who she was, and it had yet to fade. Sam knew there was something between them, something that had meant a great deal to him before, but never would again.

He had tried to explain it all to Mercedes that night in the hospital, after he had come back from visiting his father, and she was still passed out. He thought back to that night, her hair fanned out like a halo, her brown skin so radiant it almost glowed in the low light of the room. He had insisted Marcel leave him alone for a bit, before helping him back to bed, and surprisingly the Belgian had obliged him. So Sam had sat in his wheelchair, at her bedside, making peace with her in a way, feeling braver with his words since she was fast asleep.

"Will told me a story today about a couple trapped in a car, and even though they were broken up, they still loved each other. I know he was talking about us, but it doesn't feel real. I can't imagine any of this happening to me. Will said you tended to my wounds and refused to leave my side, even as the car continued to slip down the embankment. He explained about how the rescue went so wrong and I fell from the car and you were right there with me performing CPR until the paramedics arrived to take over. He said you never quit, you never let fear overwhelm you. You just wouldn't give up on me. I'm not sure how I can thank you for that. Words don't seem like enough. We must have had something really special for you to go through all of that for me.

Will tried to explain to me how it went both ways, and that we loved each other so much. I wish I could understand the feelings behind what he told me. I wish I could look at you and see a person I loved enough to do anything for. My last request to Will was about you, to protect you, to keep you out of jail if it came to that, and I know I would have done that without hesitation for a woman I loved, for my family, for my wife."

He touched her hair, letting the wavy strands fall through his fingers.

"And you are my wife, I know that now. I'm not going to deny that anymore. Too much evidence proves we were a couple. Actually seems like we might have had something pretty amazing, in that other life. We must have been a hell of a team. I'm so sorry I can't remember it. I know it hurts you that I don't, especially after waiting for me for so long. If there were any way to make this better for you, I would, I owe you that much, for all you've done to save my life. It's just that things are so different now. I can't change what my heart is telling me, and my heart is telling me that Quinn is the one I'm supposed to be with. We have Beth and it just feels like she should be my wife. She should be my family. I know that I didn't feel that way before the accident, I get that, I really do. Knowing that, doesn't change how I feel though. I need to be with my family, I need to put us back together, help Quinn heal, get to know my daughter. My focus has to be them. And as for us." He paused looking down at her sleeping face. "Well there is no us. I can't go backwards and try to recapture a memory, when my present is right here in my face, and needing my full attention. No matter how much I might want to explore some of these things I feel toward you, I can't be selfish, Quinn and Beth need me. But if things were different and I didn't have them in my life…" He sighed. "I'm sorry."

A part of him had feared maybe she had actually been awake and heard his little confession, and that was the real reason she had avoided him ever since. If she had heard him that night, maybe it was for the best, maybe it would help her understand the choices he had to make.

"I know you wish that were true. It'd be a whole lot easier to live in your delusions about Quinn."

"I'm not delusional about Quinn. We care about each other."

"You're banking on memories from three years ago. How do you know she feels the same now? A lot has happened. You don't know about it."

"Quinn and I are forever."

Hopefully that forever hadn't been lost over the past few years. Sam had to hold on to the belief that Quinn was feeling the same thing he was. There was no basis in reality for it, he would have to talk to her to get solid proof, but his heart was telling him that this was their chance. This was the start of their forever.

"I see. Interesting."

"What?"

"The last time you and I had a talk like this was before your accident. Your affair with Quinn had come out. And I asked you how you felt about Quinn. And you know what you told me?"

Sam rolled his eyes, not wanting to hear his mother's latest attack on Quinn. "Just tell me, mom. What did I say?"

"You said you and Quinn were done, that you didn't have feelings like that for her anymore. You didn't think of her in those terms."

"I was trying to save my marriage, of course I said that. You think I'd admit I had a thing for the woman I cheated with?"

He wouldn't have been that forthcoming with his mother about Quinn any way, knowing how much she hated her. After talking to Will, he did realize that he must have loved Mercedes back then, all his actions the night of the accident were proof of that. Still he couldn't imagine being completely over Quinn. It just didn't seem possible.

Sue walked over to Sam, softly stroking the baby's pale hair. "Maybe you're right. Maybe you were lying to me, lying to yourself. I don't know. I just want you to think baby. Figure it all out before you fall."

"It might be too late for that. I know you don't want to hear it, but Quinn means a lot to me." He hugged Beth a little closer against his chest, all his feelings for Quinn and their child flowing in that hug.

"I can see that. So why did you let something happen between you and Mercedes?" asked Sue quietly.

"I didn't let anything happen." Sam shook his head, his mother could never understand, especially since he barely did himself. "It just did, we had this connection and things just…" He trailed off.

"Oh go on honey," said Sue settling back in Sam's bed, getting more comfortable.

Sam frowned as he realized he had said too much. His mom didn't need any more ammunition in her theories about his supposed interest in Mercedes.

"Can you take Beth? She's fallen asleep." Sam looked at his daughter on his shoulder, her fist balled by her mouth, her little cheeks puffing in and out as she slept.

Sue stood up, straightening out her clothes. "Sure. I'm going to put her in her room down the hall." She eased the sleeping baby from his arms. "I love you Sam," said Sue as she kissed Sam on the forehead. "Even if you are a damn fool."

"Thanks mom. Real touching."

She patted him on the shoulder before turning to leave the room with Beth.

Sam rolled closer to the window to peer out at the grounds. The sky was melting into a rich orange, as the sun set behind the Lima skyline in the distance. Just one more weekend and he would be with Quinn. He was both excited and unnerved by the idea of finally coming face to face with Quinn again. Ever since he had come out of his coma it was all he could think about, seeing her beautiful face, hearing her voice, just being near her. They had spent years apart, busy living their separate lives, but never had he missed her the way he did now. Maybe it was because a part of him still felt like they just survived an ordeal, a crash that had almost claimed their lives. It still felt like it happened just the other day to Sam, like he had left her behind at the crash site. She didn't seem quite real yet. He had to make sure she was truly safe with his own eyes.

Then there was the other thing, the little matter of her current situation. Being stuck hours away at a mental hospital didn't seem like the right environment for Quinn. Even if she were getting necessary treatment, she needed to be getting it here, in Lima. The mother of his child shouldn't be isolated in some far off place. She needed to be home, with him. His father had offered him that way out, an ironclad way to set Quinn free and bring her back home. Sam knew his father had been shocked that he hadn't jumped at the deal, his request for time to think it over, threw the old man for a loop. He guessed his dad thought he was a complete goner for Quinn, willing to do anything to get her back. And he was, pretty much, just this particular 'anything' had a whole lot of 'something' hanging in the balance.

Selfishness wasn't the reason for his reluctance, not entirely. Granted the idea of being forced to stay married to a woman he didn't know for nine months was less than appealing, but his hesitancy wasn't about him. It was about Quinn and Mercedes too. Sam imagined going to the hospital, saving Quinn from her veritable prison, pulling her into his arms, their hearts racing. He wanted this to be the first step toward a future together, the beginning of the rest of their lives.

All of this was hypothetical however, he really didn't know for sure if Quinn would be right there with him emotionally. Yet if he took his father up on his offer, agreed to that deal, then Sam had no right to take any steps anywhere with Quinn. The rest of his life wouldn't be able to begin until he served his sentence with Mercedes. How could he ask Quinn to plan a future with him when he wasn't even free?

And then there was Mercedes, she saved his life, and nursed him back to health for almost a year. How could he use a woman that had done so much for him? How could he blatantly disregard her feelings just so that he could bring Quinn home?