Anyone like Quick? I love them.

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Chapter 33

"I can take over from here. Please leave me and Ms. Fabray alone," said Puck as he re-entered the room in black dress pants and a burgundy shirt, no tie, sleeves rolled up to the elbows. Quinn noticed that Puck stood up taller and poked his chest out whenever he wanted to exude authority. It was cute.

The male aide reluctantly left the room, shooting a warning glance back at Quinn.

"I think he wanted to chain me to the table," said Quinn touching her sore jaw gently. The woman, Simone, managed to get in one good hit to the side of Quinn's face.

"He probably feared for his life. You were something out there." Puck took a seat beside Quinn on top of the table. "I expected to see hair pulling, some scratching, but you were out there bobbing and weaving like a prize fighter. You got moves girl." He leaned into Quinn, bumping her shoulder.

"Well you know they say it is cut throat in the music biz, a woman has to know how to defend herself," she tried to laugh, but the pain her jaw made her wince instead.

She had never actually gotten into any physical altercations while working in the industry. Singers could be brutal, but Quinn had managed not to ruffle many feathers. Years of practice blending in and keeping a low profile while in group homes helped her in that area. Just as it had helped tonight. Quinn had been good at staying out of trouble as a kid, keeping to herself mainly, but there were times when her patience had been tested. She learned quickly that punches were more effective than slaps, and that being quick can be just as handy as being strong.

"Here," said Puck. He handed her a little red plastic cup. "Put this on your jaw slugger."

"Jello?" asked Quinn looking at him curiously.

"All I could get my hands on without going to the nurse's office."

"So you stole someone's dessert?"

"I didn't steal it." He took the cup from her and pressed it against her sore jaw, holding it there. "She let me have it. I think she might like me."

She, must have been Ms. Augustino, the seventy year old woman that dealt with all of their meals.

"I think you might be a bit young for her. She's pushing seventy-five," said Quinn as she took over hold the Jell-O cup to her face.

"And older women can't have good taste?" asked Puck.

Quinn could tell he was struggling to keep a straight face, crinkles kept appearing around his hazel eyes.

Quinn laughed, a pain shooting through her face as she did. "I guess I should thank you for coming to my rescue. I think those aides were just going to let us fight."

"They were pretty ineffectual. I will have to report them." Puck pulled another cup of Jell-O out of his pants pocket along with a spoon. He opened up the cup and dug in.

"No don't. I don't need any waves made because of me. Things are bad enough as it is."

"So what happened?" he asked between spoonfuls of Jell-O. "I doubt that was a scheduled kickboxing activity."

"Just some patient mouthing off. Nothing I can't handle."

Usually she let the comments slide. Quinn was used to all the talk from other patients, from staff, from the media. This time had been different, maybe she was having an off day, or maybe it was the effects of the full moon, but the words got to her for some reason. Simone was a well known bully on the floor. She picked on smaller patients, stole from them, basically made their lives a worse version of the hell it already was. She had pretty much left Quinn alone though, just a few snide comments from across their lounge area.

Tonight was different. Simone just wouldn't let it drop. Comment after comment yelled across the room. Quinn had ignored the woman as usual, keeping her focus on her People magazine, but Iley had reacted, jumping up and making a beeline across the room to confront the woman. Iley was no match for Simone. While Iley had the spirit of a 300lb 6'5" man, she didn't have the stature to back it up, standing at about 5'2", she would've been pummeled. So Quinn had no choice but to help Iley out.

"I know you can handle yourself. You've got me convinced. I thought for sure that bigger woman was going to give you a black eye, but when you ducked and her fist hit the wall." He shook his head and smiled at Quinn, his eyes roaming her face. "I was really impressed. Tough girls are sexy."

She didn't feel tough. Her mouth hurt, her arms ached, and she could feel her knuckles starting to swell. Quinn may have held her own in that fight with Simone, but she was paying for that small victory now. If only she had just let it go, dragged Iley back to the room and never reacted. That had been her initial plan, but then Simone had taken it too far. Quinn could deal with the comments about her questionable sexual ethics, she had been called a slut and a whore more times than she could count. She now was even immune to the crazy taunts, attacks on her sanity didn't mean much coming from a fellow patient anyway. Pot meet kettle. But this time Simone didn't stop there, she had to bring up Beth, calling her a bastard that she had thrown out like the trash. So Quinn had pushed Iley aside and stepped up to the almost six foot tall thickly built woman and dared her to utter another word. Simone took Quinn's dare to the extreme, calling Quinn a 'baby killer', repeatedly in an irritating sing song voice. So Quinn had hit the woman in the nose, one clean shot, dead center, Simone never saw it coming. Then all hell broke out as they fell to the floor, fists full of hair, flying punches, and angry screams. The other patients stood around them, blocking them from view, no one intervened, until Quinn felt herself being lifted from the floor. She looked up to find herself enclosed in Puck's arms. He always managed to reel her in and hold her back, even when she least expected it.

Quinn laughed, this time enduring the accompanying pain. "Are you done having your mud wrestling fantasy over there? I can just see you imagining us in bikinis."

"Bikinis, now that would have been nice." Puck grinned.

Quinn gave him a warning look. Hopefully he would get the hint and get back on track.

"Puck. Time to get serious. Where's Artie? I expected him to be here hours ago."

"It's not that late, only about 7. Traffic was heavy, I got a late start, and then I had to hit the drive…"

"Puck," Quinn interrupted. "Can you just tell me?"

"Sorry." He smiled sheepishly. "I guess I am going off tangent a bit."

"Just a bit."

"Catfights breaking out before my eyes tend to make me lose focus." He pulled out his iphone from his pocket and tried to regain his composure. "Artie got held up with another case, so he asked me to come. I suppose you want to know if he spoke to Sam."

"Did he?" asked Quinn eagerly. She had been trying not to fixate on Sam but it was hard knowing that he could be the one to save her from this place.

"He did. Apparently they had a nice long chat."

"And?" He was dragging it out and driving Quinn nuts.

"And you were right. He seems like he will be the one to help you."

"Really? He said that? He said he would help?" Quinn smiled.

"It seems he did. Artie said he was very adamant about doing whatever it took to get you out of this place."

Quinn stood up, smiling, discarding the Jell-O cup on the table. "I knew he wouldn't let me down." The only constant in her life, the best friend she probably would ever have, and it took almost losing her mind to realize it. "Tell me everything," she said excitedly grabbing Puck's arm.

"Not all that much to tell actually. It wasn't like he gave me details or a plan of attack. Artie just said that Sam would handle it. I just hope he can pull it off, I don't want to falsely raise your hopes."

"Oh Sam will do what he says. He is an Evans just like you, he gets things done. He's a man of his word." Quinn tried to reassure him, she could tell Puck still had some doubts this wouldn't pan out. She couldn't blame him, not after what Dwight had done the last time, getting the judge to overturn his decision.

"Oh yeah, that Evans code of ethics," he said with a roll of his eyes, the sarcasm clinging to every word. "Where was his moral code when he was screwing my fiance?"

"Puck maybe I shouldn't be talking about this with you."

"That's where you're wrong. I'm exactly the one you should be talking about this to. How could you go to Sam? I told you last time I was here, and so many times before that, I could help you. I'm here for you."

"I didn't think you would want to be involved. I mean I hurt you so much," said Quinn bowing her head.

Never would Quinn have thought that meeting Dr. Julian Jones at the Malcolb Group Home for routine physical day would have such a profound impact on her life. Dr. Jones has been kind, remembering her name and asking her to be his assistant as he worked with the kids at the home that day. From the shadows he pulled her, noticing her even as she tried her best to blend with the walls. Glasses, dark oversized clothes, and dingy blond hair as her mom liked to call it, made Quinn practically invisible, but Julian Jones had somehow seen her. So a few weeks later after some serious internet investigation Quinn had looked up the doctor and found where he lived.

Showing up on his doorstep without a valid reason and not even a plan, knocking loudly with forced bravado, she waited for the door to open and lead her toward something better. Exactly what she didn't know, but after being pulled from the shadows and acknowledged it was hard to just shrink back into obscurity. Dr. Jones wasn't home that day, so Quinn had sat on his front step and waiting, as the sun sank down behind the clouds and darkness consumed the neighborhood. Eventually she had fallen asleep, her head tucked into the crook of her elbow as she leaned against the hard cement step.

A tap on her shoulder made her spring to wake, startling herself and the hazel eyed boy standing in front of her.

"I need to see Dr. J," was all she said as the boy watched her expectantly from his position on the side walk.

"Well come on," he said pushing by her to unlock the door. "He's still at work, but you can't stay out here bad things happen to pretty girls after dark."

Quinn's heart sank. "But I'm not pretty."

"Who says?" Puck asked over his shoulder.

Quinn shrugged not feeling in the mood to put the established consensus of her unattractiveness into words.

"So are you coming?" Puck asked holding the door open for her.

After that night, the door to Julian's house had always been open to her. Until she screwed things up.

"I just told you I want to be," he said grabbing her face in his hands. "Why can't you understand how much I care about you? It's always been you and me."

She shook herself out of his hold, her cheeks still warm even after his hands were gone. "Not this time. I screwed up so bad Puck. I've hurt everyone. How could you even want…"

"Stop this," he said grabbing her hand and pulling her back toward him. "Since you were just a shy girl with braces and tangles in your hair, it's been you and me."

"I was such a mess back then, I'm still a mess now."

"You were beautiful. You just couldn't see it, but I always could."

Puck was always so blind. "I was funny looking and fat, and you pitied me."

"You were always beautiful to me, even when you shouldn't have been. I used to tease Sam about falling for Mercedes because she's so much younger, but who am I to talk really? I had my own heart stolen by a younger woman."

"It's not even five years. Four and a measly fraction."

He laughed, the corner of his eyes crinkling. "I remember how you use to tell me all about that fraction, whenever I insisted we couldn't get involved."

"We were always involved Puck. You were just in deep denial," Quinn smiled remembering how hard Puck fought their attraction until she was legal. They almost made it too, almost, but seventeen was close enough. Right?

"Little Q I didn't expect to see you today," said Puck glancing up from the textbooks spread out on his desk.

Quinn flopped on his bed making herself comfortable as she had so many times before. "Don't call me little Q. You know I hate that. Besides I'm 5'6, not little at all."

"That pretty small to me," Puck replied. "but I wasn't referring to your height. I call you little because of your age."

Quinn exhaled audibly. "Not that again. I'm in high school now. I'm not a little girl."

"Only little girls, say things like I'm not a little girl."

"I can't stand you," she said turning her nose up in his direction. "I caught the bus all the way over here just so you could cheer me up and this is how you act."

"What's up?" he asked swiveling his desk chair to face her. "Why do you need cheering up?"

"They had a kissing booth at school today, for charity. To raise money for autism. One dollar a kiss."

"Nice," Puck grinned. "Stuff like that really makes me wish I hadn't gone to an all boys boarding school. I would have loved to get kisses on demand when I was your age."

"They weren't on demand, you had to pay."

"Same thing. I would have rolled up to that booth with a stack of twenties," he said slamming his imaginary wad of cash on his desk with one hand.

"Well I only had two dollars and it was for a good cause. It's not like I would kiss that boy for free. Brett Freeman is like one of the dumbest boys on the football team. I've heard rumors that they had to write his jersey number on his palm so he won't forget."

Puck shook his head. "You paid two dollars to kiss a guy like that?"

"No," she bit her lower lip, hesitating. "They wouldn't take my money."

Puck narrowed his eyes and leaned forward with even more interest. "What do you mean they wouldn't take your money?"

"There was a line and people were saying mean stuff." Quinn tried to be casual as possible, but she could feel herself beginning to tear up and she hated it. Crying was pointless.

"What kind of mean stuff?" Puck had moved to the edge of his seat looking like he was ready to pounce. The hair in his mohawk seemed to stand up straighter.

"Don't make me say it," she mumbled unable to look at him.

"You can tell me anything Quinnie. You know that right?" His voice was so gentle, the tone he often used when he was trying to coax something out of her. Never failed to make her feel safe enough to talk to him.

"Yeah I do." She blew her bangs out of her face. "It's just hard. I'm so embarrassed."

Puck moved to sit next to her on the bed, putting his arm around her shoulder. "It's just you and me," he said softly.

She might as well get it over with. It's not like Puck didn't already know she was a loser. "They yelled out stuff like who would want to kiss Lucy Caboosey and how even the autistic kids would understand why they couldn't take my money."

"They were just being stupid Quinn. You can't listen to them." Puck squeezed her tighter. Quinn could feel his fingertips boring into her skin. He was upset and trying not to be for her sake

"I know. It's not like I hadn't heard it all before anyway. But when it got to my turn at the kissing booth Brett started laughing. He told me there was no way in hell he was going to kiss a moose and he put up his lunch break sign. Everyone laughed Puck. They were all pointing and laughing at me." A tear fell before she could stop it, but only one, Quinn didn't have time for more tears than that.

"I'm so sorry that happened Quinn," he said hugging her against his side. "You're so strong and smart and beautiful one day you'll make them all eat their words."

"I want one day to be now. My mom said after I got my nose done and my braces off things would be better. Well look at me. No braces, a new nose, and a perfectly flat stomach and they're still teasing me."

"You're mom is callous wench," Puck said through clenched teeth. "I thought we agreed never to listen to her. There was nothing wrong with you before Quinn, you didn't need any surgery."

Quinn rolled her eyes. Puck was the only one that ever said stuff like that to her. No one else paid her any attention before the surgery, not that they paid her much now. "You're the only one that ever thought I was fine before. I don't know if you were just being nice or if you're going blind."

"You have the most amazing green eyes and the sweetest smile." He pushed the hair away from her face and stared a moment, like he was examining her features for the first time. Quinn relaxed as Puck looked, she liked seeing herself through his eyes. "And more than that," he said finally. "You're brave and easy to talk to and so very insightful. Here I am a freshman in college and you're like my best friend."

"That's because you're boring and immature and have a terrible personality," she teased.

"That's why only a high school student is willing to hang out with me," he said dropping his arm from her shoulder. "I guess I should be thanking you for taking pity on me and giving me the time of day."

She reclined on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He had a poster of the constellation Orion above his bed. All around the room there were pictures of horror movies and bikini clad girls, but the place where he slept was filled with stars."Yep you should. I'd like to be paid in cookies please."

"I'll call up Coach B to whip you up a batch." Quinn could hear the smile in his voice.

"What if I go through four years of high school and never get kissed?," she asked changing the subject. The stars above her head were up making her mind wander back to the impossible. "I couldn't even buy one today."

"Not going to happen," he said reclining next to her on the bed to look up at the stars with her. "You'll meet a guy, someone who'll be totally not good enough for you and I'll have to threaten his life whenever he tries to touch you below the waist, but he'll give you that kiss."

She turned to him then to watch his dark eyelash flutter against his skin like butterfly wings. Sometimes the smallest parts of Puck could take her breath away "I can't imagine meeting any boy I like more than you."

"Quinn, we've been over this."

Squeezing her eyes shut she silently counted to ten. They'd had this conversation so many times. "I'm not that young. I'm practically 15."

"Yeah and I'm fully 19. You're too young for me."

"You just said I'm your best friend."

"And if you were my girlfriend I'd be looking at jail time," he said tickling her stomach. He always did things like that, tickle her or ruffle her hair, like a reminder to himself that she was too young to touch. Quinn was well aware of all Puck's tricks by now.

"Exaggerate much? Like who would care that I was your girlfriend?"

"Your dad for one. I think he'd have a whole lot to say about me messing around with his little girl."

"I suppose," she sighed. "But what if I were older?"

"You're not older Quinn."

"But what if I was? Would you want to date me? Wait, don't answer that. I already know you would."

"Really now? he asked lightly trying to joke away from the turn their conversation had taken. "What makes you so sure?"

"A woman knows these things."

"Since when did you become a woman?" he asked turning on his side and let his hand run through her hair.

"I've always been one, you just try to pretend I'm not, but I see how you look at me Puck, even before I got fixed." She turned on her side too, to look him directly in the eyes.

"Stop saying you got fixed. As far as I'm concerned you were perfect before, nothing about you needed changing."

"Except my age," she said with a sad smile. "I'm going to transfer to Mckinley", she announced suddenly perking up.

"What? Since when?"

"I just thought of it. The kids at Carmel high are always going to see me as Lucy Caboosey but at a new school I can start over. I bet I could convince Julian to let me use his address for enrollment."

He nodded slowly. "Probably so, yeah."

"This is going to be so great," she said said feeling the exciting possibilities spinning in her head. "I'm going to be a cheerleader and I'm going hang out with the popular girls. And I'm going to be kissed by a hot football player."

"Sounds like you've got it all planned out. I hope this works out for you Quinn. From what I hear McKinley is not so different from Carmel."

"How would you know?" she asked gently tugging on his dark brown mohawk. "You went to Dalton Academy."

"My cousin Sam goes to McKinley. He just started this year when he got kicked out of Dalton."

"He sounds like a real winner." Quinn could only imagine what it would take to get a rich guy kicked out of private school. The Evans family could buy anything or anyone they wanted. "Why was he kicked out?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask for details, knowing Sam his mouth got him in trouble."

"So how old is he? Is he cute? Does he play football?" she asked in quick succession.

"Fifteen, well duh he's an Evans, and yes."

"Nice. Can you hook me up with an intro? He sounds like a good candidate for my first kiss."

"I don't think so."

"Why not? You don't think he'd like me?" she asked her stomach dropping. No one had ever liked her except Puck, and he only saw her as a kid and a friend, at least that was all he was willing to admit. But never had any other boy even given her a passing glance, not even after her surgery and weight loss.

"I think he'd love you but there's only one Evans you should be kissing."

She pinched his arm playfully. "Too bad that Evans thinks I'm a child."

"But soon you'll grow up," he said, not playing at all. Something in his eyes took her breath away, the golden brown had transformed into a shade so close to blue.

"So I should just wait for years to get my first kiss?" she asked her heart pounding in her chest.

"No I'm not saying that." Finally he lowered his eyes. "I think, well I hope, that you'll wait for your first love."

"Puck.." the words wouldn't form, everything she was feeling as she stared into his ever changing eyes was lodged in her throat. Was he trying to tell her that he loved her?

"I shouldn't have said…"

Fingertips across his lips to stop him from speaking. Just once she wanted him to let the words remain, his promises for their future. "Don't take it back Puck. Please."

A shadow fell across her face as he let his forehead fall against hers. Instinctively she closed her eyes at the nearness of him, filling herself with the warmth of his body and the subtle scent of his cologne, a little spicy, with a hint of sweet, just like him. His nose brushed against hers before his lips firmly met her own, so whisper soft, there was a hint of peppermint on his mouth, the sensation fleeting almost before she could fully feel it. Her first kiss.

Then he was moving away, off the bed and back to his desk across the room, head in his books, and the subject was closed.

"There. You just said. We've always been involved. So why would you think suddenly I would abandon you?"

"Because you did!" she said loudly. "You let Julian convince you to put me and Beth out and you wouldn't talk to me. I was nothing but trash to you, and I begged you Puck. Every day I would come to you at your office, call your phone, and you never even acknowledged me."

"Quinn, what the fuck did you want from me? I just had my heart ripped from my chest. That baby girl was supposed to be mine. She was our baby. We waited for her, and planned for her. We were happy Quinn, even after all that shit that went down with you and Sam having sex, we still managed to be happy again."

"No Puck, we weren't happy. You were. Did you even notice that I was miserable? You spent every night on the couch." He wouldn't even touch her. Their only conversations were about doctor's appointments and planning for the baby.

"I was giving you space."

"No you were running away. You didn't want me. You only wanted the baby." Damn these tears. She didn't want to do this, not in front of him. She wasn't supposed to care anymore, she was over this, over him. But it felt so good to finally tell him how she had felt all those months living with him, pregnant and feeling so alone.

"That's not true. I will admit it was hard taking you back after you cheated on me, but I wasn't giving up on us. I just needed time."

"Well I needed to feel wanted, to be comforted." She wiped her tears with the back of her hands. "I wanted you to love me again, not just see me as some slut that broke your heart. And I get that you couldn't give me that. I really do. I just wish that things were different."

"You wish that Sam hadn't had the accident so you could've stayed holed up in the hotel with him. Am I right?"

One perfect month with Sam at the hotel. It had been everything she needed, he had been everything. Sam listened and he understood. If only he could have been with her while she was pregnant, maybe things would have turned out differently.

"Sam never judged me."

"Of course he never judged you. He was just as responsible for the situation as you were. He had no room to judge anyway," Puck said bitterly.

"Maybe so, but he gave me what I needed. He was there for me and he cared about me he was the one person in the world that was truly on my side and I lost him."

"Can you listen to yourself? You have more than one person on your side Quinn. You have Santana, and Coach B, and me."

"You shut down on me." Just like he had that first time in New York, while she was touring and he was secretly turning to drugs. He had disappeared on her both times.

"But I came back. I've been your friend through all of this. Only you're too busy dreaming about Sam to notice."

"He's my best friend and Beth's father."

"I hate to break it to you, but Sam is not your savior. He's a confused mess that's running on delusions, but once he gets his head right…"

"What delusions?" she asked cutting him off. "You think caring for me makes him delusional. Santana told me he's unhappy with Mercedes and he's asking for me."

"If Sam hadn't bumped his head he wouldn't want you."

"There's always been something between me and Sam."

"You haven't been together since high school! And being fuck buddies doesn't count."

Quinn didn't want to talk about this anymore. Puck had a way of making everything that she had with Sam sound so cheap and dirty. "You don't know what you're talking about. You never understood what Sam and I had."

"That's because there was nothing to understand. But keep telling yourself you had more. See where that takes you, because right now Sam's ripe for the picking. Reading between the lines with Sam, I know he's very into you right now. Although we both know that's not real," said Puck shooting Quinn a knowing look.

Quinn stood and walked to the other side of the room trying to control the jitters that had suddenly developed in her stomach.

"Into me? Don't be ridiculous. We're just friends."

"I'm just telling you like I saw it. I could clearly see he was feeling more than friendly toward you."

"Probably the memory loss," Quinn said quietly, turning her back to Puck to hide her smile.

Sam was into her. If Puck were right that could mean, well that could mean everything. Maybe there was a chance for them. A chance for what she wasn't exactly sure, but she was beginning to feel like this was the start of something huge.

"The memory loss probably is a factor," said Puck breaking the spell Quinn had been under. She turned her attention back to him. "I found it unsettling actually."

"What was unsettling?" she asked looking over at him. He looked worried.

"The fact that he was so focused on you and yet so ambivalent about Mercedes."

She shrugged. "He doesn't remember her." She felt bad for Mercedes, it must be hard on her, but at least Sam was awake. A little memory loss didn't seem so bad when she considered the alternatives, like Sam being a vegetable or dead.

"It was more than that though. He was angry, like he resented her."

"I was told he had an issue with her not telling him they were married right away, and she did cause his accident."

Puck nodded his head. "I'm sure that had a lot to do with it."

"Anyone would be upset by that understandably."

"I guess so. It was just the amount of hostility I was sensing." He hesitated, searching for the words. "It was as if he just wanted to block her out of his life."

"He just needs to work through things. You know Sam's not a bad guy."

Sam had a sensitive side that he tried to keep hidden. Quinn suspected his anger was stemming from uncertainty about his life and all the confusion he must be feeling. He was just trying to cope. Quinn could definitely relate. She was trying to deal with her own confusion and cope.

"Rubbed me the wrong way. I was so close to kicking his ass. But I kept reminding myself that he's not right in the head. Honestly when Artie called me, I almost didn't want to come. I didn't want to relay his messages to you from Sam." He didn't lift his head to meet her eyes as he spoke he just stared down at his feet as he swung them back and forth under the table. "I'm concerned about you."

"Puck, there's no reason to worry. Sam will find a way to get me released, and everything will be okay."

He looked up. "Here's the thing, Sam's not operating under full capacity and he doesn't have all the facts. They haven't told him the whole truth."

"The whole truth about what?" A chill ran through Quinn's body, Puck's words were taking on an ominous tone.

"About what happened? Why you're here. He knows you jumped in the river, but I don't think he knows about what happened to Beth."

"They want to take things slow with him." Santana and Dr. Hill had explained to her that Sam was learning about what he missed piece by piece. They didn't want to overwhelm him with too many facts at once.

"I understand that, but aren't you even a little worried that he is coming to set you free without all the facts? Doesn't he have the right to know?"

"What are you saying? Did you fill him in?" Quinn asked her resentment toward Puck building. He was trying to ruin things for her, just because of his insane jealousy of Sam.

"No way," he said gesturing with his hands emphatically. "I want you out of here, and as much as I wish you would've come to me, but if Sam has a plan in motion, I'm not going to mess with it."

"Oh so you think that Sam knowing what happened to Beth would change things? That he wouldn't help me if he did?"

Quinn slumped back against the wall, Puck's questions landing like rocks at her feet. Why was he ruining positive news with all of these impossible what ifs?

"I don't know. Maybe. It's his daughter. He's going to feel something about it all."

"He'll understand. Sam always understands. I wasn't thinking straight, I was sick. He's not going to hold that against me, keep me locked up as punishment. He just wouldn't."

It was horrible what she had done to her baby, but if anyone could forgive her, it would be Sam. He always found a way to repair their breaks in the past. This time would be no different.

"I know him better than you do. We were raised by the same man and Dwight Evans taught us to put family first," Puck said softly. "I know if I were in his shoes, it wouldn't be so easy. A man reacts when his family is threatened."

"I guess I see how you really feel. You think I'm a threat." Tears stung in Quinn's eyes but she refused to let them fall.

So Puck was showing his true colors, she knew she couldn't trust Puck's interest in renewing their friends, but it didn't matter if he turned on her. She had Sam now. Only it did matter, she thought what she had with Puck could survive anything, even something as horrible as this. Now it seemed she was so wrong.

"I never said that…"

Puck got up and moved toward her, Quinn tried to back further in the wall as he approached. She didn't want to be near someone that though the worst of her. She didn't want to deal with his fabricated concern.

"Why are you even here Puck, if you don't believe in me?" she asked wiping at the tears she couldn't keep at bay. "If you think I am just a deranged baby killer like everyone else in this place…"

"Stop right there. I don't think any of those things," he said grabbing her arms. "I know you didn't mean to hurt Beth. I've always known. From the first day you turned up on Julian's doorstep after you wandered away from that facility, I felt something between us. You were just a kid, but I knew even then that you would be someone important in my life. So don't stand here and try to convince yourself that I don't believe in you or that I think you're some kind of monster, because you know that's not true."

Quinn folded her arms across her chest leaving Puck to only hang on to her elbows, but he didn't let her go. "I don't know what to believe anymore. Everyone thinks the worst of me, I think the worst of me. I know there's darkness in here," she said pointing at her heart. "What if somehow that poison leaked onto Beth. What if I meant to hurt her and I'm just hiding it from the world and from myself?"

He tilted her head with her chin, examining her swollen jaw, taking furtive glances at her eyes as he spoke. "And I know you're hiding something." Puck let go of her face and walked away, his back to her as he spoke. "You are hiding something inside you, maybe you don't even realize it, but lurking behind your beautiful eyes, I can sense it."

"I'm not…"

"You glow. Did you know that?" he asked over his shoulder, his back still to her as he thumbed through his phone. "I walk into a room and you are like the brightest thing there. This light just comes off you. I don't know how to describe it really, but I can see it."

"No one's ever said anything like that about me before." She didn't know what to make of what Puck had just said.

He finally turned to look at her. "Maybe I've never said it, but I've always known it." He held her gaze for a beat, and Quinn's cheeks warmed as she watched his hazel eyes shift from grey to green in front of her. She suddenly felt uncomfortable in her skin, uneasy in the sudden stillness of the room.

She looked away, laughing nervously to break the tension. "Who knew you were so deep?"

"I've got layers you can't even begin to imagine," he chuckled.

Quinn tensed up, her mind going to another conversation, with another man. Sam had said almost the same thing to her the night of the limo crash. It must be another sign, God's way of telling her to keep the faith and hold on for Sam. She shouldn't even be talking like this with Puck, it felt wrong somehow.

"So did Sam give Artie any sort of timeline?" asked Quinn, changing the subject. "When do you think I will be going home?"

"He didn't say. Soon from what I gathered."

"Sounds good. Gives me something to look forward to. I can't wait to see him you know. It feels like it has been forever."

Puck put down his Iphone and sighed, staring down at the table. "Just go slow Quinn. Don't rush things."

"Not another lecture about Sam and our friendship. I already told you…"

"I wasn't referring to that," said Puck cutting her off. "I was talking about with your heart. I can tell you're racing to give it away."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I just want to see an old friend that was in a coma. Nothing more."

"Right nothing more."

Quinn frowned. "I don't like what you are inferring. Sam is a married man."

"He doesn't care about his wife at the moment. His only focus is you."

"It's because he knows I need him."

Hope was building that it was more than that. Subtle hints from Dr. Hill and now Puck, not so subtle ones for Santana, all the unbidden fantasies, the secret longing, the increasingly unbearable desire to be with Sam, before the accident and after, were starting to form a picture in her mind. All of it was her heart leading her in one clear direction. To Sam. Now it was starting to seem like if she gave in and followed the trail of crumbs her heart had left, that she wouldn't end up at her destination alone, but that Sam would be waiting there for her. It was too impossible to believe.

Almost a year ago, before the accident, when they were at the Beacon Hotel, Quinn had begun to see Sam in a different light, actually perhaps she had just finally begun to see Sam, the real him. The man he had become, such an incredible man, and Quinn had fallen. Heartbroken from Puck's rejection, ashamed by her own actions, wanting to hide from the world, she ended up alone with Sam and it was like something inside her woke up. She knew she could handle anything with him by her side.

Only he wasn't really hers to lean on then. He loved Mercedes and was unwavering on that fact. He hadn't wanted her then, not really. The only thing he seemed to feel was the power of their history, their connection. He hadn't been ready to let go of his current entanglements and Quinn couldn't bring herself to tempt him with other options, not when he was so consumed by his wife. She wanted him to have the happiness he craved. She couldn't bear to watch him settle for something less. She could swallow her desire for him as long as she just had him. She needed him in her life, she realized that back then, and it was still true now.

"I get the feeling he might need you too. He asked Artie to give you a message. Artie didn't understand it, but I get it."

"What message?"

"He said to tell you, that you two are tied together, like the sun and the moon. That you're forever."

Quinn's eyes filled with tears, she shook her head in disbelief. "He actually said that?" He had remembered.

"Yep," said Puck rising to his feet. "No wonder you're so quick to forget about how things have always been between us. Seems like you and Sam have a similar history all your own."

"Puck, I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm not the one that's gonna get hurt. So tell me about his message," he said quickly changing the subject. "I take it that is of some significance to you."

"Yeah, we…well a few years back we thought we were going to die in that accident and we revealed some things. Not anything specific, just were open about our feelings. I really thought it was going to lead to something, but it didn't."

It had all gone so wrong somehow back then, they neglected the promises they had made the night of the crash. They let fear prevent them from taking a chance, and look where they ended up – comatose and crazy. If only she could go back and fix things. She would have told Sam how she felt, and she never would have hid her heart with Mike.

"Oh so while I was in rehab. I get it now. Yeah..Looks like you might get a second chance there."

"He's married," she reminded herself out loud.

"I don't think that matters, and even if it did, would that change things for you? I mean you can't just cut off your emotions because the conditions aren't ideal. Love doesn't work that way. Believe me I know."

"Who said anything about love?"

She was trembling, she held onto the back of a chair to steady herself. Quinn felt like she might explode, her emotions were bubbling to the surface and she didn't know how much longer she could keep them under control. So long she had lived with this secret, never even hoping there would be a chance for her feelings to go anywhere, the object of her affection, so securely out of reach.

"Take care Quinnie. Hopefully very soon you will be a free woman and we can be having these little conversations back in Lima."

"With any luck."

Puck smiled, but he looked almost sad. His eyes were a muddy brown and absent was their usual sparkle. "Something tells me luck won't be necessary. Sam will come through. His heart is on the line."

Quinn couldn't contain her smile, despite her best efforts.

"Amazing," he said quietly as he wrapped a curl at the end of her blond hair around his finger, staring at it a moment, before dropping his hand and moving away.

"What?" asked Quinn.

"There's that glow again. See ya Quinn."

Quinn hadn't even noticed him leave until she was halfway down the hall, escorted by an aide, when the fog lifted and she realized Puck had gone. All she could see was Sam, filling her mind, memories replaying like a movie. Together at sixteen, kissing at eighteen, sipping drinks at the bar when she returned to Lima as an adult, cold and scared under a blanket in the woods, drunk and sad on the floor of her apartment, and finally just Sam, his face illuminated in gold on the balcony at the Beacon, holding her hand trying to make right what went so wrong with Puck.

It was all there, just as it had always been. She just buried it somewhere dark and deep, but now it had been unearthed, exposed to the light, constant as the sun and the moon. It was still him, as it had been under the moonlight as they danced in her front yard and he warmed her body with kisses.

She had been too afraid then, but she wasn't anymore, she wouldn't let herself be. Life was too unpredictable and fleeting to hold back the truth. Quinn had learned that lesson hard and repeatedly. Her heart pounded and her throat went dry, but with a deep breath she let it out. What she had been holding for over a year, really for longer than that.

She was in love with Sam Evans. Quinn smiled. A smile so real, she felt it from within. She truly loved him.

Then her smile dropped and confusion filled her brain like a dense fog. But what about Puck?