The next four chapters are a series of vignettes that feature Sam, Mercedes, Kurt and Finn. They flow with the main storyline, but I wrote them to work together as a mini-story within the larger piece.

Chapter 34 - #1 Line Drives

"You've come too far to end it this way," said Kurt racing into the room wearing almost neon green socks, in striking contrast with his head to toe black.

"I can't take it any longer. This is the end." Sam lifted the mirror tilting it slightly to get a better view. His hand shook as he drew nearer.

"But to do it this way, with just water and a thin layer of...What is this?" he picked up the bar and examined it. "Ivory soap?

"I couldn't find any shaving cream." Sam put the razor down. His hands just weren't steady enough to the job.

"You didn't even trim it first," said Kurt noting the length of his beard.

"No scissors." Sam held the mirror up again as he stroked his coarse dark beard. The blond hairs that intermixed with the brown of his beard made him look as if he were going gray. Sam really didn't like that.

"Sam this is insane. Give me this stuff." Kurt started packing up the razor, the soap, and the mirror into the black bag on the desk.

"Kurt, I have to get this hair off my face. No one will help me. Mercedes has these stupid rules and no one is going against them."

"Did you talk to Mercedes about it?"

It was so ridiculous he had to get permission to deal with his own damn face. Sam pushed away from the desk, wheeling himself next to his bed.

"She hasn't even been around. She's sick and for some reason everyone in this house seems to be afraid of one really small woman."

His father had to be behind this. No other explanation was plausible, he must have told the staff to take orders from Mercedes and not him. Probably another part of his twisted plan to keep him married. His dad must figure if he needs Mercedes, he'll stay with her. Codependence was never Sam's style. Everyone had a price, he would just buy some help getting the things he wanted. His father was not going to win this.

"They're not afraid, just respectful." Kurt leaned against the edge of the desk facing Sam.

"What about being respectful to me? I'm the one in need."

"You're right." Kurt bowed his head, brown locks falling into his face. "Of course it should be all about you. We've just been here worrying for months, not sure whether you were going to live or die, devoting our time to your care. And Mercedes she's been such a self centered little witch, staying involved in every aspect of your recovery, taking classes about your condition, spending countless hours by your side, disregarding her own health to focus on yours. She deserves to be strung up for that."

Sam rolled his eyes dropping his hands onto his thighs loudly. "Another one on Mercedes' side. She's turned my whole family against me."

"I love Mercedes. She's the best cousin by marriage I've ever had. So yeah, I'm on her side but I'm on yours too, and to prove it I'm going to help you." He gestured toward the shaving kit behind him. "There's got to be some scissors and shaving cream somewhere in this house."

Sam grinned, relieved that he would look like himself again soon. "I can't thank you enough. It was starting to drive me crazy."

"You should have asked me from the start."

"It wasn't like I expected to see you in town. Last I remember you were off at college in Texas on a baseball scholarship."

"I did that until injuries sidelined my pitching career," explained Kurt looking a bit uncomfortable.

"Sorry Kurt. I know how disappointing that is." After he hurt his leg he worried he wouldn't ever be able to do any of the things he loved again, no more basketball, no more running. Thankfully that all turned out to be wrong, with months of therapy he could almost do everything he used to, but he did lose some of his agility.

"I'm actually in Lima because of you."

"Because of me? Why?" asked Sam.

"You gave me a little encouragement about not letting limitations stop me, so I pulled myself together and transferred here. Graduate in May."

"Business major?"

"Finance."

"Nice. Are you interning at D&E Industries?"

"Not right now. I was thinking I need to prove myself outside of the Evans name first, show Uncle Dwight my worth."

"Sounds like you have a plan in mind." Sam was impressed. Kurt obviously had ambition.

"Absolutely do. Will share more soon." Kurt looked back toward the door. "I wonder what Cede's up to. I figured she'd come up here to check on Beth by now."

"Mercedes is here? In the house?" Sam wasn't sure how he felt about it. One thing he knew was that he couldn't take another of her emotional displays. Her last one still replayed in his head when he tried to sleep at night.

"Yep. I managed to drag her out of bed tonight. We were all set to hang out at Scandals, but life happened."

He propped his chin on his palm. "What's up?"

Kurt took a deep breath. "Well. First your mom called Mercedes and asked her to come get Beth because she had some sort of emergency with …"

"With?"

"With something." Kurt added quickly, averting his eyes. "Then both Marcel and Figgins have the night off. And since Uncle Dwight and Beiste went to see a play."

"The Lion King on Broadway."

"I'm guessing they won't be back anytime soon."

"Nope. Staying the night. I've never seen the old man so eager to go see dancing animals in my life."

"I think it was more about the company than the show."

"I picked up on that. Beiste and my dad seem pretty tight."

He'd only been back home a few days, but Beiste had been at the house every one of them. Sam was pretty sure she'd been staying over at night. Now he wasn't sure if his dad was making moves on Shannon Beiste, in that way, but he certainly seemed interested in the woman. His whole face lit up whenever she came in the room. It was strange seeing his dad so clearly smitten, but it was also kind of nice to see his father do more than scowl and grunt for a change.

"They are. All started when you got married, from what I hear."

His wedding. So that was the special event Shannon Beiste had been referring to.

"It's just weird to see my dad so happy. He was smiling yesterday, for hours."

Kurt smiled. "Must be nice."

"I wouldn't mind getting a little of that."

To have a woman in his life that made him so happy he couldn't wait to come home to her, or that made him willing to see bad musical theater, it was something he had wanted for years. Sam thought he had found it with Brittany, but she was just going through the motions and in the end it became him fighting to keep her, rather than her actually wanting to stay. Love shouldn't be such a battle.

"Same here." Kurt agreed. "Finally ready I think, after the most heinous break up."

Sam nodded in understanding. "I've had a few of those."

"It sucks when you realize that the person you thought was the one ends up not sharing the sentiment. It's like unrequited love but worse, because you're actually in a relationship with the person. What's the word for that?"

"Hell." Pure hell. Twice he had been in that spot. He wasn't sure he could endure a third time as the unwanted lover.

"That about sums it up, but I might be ready to get back out there. Mercedes helped me through it all, we both were like the walking wounded for awhile, but now I think we're both on the mend."

"That's good. I wouldn't wish loving someone that doesn't feel the same on anyone. Nearly destroyed me in high school." If he hadn't enlisted it would have. He was on a self destructive path that would have ended up so badly had he stuck around Lima to see Puck and Quinn in the throes of young love.

"Are you talking about Quinn?" asked Kurt tentatively, almost as if he were afraid to bring up her name.

"Yeah."

"That was a long time ago," said Kurt.

It still felt like it all happened yesterday, didn't seem fair that this particular wound didn't want to heal. There should be a statute of limitations on heartache.

"All in the past now." Sam tried to perk up and get himself out of the dark mood that was looming. After all these years he finally had some hope. He and Quinn had a chance now, he just knew it. "We have Beth and I'm hopeful for a fresh start."

"I'm glad you two were able to remain friends, not sure Blaine and I will ever get there, especially not after what I did to his car." Sam gave Kurt a questioning look. "Don't ask."

Sam laughed. "I won't. I did some pretty messed up stuff with Quinn and Brittany too for that matter, and I'm on good terms with both of them now. At least I think I am."

"You are."

"Strange that I can't remember such basic stuff about my own life. I don't know where I stand with anybody these days." Sam felt like an easy prey to his enemies, if he had any, he had no idea about the current lay of the land.

"I can imagine it's rough," said Kurt.

"I will figure it out sooner or later. I'm not worried." As soon as possible Sam wanted to learn all he had missed. No more taking it slow. Screw that. He got his life back, now he needed to take control of it and live it. "Besides I'm proof that you can survive a bad break up, the two I recall that is. I get the feeling I may have had more."

"You did."

Sam's stomach dropped. He had been hoping something had gone right with his love life over the past few years. No such luck. "At least I am consistent. It would be nice to finally get one that sticks. Feeling pretty old."

"Is that a subtle reminder that your birthday is coming up?"

Sam flashed a grin. "I would never stoop to something like that."

He wasn't all that big on birthdays anymore, especially as he got older, though chocolate cake was always nice. Maybe this year he would get to spend his birthday with Quinn and Beth, a chance at having a real family moment for once in his life. He just had to get Quinn out of the hospital so it all could happen.

"Sure you wouldn't." Kurt chuckled. "It's not like I could forget your birthday anyway, Mercedes has it circled in red on the calendar on the fridge at your house."

"At Shannon Beiste's?"

Sam had tried to forget about the fact that he had a whole life in a residence across town. The mansion was his home in his mind, always had been, even during the times he had left it, he always kept the majority of his things here. Coming home from the hospital two weeks earlier, getting situated in his bedroom, one thing became startlingly clear, he didn't live there anymore. Practically nothing of himself remained in the room. Things stuffed in drawers, boxes of photos and high school mementos in the closet, a cluster of random clothing, a framed photo here and there, but everything else that was his, the daily pieces of himself, were absent from the space.

"That's where you guys live," Kurt said quietly.

"Right. I knew that. Hard to picture myself there though, doesn't seem like my style."

"No servants and a picket fence, big change from life here at the mansion."

"I can't see myself choosing to live there."

It wasn't about not having a staff, he had lived without one many times before. The military had broken him of depending on others to serve his basic needs. Sam was very self sufficient, and proud of it. The world might have still seen him as the pampered little rich boy, heir to an empire, but he had moved beyond that, he was stronger than that. He could make it anywhere if he had to, but to consciously pick up his life and move to the suburbs of Lima to live with an older woman and his new wife, that seemed like such a stretch. He may not have needed to be pampered but he liked to live a bit more luxuriously than that, and definitely with more privacy.

"But you did. Mercedes said it was your idea. I wasn't around then. I've only heard stories."

"I've only heard stories too, most don't even seem real at this point."

The stories seemed like they were about another person. He caught glimpses of himself here and there in the tales about the life he forgot, but on the whole some of the things he was told he had done didn't seem to fit with the way he viewed life and the plans he had for himself.

"From what I've heard you had a good life. Newlywed, doing some consulting work for D&E Industries, getting along better with your parents. They say you were content."

Content, that right there was enough to make him pause. Sam had never been content in his life, ever. He never fully got what he wanted, there was always something lurking around the corner, another shoe to drop. He stayed on guard and he waited for the worst. This idyllic life his family had been describing didn't ring true, especially in light of Beth. If he were so happy why did he have a child with Quinn while married to Mercedes?

"So content I cheated on my wife." Sam ran his hand over his short hair. It was stiff with some product that barber had used on it.

"I don't know much about that. Mercedes doesn't talk about it much, understandably."

"I plan on asking Quinn when I see her."

He had to find some answers about it all. While he loved his daughter so much already, he was happy he had her, especially happy he had her with Quinn, Sam still didn't like the circumstances in which Beth was apparently conceived. The idea that he went outside of his marriage and had an affair was unsettling. There had to be more to the story than he knew.

"Are you taking a trip upstate?"

Kurt seemed surprised. Sam guessed most people didn't approve of the idea of him visiting Quinn, they saw her as the other woman, an outsider, to Sam she was the only thing that felt like home. Even though he had yet to see her just knowing she was out there somewhere, maybe thinking of him, made him feel pretty damn good.

"Hopefully next week. I'm pretty excited. It feels like it has been so long since I've seen her." He felt eight again, on the jet to Orlando, taking that trip to Disneyworld with his parents and Puck. There was a giddy happiness building inside him. He was going to see Quinn and he couldn't wait.

"You've been friends a long time."

"Over ten years. I can't imagine my life without her in it." He didn't want to imagine life without her in it. Sam never wanted to lose her as a friend.

"So what about Mercedes? She's a part of your life too."

And just like that all his happy thoughts about Quinn faded and Mercedes' haunting eyes flooded his mind.

"I don't remember that. I don't see how she fits at this point."

He shook his head, his mind shutting down like a trap door. There was no room for Mercedes, he couldn't add the confusion she brought him into the mix. His focus needed to be Quinn and Beth. Things were complicated enough, he didn't need to make them worse by trying to add another element.

"I think the fact that you're married should make her position in your life very clear. You took vows."

Sam was shocked by Kurt's directness. The rest of the family had tried to subtly drop hints or tiptoe around the subject of his wife, but not Kurt. Kurt was putting it all out there, challenging him for answers. Annoying as it was, Sam sort of liked it, made him feel normal again, instead of like some damaged invalid that needed to be handled with care.

"I don't remember them though."

"She does."

Mercedes' sad brown eyes flashed in his mind, tear filled and searching. He made her look like that, and it bothered him more than he cared to admit.

"Look Kurt, I know you two are close, but this situation is complicated. All my memories, all my feelings are somewhere else." They had to be.

"With Quinn?"

"I'm not the same man she married. Not really."

He didn't even know the version of himself that was supposed to love Mercedes. He had spent countless hours sifting through his brain trying to find some clue that led him to the person he seemed to have become, a man that would leave his family business and home for such a young woman and then to turn around and cheat on her. It just wasn't him.

"Believe me she realizes that. She told me what went down when you found out she was your wife."

Sam could hear the anger creeping into Kurt's voice, betraying his calm demeanor.

"Maybe not one of my finer moments, but it was a lot to take." There really was no excuse for his reaction. He had gotten out of control. He realized that now, purposely setting out to hurt Mercedes was a pretty low move.

"Can I ask you something?" asked Kurt taking a seat on the bed.

"Sure."

"If Cede weren't your wife and just your nurse would things be different?"

"Different in what way? I still wouldn't have any memory of her."

"Different in how you're treating her."

"I'm not treating her any way. I haven't seen her in weeks."

Kurt wasn't buying it. "Before, in the hospital, she told me you were one way before you knew who she was and another way after."

Sam swallowed the lump in his throat. "Kurt, I really don't want to go into this again. She withheld information from me, and I trusted her. I probably handled it all badly, but it upset me. It has nothing to do with us being married or not."

"Maybe you don't remember this, but you always were straight with me, never treated me like a little kid, even though I'm younger than you are. I've always respected that about you, your honesty."

"I remember. You were a good kid. I liked spending time with you, playing sports and stuff."

Despite their age difference, Kurt was the one person in the family he could fully relate to. He loved sports as much as Sam did, and his appreciation for making money almost rivaled his own.

"Me too. One of the reasons I liked summers in Lima was because of you."

"That's pretty cool of you to say. Thanks Kurt." Sam smiled at his cousin. It was good to see him. He was really glad Kurt was back in Lima.

"Can you be straight with me right now? Mercedes is one of my best friends. I don't want to see her hurt anymore."

Sam sighed heavily. "Kurt…"

"Let me finish. You mean everything to her. She'd probably get mad if she knew I was telling you this, but it's true and you deserve to know. Mercedes loves you so much that it physically hurts her."

He felt the words like a blow, a sharp pain across his chest. "Hurts her? What do you mean?" he asked dreading what Kurt's response might be.

"Think back to how you felt about Quinn in high school, when she took up with Puck, when she broke your heart. Do you remember how that made you feel?"

"Of course I do, but what's that have to do with Mercedes?"

"She feels just like you did back then, heartbroken, loving someone that doesn't love her back."

Sam hated that he was now making someone feel that way, but what choice did he have? He didn't remember her. "I do feel badly for her, but I can't help that I don't remember."

"I know. Doesn't change how she feels though."

"Why are you telling me this? There's nothing I can do." Sam turned his wheelchair away from the bed, putting his back to Kurt.

"Yes there is. Stop hurting her," said Kurt as he came around to stand in front of Sam, blocking his path. "Either give her a chance or let her go, but you can't keep doing this to her." Things were not that simple, his father had made sure of that.

"I'm not doing anything to her Kurt. I already told you I haven't seen her since I've been home."

"I know you asked her to dinner at the hospital. Made her feel all hopeful, telling her about your unexpected attraction toward her."

"She told you that?" Sam let his head fall into his hands.

If only he had a muzzle on himself back in at the hospital. He let himself get carried away just because he felt a smidge of attraction toward a woman. Ok maybe more than a smidge, and maybe it was more than just attraction, but he refused to let himself go there and to figure all that out. He just had to suck it up now and deal with the consequences of his aggressively flirtatious behavior with a woman that he thought was his nurse.

"It gave her hope that maybe you two could make it, that you actually could have something again."

Further proof that his father's plan was harmful for everyone involved, staying married to Mercedes would just give her the wrong idea, false hope, make her hang on to something that wasn't real. He didn't feel anything for her, he wouldn't allow himself to.

"That was before I knew about Quinn and Beth. Everything's different now."

"Then tell her that. She's stuck between thinking you hate her and hoping for the best."

He looked up. "I don't hate her."

If only he did. All of this would be so much easier. He could just turn his back on Mercedes and move on with his life, and not give her another thought, but she kept hounding him, her sadness, her hurt feelings, it all persisted, tapping at the back of his mind.

"I know that, but you've got to let her know," he said placing both hands on the armrests of the wheelchair, crouching to Sam's eye level. "She can't keep going on like this. She's going to be back in the hospital."

Another pain hit him, just as sharp as the first across his chest. "I thought she was there for exhaustion."

Kurt straightened up and walked over to the door. "Just think about what I said please. I'm going to go and find some shaving cream."

"Kurt," Sam said causing the younger man to pause in the doorway.

"Yeah."

"Can you ask Mercedes to come up here? I need her."

Sam wasn't sure what he would say to her once she arrived, but he at least owed her some sort of explanation. Her life was about to change dramatically in a matter of days, and once again it would be because of him. Maybe if he set things right with her once and for all, she would finally get some peace. Sam didn't want to spend the rest of his life watching Mercedes cry in his dreams. He couldn't take it.