One Big Aperture Family
Cramped Quarters
Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System (GLaDOS) Log Function
Initiating Log Program
Begin When Ready…
We have successfully arrived at the destination reported upon and it is everything we had hoped for. As expected, our visit is most unwelcome to the adult humans in the house mentioned in earlier reconnaissance logs. While the adult humans are hesitant to accept our being here, the smaller humans seem to welcome us with open arms. Probably more out of curiosity than anything.
Subject Angela (Angie) seems to remember us and has no qualms with our being here. As she had years ago, she affectionately refers to me as "Grandma". I am comfortable with this designation. The Cooperative Testing Initiative bots have been designated "Uncle ATLAS and Aunt P-Body" as opposed to their former designations of "Mr. ATLAS and Miss Pee-Bee". I still call them by their proper names of "Blue and Orange." She seems the happiest with our arrival and looks forward to our staying here.
Subject Little Chell (Chelly) is the smallest human in this house. She is the life I sensed and scanned within Subject Lillian (Lil) three years prior and appears to have grown into a happy and otherwise healthy toddler. Further examination of the child may be needed. According to Subject Lillian, she has been named after the same subject that caused all that trouble years ago. She has been mentioned multiple times before and does not need repeating.
How the former Intelligence Dampening Sphere (Wheatley) made such an intelligent child with the daughter of the mute psycho is beyond me. Apparently, Subject Lillian is expecting again. According to my scans, the child within her is about five months along and already starting noticeable movement. I couldn't tell what the gender was, as I didn't have enough time to scan Subject Lillian before almost being forced to leave. How the moron could do such a convoluted task twice is beyond me. Further study of the mother and unborn child is needed.
I am happy to report my substitute body is working beyond expectations. I look forward to seeing exactly where this body can take me. My remote access to the facility keeps me informed of the subjects and keeps the testing going. According to my reports, everything is running smoothly. I see no reason for the Cooperative Testing Initiative to be worried.
When the Cooperative Testing Initiative asked if I was going to tell them the reason behind our unannounced "vacation", I had to quell their curiosity. As of the current moment, I don't believe telling them would be appropriate. I do believe, however, that time is of the essence. While the Co-op bots think this threat is more menacing, I doubt anything fruitful will come of their worries. For now, I am complacent with just observing our "family" and seeing where this takes us. The subjects under this roof require much study and this gives one ample opportunity to do so.
Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System (GLaDOS) end log function
The sounds of birds chirping outside awoke the residents of the red brick Victorian style house on Autumn Street long before any alarm clock or garbage truck. The summer was coming to a close and in a few short weeks the birds would be replaced with the sounds of children running to meet the school bus. The summer sun was already starting to gleam through the window, waking up the inhabitant of the king sized bed from his peaceful slumber. With a snort and a soft cough, Wheatley sat up and rubbed his eyes.
His night had been more restless than one would like. Usually it was Lil having the restless nights, as one of the symptoms of her pregnancy was night sweats. Wheatley hadn't had a night like that since before his Aperture adventure three years prior. His dream wasn't of anything specific, but it gave him something to think about as he started his morning routine.
Reaching for his glasses, Wheatley took a deep breath and sighed softly. He couldn't see his wife anywhere, so he assumed she had already gotten up to make breakfast. That or her morning sickness woke her up, as it sometimes did. Sitting up, Wheatley smiled softly at the warm sunshine entering the master bedroom. He sighed happily and got up. Wheatley wasn't sure why, but he often woke up before his alarm clock. It was a habit he often wondered if he always had.
"Wheatley!" shouted Lil, from downstairs. "Breakfast is ready! Get a move on!"
Chuckling to himself, Wheatley scratched his head and started making his way to the master bathroom, slowly stripping off his pajamas along the way. It was all a dream then… he muttered in his mind. The house being so quiet, there really aren't androids living here. It was all a ready bad, yet very realistic dream. Wheatley chuckled softly and grabbed his towel from the hook on the back of the bathroom door. He made a habit of wrapping it around his waist, even though it was only him and Lil that used the master bathroom.
"I'm so happy…just a bad dream." He muttered, as he opened the bathroom door. Wheatley walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower, letting the towel fall to the floor. Lil would have yelled at him for doing that, but hopefully she stayed occupied in the kitchen long enough to where she'd never know. As he scrubbed himself clean, a lucid smile graced across Wheatley's lips. "All just a bad dream, isn't it? I'm going to go downstairs, kiss my wife, greet the kids, and there will be no androids walking around in my house. Yep…all a dream…"
After drying off and getting dressed, Wheatley found himself hesitating to open the bedroom door. "All a dream…" he murmured as he forced his arm to extend to the doorknob.
Though he tried his hardest to ignore the feeling of dread coming over him, Wheatley felt a cold shiver creep its way up his spine. "I was certain the weather man said the cold weather wouldn't start for another few weeks." He murmured, stepping out of the master bedroom. He yawned loudly, and then smiled at the smell of fresh coffee being made downstairs. "An ordinary morning with coffee and whatever Lil decided to make for breakfast. I hope her cravings haven't kicked in yet today. I don't think I can take another scrambled egg and chocolate chip cookie omelet."
Wheatley lumbered down the stairs, happy that the smell of coffee became stronger. As per routine, Lil was usually waiting by the kitchen door with a cup of coffee for him. Also per routine, the milk and sugar would be waiting in his spot at the breakfast table (the table in the kitchen) while Angie loudly munched on her cereal and Chelly had her morning sippy cup of juice after finishing her oatmeal. Dr. Rattmann usually woke up later, as he often went to bed later due to working on things in his den.
"Good morning, love." Wheatley yawned as his coffee was handed to him. He puckered up his lips for a kiss but stopped himself when he noticed who was handing him his coffee. With a sly smile across her face, P-Body chuckled in her mechanical chirping as Wheatley backed his face away and took his coffee into the kitchen. Lil chuckled as Wheatley sat in his spot, next to ATLAS, who was watching Angie eat her cereal. "Ahh, so it wasn't a bad dream. I am going completely insane." Wheatley muttered as Lil placed the sugar and milk in front of him.
Lil kissed him on the cheek and continued to make breakfast as Wheatley sat down in his spot. At least that was still there. Wheatley glanced around the kitchen, noting everything. While Lil made breakfast, P-Body washed the dishes while ATLAS made sure Angie ate her food.
Chelly finished her morning juice and stared at ATLAS inquisitively. She seemed to take quite a shine to him and reached out to him. "Awww, you like Uncle ATLAS, don't you, Chelly?" Angie cooed as she finished her cereal. ATLAS stood up and picked Chelly up from her high chair. "He's really nice. And he's strong too!"
Chelly blinked softly and grabbed a handful of ATLAS's hair, yanking it. ATLAS groaned uncomfortably as Chelly yanked harder. Wheatley chuckled softly and mixed his coffee up.
As P-Body ran to ATLAS to help pry Chelly off of his head, Wheatley sat up at the sudden realization that someone was behind him, and it wasn't Dr. Rattmann. He could hear this voice tsk softly and walk into the kitchen as silently as she had arrived downstairs. "I warned Blue about the child, but he didn't listen. You remember how hard-headed he can be."
GLaDOS glided into the room and sat down a chair or so away from Wheatley. Both Wheatley and Lil were uncomfortable with her being in the house. Her presence within their household was angering, and Wheatley was sure it was no secret that he wanted her out. He cleared his throat as Lil placed a plate in front of him. GLaDOS just sat there, staring at Wheatley as he stirred his coffee and picked up his fork. As if knowing how much it infuriated him, GLaDOS followed Wheatley's every movement with her eyes.
Having given up on trying getting the two-year-old off ATLAS's head, the Androids sat back down and watched along with their boss as Wheatley cut into his omelet and attempted to eat it. The smell indicated that it was a regular omelet with no chocolate-chip cookies in it. Wheatley glanced over at the Androids as they watched him. He slowly put the piece of omelet in his mouth and chewed slowly. "So, what plans do you have today, idiot?" GLaDOS finally asked as Wheatley swallowed what was in his mouth.
Wheatley cleared his throat and glared at GLaDOS. "For one, I'm laying down some ground rules for our unwanted guests." He grumbled as he sipped his coffee.
"You have other people staying here?" asked GLaDOS, almost mockingly. Wheatley tried to keep his hand from shaking angrily. "Because I did a full scan of this house and unless you count the maniac occupying your basement, we're the only other guests here."
"He meant you, 'Grandma'." Lil grumbled as she took Angie's empty cereal bowl.
Wheatley sighed and pushed his plate away. He may not have been very hungry, but he had bigger things to worry about. "Alright, you staying here is apparently going to happen whether I want it to or not. Just remember this: you are staying in MY house, so you are going to abide by MY rules. Is that clear?"
GLaDOS had a hard time keeping a straight face. Lil grabbed Chelly off ATLAS's head and sat her back in her high chair. ATLAS tried to ignore Chelly reaching for him again. He tried to ignore Chelly's whining as she hopelessly reached for "Uncle ATLAS".
"When I say something is final, it is final." Wheatley looked at GLaDOS, who nodded with her grin. "The same rules apply to you that apply to the children. No loud noises, you clean up after yourselves, and you are to do as you're told. You help out around here or you can just stay out of the way. I'd prefer the last option, but knowing you, that won't happen. You're guests in our home, so act like it!"
It was then GLaDOS bellowed out the deepest, most mechanical laughter anyone had ever heard. "That's adorable." She chuckled as her laughter died down. "Don't worry, Moron. We'll be good little tourists on our vacation. I promise we'll…" she started laughing again. GLaDOS couldn't make a promise to behave with a straight face. "You look cute when you're trying to be assertive." GLaDOS goaded. Wheatley tried not to get angry. Lil could sense it and grabbed the newspaper from the counter. Wheatley grumbled and opened the newspaper, trying to ignore the soft laughter of GLaDOS.
Angie sipped her juice happily as GLaDOS slowly glanced at her. "What are your plans for your vacation, Grandma?" she asked happily. "There is a bunch of cool stuff we can do around the house while Wheatley and Grandpa are busy around the house."
"What were you planning on doing today, Small One?" GLaDOS asked.
"Me and Chelly were going to go on a treasure hunt in the back yard. Then we were going to have lunch in the living room, and then go with Lil to the super market to pick up some stuff for dinner." Angie's big smile gave GLaDOS a warm feeling in her systems. "Tuesdays are usually pretty boring. Wednesdays are pretty exciting, though."
Lil walked to the cabinet and took out a box of stuff. She plopped it in front of GLaDOS, making the table shake. "Alright, you may not take Wheatley seriously, but you're going to take me seriously." Lil scolded. Angie knew the look Lil had on her face and immediately took Chelly into the living room, motioning for the Androids to follow. "You two stay put!" Lil shouted, pointing to the Androids and then to the chairs next to GLaDOS. The Androids sat back down as GLaDOS rummaged through the box before her. "Just like Wheatley a few years ago, you three will be earning your keep around here. Since you insist on staying here, you're going to help me with the house work and whatever else I need done."
Reaching into the box, Lil pulled out a bucket full of cleaning supplies and some sponges. "Since I like you the least, you're on cleaning detail. It takes a lot to keep this house up and running, so you're going to learn the ins and outs of the Pendleton household, and I don't just mean the technical aspects." Lil sneered at GLaDOS as she handed her the items. "…and the best way to learn about a house is to know how dirty it can get. So, you're going to clean this house from top…" Lil pointed to the ceiling. "…to bottom." Lil pointed to the floor. "As far as I see it, you have quite a debt to me. You want my trust? Earn it and be grateful I'm giving you the chance."
Wheatley tried not to laugh, feeling a bit justified as he chuckled. Lil walked out of the kitchen and came back with a diaper bag from the hall closet. "ATLAS and P-Body, you two get to help me with the kids." said Lil, tossing the diaper bag to P-Body. "You will learn how to pack a diaper bag and help me with everything the girls need." Lil looked to ATLAS, who looked like he was dreading his assignment. "ATLAS, along with helping with the kids, you're going to help the men around here with repair work, yard work, or whatever else men do whenever women tell them to do things. Today, you're going to start by mowing the backyard. The lawnmower is in the toolshed out back."
ATLAS and P-Body saluted, though GLaDOS looked less than thrilled. It was at that time that the basement door opened, revealing a yawning Dr. Rattmann. He looked around and sighed. "Ahh, so it wasn't a dream brought on by the medication. Well, that's good to know." He murmured as he sat down next to GLaDOS. "Morning, honey…" Dr. Rattmann joked as Lil placed breakfast in front of him. GLaDOS snarled at him.
"Good morning, Grandpa!" Angie shouted as she and Chelly ran back into the kitchen to greet Dr. Rattmann. "Lil is making Grandma clean the house today!"
Dr. Rattmann chuckled as he waited for Wheatley to get finished reading the newspaper. Dr. Rattmann was relieved that today's omelet didn't have bits of cookies in it. "So, what do you two have planned for today?" he asked as Angie walked up to him with Chelly.
"Me and Chelly are going on a treasure hunt today!" Angie shouted, happily.
"Chelly and I, Little One. Remember that talk about grammar we had with your teacher?" Dr. Rattmann remarked as Lil placed a coffee mug in front of him.
"Sorry, Grandpa. Chelly and I are going to dig for treasure in the backyard. It's baby stuff, but Chelly insists…" Angie tried to look innocent. Angie wanted to look more adult to Lil and the other adults, but still found herself giving into childish impulses. Angie seemed more excited about the aspect of digging in dirt than Chelly did.
GLaDOS put the bucket on the floor and smiled down at Angie. "That seems like a colossal waste of time. You could be expanding your horizons beyond playing in dirt like a cave dwelling savage. Aren't you in school, child?" she asked softly.
"It's summer break, Grandma! I don't have school until the last week of August." Angie corrected in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Duh, 'Grandma'." Dr. Rattmann chided as he sipped his coffee. Unlike Wheatley, Dr. Rattmann preferred his coffee black with one small spoonful of sugar. He liked his coffee slightly bitter, professing that it helped him wake up. GLaDOS glared at Dr. Rattmann and then at Wheatley, who was laughing softly.
"And the smallest one?" asked GLaDOS.
Wheatley shook his head. "Chelly is only two. She won't be starting school for another three years." Wheatley slowly turned the page of his newspaper and sipped his coffee. "If you're going to stay here, at least call us by our names, alright?" Wheatley finished reading his paper and handed it to Dr. Rattmann.
"I promise nothing." GLaDOS said plainly.
Wheatley rolled his eyes and went back to his coffee. GLaDOS, obviously bored with the morning routine, got up and left the kitchen, "accidently" bumping Wheatley's chair. Once he was sure she was gone, Wheatley looked at Dr. Rattmann, who was oddly calm during all this. "You can't be okay with this." He whispered. Dr. Rattmann just shrugged as he drank his coffee and read the paper. If Wheatley could, he'd take a few of Dr. Rattmann's pills himself if it meant he could be that placid about everything. He shook the idea from his head when Lil sat down.
After the girls and the Androids left, Lil felt it was safe to talk. "We're going to have to make the best of this." She said, finally. Wheatley looked a little surprised at Lil's statement, considering just three years prior Lil was fighting to keep her body. "It's obvious she's not going to leave. But as she said, she's on 'vacation' and vacations have to come to an end. If we think she's up to something, and it's obvious she is, we'll take care of it. Until then, let's just see where this goes. If it means I don't have to clean any toilets, I'm happy."
Dr. Rattmann scratched his chin and nodded. "I do find it odd that she just 'decides' to leave the facility with nothing but a handbag and two Androids. Even with remote access, handling a facility as big and technologically advanced as Aperture is an around the clock job, not just something you can take a break from. Whether or not she's up to something may not be our biggest concern."
Nodding softly, Wheatley cleared his throat and stood up. "Well, you two may be okay with this, but I'm not!" Wheatley shouted, pushing his chair in. "She's up to something, and I'm going to find out what it is before it blows up the city or our home!" Wheatley stomped out of the kitchen and toward the living room.
Lil sipped her juice softly (being pregnant, she couldn't drink much coffee). "I never said I was okay with it." She mumbled.
Wheatley entered the living room to find GLaDOS sitting in the big recliner chair, with Angie and Chelly on the floor by her feet. ATLAS and P-Body were on the love seat, watching as Angie flipped channels on the television. The Androids still seemed amazed by the concept of cable television. Wheatley cleared his throat towards GLaDOS, trying to convey that she was in his seat. "You should really get a doctor to examine that cough. Wouldn't want the children to catch it, would we?" GLaDOS chided.
Balling up his fists, Wheatley sat himself in on the couch. "Angie, turn on the morning news, please." Wheatley mumbled, as Chelly began climbing the couch to sit next to him.
"But I want to watch cartoons!" Angie complained as Chelly clapped along to the theme song of the cartoon on the television. "You always get to watch the morning news! I want to show Grandma that pony show that Lil doesn't like us watching!"
Wheatley sighed and stared at Angie, about to say something. "Go ahead and watch your pony cartoon, Small One." GLaDOS cooed, patting Angie on the head. "I am curious to see why something obviously forbidden by the adult figures fascinates this child so much." Wheatley was about to say something, but decided against it. He decided to bide his time. GLaDOS was his house guest, he kept remembering that.
Never one to turn down watching cartoons (it was his guilty pleasure), Wheatley sat on the couch, entranced by the colors and fast paced animation, though it gave him a slight headache. "I wonder why she doesn't let you watch this show. It's pretty enthralling." Wheatley muttered softly. The Androids, who were sitting on the love seat next to the couch, got up and sat next to Wheatley to get a better view of the television. P-Body sat on one side and ATLAS sat on the other. Chelly smiled wide and reached over her father, trying to grab at ATLAS again.
GLaDOS, who didn't seem to agree with Wheatley's opinion of the show, snatched the remote from Angie, turning the television off. Standing up to see the annoyed faces staring at her, GLaDOS didn't seem apologetic in her choice. "If this is what constitutes quality programing for children, I think you'd be better off digging in dirt."
Wheatley tried to get comfortable on the couch, but found himself being nudged and moved around by the Androids' constant fidgeting. "This is totally unacceptable." He mumbled, accidently kicking ATLAS as he crossed his long legs. ATLAS mumbled back in his mechanical language and pointed to Wheatley's legs. "I can't help that I have long legs. Why can't you two sit somewhere else? The couch is big enough for two more people and you decide to sit so close to me!"
Chelly started to climb her father, trying to get to ATLAS. ATLAS scooted down to the next cushion, but Chelly seemed determined to get to him. As Chelly climbed up Wheatley's head, knocking his glasses off balance, P-Body found herself reaching over him, grabbing Chelly as she kicked and shouted for ATLAS. Wheatley groaned as Chelly kicked his head a few times. P-Body stood up, holding the shouting toddler as Angie and GLaDOS laughed at Wheatley's disheveled face.
Readjusting his glasses, Wheatley stood up and straightened his shirt out. "While you're up, Moron, could you get me a drink?" GLaDOS chided.
"You're a robot. Since when do you do drink or do anything of the sort?" Wheatley demanded.
GLaDOS smiled. "I just wanted to see what the tradition response is to that question." She laughed, waving him away as if he were a servant.
Wheatley sighed and left the living room for the kitchen again. Lil was cleaning up and Dr. Rattmann had finished the paper. "What was all that screaming?" Lil asked, putting the last plate on the dish rack. "Were you guys watching that pony cartoon again? You know I don't like the girls watching that show. As if video games and sugar don't melt their minds enough, you allow them to watch that drivel."
"It's not that bad of a cartoon. It's got bright colors, engaging plot…" Wheatley counted on his long fingers. Lil put her hand on her hip and glared at him. "…it wasn't me! SHE undermined my authority and told the girls they could watch it! I wanted to watch the news!"
"Wheaters, if you want to watch cartoons, watch the television in our room and don't blame the kids." Lil wiped her hands and leaned against the counter. Her pregnant belly poked out a little more each day and Wheatley swelled with pride as Lil sat down in a nearby chair. Gone were Lil's black t-shirts and form fitting jeans that complimented her curvy hips and now were the brightly colored maternity shirts and uncomfortably loose maternity pants that made her feel like she was wearing a circus tent.
Before Wheatley could say anything, the Androids ran back into the kitchen, with Chelly stuck to ATLAS again. Lil sighed and got up again. "This better not be a recurring thing with you, Missy." She groaned as she pried Chelly off ATLAS. ATLAS sounded off his thanks in his mechanical language as Lil handed Chelly to Dr. Rattmann. "You'd think she'd give you two the ability to talk by now." Lil murmured.
"She probably didn't think it was practical. I mean, she can understand them, Wheatley can understand them, and to an extent, I can understand them." Dr. Rattmann bounced Chelly on his knee, smiling at her happy baby giggling.
"How can you understand them? I understand Wheatley understanding them considering he used to be a robot, but how can you?" asked Lil.
Dr. Rattmann smiled and took Chelly's little hands, pretending to dance with her. "I spent years around machines before and after Aperture completely shut itself off from the world, that includes my time in the Core Garden before you all came to the facility. I sabotaged a lot of her work in the twenty-odd years I spent living within the walls after your mother left. I had to make do with what allies I could get, even if it meant the very machines I feared. You don't spend years around said machines and not eventually learn their language. It's not much different from baby babble, right Chelly?" Chelly bounced happily on Dr. Rattmann's knee and clapped happily.
Chelly knew a few words, but most of her sentence structure was still garbled babbling. It worried Wheatley and Lil, but the pediatrician told them that babies learn at their own pace. "Gan-pa bouncy!" Chelly laughed as Dr. Rattmann stopped bouncing her. "Gan-pa, bouncy more!" she shouted when Dr. Rattmann placed her on the floor.
The moment Chelly was on the floor, she bolted for ATLAS again. Wheatley scooped her up before she could climb on ATLAS again. "I have no idea what her fascination is with you. Sorry, mate." Wheatley held onto Chelly tightly as she wiggled about, reaching for ATLAS.
"Alright, everyone is fed, the kitchen is cleaned up, and it's time to start the day. Everyone made of metal or any other kind of technologically advanced material line up in front of me." Lil shouted through the doorway leading to the living room. GLaDOS seeming glided into the kitchen, where Lil handed her the bucket from before. "You can start by swabbing the bathrooms."
GLaDOS didn't look happy. "Oh, yes. This is the perfect use for such an advanced piece of intricate technology. I dreamed of cleaning your human waste receptacles while I spent over a year perfecting every fine detail of this body to run perfectly and without error."
"…and they say dreams don't come true." Lil chided and turned to face the Androids. "ATLAS, you're in charge of mowing the back yard. Be sure to pick up any toys the girls left out there. I usually cut the grass because Wheatley isn't allowed the use the lawnmower ever since that volleyball net fiasco."
"I keep telling you, woman! I didn't see it!" Wheatley shouted.
"How do you not see a big volleyball net when mowing the lawn? And it wasn't even on the ground, it was still up." Lil remarked as she handed the keys to the toolshed to ATLAS. "Well, either way, the violent vibrations aren't good for the baby, so ATLAS is overtaking this task." ATLAS saluted and ran for the door leading outside.
Lil took Chelly from Wheatley put her on the ground next to P-Body's feet. "Go with the girls outside. There is a patch of dirt in the spot I'm going to put my garden, they can dig there. When they're done, hose them off and bring them inside." P-Body nodded and took little Chelly's hand, leading the way to find Angie. Lil turned with a pretty devilishly happy look on her face. She faced GLaDOS with purpose. "I'm sure you're anxious to get started so I won't keep you. If you need help or find the need to complain, I'll be downstairs."
GLaDOS huffed and placed the bucket on the floor. "This is beneath me. I'm not dressed or made for this kind of manual labor. Orange…" GLaDOS shouted. P-Body ran back into the kitchen and saluted. GLaDOS pointed to the bucket and P-Body happily picked it up. "You heard the walking incubator. Get started. I'll be up in a moment to 'assist' you." GLaDOS commanded. P-Body took the bucket with and unsure look, glanced at Lil, who only sighed, and ran towards the upstairs. Lil rubbed her forehead with her fingers.
Outside, as ATLAS pondered the tool shed, Wheatley and Dr. Rattmann were dispatched by Lil to keep an eye on the girls, since P-Body was now doing GLaDOS's chores. It was by far the easiest chore Lil had ever assigned to them and didn't complain. "So, what do you think they're up to?" Wheatley asked as Dr. Rattmann passed him a drink. "I mean, besides the chores Lil assigned them."
Dr. Rattmann shrugged and watched ATLAS carefully as he took the lawn mower out of the shed and looked it over. "I don't think it's those two we need to worry about. Despite the obvious lack of human interaction besides cleaning up whatever gory mess aligned a test chamber after a subject exploded, they seem competent enough to at least look after children. They have the same mindset as them, anyway. They may have free will, but to them, GLaDOS is still their boss and they go where she goes. It's interesting, in a cosmic way. She gave them free will, but not the ability to acknowledge it."
Wheatley had no idea what Dr. Rattmann was getting at, but decided to let him explain himself. They drank sodas, as Lil didn't like alcohol in the house while she was pregnant. "Something is definitely not right, but at the moment, nothing's on fire or exploding, so I think the best course of action would be to…well, do nothing." Dr. Rattmann sipped his soda contently and leaned back in the porch chair. Wheatley didn't seem satisfied with that answer.
"The moment they walked in, I knew they'd be up to something. But what?" Wheatley murmured. He scratched his chin, which was forming a stubbly goatee, and sat back.
Dr. Rattmann shrugged again. "How about this: I'll keep an eye on GLaDOS. With Lil being pregnant, she'll need all your help, and you won't have time to keep tabs on her and the Androids. ATLAS and P-Body, or whatever they want to call themselves, are obviously more trusted than their boss, so keeping an eye on them won't be top priority. If anything seems amiss, I'll let you know and I'll help you throw them out. Until then, enjoy the fact that the giant super computer that tried to kill you and take over your wife's body has compressed herself into a compact casing is now incurring your wife's hormonal pregnant wrath and not you."
Wheatley nodded happily and the two men clinked their soda bottles together. The two men watched as Angie wiggled around, trying to get a hold of Chelly who was climbing all over her in order to get to ATLAS. "We might want to find out what Chelly's fascination with ATLAS is before she tears Angie apart trying to get to him." Dr. Rattmann added.
Inside, Lil watched as GLaDOS "supervised" P-Body scrubbing the upstairs bathroom floor. "I'd say be mindful of the fumes, but seeing as you're a robot, that'd be pointless." Lil remarked as P-Body continued to scrub. "So, exactly how are you helping?" Lil asked.
GLaDOS sighed her mechanical sigh and looked around the bathroom. "I'm supervising." She explained plainly. According to her studies, humans used restrooms as not only a place to relieve wastes, but also as a place of meditation. This confused her somewhat and wondered how anyone could get any thinking done in a place that needed constant sanitation.
"You're not much of a supervisor." Lil mumbled. Rolling her mechanical eyes, GLaDOS dismissed P-Body to examine the work done. P-Body happily left the upstairs and ran downstairs to join the children.
The bathroom was a pretty standard one for a room shared by two small humans. Toys everywhere and cheerful characters adorned the products. GLaDOS did a quick scan of the restroom and cocked her head a bit. Lil folded her arms and watched as GLaDOS examined the toilet. "I'm not showing you how it works, so don't ask." Lil said immediately, as GLaDOS turned around.
"This waste receptacle seems to be malfunctioning." GLaDOS mentioned. She tapped the side of the porcelain bowl a few times and listened to it ping.
"Yeah, I've called a plumber, like, a million times and for some reason, the water in that bowl just won't recede properly. It's a bit beyond Wheatley and Dr. Rattmann's area of repair expertise and I'm sick of paying that plumber to keep coming back to tell me he has to come back another day." Lil mumbled.
"While it's unlikely you actually called him over one million times, I believe I can help resolve your problem without having the idiot or the maniac hurt themselves or paying someone who obviously has no good intentions toward his job. May I see your tools?" GLaDOS asked. A little uncomfortable that GLaDOS was being polite, Lil left the upstairs hallway and came back moments later with a tool box. GLaDOS looked at Lil and shooed her out of the bathroom. After closing the door, Lil was sent a back by the loud whirring and knocking sounds coming from the bathroom.
Lil reached for the door knob just as GLaDOS opened the bathroom door and stepped out. "Try it now." She murmured as Lil walked in. Not only was the bathroom clean with all the bath toys tidy and the toilet paper turned in its proper position, but Lil flushed the toilet and it was working perfectly. "I also tightened up the screws on the handle knobs on the cabinets. They seemed a little loose."
"How did you do that?" Lil asked, amazed.
GLaDOS made a screwing motion with her hand and wrists. "I took the screwdriver, and…"
"No, I mean, how did you fix the toilet?" Lil asked.
"Oh, that was easy. I won't insult you with the basics of waste receptacle repair, but I also made it so it doesn't use as much water. You'll save money and energy. I also made it so the bulbs above the mirror over the sink won't go out. EVER." GLaDOS dusted off her hands and picked up her cleaning bucket to get started on the next task.
Lil blinked a few times and sighed with a smile. "What do you know about lighting?" she asked, taking the bucket from GLaDOS and placing it down. As GLaDOS explained, Lil escorted her downstairs.
Outside, Wheatley found himself helping ATLAS with the lawnmower. It wouldn't start and Wheatley turned it over to take a look. "These blades are there to cut the grass, see? If they weren't there, you'd basically be pushing a gas powered stroller without the seat." Wheatley explained, pretending to know what he was talking about. "Oh, and NEVER put the baby on this thing unless you want Lil to run outside screaming horrible obscenities. I swear, she tells me to spend more time with the kids and do the yard work and then screams at me for finding a way to combine the two. I didn't even get a chance to turn it on."
ATLAS nodded, having accepted Wheatley as his mentor. Dr. Rattmann stayed on the porch with P-Body and the girls. "Grandpa, are Wheatley and Uncle ATLAS going to get hurt?" Angie asked softly. Dr. Rattmann nodded as they watched Wheatley and ATLAS pull things apart on the lawn mower. P-Body shook her head and handed Chelly to Dr. Rattmann. P-Body walked over to the lawn mower and knelt down.
"Now, P-Body, love, we got this under control. We're not sure while it's not moving properly, but we think it has something to do with the blades. Now, ATLAS, when I say 'GO', I want you to turn on the mower so I can dislodge this rock." Wheatley shouted, with ATLAS nodding in agreement. Though she thought it'd be funny to watch Wheatley lose an arm, P-Body shouted for the two to stop. She moved them out of the way and started tinkering with the mechanics of the lawn mower. She even dislodged the stuck rock and handed it to Wheatley. "Oh, I forgot you're good with repair work…" he murmured, as ATLAS turned on the mower. It worked perfectly from then on out.
Back inside, the sounds of the mower relaxed Lil enough to let her guard down around GLaDOS, who had finished looking at the fuse box (it was located in the pantry). "This might be Orange's area of expertise, but I made it so you never have to pay electricity bills again." GLaDOS said, somewhat self-satisfyingly. Lil, looking genuinely impressed, invited GLaDOS to sit down. "If you want, I can make it to where every time the neighbors try to steal your wireless internet, it sends a shock through their keyboards each time they enter a wrong password."
"No, it might confuse Wheatley too much and the less brain cells he loses the better." Lil sighed, pouring herself a glass of lemonade.
"Then when do I get to have fun?" GLaDOS chuckled softly. GLaDOS watched as Lil maneuvered herself to sit in the chair comfortably. Watching this adult human female waddle around all day gave GLaDOS a sick type of enjoyment that only human suffering can give her. GLaDOS did a quick scan of Lil's lower stomach and watched as the small child within her moved around. "Your child…" GLaDOS mumbled.
Lil looked up and sipped her lemonade. "Yes, what about it?" Lil asked.
"Do you know what you are having?" GLaDOS asked.
"Not yet, but my next appointment is my ultrasound. We'll figure it out then. It'll certainly help us narrow down some names." Lil relaxed a bit in her chair as GLaDOS looked her over. When Lil heard a small popping noise outside, she slowly got up and went to the window on the door. GLaDOS reached into her pocket and pulled out something small. She nonchalantly placed it in Lil's drink before Lil could turn around. "I keep telling Wheatley we need a new lawn mower, but he won't listen. I hate loud noises; they can't be good for the baby." Lil rubbed her stomach softly.
Not wanting to seem soft, GLaDOS cleared her throat (despite having no need to do so) and got up. She watched eagerly as Lil drank her lemonade down to the last drop. "Well, let's hope it gets its brains from you and not that moron. I'd hate to see your mother's legacy go down in such idiotic flames because of it." GLaDOS chided as she wandered toward the living room. Lil sighed and shrugged, liking the nice GLaDOS while she lasted.
GLaDOS walked into the living room and sat in Wheatley's recliner again. She noticed on the floor beside the fireplace just a little ways away was something very familiar. Walking over and kneeling down, GLaDOS placed her hand on the burnt companion cube, which housed a picture of Lil and Angie with their mother. GLaDOS picked up the picture and traced her finger along the image of Chell.
"I have more pictures of her, if you want to see them." Lil remarked, surprising GLaDOS.
GLaDOS placed the picture down and regained her composure. "I'd rather clean your toilets." She stated, and walked away with her head held high.
Wheatley and Dr. Rattmann walked in just as GLaDOS made her way upstairs. Assuming she was done with her assigned chores, Wheatley walked up to Lil and kissed her cheek. "The Androids are doing great outside. We decided to let P-Body work the mower and let ATLAS take care of the girls." He said, happily as he pointed outside. Lil meandered over to the window and giggled at Chelly climbing on ATLAS and resting comfortably on his head as Angie gave him a tour of the back yard. They waved to P-Body as she mowed the grass.
"Weird to think that the guy robot would be better with kids and the girl robot would be good with tools." Lil giggled.
"Where's GLaDOS?" asked Dr. Rattmann.
Lil shrugged and looked around. "She was actually more help than I figured she'd be. She 'supervised' cleaning the bathrooms, but she fixed the broken toilet and found us a way to never pay electricity bills again. I never thought I'd say this, but…I think I might actually like having her around."
Not sure if he heard Lil right, Wheatley looked at his wife inquisitively. Lil placed her hand on her stomach and decided to go make lunch. Despite happy faces all around, something still wasn't sitting right with Wheatley about GLaDOS or her Androids. He thought about this through lunch, through the girls and the Androids fighting over the remote after lunch, through Lil yelling at him for eating the last cookie, and through Lil asking him what he wanted for dinner.
At the dinner table, Lil happily served everyone, though she wasn't sure what GLaDOS and the Androids were doing at the table. She sighed and shrugged sitting down to eat with the family. Wheatley felt he was the only one who felt something wasn't right, but he decided to try and let it go, for Lil's sake.
"So, I took a look at your outside air conditioning unit, and if you let me have access to your tools again, I might be able to make it to where intruders get a dose of boiling hot water to the face when they try to break in." GLaDOS mentioned as she watched Angie shovel her little portion of chicken casserole in her mouth. Watching GLaDOS glare at her made Angie sit straight and eat with her mouth closed.
Everyone, except Wheatley, laughed and talked happily around the table.
"Am I the only one who still thinks she's up to something?" asked Wheatley, as he and Lil got ready for bed later that night. Lil would have nodded but let Wheatley have his moment. "And what happened to making her suffer by cleaning our house?" Wheatley looked at Lil, who was wearing her pink pajamas that she bought once her stomach started poking out. Lil put her hand on her pregnant belly and watched Wheatley trace about the room. "She's up to something. I know she is, and I won't sleep until I find out what it is."
"Well, I advise you to get some sleep, because I have some errands I need you to run while I'm at the other bookstore tomorrow. Dr. Rattmann and I are going to train some new people for when the college students come back to town and we're going to need all the help we can get there and around the house. Maybe this is a good thing." Lil got under the covers. "I mean, even if she still plans to steal my body or anyone else's body, she has no means to do it. I doubt she can call forth the forces of the labs from here. I'm not saying we shouldn't be weary, but maybe she actually did just need a break from that place. At least she's quiet."
Wheatley shook his head as he laid down next to Lil. Her hormones made everything construed to her. One minute she could be plotting her revenge, the next she'd be inviting someone to sit for tea. It confused him and now it was getting in the way of something important. Lil turned off the light and snuggled close to Wheatley. Wheatley took off his glasses and placed them on the night stand. As they got comfortable, the sounds of drilling and buzzing woke them up. It was coming from above them, in the attic where GLaDOS housed herself.
"Maybe we spoke too soon…" Wheatley murmured, as he buried his head under his pillow.
GLaDOS continued work on her attic lab well into the night. She had no need for sleep, but her power reserves were depleting fast. Finally finished with what needed to be fixed, GLaDOS connected herself into the computer and waited for the Aperture logo to come onto the screen in front of her.
She made sure her handbag (the patent pending "Aperture Science Travel-Sized Trans-dimensional Storage Carrier, Ladies Edition in white suede") was still close by, as she didn't like to leave without it. Though she had made an exception today, she decided not to part with it again after she glanced at the computer monitors showing the security feeds. She typed something vigorously into the commands and watched as each screen showed her something different.
"Rearranging things, are we? Well, let's see how you like this…" she murmured, prompting some of the test chambers to move about and rearranging a few of the walkways. "I'd better lock them in place before he gets anymore ideas." The typed more commands and then pressed enter. She heard mechanical groaning noises and sat back, somewhat satisfied. "It won't keep, but at least I know where we both stand."
She disconnected herself and went to another monitor. GLaDOS typed in another prompt and on the screen popped the image of a baby in utero. GLaDOS had slipped a microscopic camera into Lil's drink earlier so she could better monitor and research the growth of her child. "Good. Everything seems normal…"
Though she wasn't sure why, GLaDOS was fascinated by the prospect of studying the child Lil carried. The child seemed active and GLaDOS recorded it all.
As she started typing again, GLaDOS heard something near her door. She turned her chair to see a small manila envelope slide under the door. GLaDOS carefully got up and approached it. The top of the envelope read "To the World's Best Supervisor". Her scans indicated that it wasn't anything bad, so she picked it up and opened it. Inside was an old picture of Chell.
If she could cry, GLaDOS would be fighting the urge to. "I don't know why they think I would want a picture of you, you mute freak. Even after you integrated in society, you still couldn't get that weight off. Oh well, not that I ever expected you to actually make it across the field." She growled. GLaDOS took the picture and placed it on the keyboard as she reached into her handbag. She pulled out some tape and taped the picture to the monitor housing the feed of Wheatley and Lil's unborn child.
"You might as well have a front row seat to the excitement, Fatso. You should be grateful, as well. I've taken it upon myself to keep these humans you call family safe." GLaDOS continued to converse with the photograph as if it were actually Chell standing there with her. It sent a good feeling through her systems as she worked at her console. She had to keep things in check. Even though she could technically access the feeds from anywhere in her head, she didn't want to be distracted during the day. It was easier to connect to the facility through an outside source anyway.
It made it harder for HIM to detect her.
N'cha, my lovelies!
I guess we'll find out who really runs the house, won't we? Haha.
So, have you guys been checking out my other works? I've got plenty of side-projects going on to keep you guys in a good mood. My latest addition to is an Elder Scrolls fic called "Mara Save Us" that I'm actually pretty proud of. I might get started on the next chapter of that soon. For those who follow "Playing Favorites", don't worry the next chapter is on its way. I just got side tracked, so don't worry.
I have plenty planned for this story, so no worries, my loves. All I've got is time nowadays. Work, home, fics. I'm oddly dedicated to all of those haha. I'm also working on my novel as well. Oh, did I mention I'm writing a novel as well? I am! It's slow moving at the moment, but I hope to have it finished within the year. Don't worry; it's not a retelling of any of my fics here. It's a totally original concept. What I post here is specifically for you guys and made just for you all. Remember that.
Well, how did I do? Did I do well? Did I bomb completely? Was it funny? Was it rushed? PLEASE LET ME KNOW FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING! Just kidding, haha. But seriously, let me know how I did in the review thingy and keep my stories going!
Read, review, and be merry, my doves!
GLaDOS, Wheatley, ATLAS, P-Body, Chell, and Dr. Rattmann belong to Valve.