Chapter 33: The Story

Damon

Two months he waited. There was nothing. Tanner and Northwood never tried to contact each other and it was so damn frustrating.

Another thing that was frustrating was his own incapability to act like a normal person, a normal man. Things between him and Elena were going great but of course he had to ruin it for himself. She was right there underneath him, responding beautifully to his touch and urging him on with her every sound and every look. She wanted him as much as he wanted her but again he cock-blocked himself and probably hurt her feelings.

She had to know though that his problem had nothing to do with wanting her. There just was this voice in his head that made him stop every time he tried to go for it and give them both what they wanted.

It was fucking embarrassing and he had a hard time looking her in the eyes once he had pulled himself away, again. Then she had mumbled something about staying in Brooklyn and he had a sudden urge to reach underneath the couch cushion.

He had thought that pulling himself back together was a good thing but now it seemed like he did not recognize the person he had become. He just wanted to make sure that he was still in there, that he still loved sex and very expensive booze. Then he remembered that he got rid of the old couch and Elena helped him choose this one. It was made of brown leather, soft and the most comfortable thing he had ever sat on.

There was no secret stash in it.

The couch was not the only change in his apartment since Elena moved in. He had gotten an actual dinner table for the large, empty space behind the couch that he and Elena actually used at dinner. He cooked almost every day now and it was his favorite part of their day. Elena would sit by the kitchen island, sometimes with her laptop but she would forget to use it anyway. She opted to watch him do his thing while they had this ongoing back and forth banter.

The weekends were a whole different story. Apparently women were all about snuggling so there were pillows in different shapes and sizes scattered all over the place, even on the floor. Blankets were, according to Elena, also very important which did not make any sense to him but he liked getting her what she wanted so there was a basket of folded blankets by the couch. Those were put to good use when they would have one of their movie nights. Even with all the pillows, she liked to use him as her pillow and throw a blanket over them both.

Those small moments were everything. He gladly became her private chef, her pillow or even her couch just as long as he could have her beside him. Just being near her made him feel alive and the thought made him cringe in its sappiness but that did not make it any less true. After only two months, Elena had become a vital part of his life and having her gone even if just for one day messed him up. He missed just having her energy around him.

After a while of sitting in silence, staring into thin air and contemplating the possibility of having ruined everything between him and Elena, he turned on the TV and started switching channels mindlessly, not really looking for anything. He landed on a channel airing Bridesmaids and stayed to watch a little bit. His mind drifted to that weekend two months ago, the one that changed everything. They had been watching this movie together and the sexual tension was strung tight between them in spite of the completely unsexy comedy. That weekend, right before things got too heated between them, he had stopped too.

God, he felt so stupid for ruining the moment. He could not even remember the last time he had had sex. It was that long ago.

When did he become this pathetic? Right, the moment he met Elena. Still he did not regret a single moment spent with her.

He started switching channels again when something flashed over the screen too fast for him to register. He started switching back, slowly going through each channel when he landed on the one he was searching for. It was another movie. This one he did not watch with Elena. No, this one he had never seen but he definitely recognized the set. It was New York in the twenties. The scene was in a jazz club, couples were dancing and a slow jazzy track played in the back. One of the couples in particular caught his attention. The woman, strikingly beautiful, brown eyes, dark hair styled in short, time appropriate curls was staring into the eyes of her dance partner with complete adoration, her apparent emotion almost too perfect to be just acting.

The man wore a tux. He sported a light brown mustache. His hair had the same color and was jelled back to perfection. His eyes were latched onto his beautiful lady as he twirled her on the dance floor.

Their chemistry was insurmountable. It flowed right through the screen, formed a nice sharp dagger and twisted into Damon's gut. He was watching his ex, the mother of his kid fawning over her lover, the one she was apparently screwing the whole time while she was with him. This was the same man that later pretended to be a gardener to have a reason to stay in his house and fuck his girlfriend right under his nose.

He could not believe it. She knew him before they moved out of the city. How did he never suspect a thing? How could he be so damn blind for such a long time? This was all happening in the same house where his son was…

He shook himself out of that train of thought. If he let himself dwell on the past, he would never be able to do what he needed to do now which was to get his hands on this motherfucker. The thing was that now he had his real name. It was right there listed under the film information on IMDb.

Mason McKinney.

Now he had something real to go on and no more waiting needed. He grabbed his phone and dialed Aksel as he snatched his jacket and headed for the elevator. He could not stay there one more second. He needed to be on the move or he would start thinking again and that would never end well.

His hopefulness was short-lived because Aksel soon delivered the news that Mason McKinney dropped from the face of the earth approximately at the same time as he and Katherine moved away and he had not reappeared since. Not even his parents had any idea of his whereabouts.

Damon ended up spending the night with Ric. They went to the bar and had more than a couple of drinks then ended up sleeping in Ric's office at the HIH. Ric already knew about Mason so Damon filled him in on the latest developments and spent the rest of the time avoiding the subject and Ric let him which was the exact reason why he liked spending time with the guy.

In the morning, he woke up with a stiff neck and a bad mood that got slightly better once he found a text from Elena saying she was back. He wanted to run back to her right away but he still did not know how to face her and stalling was easier than trying to figure it out.

Finally, Ric got tired of his biting comments and crappy mood and made him leave.

Xxx

He stepped into the lobby of his building, nodding a hello to the doorman as he headed to the elevator. He wanted to prepare himself for what he was going to say to Elena. He needed to explain himself but he just could not find the words and the closer he got the more nervous he became.

He was entirely unprepared for the person he saw inside the elevator once the doors slid open.

"Damon," his father, always stoic and poised, said by way of greeting.

"Father." This was their usual. This was the only form of communication between them and Damon liked to keep it at that. Talking with his father had as much effect as trying to bang his head against the wall to bend it…None.

It had not escaped his notice that his father was in his building during the day which was very strange since Giuseppe had a very strict work ethic and would never go on private matters during office hours.

"I just met the delightful miss Gilbert," he said but Damon heard what he meant. Giuseppe did not like her very much, not that it mattered anyway but it annoyed him that Elena had been subjected to his father's judgmental and elitist attitude.

"Great." He kept his mask of steel. It was a necessity when talking to his father. He could not show any weakness and give him more to exploit. Inside, he just wanted to get this over with so he could get to Elena and he hoped the damage was not too bad but it was highly unlikely.

"We had a nice talk about her future. She seems to be an ambitious young lady, destined for great things. At least she has a decent job, earns a living and seems to know where she's headed in life. You could learn a thing or two from her." His father was alluding to his current unemployment and what he considered his son's general failure in life. He used Elena as an excuse to express his distaste for Damon's choices and was in no way really meaning what he was saying. Damon knew his father too well to fall for his manipulation.

"I'm perfectly content with my life as it is, thank you very much," he said between his teeth. It was getting harder to uphold an unaffected facade.

"Are you? Because it seems like you are following a girl all over town, letting her use your name to make one for herself and destroying yours in the process. Of course it is not only yours but you have always been too selfish to consider anyone else's needs." There it was. He was right, again. His father changed attitude by the second as long as it served his goals and this definitely had nothing to do with Elena or Damon for that matter. It was about him, his name and his precious image.

"You mean your needs," he shouted in anger. Out of the corner of his eyes, he noticed the doorman looking very uncomfortable and doing all he could to keep from watching the family feud unfolding right in front of him. He lowered his voice but the dripping sarcasm was going nowhere. "Were you bullied by the big boys in your snob club about your son going rogue? Well, you know what, dad? I don't give a flying fuck about you or any of them! You can even tell them that you disowned me if that helps."

"Watch your mouth, Damon. Know who you're speaking to," his father said in a warning tone.

This tone used to scare him. His father's whole look in this moment used to scare the shit out of him but he was not that scared little kid anymore. He had grown out of that a long time ago and it was about time that he let his father know what he really thought about him.

"Oh I know exactly who I am speaking to. I'm speaking to the man who never in his life showed any signs of ever caring about any of his sons or even his grandson, the man who only cared about his name to the point where he covered up any signs of his grandson ever existing." His voice broke on that last sentence but he needed to get it all out. He pointed his index finger at his father's chest. "You shoved him in the ground two days after his death and acted like he'd never been there to begin with." He suddenly felt too drained to keep fighting. There was no point in arguing now. "You know what? I am done talking to you. Please leave my building and never come back."

He stepped around his father and went inside the elevator, ending the conversation there. For once, he was the one who had the last word in an argument with his father. It did not feel like a victory though. He only felt a constricting weight on his chest that did not seem to ever want to lift.

He pushed the thought away and focused instead on the damage control he needed to do upstairs. He had no idea what his father had told Elena but it could never be good. The man breathed poison.

When the elevator reached his penthouse, he braced himself for the worst and stepped out.

"Elena!" He called her name tentatively, trying to locate her in the apartment but she did not make a sound so he walked inside searching for her.

He found her in the living room sitting on the couch. He was relieved at first because she seemed okay but then he looked really close. Her eyes stared right ahead, her lips were slightly parted and there was absolutely no indication of what she was feeling on her face which was way more alarming than finding her crying, shouting or throwing things at him.

"Elena?"

She did not respond and stayed right where she was. He got closer and touched her shoulders, still no reaction. He even tried to shake her but she was frozen, catatonic.

"Baby, what did he tell you? You can't listen to him. He's a liar, Elena. He manipulates people." He tried to talk her out of it but she remained unresponsive.

He wrecked his brain for what his father could have told her that made her react this way but he had no idea. It could be anything. He had no shortage of secrets and now he regretted never telling her any of them. If he had just had the chance to explain things to her, maybe she would not have ended up here, being ambushed by his father. He could at least have warned her about his father and the nature of their relationship or lack thereof.

God, why did that man have to ruin everything good in his life? It was like he made it his life's mission to never let him have a moment's peace. "I'm gonna kill him," he said simply and jumped from the couch to go right back where he had come from. Now he wanted to pick up that fight again and maybe this time lay in a punch or two.

"Damon!" He did not even get two steps before he heard it, the sound of her heavenly voice uttering his name. He returned to where he was, taking a seat by her side.

"Yes," he said as he grabbed her hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of it.

She finally turned to look at him. She held his hand between hers and gave him a warm look. He lived for the sight of that look in her eyes.

"I know that it's hard. Believe me; I understand that and that you don't owe me anything but please…" Her eyes were pleading right along with her voice. "…I need to know."

"What? What do you want to know?"

Hope lit up her eyes and her grip tightened around his hand.

"Tell me about Katherine… and your son?"

Elena

It was more of a question than a request because she knew she was out on very thin ice here. Sure enough, all the color drained from his face like he just saw several ghosts dancing the polka in his living room. The brightness of his irises dimmed and he averted his gaze. His silence was deafening and an answer in and of itself.

"Okay," she said, completely defeated. "I understand but you have to understand that I can't live like this. We agreed to try a relationship but I can't live without complete honesty and if you're not ready for that… then we should probably stop here."

"You're leaving?" He sounded desperate.

She stroked his cheek and gave him one last bittersweet kiss. "Goodbye, Damon." She stood up and left to pack her things.

She was shoving her clothes hastily into a small suitcase. The same one she had with her the day she moved in here. The difference now was that she had way more stuff than she could fit in it. Not that she did not try to anyway.

She had a hard time seeing what she was doing because of the constant stream of tears running down her cheeks. It was irrational but she had had hope. For just a second she thought he would trust her, that he would open up and let her in. She was not used to giving up but this time it was either give up or lose her sanity. She could not live with this many secrets. What relationship could they ever build on such a shaky foundation?

She always knew he had a messed up past but she never thought it was like this. He did not just live through a failed relationship. He had a kid for heaven's sake. How did someone move on from something like that? They did not... She would not and all this time she had this false hope that someday he would be ready to start over, to try to open himself up for love again.

In the midst of her packing frenzy, she was roused by the quiet knocking and the soft click of her door opening. She did not turn around and forced herself to keep working. Looking at him hurt too much and she did not want to change her mind about leaving. Staying only postponed the unavoidable heartache of having to leave later.

He did not address her and for a couple of minutes, he just watched her silently.

Then he started talking. "His name was Dan. I named him. He was born on June 5th 2012 and I was the first person to ever hold him after the doctor and the nurses. He was a fussy baby right from the start. I went without sleep for days taking care of him, feeding, changing diapers… the whole deal.

But he was sick, had asthma. It got worse when he got older. I used to stay by his crib at night terrified that he'd get bad without me noticing…"

He kept telling her all about his life with his kid, how he spent all of his time with him, going in and out of the hospital. He also told her about his rocky relationship with Katherine, how she was not able to fill her role as a mother and how they had fight after fight because of her smoking and neglecting their son.

At this point she had stopped packing but she still had her back to him while she listened. Then she was about to turn around but he stopped her.

"Don't! If you turn around, I might not be able to finish."

So she stayed like that, listening to his voice and aching to get closer to him, to be able to hold him but she did what he wanted.

"One year and six months ago, I found her in bed with the gardener…" His voice shook under the weight of his emotions. "The same day, she and Dan both died in an accident." He finished talking. That last sentence he had whispered out almost too low for her to hear but she did and she heard the agony accompanying his words.

Her tears started streaming again, this time because of the heartbreaking story. A moment ago she wanted to hear the truth so bad but now that she had, she almost wished she had not. Ultimately she wished that he had never had to go through it in the first place. But he had and she only knew that she wanted to help make it easier even if she would never be able to make it go away.

"Can I turn around now?"

"Yes."

She turned around and the moment their eyes met, she felt her chest constrict. The pain in his eyes was too much for her. It was laid bare for her to see in all its magnitude and it crushed her, she could not handle it.

He was standing in the doorway, way too far away. She took slow tentative steps towards him, still unsure if he wanted her to stay away. He did not try to stop her though and he did not stop her from reaching for him when she stood on her toes and held him in her arms to comfort herself as much as to soothe him.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

His only response was the tightening of his arms around her waist. She knew how hard it was for him to express his emotions. It was not for his lack of them, because he had plenty, she knew that now. He felt things deeply and way more intensely than other people which made it even harder for him to communicate his emotions, even to himself. That was why he pushed them away and tried to run away from dealing with them.

This made her appreciate his honesty even more.

She pulled away to look into his eyes. She needed him to see how much she appreciated his honesty.

"Thank you, for telling me even though it hurt you," she said cupping his cheeks.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier. If I had, my father wouldn't have been able to use it against you," he said ruefully.

"Don't apologize. You couldn't have known," she said but anxiety remained in his eyes.

"I can't lose you, Elena. I've lost too much already and losing you would end me." He kept himself completely transparent, letting her see the truth in his words for herself. For that moment she knew that losing her would hurt him beyond repair and every cell in her body wanted to prove to him that she would never hurt him like that, that she would do anything in her power to protect him from ever feeling that kind of despair again.

"You won't lose me, Damon. I promise," she said and what she could not communicate through words, she let him know with a kiss.

When she tried to pull back, he grasped her chin and tugged her back to his lips. She felt his desperation in his kisses, in the way his arms held her as close as possible. She wanted to reassure him that she was not going anywhere, that he never had to lose her. He walked them to the bed slowly and when she felt the soft comforter behind her, she dropped down on it. He let go of her for a moment to move her overflowing suitcase to the floor.

When he returned to her side, he looked into her eyes for a moment something akin to adoration shone through the blue in his. He stroked her cheek and then his gaze fell on her lips. His lips followed right after, capturing hers and starting all over again.

He was being slow and gentle. Their ever-present desire simmered in the background but this felt so much more than just desire. Eventually his kisses moved to her jaw, down her neck and behind her ear. He stayed there for a while nibbling her earlobe and the skin below it.

It felt amazing but she reminded herself that they had to stop at some point and after this, it was going to be brutal. "What are you doing?" She breathed.

He put his finger across her lips and kept doing what he was doing, scattering her thoughts and making her forget anything other than feeling his touch.

His finger moved from her lips down to stroke along the curve of her exposed collarbone. She was wearing a V-neck cardigan on top of a simple white top. His hands moved slowly to the buttons holding it together at the front and slid them open one right after the other. He moved his hand around her waist and tugged her closer as he started kissing down her neck and every inch of exposed skin on her chest.

She realized that this was getting way further than they had ever taken it and he did not look like he had any intention of stopping anytime soon. Then it landed on her. Maybe he felt obligated to sleep with her and she cursed herself for acting the way she did yesterday.

She buried her hand in his hair and tugged him away from her. She needed him to listen.

"Damon, stop. We don't have to do this now," she said and her voice shook with the effort of holding off.

His gaze met hers and she saw in his eyes something she had never seen before.

"I want to do this now, Elena. I want you now," he said then he added. "Will you let me make love to you?" His words led to an explosion of fluttering in her stomach that took her breath away for a second.

She thought about it. His eyes convinced her that he really wanted this. He was doing it for himself, because he wanted to, not because he thought she did. She had been ready for weeks. She had been aching to feel as connected to him as possible.

Along with her decision a bright smile broke over her face, "Come here," she said and tugged him back to her, catching sight of his smirk right before he captured her lips.

AN: Hey Guys, I'm very sorry for the long wait but life got busy for a minute. I had to prioritize studying for an exam and around that time I was too stressed to be able to write anything good.

On to the exiting stuff. You Guys are just too amazing to describe. With the last chapter we passed 300 reviews and I just don't know how to thank you enough. I guess, I have to put all my thanks into my writing ;)

Please keep being as awesome as you are and tell me your thoughts. I Love to hear your theories and rationalizations and I keep reading them over and over again whenever I'm stuck during the writing process.

Love you always,

Mydarkside975