Happy New Year y'all! Hope the holidays went great. Back to updating again and I can't wait to get on with it. Big thank you to too much drama 1225, ChelleLew, Tammy, Ctinaisfashion, Bharm, 33, Guest, corbettluv, WWEbabe2442, justkimmy, ItReignsJustice-619, caz21, BillionDollarPrinceStephanie, LuxuriaVanitas, DeeMarie426, mitchy21, Alisi824, nikki1335, Shield316, princessreigns, Olivia Reigns, IRENELOVE83, benova13, Violet Craine, Annabella and Katelin for the reviews. Special hug and kiss to each of you that constantly reviewed in 2014. I'm truly honored that you've all enjoyed this story so much :D
By the way…I've done a bit of editing and revamping for a number of ITDE chapters. Just wanted you guys to know, in case you're reading the story over again and wondering if stuff is different :)
The last chapter was a bit of a cliffhanger. Will we get answers by the end of this one? Enjoy!
Unaware of the chaos that awaited him, an upbeat Joe strolled down the hallway towards Sasha's apartment, armed with a box of red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and a spring in his step. He couldn't wait to tell her all about his productive first day in acting class. Perhaps from there he would be able to segue to the other reason he was visiting her; that he felt the need to clear the air about a certain conversation between them in Pensacola. He recalled the look of shock on her face when he mentioned the sacred M word. She had said nothing in response and very little afterwards. To be fair, he wasn't expecting an immediate response but now they were back home and it was relative silence from her end. Maybe he was being paranoid but he couldn't shake off the feeling that he had made things awkward between them. He hoped that wasn't the case. He needed to know that they were fine and that they weren't on shaky ground because of what he said. The cupcakes would be a great conversation starter, especially as they were her favorites.
He knocked on the door to her apartment, startled the door flew open almost immediately.
"Ty!" Sasha exclaimed, her shoulders slowly slumping with disappointment when she saw it was only Joe, who stood there looking confused. "Sorry," she mumbled, stepping back for him to enter the apartment. "Thought you were T.K."
Pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head, Joe frowned at her unusual demeanor. She seemed jumpy and agitated and even panicked. Even more worrying was she looked like she'd been crying. Peering closely at her, his eyes narrowed. "What happened to your face?" he demanded, gingerly touching the corner of her left eye which looked swollen and bruised. His expression hardened. "Who did this to you?"
Lowering her gaze, Sasha shook her head. She'd tried to ice it down but obviously it hadn't helped much. "It's nothing. It's fine-"
"Don't gimme that shit!" he snapped, "That ain't nothin' and you're not fine. You look like you're expecting to get jumped or something." When she kept silent, anger began to well up within him. "Sasha, tell me what happened."
Gosh, he was flipping out already and that was not what she needed right now. Still, she took a deep breath and relayed the traumatic events that occurred earlier in the day. For all the despicable things her ex-boyfriend had said and even attempted, it was the look on her son's face that she couldn't get out of her head. The disappointment, the contempt, directed towards her. Like she had sold him down the river for crawling back to his deadbeat father for help. It hurt her heart, her soul. If she could turn back time she would have stayed away from Tyson and continued to pretend like he didn't exist like she always had, if only to wipe away that horrid look T.K. had given her.
Joe listened to Sasha's story, growing more and more furious at the thought of that piece of shit putting his hands on his woman. "That motherfucker!" he fumed, pacing back and forth in the kitchen, his shoulders rippling angrily beneath his shirt. "I'll kill him! I'll beat his fuckin' ass!"
Sasha sat back down on the kitchen table where she'd been waiting for T.K. "Babe stop. It's not worth it."
"The fuck are you talkin' about? He tried to assault you! Hell, he did! Look at your face! And why didn't you tell me about this sooner?"
"You were busy, I didn't wanna bother you," said Sasha.
"Maybe I was, but you could have at least texted me," Joe countered, "It's been what, two, three hours since it happened? Why would you keep something like this from me?"
"Keep your voice down, Mia's in my room! And it wasn't like I set out to keep anything from you! Please don't overreact-"
"Overreact? If I heard correctly your ex-boyfriend walked into your own home and tried to force himself on you! What if he-" he started to say, then stopped, refusing to complete the horrific thought.
"He didn't, okay Joe? He didn't. I stopped him," Sasha insisted, her head in her hands as fresh tears sprang to her eyes. "Please babe, I can't argue with you right now. T.K. took off and I don't know where he is. He's turned off his phone and I can't reach him and I have no idea where to start looking. I don't know what to do!"
Seeing how worked up she was, Joe ran a hand over his sleek hair and forced himself to calm down. Shelving his ire for the moment, he sat down next to her and rubbed her arm reassuringly, "Hey, relax. He's probably just cooling off somewhere," he said gently. "If it'll make you feel better, I'll wait here with you until he gets back."
Sasha wiped a tear from her cheek. "You don't have to do that."
"I want to," he asserted. "I don't think you should be left alone in the state you're in."
Sasha made a face as though she wanted to argue, but she gave in, flashing him a weak smile. "Okay."
Yeah, she was definitely acting weird. He chalked it up to her anxiousness. "It's okay, nani. He's going to be fine."
"But that's the thing, I don't know that."
"What do you mean?"
"Since I've been back he's been moody and he's refused to tell me anything," Sasha bemoaned, her voice cracking. "I don't know what he's been up to while I was gone. You should have seen him today Joe...he was so mad. Like he'd been holding something inside him for so long and it finally just burst out. I'm his mother and I don't know what's going on with him." She sniffled, resting her head on the table in despair. "I never should've gone to Pensacola. If I stayed home I'd have known why he's so angry and this wouldn't be happening."
Her voice was muffled but he heard every word, and they stung. He chewed the inside of his cheek and scratched his scruffy jaw awkwardly. He knew she was upset and emotional but he would have been lying if he said that the statement did not feel like a slap in the face.
Oblivious, Sasha dried her eyes and stood up. "Um...so do you want anything while you wait?"
"No. I'm good."
Pausing, she was surprised at his suddenly harsh tone, but she was more taken aback by the wounded expression on his face. And then she realized what she had said; how it must have sounded, and she wanted to slap herself. "Joe...baby, I didn't mean it like that," she implored.
"Sure," Joe muttered, crossing his arms, a deep frown on his face. Before she could say more to defend herself, the door to her room opened and Mia sauntered out. "Ty-Ty's not back, Mama?" she questioned.
"No, baby." She forced a smile for her daughter's benefit. "He's probably still with his friends. He'll be home soon."
"Okay." Mia clambered onto Joe's lap and peered at the box of cupcakes on the table. "Who's that for?"
Finally tearing his cold gaze away from his girlfriend, Joe plastered a smile on his face. "I bought them for your mom, little lady. You want one? I'm sure she'll let you have one if you asked nicely," he said.
"Of course you can, baby," said Sasha, opening the box for her daughter. As the little girl struck up conversation with Joe, Sasha looked on wearily, glad for the distraction but wondering how she was going to clean up the mess she just made.
It was well past one in the morning. Man, she was going to be pissed. If she was awake, that is. He hoped not. He entered quietly and shut the door just as noiselessly, not wanting to wake anyone up. He was glad his room was opposite the front door so he could dash inside without making a sound.
"Come here."
He cursed under his breath. Locking the front door, he ambled slowly towards his kitchen, where his mother and to his surprise, Joe, sat at the kitchen table. Watching her rise to her feet, his countenance remained defiant and he braced himself for his mother's indignation.
"You left this house seven hours ago," she stated, checking her phone on the table for the time. "Where the hell you been all night?"
Averting his gaze, T.K. cleared his throat. "I was with Lamar," he murmured.
Sasha stared at him, digesting this information, and then nodded. "Ohhhhh. I see. You sellin' dope now, huh?" she accused, rising to her feet.
"Why not Ma! We don't have anything!"
"Are you crazy? You should be concentrating on school, not running around with that good for nothin' boy!" Her gaze zeroed in on the object in his hand. "What's in that bag? Gimme that." Before he could react, she snatched the schoolbag from his hand and unzipped it. The first thing she saw was a rolled-up wad of fifty dollar bills, and she forced down the bile crawling up her throat. She couldn't even bring herself to touch it. "What's this? The money you made tonight, sellin' all that crack and weed? Huh? Are you out of your damn mind?"
"Lamar makes three large every other week, do you know that?" T.K. argued. "You've been working your ass off for years and how much do you make? I'm busting my ass, trying to get good grades and get me an athletic scholarship from them snooty-ass schools and what do I get? Nothing! I'm tired of it!"
"And this is your solution? You think if they hear you been involved with drugs they'll want anything to do with your punk ass?" Sasha shot back, her voice rising with anger. "I told you to stay away from Lamar and you disobeyed me. So if you think you too good for my rules, if you wanna sell dope, then you best get the hell outta my house."
T.K. blinked. "What?"
"Are you deaf? I said get out of my house!" She threw his bag back at him with brute force, and T.K. barely caught it as items spilled out of the bag onto the floor. He gawked at his mother, horrified. "Where am I gonna go?" he asked.
"I don't give a damn! I've done everything, I've tried to keep you on the right path. But if you wanna become a drug dealer, you wanna make 'three large every other week' too, you go right ahead. There's the door. Pack your shit and get gone."
"No, Mom, I'm not going anywhere!"
"No child of mine is gonna sell dope! Not under my roof, you hear me? Ain't nobody gon' call me at fuckin' two a.m., tell me you got killed," she shouted, tears spilling down her cheeks as memories of her ordeal with Cliff swam through her mind. "I won't put myself through that again. No way."
"Mama, please!"
Joe, silent all this time, stepped forward. "Sasha-"
"Stay out of this!" Without looking at him she threw her hand up in his face, then pointed at T.K. "You made your choice by defying me, boy. You better be prepared to live with that choice."
"No Mom, if I leave you then I'll be leaving like all those other guys that used you and left you alone," T.K. argued.
"Well guess what, honey? I'm used to it." Stalking over to the door, she threw it open and glared at him. "Get out."
"What about Mia? She's gonna ask about me," T.K. said, desperate now.
"You leave her out of this," she spat. "And you better pray to God you haven't woke her up or I will more pissed off than I am now. Leave, Ty. I don't wanna see you or that blood money in my house again."
T.K. stood rooted to the concrete floor, his face streaked with tears. Tentatively, Joe stepped past his girlfriend and over to her son, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Go wait for me in the car," he instructed, handing him the keys.
Surprise and hope washed over the boy's features as he gazed at the older man, before he finally took the keys and did as he was asked. Once he was gone Joe refocused on Sasha. Gently taking hold of her upper arms, he said, "Look, I know you're angry and you got every right to be. You both need some space from each other right now. I'll take him home for the night so you can cool off, and then bring him back tomorrow. Is that okay with you?"
She shrugged, brushing her hand underneath her eye as she glanced away. "Do whatever you want. I don't care," she said angrily.
"If you didn't care you wouldn't be feeling the way you feel right now." He watched her for a long moment. "Get some sleep, okay? Clear your head. I'll see you tomorrow."
With that, he walked out the door, leaving her alone in the middle of the tiny apartment. Sasha hugged herself as more tears streamed down her face, breathing shakily as she tried to figure out what to do with herself. Her tear-filled gaze fell upon the papers that had fallen out of T.K.'s bag, causing a mess on the floor. Bending down, she sifted through them, half-expecting to discover more money or even a bag of illegal substances. Among the litter was an envelope with the logo of a University, one of the few T.K. had applied to. Curiosity got the better of her, and withdrawing the letter inside, she opened it up and read the bold caption at the top:
FINANCIAL AID DENIED
Pushing open the front door to his house, Joe ushered T.K. inside. "You can stay with us tonight, let your mom calm down," he said kindly. "Jon's got the guest room but you can sleep in mine if you want." It was moments like these that Joe wished he'd furnished the two other bedrooms in the house but he was never around to get to it.
"That's okay. I'll take the couch," said T.K., going over to the sofa and settling down on it. He paid no notice to Jon who shuffled into the living room, his short hair disheveled. Joe smirked at his friend. "Can't sleep?"
"Nope." He halted as he scrutinized T.K., noticing the devastated expression on his face. Joe cast him an "I'll explain later" look, and the Cincinnati native shrugged and went to set up the Call of Duty game on the X-Box, grabbing the controllers and handing one to T.K. "Wanna play?"
T.K. shook his head, staring blankly at the TV, his knees drawn up to his chest. "Not really."
Watching him for a beat, Jon dropped the second controller and went about playing on his own, keeping the volume down since it was late. "Wanna talk about it? I won't lie and say I'm a great listener, but I try."
For a moment the teen was quiet. Then, exhaling heavily, he launched into the story. Joe had disappeared and returned with a pillow and blanket. Handing them to T.K., he sat on the teenager's other side, listening to him talk while watching Jon shoot up everything in sight. T.K. ended his narrative with another deep breath, waiting for someone to pass judgment on him.
"Do you know I've been arrested before?" Joe said, following several seconds of quiet.
Surprised, T.K. turned to him. "What happened?"
"Disorderly conduct. I was a Georgia Tech freshman, a frat initiation gone awry. Luckily we weren't formally charged otherwise I'd have a record by now. Unfortunately my dad found out about it, and I learned the very hard way that I'm never too old to get my ass whooped by my pops."
"I never knew that," said T.K., awestruck.
Joe chuckled. "Well, it ain't somethin' I like to broadcast to the world. But I'm very aware that it could have screwed up my future ambitions in a big way." He faced the teen. "Look, I won't sit here and lecture you, because you grown. You know what you did and you know why it made your mother so angry. It was a reckless decision and you coulda gotten seriously hurt or worse. Maybe your friend hasn't filled you in on the violent side to the business but more often than not, it tends to get real bad in a hurry. And then where would that leave your mom? Mia? Everyone that cares about you, us included," he said, gesturing between himself and Jon.
Eyes fixed on his hands, T.K. willed away the resurgent tears. It was bad enough that one of the men had already seen him cry tonight. "I was just looking for a way to take care of them, that's all," he defended. "That was all it was. Mom doesn't like when anyone else does stuff for her because she's so proud. She doesn't want to be seen as a charity case. She's been toiling and laboring for so long on her own and it's all my fault."
"Why would you say it's your fault?" asked Joe.
T.K. blew out a shaky breath. "I've never told anyone about how bad I always feel."
"About what?"
"Existing."
Had he not been sitting beside him, Joe may not have heard him. "What?" he said, puzzled.
"If I hadn't been born, Mom would have finished high school," said T.K., his voice smaller than ever. "She'd probably have gone to College and been whatever she wanted to be in life and been great at it. But she was so occupied with raising me and taking care of me that she put everything else in the backburner. I derailed her hopes and dreams. She'd be in a much better situation financially if it weren't for me."
Joe was stunned to hear this. "That's not true, T.K. You can't blame yourself for what she went through."
"Maybe. But I can't help it. I'm probably always going to feel that way. My father keeps using me to taunt her and I don't know how she doesn't resent me."
"You know, your pops reminds me of mine," Jon spoke up for the first time. He looked neither fazed nor appalled by a word the teenager had said. "Total douchebag. Couldn't stand the fucker. Never around, didn't give a crap if I was dead or alive. I was dead to him, and vice versa. I think that's the only thing we agreed on, to stay out of each other's way."
Intrigued, T.K. sat up straight as Jon went on, the older man's blue eyes fixed on his gameplay as he spoke. "My mom was no different. Never had a problem humiliating me or telling me what a big fuck-up I was at every opportunity. Left me to fend for myself while she was running around the city with her flavor of the fuckin' week. Paints a great home picture, doesn't it?
"Your mom is the total opposite. You and your sister are all she talks about. She loves you to death and would take a bullet for you. She's there for you always, not to mention she's providing security and stability. I know people that would kill for a relationship like that. There's nothing more valuable than the unconditional love and respect of a parent, and there's nothing more important than returning that love and respect. I know how you feel, kid. I get it, trust me. But you crossed a line by throwing your mom's rules in her face. You disrespected her, and the only thing you should be thinking about now is how you're going to fix that. And you have to. There's no room whatsoever for argument because she deserves that much. The rest can be solved later. And that's all I gotta say about that."
Joe cut his gaze back to T.K., who nodded reverently. The kid looked up to Jon, and the Samoan knew he would take his Shield brother's words to heart. "You made a mistake tonight," said Joe. "But we all make mistakes. Owning up to them and stepping up afterwards is what truly matters, and it's what will matter to your mom."
"I will apologize to her," T.K. stated resolutely. "But I need her to know that I'm gonna do whatever it takes to take care of her, to protect her and my sister. Because I know in the end when it comes down to it, I'm the one who will always be there for her, who will never abandon her like everyone else."
Again, the statement was not made maliciously, but Joe had a sinking feeling that it was somewhat directed at him. Having no response to give, he simply patted T.K.'s shoulder.
Jon shook his head vigorously and shuddered. "Are we done with Sappy Hour now? I swear I felt some of my masculinity drain from me a minute ago."
Laughing a little, T.K. leaned back on the couch, watching Jon's game and feeling slightly better. Beside him, Joe watched half-heartedly, the loud sounds of mayhem and destruction on the TV drowned out by the thoughts crashing around in his mind.
The next morning, Joe pulled up at the familiar building complex, with a nervous T.K. in the passenger's side. He couldn't blame the kid. Who knew what mood his mother would be in after last night? Sasha's face was expressionless when she opened the door to the apartment, making T.K. even more nervous. She seemed to have calmed down but he couldn't really tell, and he had to tread lightly. "Mama," he greeted meekly, his entire being wracked with nerves.
Her features remained stoic. "Go inside."
He obeyed without a word, disappearing inside his bedroom. Sighing heavily, she leaned against the door frame and looked up at Joe. "Hey," she said softly. "You okay?"
"Yeah." His answer was stiff. "You?"
Crossing her arms, she glanced back at the door to her son's room. "Been better."
He glanced over her shoulder into the apartment. "Take it easy with him, alright? He's been beating himself up about this."
Nodding slightly, she met his eyes, noting the frostiness in them. "Joe, I said some things to you last night-"
But Joe shook his head. "This ain't about me, Sash," he replied flatly. "It's about your son. You two need to work things out. We'll talk in due time."
"Okay." She leaned towards him to kiss his cheek but he had already turned his back, heading for the staircase without so much as a goodbye. Dismayed, she stared after him, and remembered there was a bigger issue to deal with. Joe would have to wait. She shut the front door and entered her son's room where he sat nervously on the bed, with Mia next to him resting her head on his shoulder. Sasha went over to the little girl and gently ruffled her hair. "Baby, could you give your brother and me a minute alone?" she asked.
"Okay, Mama." She could sense there was something wrong but said nothing as she quietly exited. T.K. stood up before his mother, his eyes fixed on the ground in shame and remorse. She observed him, crossing her arms. "I found the financial aid letter from one of the schools," she stated, her tone much softer than he expected it to be.
He dared to meet her eyes again, and for the first time he clearly saw the bruising above her left eye. Swallowing down his guilt, he nodded. "That was the third one. Three applications and all of 'em rejected. I was angry, Ma. How am I gonna get into College? We barely get by at home and the bills pile up every day. I do see them Ma, no matter how much you try to hide them. And then that excuse for a sperm donor shows up here and thinks we should kiss his ass before he helps us? It's so unfair."
"We could have talked about this."
"Talking's only gotten us so far, Ma. Plus you've been with Joe and you've been happy lately and I didn't want to ruin that for you."
"Tyson, Joe knows that you and Mia are the most important people in my life, and he's accepted that. I thought you and I agreed to trust each other. That we're a team and you can come to me for anything. But you went off with Lamar instead. How do you think that makes me feel?"
"I know Ma, I do. I'm just tired of struggling and seeing you struggle to provide for me and Mia and keep this family together and I wanted to do something about it. I went about it the wrong way, but I was doing it for you. You've sacrificed so much for us. I made you sacrifice so much. If I hadn't been born..." Chastened, he averted his gaze again, his voice trembling. "You deserve a better life than this. You deserve better than me and I'm sorry."
Those words ripped her heart clean in two. Closing a hand around the back of his neck, she forced him to meet her eyes. "Don't you ever say that again. Ever," she said fiercely. "Listen to me carefully. I couldn't have asked for a better life because I have you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Tyson Kendrick, the absolute best. My life woke up, I woke up, stepped up, because of you. I wouldn't trade you or your sister for the world. I love you both so much and all I want is for you to be and safe and healthy and successful and ultimately, happy. I told you I'll work this all out and I will. We still have some time. I can get loans, I'll sell off the gifts Joe gave me-"
"You can't do that. He gave you those gifts," T.K. said sternly.
"I know, but I have no problem doing that for you is the point I'm trying to make. Anything is better than going down the road you went last night. That can never happen again, do you understand me? It can't." Tears welled up in her eyes as she spoke. He probably didn't remember the details about Cliff, Mia's father; didn't know what he had been put through. He was only a little boy then. "I've seen firsthand what that business does to people. I can't lose you too. I need you, Ty."
Overwhelmed by emotion, he launched himself into his mother's arms. Falling asleep the night before had been difficult as he came to terms with his rash actions. That he had brought his mother to tears, just like his father had, just like Cliff – yes, he remembered him vividly, and the only reason he didn't hate the man outright was because he gave him a little sister – broke his heart. All he wanted was for her to be proud of him, to trust him, and he betrayed her. He vowed to make it up to her for the rest of his life. He would never make her cry again. "I'm not going anywhere, Mama. I love you so much and I'll never let you down again," he swore.
Moved, Sasha kissed his cheek and hugged him tightly. "I love you too, baby. It's not the end of the world. We're gonna be alright. I promise."
Phew. Interesting things said by many people in this update, especially T.K. whom I've admittedly grown so fond of :') Thoughts? My special new year present would be lots and lots of (hopefully positive) feedback. Wink wink.
Enjoy the rest of the holidays, loves! Mwah!