He couldn't sleep. They had expected him to sleep, but he couldn't. He was exhausted and he had been up for so long right now, but still he wasn't tired, not enough to sleep anyways. All he could think about was the abused form of his little brother.
His presumed dead brother. It had been a full year already, a full year of missing him, being the only one of the 'B team' And he had missed his only little brother every second of that year, Every day he had woken up, and every night that passed. but in a way he had accepted it.
He learned to live with the silence, the mood around the lair which had changed so much the last year. It was never the same without Mikey's laughter. The sound of him playing video games or the screams that echoed through the lair when Raph was chasing him, again.
He missed every single noise of it. And he would die just to hear it one more time, anything. A cry, a laugh, even a single word would mean the world to him, but they never granted him that, his little brother, Mikey. He left, without being able to make any noise.
Shredder had brutally slaughtered him, the whole park had been covered in blood. And right then he had cursed his medical knowledge. He knew how much blood someone could lose, but the amount of blood that was on the grass, mixed with Mikey's nun chucks, it was too much.
There was no questioning he had bled to death. Shredder had sent Mikey's shattered mask, along with his gear the next day. All were stained with blood and the last cries of his little brother. He still had the CD. The disk that held Mikey's last cries.
So many times Donnie had played it, how much it hurt him. The cries were full of pain, and they eventually died out. Blood could be heard, the blood they found in the park. There was just so much, and even the rest knew there was no way Mikey had survived. But he listened to it, just to hear Mikey's voice again.
The cries were the last sounds his little brother had ever made, up until now. He didn't believe it when April told him. Mikey had been dead so long, he had given up already, he had accepted it but then everything changed when he saw his little brother, sitting on the couch.
It couldn't be real. His little brother had died, but yet he was there, sitting right in front of him and hurt. Fear written all over his face. He had no idea what had happened to him, but he knew it was all his fault. They had left him, without checking the blood was his.
He groaned slightly and sat up, looking around the room. He was lying on a mattress in the spare room in April's aunt's house. On the other side of the room was Casey, fast asleep. His mouth was partly open and he was snoring slightly, his arm covering his eyes.
Slowly Donnie brought his three-fingered hand to his face and rubbed his eyes. He sighed slightly and eventually stood up, tying his mask around his head and walking outside, he hadn't even bothered to take his other gear off during the night. He couldn't get any sleep, even if he wanted to.
Using his ninja training he walked outside the room without waking Casey, and walked towards the living room. Leo and Raph were sitting on chairs next to the couch, both sad expressions on their faces. Tears lingering in their eyes but far from falling.
"How is he?" Donnie whispered as he approached his brothers. Leo and Raph both lifted their heads slowly. The troubled looks on their faces already said enough, but honestly he wasn't expecting something else. Mikey's mind had been shattered, he was mentally broken.
"He woke up half an hour ago, and we cleaned him before he went to sleep again." Leo said shortly, not even bothering to lecture Donnie about waking up, before returning to the sleeping form of Mikey again. Sweat was trickling down Mikey's head and his face was contracted with pain but the dirt and blood was gone.
"He was terrified Don, I think they did something with water" Leo added after a few seconds, his voice pained as he remembered the terrified whimpers of his little brother. Donnie sighed and walked over to the couch, sitting on the edge. Carefully he placed his hand on Mikey's forehead.
His head was a bit warmer than normal but for now that wasn't something they were worried about. Mikey whimpered in his sleep, tossing slightly and trying to get the hand away but he kept sleeping, never awakening.
Suddenly Donnie's head shot up. "Has anyone called Splinter?" He whispered, his eyes wide when realization hit him. Leo and Raph seemed to have the same reaction, their eyes widening with fear and disbelieve. They had forgot about their own father.
"I can't believe it..." Leo hissed and immediately grabbed his t-phone. "I'm such a horrible.." Leo said, mentally beating himself up when Raph put a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head slightly. Leo glanced over to Raph, trying to keep his emotion in check.
"Don't think about that Leo... just call him right now" Raph said, turning towards Mikey. "He needs to see him too, right now" Leo nodded slightly before quickly dialing his father's number and calling him. Mikey's whimpering died out a little but Donnie never pulled his hand back.
He felt so bad for his little brother, the moment Donnie first saw him, he knew he was terrified. His baby blue eyes were filled with fear and his body covered with blood and dirt. His arms and legs bandaged and he was afraid. Every touch and every sound freaked him out already.
Donnie and Raph watched how Leo quickly left the room, his t-phone pressed against the side of his head, waiting for his dad to pick up. Leaving Donnie and Raph alone with their sleeping brother.
"Why won't he talk Don?" Raph whispered once Leo was gone. Raph's head slowly lifted, revealing his tear-stained eyes. Donnie could feel his stomach turning painfully. He noticed his little brother hadn't talked the time they had seen him.
But hearing he hadn't talked at all when he was gone, hurt him. He allowed Raph and Leo to bathe him, he trusted his brothers to touch him and yet, he never spoke. Not even a single word escaping his lips, trying to say something, or asking for something.
"I don't know Raph… " Donnie sighed in defeat. He had absolutely no idea why Mikey wouldn't talk. Mikey trusted them, he knew he did. But for some reason, Mikey didn't want to talk, or he wasn't up to it yet. And he didn't want to talk just yet.
"Do you think… they did somethin' to him, like cutting out …" Raph stopped mid-sentence and looked away. He couldn't think about it. The possibility of his baby brother never being able to speak again, it scared him. And he had no idea how it would affect Mikey himself.
But they could've done it, to end all the screams he was letting out. Just cutting out his tongue, or his voice box so he would never be able to scream or talk ever again. They could do whatever they wanted to do, without having to listen to his cries for the sweet relief, begging to make the pain go away and leaving him alone.
"I don't think so" Donnie whispered, slowly revealing the neck of Mikey. "He doesn't have any scars on his neck and ….he still has his tongue" Tears appear in Donnie's eyes and he quickly covers his little brother with the blanket, who immediately grabbed it, curling his body around it but still not waking.
"So why won't he talk Don? I don't understand" Raph said, totally lost. He wanted to hear his voice again. He wanted to hear the familiar laughter of him, or the taunts he would always make. He would even be happy with a single world, anything.
"Raph, whatever happened to him…. They dissected him, and chained him. He has been in that lab for a whole year. Experimented on, cutting into him and studying him…" He swallowed tickly, a lump forming in his chest, his heart painfully beating against his plastron.
He just couldn't believe someone would do something like this. He couldn't believe someone could be so ruthless, chaining and muzzling him. They dissected him, and Donnie didn't even know if he was awake or not during the process. And he couldn't imagine the pain his little brother went to, both physical and mental.
"And we left him for death… he waited for us all this time" Raph almost screamed but contained himself for Mikey's sake. His fingers were bailed into tight fists, his knuckles turning white and tears streaming down his face. He had left his baby brother, left him for death.
He had been so devastated by the death of his little brother, that he didn't think about the possibility he was still alive. He too listened to the CD that was sent to them, and even he didn't think that Mikey could still be alive. Mikey was counting on them, hoping for them to come every day, but they never did.
Shredder had burned his body, at least he said that. And not even Donnie checked if the blood was Mikey's, and suddenly all became clear. It wasn't Mikey's blood, not all of it. Raph gritted his teeth. Mikey suffered because he'd been too lazy, too lazy to check if it was Mikey's blood, or why Shredder would do such a thing.
"Don't cry Raph" Donnie whispered as he wrapped his arms around Raph's shoulder, squeezing slightly. "Mikey will get better, it isn't your fault" Raph whimpered slightly and burrowed his face in Donnie's plastron, trying to hold back his tears, but they kept flowing. How much he hated it.
Donnie swallowed tickly again, forcing his own tears back. His grip on his immediate older brother tightened slightly, pressing him tighter against his plastron. In the other room he could hear Leo talking to his father in Japanese, but he was too busy with Raph to notice what he was saying, and eventually the conversation ended.
"Sensei is on his way, he'll be here in a few minutes" Leo said, walking into the room again. Donnie looked up to Leo but Raph kept his face burrowed in Donnie's plastron. The purple banded turtle didn't seem to mind, Raph needed someone to hold onto now, not that he would ever admit it.
"We should wake before Sensei gets here" Raph suddenly said, pulling out of the hug. He carefully wiped his tears away, trying to act like it hadn't happen. Leo nodded slightly, understanding. If father would come, he would want to see Mikey, awake and alive. And suddenly waking him would only frighten him even more.
Raph nodded back before carefully walking over to the sleeping form of his little brother. His shell was still towards them, his arms were folded around the blanket, clinging to it like his life depended on it. Raph carefully placed a hand on Mikey's shoulder, nudging it slightly.
"Mikey, buddy?" He whispered, keeping his voice low so he wouldn't startle him. Mikey whimpered slightly in his sleep, stirring slightly but not waking up yet. "You have to wake up Mikey, dad will be here soon, you want to see him right?" Raph said, trying to get Mikey to wake up.
He nudged his shoulder again, harder this time. Mikey's eyes flew open and he let out a frightened sound, a mix of a hiss and a scream. He turned on his shell within seconds, scrambling backwards and bringing his blanket up to his plastron, trembling and his eyes wide with fear.
"Mikey?" Donnie whispered, walking up to his little brother and lowering himself, so he wouldn't frighten him too much. Slowly the big baby blue eyes trailed from Raph to Donnie, watering in the process. Tears staining them. Mikey's plastron was rising and falling quickly, way too quickly.
His mouth was partly open, trying to suck in all the oxygen he could get. None of them said anything, Donnie only staring at the terrified look on Mikey's face and his trembling form. They did so much to him, things he didn't even know yet, but he knew they did things. And it honestly made his blood boil with anger.
"Mikey, don't be scared please" Raph whispered as he painfully watched his brother heaving with fear. He carefully stood up again, reaching out for his little brother slowly, just as they did the previous night. Raph's fingers were shaking, his eyes focused on Mikey's eyes.
"It's …" Raph started, trying to comfort him but was unable to finish. His hand neared Mikey and suddenly a loud hiss escaped Mikey's lips, harder and more scared than ever, threatening his older brother and with one swift movement he shot up, jumping towards Raph and knocking him backwards.
Raph let out a small grunt of pain when his shell was forced into the glass table behind him from the force. A loud shattering sound rang through the whole house and Raph's shell hit the ground with a loud bang, glass being crushed beneath it.
"Mikey what are ya….?!" Mikey growled dangerously and bared his teeth, pressing his thumbs against Raph's neck and applying pressure. Raph's face flushed with fear, feeling the oxygen being cut off. His hands tried to take Mikey's hands off but the grip was too strong, Mikey was too strong.
He gasped, trying to take in the oxygen but he couldn't get any. Mikey's eyes were narrowed with determination but fear was present too. The same fear that would be in his eyes after a nightmare, or after a dangerous attack, but it was way worse this time. He was absolutely petrified.
Tears were starting to leak down Mikey's cheeks as he continued to press against Raph's throat, every second a little bit more pressure. Raph was clawing at Mikey but his baby brother wouldn't let him go, and slowly Raph could feel his limps giving in to the loss of oxygen and his vision was slowly starting to get black.