Chapter 44

"So is this okay?" asked Sam running his hands down Quinn's back, letting his fingers fall through her hair with each pass. "I had planned to take you to my suite at the Beacon."

"Oh yeah?" she asked, sort of mocking his shyness. It was cute that he seemed a little nervous.

"No, I mean, not like that. Just you, alone, so you'd have someplace to stay," he stammered, clearly flustered. Quinn squeezed her arms around his waist to calm him. He relaxed into her, letting his body touch her completely. "I sort of sprung this whole leaving the hospital thing on you."

"It was a big surprise. Did I say thank you yet?" Quinn asked feeling suddenly warmed by their closeness.

"About fifty times," he laughed.

"Well here's fifty-one," she said kissing him on the cheek, her hand caressing the side of his face.

"I'm truly enjoying your gratitude." He smiled as he pulled away. "But you didn't answer me. Are you okay with us staying here tonight, together?"

"Yes," she said looking down shyly. "I want to be alone with you."

"Good." His voice cracked "I want to be alone with you too," he said clearing his throat. "Mike is still over there booking our room and Kali has been bugging me to come talk to her, so you think you'll be okay by yourself for a few minutes? I won't be long."

"I'll be fine. Stop worrying."

Sam hadn't let go of her since they left the car, his hand always somewhere on her body. Quinn loved it, made her feel safe and protected, which she needed tonight. Being free was a little disconcerting. Sounds were louder, lights too bright, she felt off balance. Sam was like a rock, holding her steady.

"I can't help it. I feel like if I let you out of my sight you might disappear."

"I'm here. For good," she said resting her head on his chest. He placed a kiss on her forehead, as she hugged him close. It felt so nice being in his arms again.

"I'll be right back," Sam said backing toward the door, still holding her hand, only dropping it when their arms could stretch no further.

Quinn watched Sam's retreating form as he exited out of the lobby doors of the hotel, a smile lingering on her face. The night had been a whirlwind, one moment she was stressing out about seeing Sam with Iley, the next she was holding his hand in the visiting room, and now she was kissing him in the middle of a hotel lobby, free from the hospital. Her head was spinning from the rush of happiness that suddenly fell into her life. It was just like Sam to bulldoze back into her world, filling it with smiles, and hope, and kisses. Oh those kisses, she could barely believe he had kissed her like that, in Mike's car no less. Quinn had been having recurring dreams about Sam, her subconscious exploring all the physical ways they could be together, but never did she truly think it could happen for real. Yet here she was standing in the lobby of a Holiday Inn in middle of nowhere Ohio, with her lips still stinging from the intensity of their kisses.

Caught up in him, that's how it had felt to Quinn, in the car. She had been so uncomfortable trying not to react to Mike's passive aggressive attacks, and Sam's questions, she had almost wished she were back in the hospital. She could have been in her bed, giggly with Iley, and safely dreaming of being with Beth and Sam again. Reality was a bit too painful with Mike in the driver's seat holding the power to crush them in his hands. Just when she thought she might break, unable to take any more of it all, Sam had made it all right, sensing her distress and helping her relax. Sitting so close to him was a sort of peace on its own, just knowing he was alive and able to be near her again, filled Quinn with relief. But when he had kissed her all that peace left her body, and a heat rose within her as she was drawn toward him. There was only the two of them, drifting on some unknown plane, far from the awkwardness of the car, it was just them.

Something was still there, between them, something Quinn had feared was lost. It hadn't felt the same, the night they conceived Beth, they had made love but it wasn't about being with each other, not really. He had kissed her intensely that night, he couldn't get close enough, quick enough, everything was at a fevered pace. Not a rush from passion or excitement, but a rush to find anything to help him feel better, to forget. Quinn had found herself wanting nothing more that night than to be there anyway he needed. It had been so long since Sam had come to her wanting anything that felt this important. Sure their friendship had deepened that year and he had confided in her about his feelings about Mercedes and frequently even asked for her advice, but really anyone could have filled that role in his life, but that night when he showed up at the door already reeking of liquor asking for Puck but reaching for her, Quinn couldn't stop herself from crossing the line with him. Once she was as drunk as he was, all her walls came down and for that moment in town she allowed herself to take what she had been secretly wanting with him, She to live in that moment with Sam, to be his comfort, his shoulder, his one. Quinn wanted to be held and cherished by a man that had cared for her so long, and Sam just seemed like he wanted to find a way to purge the image of Mercedes and Shane from his mind, with her because she was there, but it could have been anyone. At least that was how it had felt at the time, as he urged her not to talk after they had made love, almost like he didn't want to be reminded that the woman he had just slept with wasn't his wife.

Quinn shook herself from those memories, coming back to the present. Things were so different now. Sam wanted her, he hadn't said anything specifically, but it was in his every action. He had come for her, saved her from the hospital, just as he had told Artie he would, and now he was coming for her heart. Quinn could feel it, and the idea of that made her tingle all over.

Mike was over at the front desk still dealing with the staff, and Quinn hoped he took his time, she didn't look forward to being alone with him. She hoped Sam would make it back before he was done. Quinn had been surprised Mike hadn't said more in the car, although the things he did manage to slip out were damaging enough, but it could have been far worse. Mike was holding his tongue for some reason, but Quinn knew it wasn't for her benefit, he must be doing it to protect Sam. That was the one thing they all had in common, Mercedes, Mike, Dwight, even Sue, none of them wanted to hurt Sam.

Quinn reached in the pocket of her white sweat jacket and pulled out the photo of Beth and Sam. She smiled as she looked at the two of them, Sam smiling into the camera, Beth on his lap, her big green eyes shining.

"That's a nice one," said Mike coming up from behind her.

"Thanks," said Quinn still staring at the photo.

"Did Sam give you that tonight?" he asked as he leaned his shoulder against the wall next to her.

"Yep, said they took it over the weekend." Quinn smiled again imagining Sam taking care of Beth, her little family united.

"Wonder who had the camera?" asked Mike disturbing her sweet thoughts. "Mercedes probably."

Quinn made a face in annoyance. Mike was only bringing Mercedes up to goad her, as he had been in the car all night.

"Actually he told me it was his nurse. I can't remember his name."

"Marcel. Cede must have been at work. I don't know how that girl does it, taking care of Sam, taking care of Beth, working fulltime."

Mike was laying on the admiration pretty thick, many women did what Mercedes had been doing every day, even his own mother used to be one of them. He was just trying to rattle her, make her feel insecure in the wake of Mercedes' seemingly perfect life. So Mercedes had a job, her doctor father probably hooked her up and that's how she breezed through school at record pace. Custody of Beth was temporary. It had only been a few months, Mike was acting like Mercedes had raised Beth on her own for ten years. Sam was back now anyway to nip that in the bud. Sam would be the one raising their baby now, until she could step back in.

"Sam doesn't need to be taken care of. He looks much better to me." He looked good, really good, color in his cheeks, sparkle in his eyes, besides being a little thinner, he was must like his old self.

Mike shook his head. "He's pushing himself, rushing things. He needs more help than he's letting on. Interesting how you didn't dispute that Mercedes was taking care of Beth though. I guess there is nothing to counter that fact. You haven't taken care of that girl since you gave birth."

Quinn had been waiting for this all night, the real punches, Mike had been jabbing her before, but now that they were alone, playtime was over.

"Sam is back now to look after her until I am able to again," she said putting the photo back in her pocket, squaring off for the attack.

"How long will that be Quinn? Beth will probably be in kindergarten by the time you're ready to be a mother." Mike's voice was heavy with disgust, his face serious, his mouth in a thin tight line.

"That's not true. I'm doing much better already. The judge wouldn't have let me out if I weren't." Quinn could feel herself slowly turning back into her old self again, each day feeling more ready to regain her life.

"You think the judge wanted this?" Mike asked with bitter amusement. "Stop playing stupid, I know you're smarter than that."

"Sam might have pulled strings but the judge wouldn't have gone along with it if he weren't sure in the first place. I never would have been sent here if it weren't for Dwight."

How had Sam managed to get her released? She figured he had convinced the judge to go back to his initial ruling to let her go free, the one he had made before Dwight interfered. Mike's insinuations that something more had happened were probably just bluffs, but she would be sure to ask Sam details later.

"Probably right. You always manage to get off unscathed. Will you ever have to pay for your crimes?" asked Mike as he walked over and sat on a chair in the center of the lobby.

"I'll pay at the same time you do," said Quinn rushing to follow him. "Don't sit here and judge me when you were ready to destroy me just because I cheated on you." She had said that louder than she'd intended and a few heads turned to look at them.

"Crime of passion caused by a broken heart," Mike said in a rasped whisper. "I bet I would have gotten off easier for that than for what you did, leaving a defenseless baby out in the cold."

She sat on the couch across from him, leaning forward, elbows on her knees. "I was distraught, I wasn't thinking straight."

It was like she was trying to explain to Sam earlier, back then it felt like she was watching herself do those horrible things from outside her body. It didn't feel like her, now that things were clearer in her mind, she was horrified, no way would she ever think of hurting her baby.

"Neither was I!" He yelled, ignoring the stares. "You don't even care do you? I loved you and wanted to spend my life with you and you walked away like nothing."

"I did care Mike but…"

"But you couldn't keep your legs closed when a better offer came around."

"I'm not having this conversation with you. What's the point? It's always the same."

After all this time Mike was hurt. Quinn didn't know what to say, she had been wrong to get so deep with Mike in the first place. In her heart she had always known he wasn't the one for her, but she had just needed someone safe and sweet, so she wouldn't have to deal with her feelings for Sam. Or even worse have to be alone while she watched Sam fall for someone new. That was probably the worst pain of all, watching Sam move on. She'd sat back and witnessed that from front row three times each time progressively worse.

There was Penny, she wasn't much, just a blip with Sam, but that college queen had wrecked things for Quinn and Sam, just by catching his eye. Then there was Rachel, the one Quinn had worried about the most. Rachel seemed like she wanted to be the one for Sam, she had attached herself to him tight and fast. Quinn had even stooped so low as to try to warn the girl away from him. It wasn't one of her finer moments, but she genuinely wanted to see Sam happy and Quinn just didn't think Rachel would be the one to do it. She had been right, Rachel came and went fairly quickly. Last there was Mercedes, little inconsequential, didn't stand a chance in hell, Mercedes, never did Quinn believe that she would be the one to change everything. Yet Mercedes had been the one to replace Quinn in Sam's life, becoming his friend and lover and ultimately his wife. Now she was trying to do the same with Beth, taking over Quinn's place as her mommy. Quinn would never allow that to happen, she had been slowly working up the nerve to ask her parents to step in, but now thanks to Sam she didn't have to, she was free to put a stop to Mercedes on her own.

"Yep it is, you're always the same lying slut."

"I don't have to listen to this." Quinn stood up, running her hands through her hair as she scanned the lobby for the nearest exit. "I'm going to find Sam." She started toward the door.

"I don't know how you managed it," said Mike calling out after her, stopping Quinn in her tracks. "Somehow you got my brother completely sprung on you, again."

"Sam and I are just friends," she replied, kicking herself for once again giving Mike attention. She should have just continued walking away to find Sam.

Mike got up and stood in front of her, blocking her from the door. "It's just you and me now Quinn. Let's try to be straight with each other for a minute. I saw you two in the back seat, that wasn't friendly behavior."

"You need to mind your own business Mike, and butt out of my life."

Sue, Dwight, Mercedes and now Mike, there was always someone messing with her. They expected Quinn to just take it, but she would soon surprise them all. She wasn't going to be kicked around by anyone, never again. Just like Dr. Hill had said, she had the power to make positive changes in her life and she planned to use that power. Whether Sam's family liked it or not, she was Beth's mother and she was going to be a part of her baby's life.

"I don't give a crap about your life, it's my brother I'm worried about. He's wrapping everything around you, betting it all on a future for the both of you."

"Sam is just happy about Beth," said Quinn dismissively, trying not to let what Mike had just said go to her head, but the thought of a future with Sam gave her butterflies.

"That definitely is part of it."

"I'm the one he remembers."

Quinn couldn't forget that all of this was happening because Sam had amnesia. He might not be feeling so close to her if he had remembered Mercedes. Although they had always been friends, and Sam had never let her down, no matter the woman he was involved with, but Mercedes had been different, the Beacon proved that. For the first time, Quinn had felt something had changed between them, their chemistry had been altered, a new element had been added to their formula.

"That's true too," said Mike watching her.

Quinn went back to sit down on the couch, hoping to escape Mike's unrelenting stare. "It's probably just a temporary condition. He just woke up."

"Could be," he shrugged pivoting to face her. "What if it's not though? Are you going to play into his fantasies?"

"Why is wanting a family a fantasy? We have a daughter together." It seemed natural that Sam might want to be with her and Beth, unplanned as it might have been, they had created a new family together.

"I guess that answered my question. Looks like Sam isn't the only one living in a dream world."

"What would be so bad if Sam and I ended up together? You know we have a long history."

A history that the more Quinn thought about it seemed like it was always leading them here, to now, to possibly building a life together. Over all these years they never could really let each other go, maybe this was why. They were meant to be together.

"Earth to Quinn, Sam is already married."

"For now, but what if he never remembers Mercedes? Then what? He can't stay with her forever, out of some weird sense of obligation for promises he can't even remember making."

Though she suspected Mercedes would try to keep him, use any trick to get him to stay with her. Mercedes had worked hard to land him. Quinn couldn't see her just walking away.

"There's more going on with Sam than he's letting on," said Mike quietly as he sat back in his chair. "I wouldn't pick out china patterns just yet."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Quinn wasn't sure if that was a warning or a threat.

"That means that you can forget about finally snagging my brother. Even if he doesn't get his memory back, I'm betting he'd rather live with a wife he doesn't know than get mixed up with a lying, cheating, selfish bitch like you," he blurted out in a rough rush of words.

"Wow Mike that's harsh," said Quinn blinking back the tears that had filled her eyes. "I know I hurt you but damn."

"Just because I know how to play nice doesn't mean I don't still hate your ass. I was trying to be civil for Sam's sake. But first chance I get I'm filling him in on every little dirty secret about you, starting with how you screwed his brother in a supply closet." He leaned in closer, and lowered his voice so not to be overheard, but his tone was still unmistakably hard and cruel.

"I don't believe you," said Quinn narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms. "If you were really going to tell Sam anything you would've done it by now. I think you're bluffing."

"You wanna test that?" Mike was challenging her, but Quinn refused to back down.

"Actually yeah. You have just as much to lose by telling Sam about us as I do. Sam would hate you if he knew you slept with me. I was his first love."

"He barely wanted you when we were together, I'm betting he'll take it in stride, just like last time."

His sentence hit her like a slap in the face. Sam had cared the last time, he just was trying not to show it. Quinn knew she had hurt him deeply when she hooked up with Mike.

"It was complicated back then between me and Sam, we weren't admitting our true feelings, but you see him now, he's more open and honest, if you hurt him by telling him about this he might take it extra hard."

Mike fanned his hand at her. "Don't try to guilt me into keeping my mouth shut. My brother deserves to know the truth."

Sam needed time to adjust. They all did. Mike's sudden rush for honesty had to be about sticking it to her and not Sam's well being.

"I agree. He should know about everything that happened these past years. But why does it have to be now?"

"I'm not telling him anything tonight, if that's what you're worried about. You two can have your little reunion. I promised him I'd stay out of it."

Quinn could tell he was going along with the reunion, as he called it, very reluctantly. Sam must have convinced him somehow.

"But what about tomorrow? We need to wait to tell Sam, until he's ready to handle the news."

"No way. You're not getting extra time so you can pull out all the stops on my brother and have him even more hopelessly into you. I'm telling him tomorrow, while he still has some sense left in his head."

Her mind scrambled to find a new angle. "Oh so you want to ruin his birthday? I know it's in 2 days. Got anything planned?"

"Puck and I are taking him out," said Mike pulling out his phone and focusing on that instead of Quinn.

"You might as well call Puck and cancel because if you tell Sam we were together tomorrow he won't be in the partying mood. Definitely not in the mood to party with you."

"That's the chance I got to take," said Mike not even looking up.

He wanted Quinn to think the case was closed, but she could see the veins in his neck bulging. It was all an act.

"He trusts you Mike. He asked you to bring him up here tonight, not Puck, not Will, you. Now you're just going to take all that away from him? Dr. Hill told me he trusts me too, that he is going to be leaning on me most of all because I am familiar. If you tell him about us now, who will Sam have to lean on?"

Mike finally looked at her. "Uh his wife. Mercedes will be there."

What kind of dirt did Mercedes have on them all that she got crowned and put on some gilded pedestal by Sam's family? She broke his heart, almost left him for another man, yet Quinn was somehow worse for being his friend during all that. Sure they made an impulsive decision to sleep together, but how was that worse than Mercedes being in love with another man the whole time they were married? In Quinn's mind what Mercedes did was far worse, she was only getting a free pass because Dwight and Sue hated her more. Mercedes was probably the lesser of two evils in their eyes.

Mike was quick to point out her sins, what about Mercedes'? Was anyone rushing to spill all of that to Sam? Quinn was pretty sure Sam would like to know just who he married, a con artist, gold digger, that probably loved his wallet most of all. Mercedes might have fooled most people into believing she had changed, but Quinn knew all too well that scars from a lifetime of hurt just don't go away. They still throbbed from time to time, a reminder of all the pain, all the hard lessons learned. The scammer inside of Mercedes was still there, just as Lucy Caboosey still lived within Quinn. There was no escape from the past.

"He doesn't know her! Can you stop hating me for a two seconds and think about Sam? Your brother is not going to lean on a total stranger, and that is what Mercedes is right now. You tell him the truth, and he's going to go into a tailspin, and have nowhere to land. Do you want that?"

"No I don't," Mike admitted reluctantly.

"Let me be the one to tell him. I just need a little time. Sam and I need to catch up first, and then I will fill him in. I promise Mike, I won't keep him the dark for long. I just need to be the one to tell him."

Mike stared at her, tapping his phone with his fingers as he sat. "Okay," he finally said. "I'll let you handle it, but if you don't…"

"I will. Thank you Mike." She was relieved. Things would go better this way. She had to be the one to explain. Sam would understand it better if she filled him and not anyone else.

"You just be good to my brother. Don't make me regret leaving you two here."

Quinn nodded, not responding to Mike's ridiculous statement. It made her so angry that anyone would think Sam would need protecting from her. She had cared about Sam for years, everyone knew it, yet his parents still saw her as a threat, and now others were joining their side. Even the media was against her. Quinn had read in a magazine another article painting her as the villain that destroyed Sam's life. This time the article even suggested that she was had somehow been involved with the car accident that put him in a coma. That had been all Mercedes of course, she was the one with him that night, but even that was starting to be in dispute.

It was easier to blame the crazy lady for everything Quinn guessed. That was fine, Quinn had been on the outside and hated most of her childhood, she could easily return to that spot. She wasn't always searching for approval or love like Mercedes, Quinn didn't care if half of Lima hated her, she just needed one man on her side, Sam, the way he had always been for so many years. Together they could weather this media storm and create a good home for Beth. Now that he'd gotten her released, they had a real shot of making that happen.