Bella
Have you ever just seen something, and right from the start, you know you want it? Like, you have to have it? And there's no patience to be found. Not anywhere. You could try to reason with yourself, tell yourself that sometimes with patience comes great reward. But in the end, you're still like a kid in line at the grocery store and you have to have the chocolate bar right then and there.
Tears are cried.
Tantrums are thrown.
All in the attempt to hold the candy bar in your hands. To open its package and taste the melty-sweet chocolate on your tongue.
That's how I felt the first time I saw Edward.
I didn't know his name at the time. I only knew four things. I knew that he was looking at me like no one had ever looked at me before. I knew that I wanted – right then and there – to run my fingers through his wind-mussed, almost-but-not-quite ginger hair. I knew I wanted his hands and mouth on my breasts the way his eyes were on them in that moment.
And I knew I wanted him.
Plain and simple.
I wanted him so fucking much.
I wasn't even embarrassed by my state of undress. I probably should have been, but I couldn't find it in me when I saw the look in his eyes.
Desire.
Plain and simple.
And it was only there for a minute before embarrassment at being caught looking took over. But it had been there. And I wanted to see it there again.
His mortification would have been funnier if I couldn't see that it was genuine. And it was. He was truly horrified by the simple action of seeing me naked…and liking it.
Oh, this, this was going to be so much fun.
I could have gone inside. I probably should have, but where would the fun have been in that? So, I teased him a little. Just to try and get a rise out of him. And for a minute, it worked. But he shut down pretty quickly. And I was left scrambling for an excuse to keep the small connection I was sure we had. I didn't want to go inside. No, I wanted to stay. I wanted his eyes on me again. I wanted him to want me the same way I'd wanted him. And because I thought I had him figured out, thought I knew exactly what he would do if given the opportunity, I stayed.
I stayed there on the chair, eyes closed, and willed him to look at me. And it was so damn frustrating, lying there wondering, listening to him go on about his work as if I wasn't even there. But then it happened. I couldn't see it, but I could feel it. Everything went quiet, and I knew he was watching.
I did my best at playing possum while he watched. I tried to keep my breathing steady and even. And then I felt this energy crackle between us. It was a live, pulsing thing that covered my mostly exposed skin and gave me goosebumps as he moved closer. The wind was blowing softly, but I could swear I heard his heartbeat. Or maybe it was my own.
I spoke.
I wanted to give him a chance to give me something, anything at all that would let me know this wasn't all just one sided. His eyes met mine, and though my words had been teasing, the way I was looking at him was anything but.
That's when he told me he was leaving.
And that's when I shut down.
I stood up and left him standing by the pool. I was feeling a million different things – adrenaline, arousal, but most of all – rejection. But then I turned around, and he was still watching.
I'd been right.
He wanted me as much as I wanted him.
And I was going to reach out and take him. Or better yet, convince him to take me. God, I needed to be taken.
.
.
.
I don't know how long I stood there. But it was quite a while after he'd left. I didn't know much about this place, but I was about to figure some things out. And quick.
I walked through the enormous house and into the bathroom off my guest suite. I stripped off my suit and stepped into the shower. Even the shower in this place made me feel out of my depth. Probably because you could fit three of my showers from home inside this one. But the warm rush of water from all sides soothed my unease, and soon I was back to remembering my poolside interaction with Edward, and wondering when we could have another one.
As soon as I was finished with the shower, I dialed my mom.
"Bella," she said my name with such warmth and happiness, I couldn't help but smile. "Are you getting settled in?"
"Umm…yeah," I told her. "This house, mom. It's huge! I don't even know who has a life like this."
"Well, we do. And for the summer, you do, sweetheart," she said. She added, "And for as long as you'd like even after, you know?"
It was sweet that she wanted me to be a part of her life. Though, technically, her life was Phil and major league baseball for the next several months. But she was trying now, and that was all I could really hope for, wasn't it?
"Thanks, mom," I said, feeling overwhelmed again, so I changed the subject. "So, what do people even do here for fun?"
"It's the beach, Bella," she deadpanned. "There's fun everywhere. You just have to go and find it."
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.
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A/N
Thank you for reading.
Leave me some love.
And thanks to Marvar for being amazing and fixing all my mistakes. No one would read anything I wrote without her. Seriously.
Thanks to my pre-readers, Kourt, Laura, Jaime, and Kelly. I love you all.