A/N: Writer's block is such a bitch. Ugh! Have you ever opened up your laptop and just stared at a blank MS Word page nonstop? That was me these past few weeks. Plus I've been so busy with moving and I'm not even done. You don't know how glad I am that I pulled through with this update.

Can I admit that I teared up reading all your comments about Jasha? I'm sorry I made a lot of you sad and frustrated. :( I'm so thankful for all the feedback though, so much so that I actually ended up using some of them in this update because I thought they were perfect. So thanks a lot, guys! :D

Been watching Tough Enough. Gabi's comment about Roman making her wet though…join the line, hun! Lol.

Big mwahs to Countryliving Girl, Bharm, corbettluv, LetItReign, darkcloud77, shamonticupcake, mitchy21, 33, Tammy, PassionWriter101, sixxyb, Siren's Call To The Dead, nikki1335, Shield316, Guest, princesspeace990, CFierce116, BillionDollarPrinceStephanie, DeeMarie426, justkimmy, Chermayne, ItReignsJustice-619, benova13, vegas angel baby, JxTina, Lbechter3, jade, princessreigns, LuxuriaVanitas, IRENELOVE83 and Olivia Reigns for reviewing!

Girl, I never thought that lovin' you would hurt
(I did everything a good man would to make it work)
Girl, you should have told me you had second thoughts
(Like before I put the down on the house we bought)

Now I'm thinkin' you and me was a mistake
(But then it hits me and I'm missin' all the love we made)
Girl, I know that we've been goin' through some things, yeah
(But the sun is always shinin' even when it rains)

"…Yeah, it's gonna be fun. Bring your family, bring your friends…it'll be great cuz you never know what to expect in a live WWE show…alright, good…thanks buddy, appreciate it. Take care."

Patricia walked into Alma's living room, listening to Joe rounding up his phone interview. She didn't need to see his face to know the perkiness in his voice was fabricated, like he was doing something he didn't really want to do. The tired sigh he breathed out as he dropped his phone on the glass table in front of him and covered his eyes confirmed what she already knew. Her son was miserable, and he'd been this way for a long time now. He hadn't told her anything, and at first she thought it was due to the whole Missy-Andrea crap going on, but she soon deduced that there were now problems between him and Sasha. From the abrupt changes of subject whenever she was brought up, to his constantly running to Alma's house under the guise of visiting his father, and his reluctance to return home afterwards. She thought about leaving him alone to work it out for himself but evidently he wasn't doing too well, so it was time for Mama to come to his rescue.

She took a seat next to him on the couch, returning the smile he gave her when he looked up. A smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "You know, countless number of days on the road," she began, choosing to speak in her husband's native Samoan language. For some unexplained reason, the family as a whole communicated better and more freely when they were not speaking English. "All the non-stop traveling and being gone from home for so long, the court proceedings going on…you think you'd wanna be home, spending time with your girlfriend."

Joe avoided his mother's inquisitive gaze and did his best not to sigh out loud. She'd been giving him that look for days now, and so far he'd ignored her. He wasn't in the mood to be lectured; he sure as hell didn't want to hear her say she told him so. "What? I can't spend time with my parents and my sister and nephews?" he asked, addressing his mother in Samoan as well.

"Come on Leati. We both know this has nothing to do with any of us," Patricia answered calmly. "Not Alma, not Matai or Jake or their dad. This is about Sasha and whatever's going on between you two. You're avoiding her, which is very strange, because you always want to be with her. You're always talking about her. And now all of a sudden, silence. Not a single word. And me or Alma gotta physically push you outta this house every day so you can go home. It's weird. It's obvious that something's up. So come on, tell your Mama what's going on."

"And your Daddy too." Both Patricia and Joe turned in their seats to see Sika hobbling into the living room on his new cane. Joe jumped up and quickly walked over to him. "Dad! You should be in bed," he scolded.

Sika snorted, shrugging away Joe's attempts to assist him. "If I spend one more minute in that bed I'll tear out my own hair and eat it," he answered shortly, brushing past his youngest son to settle down in the recliner next to his wife. "Besides, I've been meaning to talk to you. And since your mother's brought it up, now's as good a time as any. Now you know I don't mind spending quality time with my kids and grandkids and all, especially you since you're so busy these days. I may be an old man but even I know when I'm being used as a distraction. So how about you do as your mother says and tell us what's going on with you and Sasha. Did you two get in a fight?"

Joe returned to his place on the couch, clasping his hands together in his lap and keeping his eyes lowered, feeling both his parents' gazes on him. Now that they had goaded him into it, he knew they wouldn't budge until he talked about it and got it all out of his system. Taking his time, he told them about the incident with Sasha earlier in the week, from the results of the pregnancy test to her reaction and their fight, laying it all out on the table. As always, they listened to him without saying a word, allowing him to vent. He'd hoped he would feel somewhat better by the time he finished but was not surprised when he did not. The heated words he and Sasha had exchanged buzzed around in his head for the last few days, leaving him wondering what had gone wrong between them. He'd thought they were stronger than this. He'd thought they were on the same page, that they'd successfully tackled their problems and smoothed out the creases. Clearly he was wrong. It was bad enough that his manipulative ex-girlfriend was forcing him to defend his reputation. His current relationship was now on the rocks and it was more than he could handle.

"Do you think she feels pressured into having another baby?" Patricia asked. In her opinion, that was the root of where the couple's problems lay. "Are you sure you never made her feel that way?"

"I'm hundred percent positive," Joe answered adamantly. "I would never pressure her. I knew a long time ago about her past complications and I knew the chances were slim. Yes I hoped she was pregnant, by some miracle, and yes, I was disappointed by the result, and so was she. But she lashed out at me instead of letting me comfort her. She was so sure I wanted nothing to do with her all because of what some damn white stick said. When is she gonna realize that it's not just about that for me, that I actually wanna be with her?" he ranted. "It's like she doesn't even want to accept my feelings for her and honestly, it pisses me off." Exhaling heavily, he shook his head, his voice softer when he spoke again. "There's only so much rejection I can take, because that's exactly what she's doing. Rejecting me."

Sika and Patricia exchanged sad looks, and the Anoa'i matriarch was first to address her son. "Look, sweetheart..." she said, maintaining a calm, placating tone. "For all the doubts and fears that I've had about Sasha in the past, she's proved me wrong. She is a good woman to you and she's a great mother to Mia and Tyson. I never imagined you'd ever be with a single mother, but it's worked for you. She's calmed you down so much. You're happier and obviously in love. The cynical Mama Bear in me wants to say that Sasha's playing with your emotions. But I don't think that's the case. She loves you. It's so obvious that she does, to the point that she's frustrated that she can't give you what she feels you want."

"But I told her a long time ago that we'll work it out. That we'd find other ways to have kids. But she obviously doesn't believe me since she acted the way she did. It's been more than a year since Sasha became my girlfriend and she still doesn't trust me." He dropped his head in despair, willing away the emotion that threatened to overwhelm him. "I bought a ring, Ma. I was going to ask her to marry me this week, but I still don't know if the woman I wanna make my wife trusts me. How am I supposed to deal with that?"

"You know, it took your mother a long time to fully trust me too," said Sika.

Joe looked at him, then at Patricia, who blushed timidly at her husband's words. "Really?" he asked. It was the first time he was hearing of this.

"Uh huh. We were together about four years before she finally let go of everything that was holding her back to be with me. Ain't that right, darling?"

He stared affectionately at his wife, placing a hand on her thigh as Patricia nodded, her bashful smile dissipating as she reminisced. "He's right," she replied, "The crazy thing is I cannot for the life of me remember why I was so hesitant to date him. He was a great guy – you still are, darling – but something just kept holding me back. I guess doubt, fear, uncertainty...that a relationship like ours, that love like his, was too good to be true. As you can see I got over it. It's been damn near half a century since then, with no regrets whatsoever."

"Sometimes I wondered if it was ever going to happen between us," said Sika. "I knew she loved me very much, but women, well..." He shrugged. "I guess a lot of them feel the way she did – that what they have with us good men is too good to be true. So they try to push us away regardless."

Joe understood what his parents were trying to say. But he had to ask this. "But how much longer will you be pushed for before you get tired of being pushed? A man can only take so much, Dad."

Sika nodded sympathetically. "I know, son. But when you're in love, it don't matter how hard she pushes. You gotta keep holding on until she finally comes to her senses and she realizes you ain't goin nowhere."

Patricia observed her youngest child, noting the resignation and defeat in his features. "Honey, I know your mind's in a hundred different places right now, both you and Sasha," she said softly, brushing his hair back. "This is a combination of a lot of things. You're both still reeling from this thing with Missy and Andrea. You both got unresolved trust issues. Remember it was years before you dated again. Sasha is the only woman you've felt this strongly for and it's the exact same thing for her. She's just finding it more difficult to do away with her insecurities than you are. I know what that feels like."

"We do know how you feel about wanting your own family though," Sika added, looking his son square in the eye. "Now that you're fully aware that a biological child may not be possible, do you love her enough to stick around? That sounds harsh, but it's your reality right now. I think you need to think hard about it and analyze the scenario for yourself."

His first thought, as it always was, was absolutely, he would stay. His relationship with Sasha was nothing short of an enriching, life-changing experience. He'd learned so much from her about life, about love and even about himself, and he wouldn't trade any of it for the world. Alma had once asked him if he was okay with raising children that weren't his own. Truth be told, he was. Because he loved Sasha and by extension, loved her children. "My heart beats for her, Dad," he confessed solemnly, looking at his parents. "When it comes down to it she's the one I want no matter what. I love her so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Any other thing we experience together is a bonus for me."

Patricia and Sika smiled. They had both expected that answer. "Okay. So that's settled," said Patricia. "Now, I would suggest you go home to her. She's still hurting over the pregnancy result, and you're hurting too. What she needs – what you both need – is each other's support. As difficult as it is talking to her right now, being here with us isn't gonna work out your problems."

Joe winced a little. He and Sasha had barely said a word to each other in days. Breaking the tension would not come easy and honestly, he was not ready to confront it just yet. "I hear you," was his only response to his parents.

"You say you love her, so you gotta be a little more patient. You're both afraid. You've both been hurt in the past and those scars are still affecting your relationship. You gotta let it go. It's the only way you can ever fully embrace your relationship," Patricia said, rubbing Joe's arm. "Like we tell you every time, all your father and I want is for you to be happy. Sasha makes you happy, so we really hope you two work it out. You always have."

Yeah. They did. Back in the past. Joe only wished it were that simple this time around. He looked up as his parents stood up. Patricia kissed his cheek and left. Sika followed suit, patting Joe's shoulder encouragingly as he passed by. "It's only been eighteen months, son," he said. "You two are just getting started. So buckle up and enjoy the ride."

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

Taking her eyes away from Pam's laptop, Sasha smiled at Imani in her baby seat, shaking a pink rattle in her tiny fist, the four-month-old cooing and giggling. Playing with toys was easier for her now, as she had reached the age where she could grab things with both hands and hold on to them. The rattle had become her favorite toy, delighting in the sound it always made when she shook it. It kept the baby occupied while Pam could do other things, and doting on her kept Sasha's mind off of the ongoing crisis in her relationship.

Since her and Joe's blowup four days ago, tensions were at an all-time high. You could count on one hand the combined number of words exchanged between the couple. Both were fed up with each other's attitude and were too stubborn to break the ice. Both would lie in bed at the very opposite ends, keeping their distance. Joe would pretend to be asleep while he listened to Sasha move around the bedroom as she got ready for work. Sasha would lie in bed with her back turned as Joe came back from another long trip to Alma's house or wherever else he was coming from. Sleep didn't come so easily anymore, and she would lie awake in the dark thinking about how everything was falling apart, wondering how much more of this either of them could take. Yes, she took part of the blame for this mess between them but only part of it. This wasn't all her doing, surely not. It wasn't all her fault and she was standing by that, and if she told herself that long enough, she would believe it. For now she would continue to pretend that the cold silence between her and her boyfriend was not unbearable.

She wished she could explain why she felt and acted the way she did. She had a man that treated her like she was the important person in his life. Joe was the first guy in the longest time that made her feel special, feel truly loved. Yet for some reason she hadn't fully embraced it. Instead, unbeknownst to her, she grew more paranoid, waiting for the bubble of bliss that always burst in her face when she least expected it. The paranoia had come to light with Andrea's return, and then it completely unraveled with the negative pregnancy test. Two days after the first test, she tried a second one and it came up negative once again, which put an even bigger dampener on her spirits. The one affirmative she took from this situation was her decision to go and get checked out by a professional. She had to find out what exactly was wrong with her body. It was a long time since she last gave birth; things could be either better – or worse – for her. But she needed to know once and for all and stop living in this uncertainty. She thought about asking Joe to come with her, but with the way things were with them right now, that looked out of the question. It looked more and more definite that there was no coming back from this breakdown of their relationship, not this time.

So here she was, staring at Tampa homes for rent online, because the paranoia had taken over again. In her mind's eye, it was only a matter of time before Joe decided he didn't want her in his home anymore, and where would that leave her or Mia? It was a stupid thought and it was only stoking the fire, she knew that. Didn't stop her from thinking it though.

The faint tapping of footsteps grew louder as Pam walked into the living room holding Imani's sippy cup, and Sasha noticed the scowl on her fellow mother's tired features. The scowl had become prevalent lately, but Sasha was too wrapped up in her own drama to dig in and investigate what was up with her best friend.

Pam walked up behind her, peering over her shoulder at the laptop. "What's this?" She tipped the lid of the laptop back for a closer look. "You looking at apartments? What for?"

A second or two of awkward silence ticked by as Sasha averted her eyes. Pam glared down at the other woman. "Lookin' to move out then? You wanna walk out on Joe? Why is it that every time y'all fight you wanna bail out?"

Sasha cringed at the look on anger on Pam's face. Seriously, what was up with her? "I didn't say that," she snapped.

Pam started to say more, then stopped abruptly, raising a hand and shaking her head. "You know what? I don't even wanna know. I don't got no time for your bullshit no more. If you wanna break up with Joe, go right ahead. Just leave me the fuck out of it. I got bigger things to worry about than your petty-ass drama."

Sasha gaped at her, taken aback by her reaction. "Now I know you ain't talkin' to me like that-"

"You damn right I'm talkin' to you like that!" Pam cut her off brusquely. "Get over yourself Sasha! What the fuck? This is a guy that's gone to bat for you over and over again! A guy that defended you from his own parents! A guy that could've cheated on you a thousand times over! He loves your kids! He moved all three of y'all into his fuckin' home! What excuse do you got, huh? What you got for shittin' all over the best relationship you've ever had? You obviously have no clue what you have but if you wanna fuck it all up, be my fuckin' guest. Just don't come cryin' to me when it happens!"

She slammed the sippy cup on the table, and Imani, startled by the loud sharp sound, burst into tears. Sasha was more shocked when Pam marched off without so much as a second glance at the wailing infant. Staring after her friend in complete bewilderment, she picked up Imani and bounced her on her shoulder, stroking her tiny back. "It's okay, baby. It's okay," she whispered soothingly in the baby's ear, "Mama didn't mean to scare you. Shhh, it's okay." She glanced in the direction Pam had stormed off with narrowed eyes. Something was wrong and she was determined to find out.

After calming down Imani, Sasha traced Pam's footsteps to the den, mincing her words to keep from cussing in front of the baby. "Okay, I don't know what's crawled up your ass and died but it don't give you the right to talk to me like that-"

She stopped in her tracks as she found Pam slumped in one of the loveseats, her shoulders shaking, and Sasha realized that she was crying. The discovery sparked a wave of worry within her. "Pamela?" she questioned, her voice softer as her ire vanished. Cradling Imani carefully in one arm, she settled down beside Pam. "What's going on? What's the tears for?" she asked, gently rubbing her back with her free arm. "Babe, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

Pam shook her head, tears streaming down her face at an alarming speed. "I can't even bring myself to say it…I'm barely coming to terms with it as it is."

At those words, Sasha felt something inside her plunge like a stone. This sounded serious, more serious than she'd ever heard Pam sound, and the mother of two was suddenly trying to steady the panic bubbling within her. But for her friend's sake, she kept the emotions at bay. "Hey. Tell me," she urged gently.

Pam sniffed, wiped her eyes, and took a deep breath. "About a week after WrestleMania, Gin went to get a check-up. He hadn't been feeling good for a while, to the point that he was complaining. So I suggested he go to the doctor for blood tests, the full body exam, the whole nine yards, just to be safe. The results came back and he tested positive for blood in his fecal test. So yesterday we went back in for a diagnosis. And…and…"

She trailed off, swallowing hard, and then, she uttered four words that Sasha would remember as long as she lived:

"Elgin has colon cancer."

If she didn't have such a strong grip on Imani already, Sasha would have dropped her. What? Cancer? Elgin? She gaped at Pam in shock, struck with the horrible realization that this wasn't some sort of sick joke. "Oh my god, Pam…"

"When he wasn't feeling well we just thought it was stress." Pam's voice was shaky, laden with what sounded spookily like guilt. "His grandmother died of colon cancer about ten years ago. We didn't realize the connection. Maybe if we did he'd have gotten tested much earlier."

Sasha felt sick, along with a cold, sweeping sense of déjà vu. Not again. Pam couldn't possibly go through this again and survive. First her mother, now her husband. How cruel and callous could life be? "Jesus Pam, why didn't you tell me about any of this?"

"Like I told you, I'm barely coming to terms with it myself," she answered, pushing her hair back with both hands as she looked up at the ceiling, blinking away tears that had been flowing for what felt like days now. "I feel like I'm in a nightmare and all I wanna do is wake up."

Sasha wished the same for her. She herself still couldn't believe it. "What did the doctors say? How advanced is it?"

"Stage two. Doctor said it doesn't look good but it could have been much worse if we'd waited longer. He goes in for surgery the day after tomorrow. He's at his parents' right now to give them the news. I wanted to go with him but he insisted on doing it on his own." Pam covered her eyes and sobbed. "He's only thirty-eight years old Sasha! He can't die! He has a family and a daughter that he wants to see grow up and graduate high school and college and get married. There is still so much he has to do with his life."

"He's not gonna die. Stop thinking like that."

"Why can't cancer just leave me and my family the hell alone? It took my mama and now it's coming for my husband. I've checked out clean so far but I could still be next…I got a family history after all."

"Don't say that. You're gonna be fine." Sasha felt like the biggest, most selfish bitch in the world. All this time she'd been pining over her own problems, which suddenly looked inconsequential compared to the agony her best friend was going through. She'd immersed herself in her own drama while she could have been comforting Pam. Knowing it would make the other woman feel better, she handed Imani over to her. Her notion was correct as right away Pam's features lit up, and she nuzzled Imani's little face, cooing softly at her, whispering apologies for her outburst. Sasha watched the tender exchange with a smile. "I can wait with you until Gin comes home," she offered, putting an arm around Pam's shoulders.

But Pam shook her head. "Don't worry about me. I just want Elgin home so he can be with me and his daughter. And you should go home and be with Joe." Her wet eyes hardened with resolve as they locked with Sasha's. "Girl, we've known each other for twenty-five years. You've been there for me through the good and bad, and I've been there for you the same way. And you know I'll always be straight with you. This thing between you and Joe honestly, is petty as hell. Stop it. I ain't never seen a man that's done you right the way he has. He's never cheated on you. He loves you and he adores your children. Sash, he wants to fuckin' marry you! It's normal for couples to fight but y'all can't keep duckin' and runnin' when you have problems. Because in retrospect it's so stupid. Squash this thing going on between you two right fuckin' now! Don't take him for granted, especially now that he's healthy, and don't throw away what you got. Life is way too short for that. So go work it out before it's too late."

Fighting back tears, Sasha nodded slowly, vowing to take heed of the advice. "Okay." She kissed Pam's cheek and rested her forehead against hers. "Elgin's gonna beat this, Pam. I promise," she whispered. "He'll fight this disease and beat the shit out of it like the bitch that it is."

Seemingly buoyed by the rallying words, Pam's lips twitched, curving upwards into a tiny smile. With her free hand, she hugged Sasha back. "Thanks. Now go to your man."

Sasha drove home, barely cognizant that she was driving in light of her current mental state, but somehow she made it unscathed. She drifted around the house in a complete daze. There was no one else around; Mia had gone swimming with friends from school. She wanted to hold her daughter, to kiss her and hug her and thank the Lord that she was happy and healthy. She was supposed to get started with dinner but it was impossible to concentrate on anything. Needing some air, she wandered out of the house and found herself in the pool area. She slid onto one of the wicker chairs and stared into the pool, seeing it without seeing it, her heart broken for her best friend.

It was so unfair. After everything Pam had been through; with her mother, with life as a whole…this was the first time she was truly finding happiness and finding her way in life, only for something like this to happen. Another gripping disease, another agonizing period of uncertainty about whether the love of her life would live or die…It was a wakeup call for Sasha, a painful kick in the gut, and she knew she could not let another second go by without reconciling with the love of her own life. And besides, Elgin was his friend too…he deserved to know what was going on.

Picking up her phone, she dialed Joe's number, hopeful yet terrified of him picking up. She wasn't really sure of what she was going to say or if he even wanted to hear it. Her stomach lurched when the dial tone was cut off, replaced by his deep voice.

"Sasha."

She smiled. Frosty formal tone or not, she was relieved to hear the rich baritone of his voice once again. "Hi," she whispered. Then all of a sudden, she burst into tears.

"Joe…I need you."

Several miles away, Joe was putting Sika's luggage in the trunk of his Range Rover, preparing to take his parents to the airport to catch their flight back to Pensacola. As he took Patricia's carry-on from Alma, his phone vibrated in his pocket. His heart hammered a little faster at the sight of Sasha's caller I.D. for the first time in days. His head ordered him to ignore the call, to continue to stew and maintain his distance. But his heart nagged and prodded him, eventually winning the internal battle. Swearing under his breath, he held his phone to his ear, bracing himself. "Sasha," he greeted a little more icily than he wanted.

"Hi."

There was a pause for a second or two, the silence amplifying the sound of her breathing. His eyes widened with surprise and confusion when all of a sudden, a sob tore through the phone. "Sash?"

"Joe, I need you."

And just like that, any retort he had prepared at the tip of his tongue, any ill feelings he harbored towards her evaporated the second he heard the anguish in her voice. "What's wrong?" A jolt of concern shot through him. She sounded devastated. This was about a whole lot more than just their problems.

"It's Pam..."

"What about her? Is she alright?"

"No...She's not…" Her sobs increased; she was struggling to speak through her tears. "Joe…Elgin has cancer."

Joe felt the air whoosh out of him. Unexpectedly, the world spun a little, and he was forced to lean against his car to support himself as her words sank in. "Jesus," he breathed, running a hand over the top of his head. "How…when?"

"They found out yesterday. Stage two colon cancer. I thought I should tell you, he's your friend as well. And I just…I needed to hear your voice."

"I'm glad you called." He was bowled over, completely stunned by this news. He looked up and caught Sika watching him closely. He hobbled over to him and gripped his tattooed arm. "Go," the older man mouthed, "Alma will take us to the airport."

Holding his father's gaze briefly, Joe nodded, and with his free hand he pulled his parents' luggage out of his vehicle. "Listen, where are you? You home?" he asked Sasha.

"Yeah, yeah I am."

"Okay. I'll be there in about an hour."

"Are you sure I'm not interrup-"

"You're not," he interjected gently. "I'm on my way. I'm coming to you. You stay put, alright?"

"Okay."

He made it home in forty-five minutes. Entering the house, he went in search of his estranged girlfriend, and found her in the back sitting outside by the pool, with her back turned and her head bowed. He made a beeline for her, noticing how she didn't move, most likely unaware of his presence. He reached out to touch her shoulder and she jumped, quickly turning. Joe's breath hitched in his throat as he took in her red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. She was a mess, for a number of reasons, one of which he knew included him.

"Nani." He dropped down next to her and took her into his arms, enfolding her more tightly when she slumped against him and began to sob. "Hey, it's okay, sweetheart."

Her elation at the fact that he'd returned to addressing her by his favorite term of endearment for her was overshadowed by the sadness she was currently enduring. She swallowed hard, feeling tears spilling down her cheeks. "I feel so horrible for Pam. She went through hell with her mom's breast cancer. She doesn't deserve to go through this all over again with her husband. It's so unfair."

Joe brushed her hair out of her face. "When did you find out?"

"This afternoon," Sasha sniffled. "She'd been cranky lately but I didn't know why, and I was too caught up in my own issues to bother. And then she drops that kind of bombshell. I just…it made me think of you, and how I've been taking you for granted without even realizing it. Well that, and Pam gave me a swift kick up the ass too because of you." She gestured between them with a shaky laugh. "She adores you, you know."

Joe smiled despite himself. "The feeling's mutual. She's awesome."

"She made me think about you being in the position Elgin's in right now, and it's horrifying. I can't even begin to imagine something like this happening to you, and the thought of losing you for good terrifies me."

Joe sighed. "You're not gonna lose me, Sasha. I've told you that time and time again. No matter how mad I am at you and vice versa, I'll always be there for you regardless. I love and respect you too much to treat you like that. Why don't you believe me?"

The grittiness to his tone was back, dragging along with it the tensions that had plagued the couple for the past couple of days. Sasha bit her lip musingly for a second, trying to juggle the emotions and thoughts jumbled up in her head and heart. "I just wish I didn't feel like you're sacrificing so much for me," she murmured, "Your dreams of becoming a father. Having your own family. You deserve all of that. Do you know how that makes me feel, that I might be hindering your progress?"

"You are my family, Sasha," Joe insisted, tilting up her chin so she could look at him. "T.K. and Mia are my family, every bit as much as my parents and my sisters and my brother. I love you, and when you love someone this much nothing else matters but their happiness."

"I know that. I do. And because I know that, I'm so afraid you won't be happy with me because I have a defect. I want to be able to give your parents another grandkid in the future and I can't."

"You can't control what's happened to your body. I knew that and I was trying to empathize with you."

"I shouldn't be putting you through this. You have a career to worry about. It's stressful enough for you as it is without me gettin' all up in your face."

"Don't worry about that. And stop worrying so much about whether we can have kids or not. We can adopt. I'm perfectly content with T.K. and Mia as my kids. My folks have grandkids already. Your health and safety matters to me. You are here right now. The children we want are not. So as it stands you are my top priority. If anything ever happens to you I'll never forgive myself."

Sasha leaned into him, resting her face in his chest. Breathing his scent in was equivalent to breathing air. "You're the only man I've ever truly loved. I'm so scared of disappointing you that I end up pushing you away. I don't know how else to react."

"You can react by talking to me instead of getting mad at me. You need to quit doing that, babe."

Clearing her throat, she kept her gaze on their joined hands. "I know. I'm sorry."

"For real. We need to quit blowing up on each other when we argue. It never really solves anything, does it?"

"Not really," Sasha conceded. "How many times are we going to keep saying sorry to each other?"

The answer was simple for him. "As many times as it takes, and as long as we mean it each time."

Sasha gazed at her boyfriend, leaning even closer to him. "I'm not perfect, Joe. I'll never be perfect so I'm always bound to screw up. But when I do I'll spend however long it takes making it up to you...that's if you still want me."

"Of course I still want you," Joe said, staring longingly at her for a heartbeat or two. "God nani, I'll always want you." Leaning in, he captured her lips with his, his hand sliding over the back of her neck. Sasha clung to him, a different emotion quickly overtaking her as she returned the kiss. His lips moved over hers, and she could feel his passion, his borderline desperation, blending with hers, kindling a fire that blazed from two individuals coming to terms with the true fleetingness of mortality and the yearning for a lover's touch that had been denied them for what felt like years as opposed to mere days.

The two eventually pulled apart. Sasha held Joe's face in her hands, gazing tenderly into his ash-hued irises. "I love you," she whispered, and even though she had never said those words to him without meaning them, the Samoan knew that this time, she truly meant every syllable. "I love you too," he replied, wiping her cheek with his thumb.

"I'm going to see a Doctor tomorrow," she told him. "I took a second test and it came out negative again."

Joe's countenance sagged. "I'm sorry, nani."

Sasha shook her head, smiling sadly at him. "It's okay. I'm gonna find out once and for all what's really wrong with me. I want to know where I stand. If not for the baby issues then at least for my personal health. Elgin's diagnosis has been a real wakeup call and it's time I stepped up." She squeezed his hand. "Will you come with me? I thought about asking you yesterday but we weren't on the best of terms."

"If that's what you want I'll come with you. I'll drive you myself," said Joe, pressing his lips to her temple. It felt really good holding her again. "When we get married, I'm gonna adopt Mia and T.K.," he murmured, "They can both have my last name if they want."

Her smile broadened to a grin as she ran her fingers over his soft black hair, soaking in his beautiful face. "I'm sure Mia will like that."

"I know I will," Joe smiled. "And if I can be half the parent that you are, then it'll be a lifetime achievement for me."

Touched, she leaned up and kissed him again. "I don't deserve you. All I want is for you to be happy."

Joe bent his head down, his lips brushing her hair. "Call me selfish but I deserve you," he answered. "You make me so happy and I deserve to be happy. And I know I make you happy too."

"You do, baby. In so many ways you wouldn't believe." She looked into his eyes again. Rich, deep grey eyes she lost herself in every time. They were so much more than eyes…they were the window to his soul. Those eyes told her how much he loved her. He never needed to say anything because his eyes said it all. She truly had never loved anyone so much. "I won't fight with you anymore. Please. Stay with me," she pleaded, "I won't survive if I lost you..."

"You won't lose me," Joe reiterated. "And Elgin will be fine. He'll get through this if we all rally around him and be there for him and Pam. And I'll be right here with you because by your side is where I always wanna be, baby girl." He truly meant this. Nothing else mattered to him. If they never had children, it wouldn't be a problem as long as he could still be with her. They were a family already, a family of four; him, Sasha, Mia and T.K. And he knew he could live a happy, fulfilled life with the three of them.

"I've been stupid, babe. I'm so sorry." Her words were quiet and tearful. The thought of losing him proved to be too much. No more pushing him away, no more fighting and causing them both pain. It wasn't worth it, it never was.

Her apology was met by a whispered shush and a kiss to her lips. "No more apologies babe. It's done," he said. In his mind there was no need to apologize any longer. All that mattered was that they were back on the same page, and they were still deeply in love with each other. They could survive anything as long as they kept that in mind. "It's gonna be okay, Sasha. We're gonna be okay."

A tender smile appeared on Sasha's face. "Yes. We are." With that, she let him envelop her fully in his strong arms, the only place she ever wanted to be. The only place she truly belonged was with him, and she would never make the mistake of jeopardizing their love again.

I shed a tear writing this chapter. I still feel terrible for putting y'all through that, tbh. I tried to keep it as simple as possible and hope it worked out.

I am fortunate enough to have never experienced the physical and emotional pain that comes with the terrible disease that is cancer. I hope I was able to depict the scene with Pam and Sasha accurately. If this doesn't keep Jasha together, nothing else will, methinks. Hopefully they're back for good this time.

Song lyrics from 'How You Gonna Act Like That' by Tyrese and 'White Flag' by Dido respectively.

Thanks so much for your support. Sorry once again for taking so long to update!