Dear Mrs. Dodds,

I hear the little hyperactive brat is still alive. Did he just get kicked out of another school? Because I wanted to be around to see that! Or is his crippled friend limping around in crutches again? I just wanted to see if he's okay.

-Nancy Bobofit.

Dear Nancy,

Well, I tried to take care of him, but alas, he does not want me to. I don't know what's wrong.

-Mrs. Dodds