Warning: Contains slight G!P references.
Fairytale Of New York
I've got a feeling, this year's for me and you.
So happy Christmas. I love you baby.
I can see a better time, when all our dreams come true.
It's one o'clock in the afternoon on Christmas eve and Santana is still in bed. She had performed a Christmas set at Madison Square Garden the night before and was exhausted by the time she got back to her Manhattan penthouse apartment.
Santana slowly rouses from her sleep. She rolls onto her back and stretches out in her large king sized. It was such a large bed for only one person, but Santana hadn't found anyone to share it with. It was Christmas day tomorrow and once again she would be spending the holiday all alone.
Slowly getting out of the bed Santana is thankful for the under floor heating she has when her feet are met with a warm surface rather than a cold one from the New York winter weather.
Making her way into the living room she picks up the small remote off the coffee table that controls the blinds. She presses the button on the device that opens the blinds fully. As the blinds open the room slowly starts to fill up with light from the large windows as the snow covered streets of New York are revealed. That was one of the main draws for Santana when she bought this apartment; the view of the city she had fallen in love with.
She has been living in New York for the past two years. She had toured in that time and spent many nights in other states in expensive hotels, but New York was her home. After she graduated from high school her plan was to attend Louisville with the cheerleading scholarship she had earned. However during her first term at Louisville she heard about an open audition for a new teen drama filming in L.A.
Santana decided to take a chance and using the money her mother gave her, got on a plane to California. It was two weeks later when she received the news that she got the part. That was the catalyst in her career and quickly after she got an agent. She played the role for three years and when her agent found out she could also sing, it was soon after that her musical career also took off.
After spending a few months recording her album in New York it was then that she decided to move to the state. Santana had always wanted to be successful and for the past five years she had been living that dream. She had a hit TV show and two number one albums, but recently she had been feeling as if something has been missing.
She had been feeling lonely lately. There had been girls, she was a TV and music star of course there had been girls, but she never had any relationships and with her condition she never slept with any of them either.
Santana had always kept her condition a secret and she would keep it that way until she met the one, unfortunately, she had yet to find someone she wanted to share her life with. There was only one person that she assumed she spend the rest of her life with and that was her high school girlfriend; Rachel Berry.
They had gotten together half way through junior year and dated throughout their senior year of high school. They broke up just after graduation when Rachel left for New York and Santana moved to Kentucky. They thought that it was for the best since they would be far away from each other and to tell the truth Santana was worried about holding Rachel back from her dream of being on Broadway.
Santana suspects that it might be because it was another holiday that she was spending alone that brought her loneliness to the forefront of her mind recently.
She makes her way into her kitchen and turns on her coffee maker. She didn't have any plans for today other than her usual visit to the local homeless shelters. She had been dressing as Mrs. Claus for the past three years to deliver presents to the children living there. It was the only thing she had been looking forward to about Christmas this year.
The car is due to arrive at two thirty so that gives Santana less than two hours to eat, shower and get ready for the day ahead. She grabs the coffee pot and pours herself a large mug of the hot dark liquid; she needs it with the busy day ahead of her.
It has been a long day of delivering presents for Santana and now she only has two more homeless shelters left to visit. The car pulls outside of the second to last shelter and thankfully once again there aren't any paparazzi hanging around.
As Santana enters the food hall followed by Charlie her security guard, she notices a little girl sitting alone in the corner reading a book. She looks familiar, like she has seen her before, but she can't quite place it. It might jut be the fact that the girl is wearing a headband and a Christmas reindeer sweater which reminds her of Rachel in their high school days.
"Miss Lopez, thank you once again for being here today. The children have been excited all week" a short woman says as she approaches Santana and eagerly shakes her hand.
"It's my pleasure Mrs. O'Connor. The smile on these kids' faces is enough appreciation for me."
"I just wish that there was more people out there like you" Mrs. O'Connor beams.
"Thank you for the compliment Mrs. O'Connor, but really there is no need."
"Well everyone appreciates it, shall we get started? I see a lot of eager children."
"Okay kids, gather round Santana Claus is here and I come bearing gifts" Santana calls.
The room suddenly fills with the sound of small feet hitting the floor as all the children in the room run towards Santana. She spends the next half hour handing out presents and watching the smiles on the children's faces as they rip off the wrapping paper to get to the present underneath.
That was the reason she loves visiting the homeless shelters. These people had been through a lot and they deserved some happiness at Christmas. Looking around the room Santana notices the little girl still sat in the corner reading her book. She feels drawn to the child so picking up a present Santana heads over to where the girl is sitting.
"You didn't come to collect your present" Santana says placing the neatly wrapped gift on the table in front of the girl.
The girl stops reading her book to look at the adult sat next to her before her gaze shifts to the present on the table.
"You can open it you know."
"It's not Christmas yet" the girl points out.
"I know, but all the other kids have opened theirs."
"I'll wait so that I have something to open tomorrow."
"Okay. So what's your name?" Santana asks.
"Zari."
"Hello Zari, my name is Santana."
"Thank you for the gift Santana."
"You're very welcome. How old are you?"
"I'm four years old" Azaria answers proudly.
"Where are your parents?"
"I only have a mommy and she's helping in the kitchen. She said that she wouldn't be long."
"I have to go and make sure that all of the other kids got a present, but it was nice to meet you Zari."
"It was nice to meet you too Miss Lopez."
"How do you know my name?"
"Mrs. O'Connor told us. She played your music on the stereo, it made my mommy cry. You have a pretty voice."
"Thank you. I'll come and speak to you again later. I would like to meet your mom too."
"Okay" Azaria smiles.
Santana stands up from the table and smiles at the little girl as she picks up her book and carries on reading. As she makes her way back to where the children where playing with their toys she notices someone about to walk past her.
"Rachel?"
"Oh my god Santana" Rachel says pulling her ex-girlfriend in for a hug.
"Rach, what are you doing here?"
"Please don't make me say it" Rachel says with a crestfallen look.
"Rach, are you're homeless?"
"Mommy."
Santana looks towards the small voice and sees Zari; the little girl she had been talking to earlier looking up at Rachel.
"You have a daughter" Santana says.
"Yes."
"Zari told me she was four; I haven't seen you in nearly five years. You must have got pregnant not long after the last time I saw you."
"Santana you were the last person I slept with."
"Then that would mean that...Oh... Okay... No not okay. I think you need to repeat that."
"I haven't slept with anyone else. Azaria is yours."
"I haven't seen you in five years and then you turn up in a homeless shelter and tell me we have a child. This is a lot of information to take in at once."
"I'm sorry. Was I wrong to tell you?" Rachel asks.
"No. I deserve to know. I'm sorry. I'm just shocked, but we need to talk about this."
"I know. I'll ask Dorothy to watch Azaria and we can talk somewhere private."
Rachel takes the little girl over to Dorothy who happens to be Mrs. O'Connor. Santana just stares at her ex-girlfriend and her child. She can't quite believe this is happening and she must have tuned out because before she knows it Rachel is stood in front of her again.
"We can talk in Dorothy's office" Rachel says.
She leads Santana down a hallway until they reach a small admin office. There is a small couch in the room so Rachel takes a seat and gestures for Santana to do the same.
"So we have a daughter" Santana says with a hint of a smile.
"Yes. Do you remember when you came to visit Kurt and me in New York for Christmas and we got drunk?"
"I remember. We slept together, but the next morning we both agreed that we regretted nothing and that it was just something that happened."
"Well that was the night Azaria was conceived."
"So tell me, how did you come up with the name Azaria?"
"It means gift from God and I truly believe that's what she is. I was terrified when I found out that I was pregnant, but when I held her in my arms that fear went away. I never expected to be pregnant at that age, but for what it's worth I'm glad that it happened with you."
"Why didn't you call me?" Santana asks.
"I did call you; twice in fact. The first time was when I found out that I was pregnant. I wasn't sure if I should call you, but I felt that you deserved to know but when I called, it said that your phone wasn't in service anymore. The second time was when I went into labor, I tried your number again just on the off chance it would work but once again it didn't. I wanted you to know, I wanted you to be there when I gave birth. I know it was selfish of me but I didn't want to be alone."
"You were alone? Where was Kurt?"
"I haven't seen Kurt in years. He got an internship with Vogue in Paris. He left a few months after you did" Rachel says.
"I'm sorry. I should have been there. I had to change my number after some crazy fan got a hold of it."
"It isn't your fault Santana. We're the victims of circumstances."
"So how did you end up here?" Santana asks.
"Once Kurt left I had to pay the rent by myself. I realized quickly that I couldn't afford to stay in the loft and then I found out I was pregnant. I suddenly found myself in a situation where not only did I have to pay for an apartment by myself but I had to pay for a child too."
"I managed to find myself a small apartment and as the pregnancy progressed I had to quit NYADA. I managed to get a job working at a diner to help me pay the bills, but once I gave birth, I couldn't work anymore. I went into labor early, there were some complications and I had to have an emergency C-section. Azaria and I were both fine afterwards, but the medical bills put even more strain on my bank balance" Rachel explains.
"I came to find you once you know. I was back in New York after a tour and I came to the loft but you weren't there. I guess now I know why. I've tried calling you too but you'd never answer."
"I couldn't afford my cell phone anymore. I lost contact with everyone."
"You don't have to worry anymore Rach. I'm going to take care of you and Azaria, I promise."
"Santana you shouldn't feel obligated to us" Rachel says.
"Yes I should. You're the mother of my child and Zari is my daughter. You're both my responsibility and I'm going to be there for you. You're coming home with me and before you say anything, I'm not asking you I'm telling you."
"I wouldn't refuse even if you were asking. I don't want my daughter to spend another Christmas in a homeless shelter, but I want you to be sure that we won't be imposing on your own celebrations."
"You're not imposing; you'll actually be keeping me company. I usually go to Lima to spend Christmas with my parents, but I had a show here in New York last night so I was going to spend tomorrow alone."
"Then Zari and I would love to spend Christmas with you" Rachel says just as a Santana's bodyguard arrives.
"Santana we have to go to the last shelter" he says.
"Okay thanks Charlie."
"It looks like I have to go. You pack all of your and Zari's things and I'll be back at six o'clock to pick you up."
"Thank you Santana" Rachel says pulling her ex-girlfriend into a hug.
"I'll always be there for you Rachel, you and Azaria. I'll see you later"
As Santana enters her car, the reality of what has just happened kicks in. She has a daughter. A daughter with Rachel Berry; her high school sweetheart and the only girl she has ever loved. She probably should be more freaked out than she is but she isn't. She did once imagine having a child with Rachel but that was back in high school when she dreamed of them being married and having a future together but things didn't turn out that way.
However now she has that chance to raise a child with Rachel. They might not be married like she used to imagine years ago, but they could still be a family. She still loves Rachel and even if Rachel doesn't still feel the same way Santana will still be there for Rachel and their daughter.
Santana pulls out her cell phone from her pocket and dials her assistant's number.
"Hey Santana, what's up?"
"I'm sorry for calling you Jules and I know I gave you the week off, but I need your help. I promise you can have any time off you want and I'll even pay you a bonus."
"What do you need San?"
"I need a tree."
"A tree?"
"Yeah a Christmas tree and I need decorations too. I have people staying with me for Christmas on short notice and I didn't get chance to decorate my apartment. I also need groceries so I can cook dinner tomorrow, make sure you get something vegetarian."
"Okay, do you need anything else?" Juliet asks.
"I need presents. Just a few that a four year old girl will like, maybe some dolls and some books, she likes to read. I also need a cell phone."
"Why, what's wrong with yours?"
"Nothing. It's not for me, it's for a friend. You have the expenses card right?"
"Yes, it's right here in my purse."
"Great, can you drop everything off at my apartment?"
"Of course I can."
"Thanks Jules. I really appreciate it."
"It's not a problem San. I'm just glad that you're not spending Christmas alone."
"So am I" Santana admits.
"I better go and get the things you need."
"I'll talk to you later, bye Jules."
It's nearing six in the evening when Santana enters her apartment with Rachel and Azaria following behind her.
"Wow! Your apartment is amazing" Rachel exclaims.
"Thanks. I haven't had time to decorate for the holiday yet though."
Santana notices the real Christmas tree sitting by the window. She was expecting an artificial one this close to Christmas. She isn't sure how Juliet managed to do it, but her assistant never ceases to amaze her.
"So do you want me to show you to your room and then we can decorate the tree together?" Santana asks.
"That sounds good."
"I hope the guest room will be big enough for both you and Azaria" Santana says as she leads Rachel and her daughter to the spare room.
"Here's your room, after Christmas we can decorate it however you want so it feels more like your home. We can even get Azaria a bed so you don't have to share."
"I thought that you had just invited us for Christmas?"
"You were living in a homeless shelter and I have a spare room. It makes sense for you to live here with me. I told you that I would look after you."
"Santana" Rachel protests.
"Please Rach. Let's just have a nice Christmas and we'll talk about the future afterwards."
"Okay, fine."
"So do you want some time to settle in?" Santana asks.
"No it's okay. I think this little one is excited about decorating the tree."
"Alright then, let's get to decorating."
Santana leads an animated Zari over to the large Christmas tree. Juliet had left them two large bags filled with tree lights and a mixture of colorful decorations.
"I don't want to impose more than I already am, but do you mind if I cook dinner while you two decorate the tree?" Rachel asks.
"I told you, this is your home now. You can do whatever you want; you don't need to ask me. I asked my assistant to stock up the cupboards so there should be plenty of food in there."
"Thank you Santana."
"Look at me! I'm all sparkly!"
Santana turns around to find Azaria covered in silver tinsel.
"You know that tinsel is supposed to be wrapped around the tree, not wrapped around yourself."
"I wanted to be an Angel, like the one on top of the tree at the shelter."
"You make a beautiful angel, but we should start to put the decorations on the tree" Santana says picking up the box of fairy lights.
She only gets half way through the tree when she realizes how difficult putting lights on a tree is. She's never had to do it before, her mother always did it when she was younger and since she's been living alone she didn't really bother with a tree since she usually spends Christmas in Lima.
Santana just about manages to get the rest of the lights on the tree so it looks somewhat acceptable. She didn't want to take too much time doing it since Zari was patiently waiting to hang the decorations.
"Okay Azaria, you can put the decorations on now."
Santana finds a Christmas playlist on her laptop to add to the festive mood as they pile as many baubles and ornaments as possible onto the tree. It doesn't take long until their masterpiece is almost complete.
"Hey Rach, want to help us put the star on the top of the tree?" Santana calls.
"Sure" Rachel replies as she approaches the pair.
"Zari, you take the star and I'll lift you up so you can put it on top" Santana says.
She picks up the little girl, holding her tightly as she holds her out near the tree. Azaria places the star on as carefully as she can.
"Done!" she calls excitedly.
"Okay let's have a look at your handy work" Santana says lowering Azaria but keeping the girl in her arms.
"It looks great" Rachel says, even though the star is slightly askew.
"Good job baby girl" Santana adds.
"It looks so pretty" Zari smiles.
"Do you want to watch a Christmas movie?" Santana asks her daughter.
"Yes please."
"How about Elf? Your mom always love that movie."
"I haven't seen it for years" Rachel says with half a smile.
"Me either."
"You start the movie and I'll finish off my Christmas cookies. I found the ingredients I needed in the cupboard and nothing says Christmas like my famous sugar cookies!"
"Sounds good to me" Santana says.
Rachel goes back over to the kitchen while Santana sits Azaria on the couch, covers her with a blanket and turns on the electric fireplace to keep them warm. She sets up Netflix on the television and finds the movie she is looking for before taking a seat next to Zari on the couch.
Half way through the movie Santana takes her eyes off the television for a moment and notices Azaria looking directly at her.
"What are you looking at Munchkin?" she asks.
"You're really pretty."
"Thank you?" Santana says not really sure how she's supposed to respond to the child's statement.
"I'm not pretty. The other children at the shelter said I have a big nose."
"Sometimes people say mean things when they really don't mean them. What those kids were saying isn't true. You look a lot like your mommy; do you think she isn't pretty or that she has a big nose?"
Azaria shakes her head in response.
"That's right. Your mom is one of the most beautiful women that I have ever seen and you, Azaria Berry are the cutest little girl in the whole wide world."
The frown on Azaria's face quickly turns into a huge smile as she jumps towards Santana and hugs her tightly.
"I really like being here with you" she says into Santana's ear.
"That's good because I really like having you here."
Santana holds the little girl close to her chest, her little girl; her daughter.
"I thought that we could have some hot chocolate with our cookies" Rachel announces as she approaches Santana and Zari.
She's carrying a large tray filled with two large mugs, a smaller mug for Azaria and her sugar cookies.
"I remember when you used to make them shaped like snowflakes" Santana says as Rachel places the tray on the coffee table.
"You didn't have many baking implements so I had to cut them freehand, I thought a circle was the safer bet."
"I'm sure they'll taste good regardless of their shape" Santana says wasting no time in taking two of the cookies off the plate, passing one over to Azaria before taking a bite of the other herself.
"They're delicious Mommy."
"Thank you Zari."
"Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with us? There's enough room beneath the blanket" Santana asks, lifting up the blanket to prove her point.
"Sure" Rachel says as slips into the space next to Zari on the couch.
It's the next morning and Rachel wakes up slightly confused as she takes in her surroundings of a beautifully decorated room rather than the to the bland magnolia walls of the shelter. She was starting to believe that yesterday was a dream, but waking up warm in a silent room says otherwise.
It also feels strange waking up in a large bed compared to the single one she shared with Azaria at the shelter, speaking of her daughter; she wasn't in bed with her. Rachel can hear noises and talking coming from the kitchen so it's safe to assume that Zari was with Santana.
Azaria rarely woke before Rachel and she had certainly never left Rachel's side in the morning before so the fact that she has woken and gone to join Santana assures Rachel that her daughter felt safe and comfortable with the other woman.
Rachel gets out of the bed and pulls on the robe that Santana had left out for her. She exits the bedroom and enters the open plan living room that has the kitchen in the corner. She sees Zari sat at the breakfast bar whilst Santana is busy cooking at the stove.
Rachel approaches the kitchen and is noticed by her ex-girlfriend.
"Good morning. Merry Christmas!" Santana greets.
"What are you doing?" Rachel asks with a raised eye brow.
"I'm making pancakes."
"You're making pancakes?"
"Yes. Why is that so surprising to you?" Santana questions.
"I've never known you to cook."
"I made you breakfast in bed on our first valentines day together."
"That was just toast and orange juice, there was no cooking involve."
"It was the thought that counted. You said that you loved that I put the effort in."
"I did. It was a lovely gesture."
Santana smiles at the memory of their first valentines day together. She catches Rachel's eye and she knows that she's also lost in the fond memory.
"Those were good times weren't they?"
"The best. We had some good memories."
"Yeah and now we have the chance to make some more" Santana says as she plates up the pancakes and places them in front of Azaria.
"Thank you Tana."
"You're welcome. Do you want pancakes Rach? I have your favorite, blueberries."
"That sounds wonderful."
Once they have finished breakfast Santana leads Rachel and Azaria over to the Christmas tree that is now surrounded by perfectly wrapped gifts.
"Where did all these presents come from?" Rachel asks.
"I don't know, let's see what the tags say shall we" Santana replies picking up one of the gifts.
"Dear Azaria, love from Santa Claus."
"Santa?"
"Yeah. It looks like he knew you were here."
"Santana can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure. Zari, why don't you see if you can find more presents with your name on under the tree."
Santana follows Rachel over to the corner of the room so they can speak without Azaria hearing them but can still keep an eye on her.
"Santana, you shouldn't have."
"It's Christmas and I know that you both have had a tough time recently so I wanted to give her a good experience. I didn't spend too much as I know that you wouldn't want me too. I just wanted us to have a nice family Christmas."
It was in that moment that Rachel remembered why she fell in love with Santana all of those years ago. Instinctively, she places her hand at the back of Santana's neck and pulls her in for a kiss. Santana is surprised by the action at first but quickly and eagerly kisses Rachel back.
"What was that for?" Santana asks after they finally part.
"The pancakes, the presents, for everything."
"You don't need to thank me."
"It wasn't a thank you. I did it because I wanted too. I really missed you Santana."
"I missed you too. You know I always thought that we'd make it back to each other one day, it just took longer than I hoped."
"Well we're together now and we have a beautiful daughter waiting for us to open up Christmas presents."
"I still can't believe we have a child. Recently I have been feeling like something is missing in my life but since you and Zari have been here I feel like I found what I was missing."
"Zari and I had a lot missing in our lives too and in just twenty four hours you have managed to changed that. I will forever be grateful for everything you have done for us."
"I told you, you don't need to thank me. Come on, let's not keep Zari waiting any longer."
Rachel connects her hand with Santana's as they make their way back over to the Christmas tree.
"So did you find anymore gifts from Santa under the tree?" Santana asks as she and Rachel take a seat on the couch.
"I found lots" Azaria beams.
"There is one for you too Mommy."
Rachel takes the gift that Azaria is holding out and slowly unwraps it, hidden beneath the wrapping paper is an iPhone.
"Santana, you shouldn't have."
"You needed a cell phone and now we can always be in contact with each other."
"I can't afford a phone like this; the monthly rate must be costly."
"Don't worry about it; it's all taken care of."
"Now I feel guilty. I didn't get you anything."
"Having you and Zari here is the best gift I could ask for. Okay, I think that might have been the cheesiest thing I have ever said. I'll blame it on the holidays."
"Well thank you for the cell phone, it will come in useful. It's very much appreciated."
"It's fully charged and ready to use."
"We should take a photo. I don't really have many of Zari."
"Give me the phone and I'll take one of the two of you."
"I was thinking more of a family photo, one with of all of us."
"Okay, let's take a Christmas family selfie."
"Zari come here so you can have your photo taken with Santana and me."
"Okay but I want to be in the middle" Azaria says as she climbs onto the couch in between Rachel and Santana.
She stands next to Rachel and puts her small arm round her mother's neck so that their heads are at the same height.
"Tana, you need to come closer."
Santana moves closer to her daughter. Azaria then places her other arm around Santana's neck pulling both of her parents close to her.
"I'll take it since I have longer arms" Santana jokes.
She reaches out and takes the phone Rachel is offering her.
"Smile" Santana says before taking the photo.
As Santana reviews the photo they've just taken she can't help but notice how Azaria's dimpled grin is a perfect mix of her smirk and Rachel's million dollar smile. The more time she has spent around the little girl, the more she sees of herself in Azaria. There wasn't really any doubt that Azaria was her daughter. Santana knows that Rachel wouldn't lie to her, but seeing the similarities between Azaria and herself just cements their relationship.
"It's wonderful" Rachel says, taking the phone to have a closer look.
She smiles at the image of her family together and immediately sets the photo as the screensaver on her phone.
"You okay?" Santana asks her.
"I wasn't for a long time, but I think now I'm starting to be and I have you to thank."
"I told you that you don't need to thank me. We're a family, you and Azaria are the most important things to me now. I've always loved you and I still do" Santana admits.
"I love you too."
Santana had let Rachel go once before and she never wanted to make that mistake again. She knew that she had something missing in her life and she wasn't lying when she told Rachel that she and Azaria were the missing pieces.
She has been Santana the actress, Santana the music star, but now she has the chance to be Santana the mother and possibly in the future Santana the wife.
A/N My Christmas one-shots are back for a third time. Usually I try and post one a week for four weeks but unfortunately I'm behind schedule so I'll try and get all four out before Christmas. If not they might come a bit later.
Thanks to Beebeeborez for all your help.
Song: Fairytale Of New York by The Pogues ft Kirsty MacColl.