A/N: This one was such a doozy to get through, but I know where I want to take this story. Thank you to everyone who is enjoying this so far. It means a lot that people are liking it and reading it and I love receiving all the comments. Thank you! Enjoy this chapter because next chapter is going to be a time skip.

Time Unknown

Rafael choked on a breath as he woke up in his darkened room.

He was sweating profusely, his gown sticking to his body and the bandages feeling slick and wet against his injured skin. He shifted, wincing as a sharp pain assaulted his senses, drowning out the low hum of the monitors next to his bed.

He stared up at the ceiling, mentally drained as he tried not to focus on the lightless environment surrounding him. The small sliver of apprehension he couldn't help but feel inside was mentally and emotionally draining. The cover of night wasn't comforting to him anymore.

It was at night when things first went to hell. Alone in his apartment, he was taken off guard with a knife to the throat. Then, he was alone in a car trunk, where he was pushed around, talked down to and drugged, forced into a hazy land with terrifying visions of what his fate was to hold. And then he was alone in a basement, a place that simultaneously gave him hope for living and gave filled him with despair at the thought of impending death.

He was a night owl before this. He loved to be up late, cradling a cold drink in his hand while he worked or simply hung around his barely used furniture before crawling into bed, falling out for no more than five hours at a time.

The dark wasn't his friend any longer.

It was the enemy that allowed these invisible, threatening people (with whom he never truly believed deep down) to take advantage of him in a vulnerable place. It was that stubborn stupidity of his that allowed this to happen in the first place.

Rafael felt tears welling up in his eyes, and he let them fall down the sides of his face and into his sweaty hair. Alone, in this dark room that he didn't trust, would he allow the tears to fall. He didn't want to bear the thought of someone else seeing him being weak. He had far too many of those moments in the past couple of days.

Closing his eyes, he let a strangled breath escape his throat and turned his head to the side, trying to find some comfort in the pillow under his head. It smelled freshly washed, even if it mingled with the smell of his own perspiration. He briefly wondered if when they changed his bed linens in the mornings, after he was discharged, they would be stained with dirt and blood. He hadn't received a shower yet and he felt sorry for whoever had to wash the sheets he currently slept on.

His thoughts wondered to Liv, remembering she was going to pick him up in the morning so he could attend the private meeting with Zeke. He hadn't seen the young man since the night they both escaped and he was eager to. The kid saved his life…certainly something he didn't have to do, but he did.

There was a sudden, loud scuffling in the corner of his room and Rafael turned his head to look, eyes wide and fear making his heart seize in his chest. But his vision was blurred when a hard hand shot across his face, the stinging of the slap or punch or whatever it was, made him choke on a terrified scream.

Hands, so large and strong, wrapped around his neck and heavy body landed on his, straddling his legs and baring down on his throat.

Rafael flailed, desperately trying to find any sort of oxygen, but even if he could find any, it would escape him at sight above him. A familiar face, half visible in the light shining through the window from the lamp post outside, hung above him. There was a gleaming smile, dripping blood falling in rivulets from the man's mouth to his chest. He could feel the mixture of blood and saliva seeping into his gown as he continued to choke, growing weaker and weaker by the second.

It felt like an eternity before his eyes began to shut slowly, the burning pain in his chest dying as his brain shut, vision slowly fading to black, with the lasting image of the figure looming over him burned into his memory. He felt the shifting of the body on top of him and harsh breaths splaying over his red face.

"Watch your back, Rafi."

Rafael sprung up, hand clutching his throat and chest and effectively scaring his mother out of a deep sleep she'd been in on the sofa. His left arm had been put in a sling and casted, making it immovable against his body and that proved to be a good thing.

"Rafi? Sweetie, are you ok?"

Lucia stood up quickly and moved to his bedside to turn on the lights. Rafael breathed harshly, trying to calm himself from the nightmare he just woke up from and almost failing miserably. He could feel a sob bubbling up in his throat, but he swallowed it because he didn't want her to see. The last thing he needed his poor mother to worry about was the state of his emotional and mental health.

Nightmares weren't a good sign, especially ones so vivid and real. He could still feel the phantom hands wrapped around his neck, choking him to near death like in his dream. And the face of the person hovering above him…

"God, you're soaked. I'm going to get the doctor," Lucia wiped her hands on the blankets, intent on winding her way through the hallways to find someone who could help. Rafael stopped her in her tracks, doing his best to reassure her that it was a dream and nothing else.

She looked ready to argue, mouth open and fists on her hips in a pose that immediately brought him back to his childhood, but he all but pleaded with her to listen to him. She backed down a bit, shutting her mouth and crossing her arms over her chest, telling him to get on with it.

"Mamí, it was just a harmless dream. I'm fine. I'm getting discharged today and the last thing I want is for them to find another reason to keep me here."

"Rafael…," she trailed, voice breaking a bit as her arms fell pathetically to her side. He knew that she knew he was lying to her. He wasn't fine; he couldn't be fine after such a real dream like that, but he was going to suck it up and move on. He was going to learn to live with the lasting consequences of what happened to him because that's all he could do. He couldn't have a doctor or his mother or even Liv babying him every step of the way through his recovery.

It wasn't going to happen.

"Mamí, trust me. I'm fine."

Lucia stared at him for a good long while before she nodded and laid back down, making sure his pillows were fluffed up and the temperature in the room was lowered so he could cool off. She kissed his sweaty forehead, hit the lights and covered up with the hospital provided blanket, falling into sleep easily and unlike himself.

He stared at the ceiling the rest of the night and into the morning.

December 9th – 8:01 a.m.

Liv walked into the room to find Rafael staring blankly at the wall in front of him, Lucia shuffling around the room and humming a song as she hauled two full gym bags of clothing from his apartment onto the couch. He already had changed out of the hospital gown, wearing jeans and a sweater Lucia must have picked up for him sometime yesterday during her absence.

She spotted the large bouquet of colorful flowers and chocolates her squad dropped off yesterday during their visit. Barba begrudgingly accepted the hugs from Amanda and Carisi and gladly took the offered hand from Fin. They were all happy to see him awake, throwing glares and insults like he normally did. However, there was something off about the entire meeting that Liv hadn't pin pointed.

There was no doubt in her mind he felt uncomfortable with the interaction. Every time the door to his room opened, there was a split second of fear that seized his muscles, making him tense up with glazed over eyes. Only after he got a good look at who the intruder was did he calm down enough to relax back into the mattress of his bed. The first time she noticed it was when the doctor made his rounds and she bit her tongue to keep from speaking about it.

She didn't want to rat him out in front of the doctor because she knew how he was.

"Good morning," she passed him a steaming cup of his favorite coffee, taking a fifteen-minute detour just to pick it up for him. The look on his face was a cross between absolute love and genuine desire as he grasped the cup in his hand and stared at it for a second before taking a huge gulp.

"You have no idea how good that taste," he sighed, resting the cup to his chest and looking at her gratefully. She wanted to lean in and kiss him, but she suppressed the urge as Lucia came around the bed with a pair of worn out tennis shoes her hands.

"Ok, honey, give me your foot," Lucia grabbed for one of his legs and he gently shook her off, looking embarrassed and annoyed.

"I can put my own shoes on, mom. I'm not two."

Lucia scoffed, obviously having heard this argument more than once if Liv had the woman figured out yet. It honestly amazed her how much Lucia was willing to go through to ensure her son was comfortable and had everything he needed. Even if he was a grown man who was fully capable of taking care of himself, she still did her best despite him telling her she didn't need to.

She admired the hell out of the woman, that was for sure.

"Meanwhile, I was dressing him until he was 12."

Liv couldn't stop the laugh that escaped her at Lucia's comment thrown over her shoulder, causing Rafael to just shake his head. He expressed the fact that he'd been embarrassed by her so many times within a twenty-four period, he didn't have the energy to blush anymore.

He glared at her half-heartedly, knowing there was something humorous about the way his mother was so easily offended. His little smirk raised the corner of his smirk as he slid off the bed and dropped the pair of shoes in front of his feet.

"Ready to get out of here?"

"Yes. I want a hot shower," he looked up at her as he struggled to shove his feet into the shoes. Liv watched him for a full minute struggling before she knelt and held onto the shoe for him. He grumbled above her but didn't say anything.

"Well, I hope you don't mind kid's shampoo. Unless you want to smell like cherry blossoms."

Lucia found some humor in her comment, although she knew the woman was a bit sad that Rafael had declined to stay with her. The doctor mentioned how the first few days were going to have to be assisted, so he could assimilate to not being able to use his left arm while it was still healing in a sling. Beyond that, he was going to have to have help changing his bandages because it was damn near impossible to do it himself in his state.

Liv offered for him to stay with her, urging him to for reasons that were bigger than the injuries he sustained. She wanted, no, needed, to keep an eye on him. She wouldn't say that was the reason why, because she didn't want him thinking she thought he was uncappable of being by himself. The mask he was wearing since Carisi, Amanda and Fin had visited him yesterday was telling her that what happened to him hadn't broken him. It appeared when they tried to treat him like a victim, using soft words and platitudes that they used on the unfortunate souls they helped seek justice.

He couldn't hide from her, though. Liv was almost positive that was why he readily agreed to stay with her, only thinking about for a few quiet seconds after the question was spoken. She was elated he agreed, the anxiety she was feeling about him being released after only two days in the hospital dulled at his acceptance to her offer.

"I'll take the kid's shampoo. Hope Noah doesn't mind."

"He asked if you could sleep in his bed with him. He was upset when I said no. Somehow, I don't think he'll mind too much."

Rafael laughed and his traveled to the coloring book page Liv brought for him just a few days ago. She had caught him staring at that oddly colored Disney character from time to time throughout the day yesterday. A fond smiled played on his lips before he would snap out of whatever thought he was stuck in to talk to her.

She watched as he reached over and carefully peeled it off the side of the bed railing, folding the tape over the edges before he neatly folded it and shoved it into his jacket pocket. Her heart fluttered at the action.

"Sweetheart, I'm going to go check on your discharge papers and use the restroom, ok? I'll be back in a bit."

Rafael nodded and let the woman kiss his cheek. Lucia squeezed Liv's arm on the way out, leaving the two of them alone in the room as soon as the door closed. Liv moved to sit next to him on the bed, grabbing his hand and locking their fingers together.

"You ok?"

"Yeah…," he trailed, looking down at their locked fingers, "I didn't sleep much at all last night."

"Not tired?"

"Not really."

Liv nodded, letting the fingers of her free hand trace over the raised veins on the top of his, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Rafael sighed, knowing what she was saying without her actually saying it. She knew he was going to have nightmares and he wasn't going to be able to hide it from her.

"My mom called you, didn't she?"

She didn't say anything, choosing instead to rub his arm rather than answer. Lucia had called her early in the morning and expressed her concern over the phone. Liv did her best to calm the woman down, not surprised at all hearing about his odd behavior. It was to be expected.

"I know you want to help me, Liv," he said quietly, drawing her attention, "But I don't think I'm ready to talk about it quite yet."

And she understood that. Even if she didn't like that he didn't want to confide in her just yet, she would allow him the time to come to terms with it. She just hoped that these nightmares he was going through wouldn't stay. She didn't like the thought of them plaguing his sleep, because she knew vivid nightmares like that could ruin the waking hours.

She'd gone through it with William Lewis…and she wouldn't wish it anyone, especially him. He didn't deserve that.

"You can talk to me when you feel like you're ready. No pressure," she spoke softly to him, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek before their lips locked together in a more passionate one.

"Thank you."

Liv smiled and rested her forehead against his, feeling so close to him and savoring it in the calm quiet of his room. They sat there like that until Lucia arrived, nurse in two to sign his paperwork so he could leave. Once in the squad car she drove over, they held hands all the way back to her apartment and Lucia didn't comment on it once.

December 8th – 10:26 a.m.

Zeke twisted his wrists in the cuffs uncomfortably, his nicest shoes scuffling against the tiled floor as he sat next to Detective Tutuola. The man paid him no mind, too busy in his own world as he stared out a window overlooking the busy street in front of the court house steps. They hadn't spoken since they arrived but Zeke found himself oddly comfortable around the stoic detective. He also appreciated the silence rather than the forced small talk.

He shifted in his seat, crossing his ankles underneath the bench as he leaned back and looked down the long hallway. He expected to see more people milling around a court house, but it was a Tuesday and there might not have been a lot going on around there. However, Zeke hadn't ever been in a court building. These were places he was taught to avoid, so he had no clue what the norm was.

"You sure you don't want an attorney? They can get you one."

Zeke shook his head no again, a little taken aback by the sudden question coming from the man across from him. He was facing him now, hands shoved in his coat pockets as he leaned against the wall by the window. Zeke looked away, feeling uncomfortable under the scrutinizing gaze.

"Why?"

Zeke brought his cuffed hands up to scratch his neck where the itchy material of his dress shirt rubbed against his skin. He had the sense to pack the shirt when he was allowed to gather some of his belongings a few days ago, thinking it would come in handy. Plus, his abuelita, who hadn't been able to see, was always quick to remind him to dress his best in situations where he was meeting someone important. First impressions were important.

"I don't need one," Zeke replied.

Fin stared at him, almost looking like he was trying to get a read on him or spot the lies he was telling, but Zeke knew the man wouldn't find any. He was through with the story telling and the lies. He was going to be honest till the day he died after this.

"That's pretty ballsy considering an attorney can help your case."

"I don't deserve to be helped."

It was quiet on that side of the hall but Zeke didn't look up to know who the detective was looking at him. That answer probably wasn't what he was looking for but that's all he was going to get.

Those words came to him last night as he tried falling asleep in the comfortable hotel bed provided to him. When Detective Carisi stopped by the room yesterday morning to speak with him, he casually brought up the suggestion he think about it. Zeke thought it was odd the man was being so helpful and trusting towards him, but he didn't exactly question it. The more people he had in his corner the better, he supposed.

But that still didn't mean he deserved any help.

"What's your deal, kid? You could be going to jail for the next twenty years of your life and you're ok with that?"

Zeke didn't have an answer ready for that question. He moved his mouth to try and form words but he gave up and just looked back down at his clasped hands. He wanted to get this over with so he could learn his fate and move on. Hopefully, he could avoid jail for a little bit and just move out to Iowa under witness protection. It would be safer than staying in the city, but then again, he didn't deserve special treatment.

"Sarge."

Zeke turned to see Carisi and Rollins making their way down the hall, a tablet in the man's hand opened on a screen he couldn't see from his angle.

"What's up," Fin answered but didn't move from his post. Carisi swerved over to the bench where Zeke sat, tapping away at the screen before he spoke to him.

"A news report out of Vineland, New Jersey came in this morning. Three bodies were found on a backroad next to a pond outside of a golf course. Shot to death. Two of them were wearing Ryker's uniforms."

Carisi turned the tablet over in his hands, showing three pictures of familiar faces. Zeke took them in, immediately recognizing Romero's stupid grinning mugshot right off the bat. He had to recall back to that night in order to properly identify the other two. He nodded in affirmation, not needing to tell the detective those were the two involved.

"What about Victor?"

"They only found three bodies. Which means, he's at large."

Zeke bit his lip, suddenly feeling incredibly exposed and unsafe. If Victor was out, there was no doubt he was going to be knocking down every door in their neighborhood looking for him. There was also a good chance he was going to be looking for that Barba guy, because there was a lot at stake for not delivering. Zeke realized the detectives in front of him more than likely didn't realize that.

"He's looking for me…," he trailed off, looking between Carisi and Rollins, "…and he's looking for your friend, too."

"How do you know," Amanda stepped forward, on high alert at the words tumbling from his mouth. Zeke swallowed the lump in his throat, doing his best to prepare himself. He hadn't given them the intricate details about BX-9 because they didn't ask for it, but now, he was going to have to give them the run down. He hoped they listened.

"Victor is on a different level. He's a Captain in the gang. He has underlings that report to him and he bosses around. But he reports to the second tier, who they call the Colonel's and they basically handle all incoming business deals. Then, the General's at the top are the ones who sit on the money and look pretty."

"It's like the military," Fin commented, looking extremely interested now.

"But you said this was an outside client that contacted them," Carisi slid the cover back over the tablet and pulled out a notepad at Amanda's urging.

"Yeah. Someone had a connection and called, set up for your friend to be killed and paid good money for it, too. That's how they work."

"Is there any way we can find out who called? Do you know anyone that can help you out with that?"

Zeke scoffed and sat back, shaking his head at the woman for even suggesting he call someone. They had their men crawling everywhere around this city looking for him. They'd sooner kill their own mother's then help him out if he called. But she didn't understand that, based off the mean glare she was sending him for his reaction.

"Look, you guys don't get it. I am a traitor and that's the worst thing you can be in this gang. They have all their people looking for me at this very moment…officers, fucking nurses, mailmen, everyone. And he's looking for your friend, too. This isn't going to go away just because I'm in cuffs and he's in the hospital."

All three officers exchanged startled looks and Zeke took some sort of satisfaction in their responses. Stunned silence ensure that they understood what he was trying to get across to them. His tone was firm and his words were sure enough that they wouldn't question him on anything any further.

"Ok," Amanda said after a tense silence, "Then…just tell us all that you can."

He didn't get the chance to respond as a slim, Asian woman rounded the corner and immediately greeted the detectives with handshakes and an apathetic smile. She barely responded to their greetings as she waved them all towards the judge's chambers, ready to start this meeting and come to a proper agreement.

He didn't even respond to the well wishes from the detectives who still had questions they wouldn't be able to ask.

Time Unknown

"Three bodies were discovered near Vineland's Crystal Lake Golf Course in New Jersey after a local runner's dog lead them down an obscure dirt path on the edge of the course's pond. They were found early Monday morning with gun-shot wounds. It is believed to be homicide at this time in the police investigation."

Victor ignored the news report playing in the lobby of Ryker's, waiting patiently for an officer to pick him up so he could meet his fate. He didn't like being there, even though he knew a good chunk of the officer's there did business with his people. It didn't make the feelings that this place evoked in him any better.

He remembered being there as a child to visit his own father, brother and cousin, seeing them once before Christmas and once before his birthday every year until he turned eighteen. His father died that year and he didn't care for his brother and cousin, who were both serving life sentences for being assholes as far as he was concerned.

He tried his hardest to repress those negative feelings every time he stepped foot into this lobby. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. It definitely wasn't working now, just knowing what he was going to be facing as soon as he was allowed back into the visitation room.

His focus on the memories that plagued his head was momentarily distracted as he caught the eye of the cute red head sitting behind the window. She looked up to see him wink at her and looked away in disgust when he made kissy faces at her, clearly trying to garner her interest. Victor chuckled a bit, a smug smile on his face when she turned in her chair and face the other direction.

You win some, you lose some.

"And in Manhattan, a high-profile Assistant District Attorney who went missing just a few days ago was admitted to Bellevue Hospital after a bizarre turn of events that found him walking straight into the 16th precinct. At this time, the details of this case are being withheld from the media, but our sources say he is recovering at this time."

Victor's smug smile fell as he caught the end of the story and the smiling picture of the lawyer that slipped from between his fingers. He balled up his fists and shoved them into the pockets of his leather jacket, bouncing his leg as he rapidly went through what he was going to say when he got in there. He was going to be shredded to pieces, he knew this, but he hoped to see another day. Honestly, he was surprised he'd been able to live this long.

You didn't mess up a job this big without consequences.

"You."

Victor stood up and made his way towards the officer who would take him back into visitation. He wasn't one of theirs and he looked a little confused as to why he was allowed back after visiting hours were over, but Victor knew he wouldn't be in the room with them. That's how it always was, every time he visited here.

He stayed silent as he was lead down the familiar halls and nodded politely as another officer intercepted him and let him into the where the intimidating figure sat with his hands clasped in front of him. The cuffs he wore clinked against the table, mixing with the harsh slamming of the door that locked him and only one other officer into the room with the prisoner.

This officer was one of theirs. Victor could always tell when they easily leaned against a wall and pulled out their founds. The security cameras conveniently glitched out every time he or another Captain or Colonel visited another member in the slammer.

"Victor…"

The smile and welcomed arms that greeted him weren't what he was expecting, but he took in stride and humbled himself appropriately for the situation. If He wasn't mad, then maybe he would be in the clear.

"How have you been?"

Victor only sat after He did, pulling the chair in so he could sit tall and comfortably as he glanced around the darkened room. The only light on in the room sat directly above the table they sat at, casting ugly shadows across His face and table.

"You know…," Victor trailed pathetically, making some hand gesture to help illustrate the point he didn't want to bring up. He knew what he was trying to say and he bowed his head a bit.

"I knew this wasn't going to be easy and I'm sorry things went down the way they did. You didn't do anything wrong. I know…in the past I've been…unforgiving. But, there will be no repercussions for you and I keep my word on that."

Victor felt a weight lift off his shoulders, taking a deep breath he had been holding in since he got the collect call from Him yesterday morning. Victor couldn't keep the smile of relief off his face.

"Thank you," he breathed, thankful he was going to live to see another day, "And I want you to know we're already looking for that little traitor. Got my people looking high and low."

"Call them off."

Victor was taken aback by the demanding statement.

"I'm sorry?"

"Call them off," He replied easily, a charismatic smile gracing his features. Under the light, it looked evil, but it was that smile that won people over and made him so trustworthy. It was that smile that got him to the top of the tiers within BX-9 when he started doing business with them all those years ago.

"Sir…he's the reason this whole thing went to shit."

"I know," He replied and fixed the sleeve of his orange jumpsuit like it was the most well-known fact in the world. Victor furrowed his brow, genuinely confused about the turn of events. He'd been relieved only a minute ago but being thrown for this loop was making that elation die.

"I don't- "

"My time is up in 3 months. I'll be released March 10th. I'm getting out of here," He smiled, looking extremely pleased with himself over the news. Victor didn't say anything, making the man's smile deflate into an angry glare.

"I want them to sweat it out in that time. I want them to get comfortable. I want them to think they're safe and as soon as they start getting back to their everyday lives…I want to take it from them. I'm not just going to let them get away, dear Victor. I want to strike when they least expect it."

"But," Victor licked his lips and leaned in closer, "What about the client?"

"There was no client. This hit came directly from me. As a personal matter that I needed taken care of."

"You must have a hell of a personal problem with that ADA."

"You can say that," He grumbled and stood up, whistling towards the correctional officer who snapped to attention and slipped his phone back in his pocket. The heavy door opened that lead to the hallway, flooding the room with more light.

"Three months," He reminded him, reaching out a hand to Victor, who shook it firmly, "I'll contact you in three months. We'll pick it up from there."

Victor nodded and hesitated to leave for a moment, so many questions on his mind, but he decided against it. He had been generous in letting him live a little bit longer, so he wouldn't try and prod into the questionable statement the man made earlier.

Victor made it halfway to the door before he stopped at the call of his name.

"Do me a favor," He paused, a soft smile on his face, "Drop in on my wife and daughters…give them the good news."

"Yes, sir."