A/N: So, this chapter features just a few moments that happen in the time skip I mentioned in the author's note of chapter 12. There is no furthering of the plot, but there's tons of Rafi angst and Liv and Noah trying to make him feel better. Next chapter, we get right back into the story. Also, thank you to everyone who's still reading this fic and leaving me reviews. It makes my day to see feedback! Enjoy!

December 8th – 6:17 pm

Rafael settled back against the couch, sighing as the pain started to ebb away. He was freshly showered and in comfortable clothing, although he felt a little out of place in Liv's apartment. He wasn't used to being there without a professional mindset, so it was making things a little awkward for him. She sensed it when they first arrived and she took steps to ensure he assimilated easily into the environment, which he appreciated.

"Pizza sound good?"

"Yeah," he answered, feeling his eyes growing heavy. He refused to go to sleep, though. Not until he absolutely had to. He wouldn't ever admit that the dream he had in the early hours of the morning had spooked him more than he liked. He also didn't like the fact that both his mother and Liv knew about it either. He could feel their worried looks on him when they first arrived at her apartment and, although he appreciated the concern, it was unwarranted.

He would be fine. He could get through this.

Rafael took in the intricate detail of the rub spread out on the hardwood floor as he listened to Liv's voice drift over from the open kitchen. She joined him a few moments later, taking special care not to accidentally bump into him lest she cause him further pain.

"Feeling ok?"

He nodded and looked at her, smiling as he brought his uninjured hand up to rest on her leg. She laced their fingers together and pressed a shy kiss to his lips. He felt his heart leap into his throat.

One good thing that came out of all of this was the fact that he and Liv had finally broke through the barrier of their relationship. If anything would bring him comfort over his recovery, that would be it.

Of course, an arrest would as well, but that was far from his mind at the moment. He didn't want to think about his captors still being out on the loose, roaming the city and looking for him. Or Zeke.

Zeke…

He wanted to talk to him. Thank him. Lexi, as well. But Liv was adamant about him resting first and he knew she was right. Besides, according to her, they were unreachable at the moment and needed to stay that way until the coast was clear. Unfortunately, he was in the same boat. He suspected that was the reason she jumped on the chance to have him recover at her apartment. 24-hour security and a built-in cop? Yeah, he would be safe.

A part of him still didn't believe it, despite that.

December 17th – 7:30 a.m.

He'd been there a little over a week and he was feeling more comfortable.

He'd grown used to having other living beings in a living space, which was weird. He was so used to living alone, he was taken by surprise a couple of times when he had to consider that he wasn't by himself. Like that morning, when he woke and slid out of Liv's bed (she insisted he sleep next to her and he was in, no way, going to pass that down for the couch) to get a cup of coffee.

He stopped the slamming cabinet door just in time, but he still chastised himself for forgetting about the other two occupants of the apartment. He'd done that so many times in the past few days it was annoying and he hoped he assimilated to it soon.

He also hoped the nightmares growing in frequency would lessen, along with the eerie feeling that around every corner, there was someone waiting to catch him off guard. Too many times had been spoked by the sounds of knocking on the apartment door, or soft footsteps coming up behind him.

The second day he was here, he was so caught up in his fear, he pulled a knife on Liv who had come up behind him while he was standing in the kitchen, making a cup of coffee. He apologized profusely once he realized what he'd done, but Liv just hugged him and didn't say anything about the tears soaking into her cream blazer.

He tensed as the sound of a door closing in the other room reached his ears, but forced himself to relax as he remembered he wasn't alone. He vowed to get better. He had to.

January 16th – 4:50 p.m.

He needed to shave, but he didn't feel like it.

This was what depression felt like and he didn't want any part of it anymore.

His mood plummeted immediately after Christmas. The joy he felt during the holiday had been the calm before the storm, because the night immediately following the jolly day had him waking up screaming in cold sweat.

He remembered Liv securing him in her arms as he had a full-blown panic attack. He tried fighting her off before she began to whisper in his ear, reminding him where he was and who he was with. He calmed down, his breathing regulated (but the pain from his injuries was keeping him from truly calming) and his heart rate slowing eventually. He'd woken Noah and the little boy joined them in the bed, cuddling into his side in an attempt to make him feel better.

It did, for a while. He spoke in hushed tones to Liv, who looked at him with so much heartbreak and worry it consumed him with the most overwhelming guilt he had felt in a long time. He held a sleeping Noah in his arms well into the morning, Liv staying awake with him despite the fact that she had a double shift ahead of her that day.

The following few weeks left him with continuous nightmares so bad, he temporarily set up camp out in the living room, not wanting to force the woman awake with his constant whimpering and gasping for air as he woke in the middle of the night over and over. She tried to tell him that she didn't mind; she was there for him, to listen to him and to help him through, but he reminded her she couldn't do any of that if she was dragging her feet tiredly all day.

Part of him didn't want her to help him. He was ashamed of the fact that he this was so taxing on him to begin with. He thought those people (who had yet to be found) hadn't broken him, but maybe they had somewhere along the line. That wasn't Liv's cross to carry, but he could see it bothered her when he didn't open up to her and lay all of his emotions and problems on her.

He also knew it bothered her a great deal that he had yet to go into detail about those few days of being held captive, but he didn't even want to think about it himself.

He sighed and rubbed at his blood shot eyes, moving away from the mirror in the bathroom he was standing in. He hadn't exactly showered in a few days and the scruff on his face was unkempt, along with the clothes on his back. He had barely eaten and his sleep was practically nonexistent, but he didn't mind that. As long as he didn't have to relive those haunting images, he would live with only a few hours of sleep a week.

"Raf?"

Noah's little voice drifted down the hall, into his bedroom (Liv had taken to calling it their room and so he had picked up on the habit as well, even if he still considered himself a guest) while little, socked feet thumped against the hardwood.

The little boy appeared in the doorway, holding onto a freshly colored page displaying some random Disney character. Perhaps the only thing that could make him smile nowadays was this little guy, who never failed to make even the darkest of moments brighter.

It was funny that he had grown so close to both Noah and Liv in the past few weeks, but Noah was the only one that had the chance of pulling him out of his funk.

"What's up, pal," he asked in a gruff voice. He hadn't talked much lately, no matter how much Liv tried to get him to speak. He felt bad for always shutting her down when she did that, but he felt like she understood and he appreciated her never pushing him.

"I color this for you…," Noah held up the paper and he took it, unable to help the warmth seeping into his heart.

"Why you so sad, Raf?"

The question caught him off guard and he could feel some tears spring to his eyes, blurring his vision before he blinked them away. He cleared his voice, hands shaking as he clutched the paper tighter. Noah seemed to sense the sudden shift and moved forward, wrapping his arms around his pajama pants clad legs.

This time, he couldn't stop the overwhelming onslaught of tears falling down his cheeks and wetting the paper still in his hands. He held back a sob as Noah pulled back and grabbed on the sleeve of his fleece jacket. He moved the paper out of the way and looked down at the boy, locking gazes with his innocent eyes.

"It be alright, Raf. Don't be sad, please."

They stood there for a good five minutes until Lucy, who'd been in the living room the entire time, called him for his snack. Noah gave him a big smile and ran out of the room, unaware of the impact he just made on the suffering man standing in the bathroom.

Later that night, after a hot shower, shaving and dressing in actual jeans and sweater (that were ill-fitting thanks to his neglectful eating habits), he greeted Liv at the door with a nervous smile, wringing his hands.

The first thing he did was kiss her, taking her by surprise until she kissed him back. He could feel her relief when he pulled away, seeing her beaming smile as she took in his appearance. That smile faded a little, but not in a bad way, at the next words out of his mouth.

"…I want to tell you what happened to me."

February 8th – 11:52 a.m.

This was his first time out on the streets of the city by himself, and he was proud he was holding it together so well.

He sat in the farthest booth at the back of the restaurant, keep his eyes peeled on the door he could see from his position as he waited for Liv and the squad who had invited him out to lunch.

He almost refused, wanting to stay in and catch up on some paperwork (his boss had let him begrudgingly work on some of it, despite his being on leave and he was grateful for the distraction) but he couldn't refuse Liv's little plea that he come out and enjoy a meal on Fin.

He ordered a scotch and it sat untouched in front of him as he fidgeted in his spot. The depression he felt had subsided but it was still there, not as prevalent in his day-to-day life as much, though. Noah was responsible for breaking him out of the spell and not a day had gone by since then that he felt nothing but love and gratitude towards the toddler who, unknowingly, saved him from sinking to lows he hadn't experienced before.

Liv was also responsible in helping him overpower the negative feelings. Just knowing that she knew everything now helped him in more ways than he thought possible. The night he spilled everything to her, he felt ten times lighter and the dark clouds that hung over his head didn't seem so dark anymore.

That night, they joined together for the first time and he went through the night dreamless, with a feeling of happiness that wasn't normally felt, even before his abduction took place. Every night since then had been filled with hot passion that sent him spiraling out of reality for a blessed few hours before they curled together under the covers for a few hours of satisfied sleep.

It was truly the one activity that brought him any sort of relief from the harrowing nightmares he still faced on occasion, and so it became a staple in their nightly routine. But sometimes, when the mood didn't strike, he was just as content to cuddle with Noah and her and watch some kid's movie he couldn't follow, basking in the feeling of being around people who loved him and who he loved back just as much.

"Barba!"

Carisi's excited yell across the restaurant drew some looks and he rolled his eyes, welcoming the feeling of annoyance towards the younger man who looked up to him. Amanda and Fin greeted him with handshakes and he accepted a one-armed hug from Carisi as they all took their seats. Liv took her seat next to him and immediately laced their fingers together, sensing that he was tensed up just a little too much. He relaxed, though, and leaned in for a kiss, uncaring that he could feel prying eyes taking in the action.

"Please tell me you're coming back soon," Amanda said, taking a sip of her water, "Because none of us can stand your replacement. He's monotone and smells like moth balls all the time."

He laughed, a true smile gracing his features as he easily dived into conversation, happy to talk shop. He could feel Liv watching him as her thumb ran along the length of his index finger and when he glanced at her, he winked, letting her know he was doing ok.

Yeah…he was doing ok.

February 28th – 2:30 a.m.

"Nightmare?"

He looked over his shoulder at Liv, who shuffled out from the hallway in her oversized sleep shirt, hair a mess as she rubbed her arms for warmth. She was tired, having worked overtime that day and she fell asleep as soon as she crawled into bed.

He didn't mind, happy that she fell asleep curled around him and he listened to her breathing until he fell asleep as well. In fact, he did have a nightmare, for the first time in a week, but it was dulled. He didn't wake up gasping and shaking and screaming. He just opened his eyes and calmed immediately as Liv mumbled something unintelligible against his neck.

"Just a little one. Nothing major."

He turned back to look out of the living room window, watching the lit-up city scape spread out before him. Liv shuffled up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, careful not to press to hard into his injuries. The bandages were gone and his ribs were healed, but they were sore. The sling was long gone as well, but his arm was taking longer to heal than he would have liked. All other injuries were but mere scars, faded and leaving him with reminders of what he'd gone through.

"Maybe it was a mistake letting security go," she mumbled into his neck, her breath hitting the back of his neck as she spoke. He felt the weight of her chin on his shoulder and she took in the same sight he was.

"No. It's fine. If nothing's happened yet, I highly doubt anything will."

"The investigation stalled…on the back burner where Dodds wants it."

"That's fine- "

"It's not fine."

He wisely kept his mouth shut, knowing where this line of conversation was going to go and he didn't feel like putting up the argument that everything was fine. Liv wasn't easily persuaded unless she had proof in front of her, and the investigation falling short of expectation wasn't any help.

He was upset at first when he heard about Dodds wanting to shelve it for now, but he understood the decision. Yeah, it turned him into a nervous wreck thinking that he was at risk again, but with Liv by his side…there was just no way they would get to him again. They could try, but they wouldn't.

He hoped they wouldn't, anyway.

"I talked to my boss earlier…and the doctor. Both cleared me for work. I start back on the 20th."

Liv stilled and let go of a deep breath, her palms lying flat against his chest. She kissed his neck and moved so she could stand in front of him, her back to the window. She pulled him into a hug again and participated by pulling her closer and shoving his face into her hair.

"Are you sure you're ready?"

He asked that question himself so many times throughout the day. He even jokingly asked Noah in the middle of their Lego house building if he thought he was ready and the little boy said yes before he tackled him with a huge hug. So many factors went into his returning to work and all of them had be thought through, but beyond the careful planning that would go into his return…was he ready?

"I think. Only time will tell, really. Are you ready?"

Liv pressed her forehead into his neck again, fingernails trailing up and down his back as she contemplated what she was going to say. She was silent for a long time, her eyelashes brushing against his skin as he stared out at the city still.

"I'm ready if you are."

He cracked a smile and rubbed her back, letting his hands fall further down her body and play with the hem of her shirt. She chuckled when he tugged at it, asking a silent question he already knew the answer to.

They didn't crawl back into bed until 4am.

March 19th – 10:07 p.m.

Tomorrow would mark his first day back into the office and he was nervous.

He stood in the closet, staring at his collection of suits, ties and suspenders he brought over from his apartment with the help of his mother earlier that afternoon. Trying to decide what he was going to wear didn't involve the same amount of fun it did three months earlier and he was finding the fact that he was going to miss sweatpants and his ratty, old Harvard hoodie disturbing at best.

He always loved to look good, because appearance was always a first impression. He was all about making a good first impression.

"Pink striped suspenders for sure," Liv remarked from the bed, glasses pushed up on her head as she sifted through some files she brought home from work, "Grey slacks. The ones that make your butt look nice."

"You say my butt looks nice in every pair of pants I wear," he smirked over his shoulder and she shrugged, jotting down on a note with her pencil. He shook his head in amusement and grabbed the items she suggested. A few more finished touches and he was set for the next morning. He felt nervous, but also excited.

He wasn't afraid to admit he was going stir crazy and he was eager to head back into the office, where he could lose himself in work and argue with detectives about doing their jobs right. It was going to be a huge change of pace from what he'd done over the past couple of months, but he was going to welcome it.

Besides, being cooped up wasn't helping in improving his mood. Sure, he'd gone through a bout of deep depression that still lingered, and the nightmares were scarce, but still very real (not to mention the PTSD he was diagnosed with last month that left him tensing with every unaccepted action or noise in his vicinity), but staying in this apartment alone with his thoughts wasn't helping him in fully improving. He'd gotten away from the dark period and he was feeling better, but nothing could quell the want to get back into work.

He also knew the squad was looking forward to having him back. It honestly shocked him that they'd been so worried and he was touched when Carisi let it be known that he was part of the team. Of course, he had no doubt that they searched the city high and low along with Liv, but he didn't think they cared that much. As much as they annoyed the hell out of him, he would have done the same for them.

"Raf…turquoise socks? Why don't you wear your pink ones? Match, at least?"

He closed the closet and got into bed, already in his pajamas and wound down from the day, "If you really love me, you'll accept my fashion choices."

"Funny," she rolled her eyes and yawned, lifting her glasses off her head and deciding that was enough of work until tomorrow. She got up and threw the files on the dresser, hitting the lights on the way back.

"We should probably get up early tomorrow. I'll have to meet with Franklin and see the damage he's done with my cases," he said as he maneuvered the blankets from underneath him. Liv nodded but stayed silent. She sat and faced him, crossing her legs as he settled under the covers. He looked confused for a second as she just stared at him.

"You can still take another three months, you know."

He suppressed the annoyed sigh threatening to part his lips. She had, pretty much, mentioned the same thing every single day since he told her about his returning to work and, while she meant well, it was starting to drive him crazy. He had mulled over the decision so much on his own and finally came to a conclusion, but her constant worrying over him thinking he was ready when he wasn't, was a little grating. She knew it, too, because she always looked ready to defend her reasoning.

"Livy…I'm ready. I love spending time with you and Noah…but I'm going a little crazy being cooped up all day," he sat up, wincing at the small amount of pain still burdening in his body, and placed a hand on her exposed thigh. She curled her fingers around his with one hand while the other came up to trace the large, angry scar on his healed forearm.

"I know, I know. Just…with the investigation and the fact that we haven't found these guys…even with Zeke and Lexi's cooperation, how the hell couldn't we have arrested someone? It doesn't make any sense."

He agreed. It was odd they were having so much difficulty, because when they all put their mind to something, they could do it and do it quickly and efficiently. But they weren't perfect and somethings were just out of their control. He didn't like it either, but he accepted it. He'd been out on the streets of the city a few times by himself and he'd come back safe and sound, every time.

If anything was going to happen, it would have more than likely happened by now and he would hold onto that, if it meant making her feel even the slightest bit better.

"We'll worry about that when the time comes," he said softly and dropped back down onto his back. He gestured towards her side and relaxed as she smiled and quirked an eyebrow.

"Now, let's catch some shut eye."

Liv bit her lip and moved so she was on her knees and directly next to his side. He smirked as she pulled back the blankets covering his body and obviously took in the boxers he opted to sleep in that night.

"You sure want to just sleep? Going back to work means long hours…might not leave us much alone time anymore…"

He sighed playfully and she smirked, lifting her shirt over her head to reveal her bare body to his eyes and the idea of sleep he suggested (he was pretty tired) was the last thing on his mind as she straddled his hips attached her lips to his neck.

Things were starting to look up and he hoped they stayed that way.