Chapter 8

"I'm sort of glad Kurt had to go so suddenly. Gives us some time to talk. I haven't seen much of you lately," said Puck taking a seat in the chair across from the bed in Sam's room.

Sam had been just about to leave his room after changing his clothes to go check on Beth, when Puck came to the door, with two bottles of beer in one hand and a baby monitor in the other. Apparently, Kurt had to go and Puck was left with Beth. Sam couldn't even begin to guess why Kurt hadn't just come to get him to look after the baby, instead of dragging Puck into it, but he wasn't going to complain. He was getting his first sips of beer since coming out of the coma, thanks to this switch in the babysitter line up.

"I know," said Sam taking a drink of his beer, relaxing into the pillows on his bed, his feet on the floor. "You're rarely here. I figured you'd be living at the house full time." Puck had a suite of rooms in the house, just like he did. It was pretty much tradition in the family for everyone to live at the house, even Will had lived there for a time.

"After I moved out of Julian's house, I bought an apartment downtown. At a new condo complex by the river, close to D&E and to the hospital, that's where I spend most of my time. Well used to, now that you're on the mend I guess I won't be at the hospital as much. Thank God. Still busy at D&E though, you know how that goes."

"Yeah glad to hear you're so happy in the job you stole," Sam mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?" asked Puck.

"Nothing," Sam replied, speaking up. "I just said I'm starting to feel old. Home on a Friday night."

"You're a dad. Got responsibilities," Puck chuckled.

"True. Everyone else seems to have a hot date tonight. Did you know Mercedes went to a party?" Sam tried to sound casual, but really he was fishing for info. He wanted to know if it was a common occurrence for Mercedes to go out to parties with other men.

"Oh yeah? Good for her. Girl needed to get out more. Was that where Kurt was rushing off to?"

"Hopefully. I think she's spent more than enough time alone with Finn Hudson." That sounded a bit more hostile than he intended, but he couldn't help it. He just didn't like that Hudson kid.

"Finn? She went out with him again. Two nights in a row, sounds like it's starting to be a thing."

"There's no thing," said Sam sitting up straight in the bed, his head starting to pound. "Kurt just had to give me a ride. It will be the three of them." He didn't even know why he was getting so worked up, he didn't care who Mercedes was spending time with. She could date every guy on campus if she wanted to, he was only interested in Quinn. Mercedes could do whatever she pleased.

"Relax." Puck laughed. "I was just teasing you. I know Mercedes isn't interested in Finn. Still nice she's being social. I've been worried about her for months now. All she did was take care of you and Beth. It wasn't healthy."

"Now you can stop worrying. Beth and I will no longer be her concern."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Puck, putting his beer on the floor.

"I'm better now. I can take care of my daughter."

"Well yeah, but you know she's going to want to help you out."

"It might be better for her to start weaning herself away from us now. Soon Quinn will be back and things will change." He didn't want to be rude, Mercedes had done a lot for Beth, and Sam was grateful, but Beth needed her mother back and Mercedes needed to step aside so that could happen.

"Change like how?" asked Puck, the mood in the room suddenly getting intense.

"Quinn is Beth's mother," said Sam, looking Puck in the eyes.

"I do realize that," said Puck, his posture erect, as he stared Sam down.

"Just pointing it out," said Sam with a slight roll of his eyes.

"Mercedes is your wife, just pointing THAT out."

"I'm well aware of my ball and chain. Thank you," said Sam, tipping his bottle in Puck's direction, before polishing off the last of his beer. He set the empty bottle on the nightstand.

"I think you better check that attitude when you're talking about Mercedes," said Puck getting up from his chair.

"I was just joking," said Sam, holding up his hands in mock surrender, as Puck glared over at him. "Damn it's like she has full guard detail, Kurt, Mike, you, always quick to protect her."

"Kurt and Mike both care but nobody loves that girl like I do," said Puck, his words almost sounding like a threat.

"Not even me? I'm the one that married her and gave her control of all my assets." Something he still couldn't believe he actually did. There's not enough love in the world for him to be that dumb.

"Uncle Dwight used to say the only person you were capable of loving was yourself and after you cheated on Cede with Quinn, I'm inclined to agree with him," said Puck, finally sitting back down.

"Glad to see some things never change, still as judgmental as ever." Same as always Puck knows best and he was just some pathetic screw up that made his cousin look even better in his father's eyes.

"I know how you operate, smothering, controlling," he said ticking off the list on his fingertips. "And then you get bored and the wreckage begins. You break hearts."

Sam counted to three and bit his tongue, not wanting to take the bait that Puck was dangling. They had sparred over Quinn for years, Sam knew when to duck and when to take a swing by now.

"Never broke Quinn's heart. From what I remember that was all you. I still can't believe you dumped her."

"Neither can I sometimes, but it was for the best." Puck laughed lightly but Sam could tell it was hollow. Puck didn't find anything amusing about the subject. "She shouldn't have had to deal with my addiction."

"Addiction?" Sam asked, confused.

Puck ran his hand over his short brown hair. "Long story short I got hooked on coke, made Quinn's life hell with my moods and insane behavior. I was out of control and dragging Quinn down with me."

"I didn't know. How are you now? You look..."

Sam was at loss for words. He couldn't believe that perfect Noah Puckerman had fallen into such a dark place. He never would've believed it if he had heard it from anyone else.

"Clean and sober. Rehab, then going to meetings, reminding myself every day that one slip up and I could lose myself again."

Now that Sam focused on his cousin he could see a subtle change in the man. There was a dark edge that seemed to surround him. He no longer seemed as open as Sam remembered. His eyes were shielded, as if he were purposely masking parts of himself.

"Quinn didn't mention any of this last night," said Sam still feeling a little stunned by all Puck had just thrown at him.

She hadn't even told him back when they were stuck together during the limo crash. This was the pain about Puck she had chosen to hide. Sam wondered why she felt she couldn't confide in him, then and now. Quinn must have been too ashamed about the situation to talk about it back then, but last night they had shared so much, were so open. Why hadn't she told him about Puck then? It bothered Sam for some reason it made him wonder what else she'd chosen not to reveal.

Sam shook those thoughts off, he was being needlessly suspicious. All this stuff with Puck happened years ago, that was why it had never come up. They all had moved beyond it. He was the only one living in the past.

"I heard you went to see her. How's she doing?" asked Puck, as he rolled up the sleeves on his white button down shirt. He was pretty dressed up, button down, but no tie, dark pants.

"She's doing much better." Sam grinned. "Things are definitely looking up for her."

Quinn was free and home. Things could only get better. He just wished he could spend time with her out in the open, but he needed to tread carefully for now. Just like tonight, he planned to sneak out of the house and go to the Beacon to visit Quinn, no one would be the wiser, and the few staff members he would let in on the plan, would never betray his trust. Discretion was the only way, if he wanted to keep up the terms of his father's deal.

Puck looked up at Sam, surprised. "Really? Last time I was there she was pretty miserable being away from Beth. I guess you just got the magic touch."

"Guess so. It was indescribable seeing her again. I never knew how much I missed her until she was right in front of me."

All the days of anticipating, day dreaming, and fantasizing, as he waited for his chance to see Quinn face to face never could compare to the real thing. Seeing Quinn at the hospital just brought everything into place, quieted his confused thoughts and helped his world suddenly make sense. Everything seemed so terribly wrong in his life, except Beth and Quinn.

"Yeah." Puck smiled. "It just hits you doesn't it? Looking into her eyes, being close to her."

"Breathtaking," said Sam, almost to himself, his mind filled with the beautiful images of Quinn in grey silk from the night before.

"That she is," Puck agreed.

Sam regarded Puck curiously. It had been years but it seemed like his cousin still had some feelings lingering for Quinn. "You're speaking pretty highly of someone that's your ex."

"So are you."

"I've never stopped caring about Quinn. You know that." It was a subject they had never discussed explicitly. Once Quinn made her choice, Sam never mentioned his feelings for Quinn again to keep the peace and his sanity.

"That I did," said Puck taking a swig of his beer. "I'm just glad you were in the Middle East and we were in NYC so I didn't have to watch you drool all over my girlfriend."

Wow. He guessed a breakup and the passage of years had made the topic of Quinn fair game. If Puck wanted to go there, Sam would gladly oblige.

"Or maybe you thought that distance would keep you safe, didn't want Quinn coming to her senses and realize she chose the wrong guy."

Quinn had all but admitted that to him the night of the crash. Maybe if he had stuck around and continued to pursue her, Quinn would've come back to him. Sam thought he had done the right thing when he let her go, but lately some of the things Quinn had said were making him think otherwise. Perhaps they both had wasted years of their lives, time they could have spent together, if he had just pressed Quinn more back in high school.

"That never would've happened. Quinn knew her heart back then but now…" Puck's voice trailed off as he turned his attention back to his beer. Leaving Sam to fill in that huge blank floating between them.

A heat rose within Sam, his body growing tense. "Are you insinuating that she doesn't know it anymore? That her feelings aren't real?"

"I think she's been through a lot and her feelings are clouded." Puck shot him a look, almost daring him to disagree with that assessment.

"How ironic that Quinn's confused and clouded when you're no longer the object of her affection. Could it be you're jealous that she cares about me?" That's what this all had been about since they started the conversation. Puck had an issue with Quinn's connection to him.

"She's lonely and scared, leaning on the familiar, just like you are actually."

There was that tone again, the older, wiser vibe, that Puck liked to pull out when he was trying to put Sam in his place. He'd been doing it since they were kids, always feeling the need to educate Sam because he was a mere three years older.

"You condescending bastard," said Sam, his voice rising with his anger. "Don't presume to know how I feel."

"I do know how you feel, the real you, this stuff now is just brain damage."

"Oh so I'm damaged because I love Quinn? You've got a lot of nerve."

Who the hell did he think he was? Coming in there judging his feelings and trying to analyze something he knew nothing about. What he felt for Quinn was real and right and nothing anyone said would change that. He woke up from the coma with that certainty and it hadn't left him yet. Whatever he might have felt before the accident wasn't relevant now. How could it be? When all the signs were leading him toward Quinn and toward a new future with her and Beth.

"Love?" Puck shook his head, almost looking sad. "Sam you need to snap out of it. You're heading down the wrong path and you're going to hate yourself one day when you realize what you've done."

"Save it. I don't need another lecture about how I should feel about my wife. I've heard it more than enough. I get it. I loved her. We were happy, blah, blah. And while I can see Mercedes has some merits, I must have been seriously smoking to marry her instead of fighting for Quinn. Mercedes just doesn't compare."

Puck jumped up from his seat and rushed over to the bed grabbing Sam and pulling him to his feet by the front of his shirt.

"I should break your jaw for that," said Puck through clenched teeth. "After all that girl has lived through, sacrificed, all she's done for you."

Sam pushed Puck away, hard, causing the man to stumble backward a bit before he got his footing. Sam didn't want to fight, not over this. He hadn't meant for what he said about Mercedes to sound so harsh, but Puck was pushing his buttons, trying to tell him how to feel. Sam liked things about Mercedes and regretted the whole situation they were all stuck in. He wouldn't wish any of this on her. He agreed with Puck, she'd been through enough, wasting her college years dealing with him, but he was left with no choice. He had to see things through with her, for better or worse, his father had made sure of that.

"I do realize what she's done. She's been very loyal. I plan to stick it out with her. I owe her that much."

Puck wasn't convinced. He came back at Sam hard, getting into his face. "So it's like that? You're throwing Mercedes a bone for her loyalty? Why not just cut her a check?" Puck asked poking his finger in the center of Sam's chest. Sam tried to keep his cool, backing away from his cousin, trying to keep his building anger in check. "You are unbelievable," Puck continued. "How did I let myself get suckered in by all your whining and moping? I actually thought you loved your wife. Now I see I should've pushed a lot harder for her to be with Shane Tinsley. He's a hell of a lot better than you."

"You wanted her to leave me?" Sam asked, his jaw slacking slightly with shock.

Ever since he woke up, everyone had been telling him all about his great love with Mercedes and about how wonderful their marriage had been. Besides Julian, who was understandably upset, no one else spoke ill about his supposedly blissful union with Mercedes.

"Put it this way. If I could go back in time, you better believe I'd make sure Shane got that message on your wedding day. It would have served you right to have been left completely alone at the altar."

"That's messed up. How can you say that? We're family. You're my blood."

"Just because I haven't been around that much, doesn't mean I don't know what you've been up to. Quinn's going through hell because of you and your inability to keep it in your pants, one drunken night and you destroyed her whole life. And Mercedes, she took you back after everything and has been standing by you every step of the way and you pull this bullshit. I know you've been treating Cede like crap, verbally abusing her, messing with her head. Listen to me Sam," said Puck drawing in close, his voice a low growl. "Family or not, if I hear that you put your hands on her in any way I'll put you back in that coma."