A/N: Welcome to Day 1 of Lahar x Lucy Week, everyone! Just so we're all on the same page about this prompt, here's the definition as it applies to today:

Pontificate (verb):
To express one's opinions in a way considered annoyingly pompous and dogmatic.

So, we've all learned something new! YAY!

And, without further ado, I give you…

Day 1: Pontificate

A heavy sigh escaped him, two fingers instinctively coming up to push his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose. He would never understand just what his best friend's obsession was with coming to this horrendous place. Or why he was somehow always the one being dragged along. Honestly, he had much better things to be doing.

"Lahar, chill out already," Doranbolt groaned for the tenth time in the span of less than a few minutes. It had taken everything in his arsenal just to get Lahar to accompany him in the first place and, for whatever reason, the stuffy ass had even fought changing out of his uniform and into normal clothes. They were off the clock, after all. Still, Doranbolt was able to wrestle the man next to him into a pair of slim black dress pants and deep purple silk shirt that accentuated his amethyst eyes.

"I refuse to 'chill out'," Lahar replied coolly. "Why must you always bring me to this place?"

"It's called being a wingman," the Direct Line mage chuckled. He nodded to the bouncer outside of the club and sighed happily once they were through the doors. His eyes slid closed and he took in the familiar scent of sweaty, undulating bodies, too much alcohol, and… Well, fun.

Lahar sneered in disgust at the throng of mostly naked individuals. "This is revolting, Doranbolt." His eyes widened as a pair of hardly dressed girls giggled while bounding past them, covered in glitter and barely a stitch of clothing. "Are they even old enough to drink?"

Doranbolt shrugged. "I'm not drinking, so-"

"You're nearly thirty, you imbecile!"

Doranbolt blanched. "Don't say that so loud," he hissed, somehow making sure Lahar heard his voice over the steady thumping beat of the trance music booming from the speakers. "Wingman, Lahar! That means you-"

"It means," Lahar ground out, "I will not be caught up in this nonsense. You are a grown man, Doranbolt. This place is…" He paused and glanced around again. "Revolting."

"You said that already."

"It bears repeating," he deadpanned. "Multiple times. I can feel myself getting an infection just from breathing this air… If you can even call it that."

"Why do I associate with you?" Doranbolt groaned.

"I have no idea."

"Why can't you just loosen up?"

"I believe you do that enough for the both of us, Doranbolt."

"You're going to have a-"

"Don't. Finish. That. Sentence." Lahar knew his eye was already twitching from his agitation with the man next to him. "You and I should be in our homes, resting. We do have work tomorrow."

"It's Friday night!"

"And?"

"And we're off on the weekend," Doranbolt groaned. "We don't have to work tomorrow."

"There is nothing wrong with going in on your day off to make sure you're caught up. And while you might not value the concept of arriving on time, or being punctual in any sense of the word, I do." He shook his head, pushing his glasses up the length of his slim nose. "Goodnight, Doranbolt. I refuse to be caught up in this tomfoolery."

The Direct Line mage sniffed indignantly. "Fine, I'll just-"

"Dory-pooo!"

Lahar blinked as his friend froze, suddenly going pale and audibly gulping. "Doranbolt," he said slowly, "What was…"

"Dory-poo! Ohmigahd, you're here!"

"No… Who let her drink… Oh god…" Doranbolt suddenly grunted when a blonde-headed blur bounded forward and jumped up, her legs and arms wrapping around him. "H-Hello, Lucy…"

Lahar knew his jaw had fallen open in shock, but he couldn't even begin to care about that. Not when the Celestial mage of Fairy Tail pulled her head back and grinned at the man beside him. He'd seen her on several occasions before, and it wasn't too difficult to remember just how little she normally wore in the way of clothing. But this… This was on an entirely different level.

Still a mini-skirt, and still a skimpy top. Except now the fabric of the small skirt was white silk along the hem that sat below her hips, while the rest was rainbow tinted fur that barely reached past the swell of her backside. Two far-too-small triangles attempted to cover her breasts, with thin white strings tying behind her neck and back; also covered in rainbow fur. A little white silk choker, rainbow fur. Leg warmers from her knees down to the floor… More rainbow fur. Glowing plastic neon bracelets, obviously fake rainbow-colored extensions in her hair, heavy eye makeup and glitter. So much glitter. Her skin was glowing - as he may or may not have noticed any time he saw her - but the glitter made her shine. Just like the few twinkling stars in the night sky that were visible above Crocus.

"I missed you, Dory-poo!" Lucy pouted, rubbing her cheek along the Direct Line mage's. "You don't visit enough!"

"Dory-poo…?" Lahar asked slowly.

Doranbolt cringed and carefully pulled the blonde off of him, setting her steadily on her feet. With his hands on her shoulders, and at arm's length from himself, he smiled at Lahar. "Lucy is an… Affectionate… Drunk." His eyes suddenly twinkled with mischief, and he glanced at the bespectacled stick in the mud next to him. "Lucy, you forgot to say hi to Lahar."

Lucy's eyes widened, and she grinned as Doranbolt turned her toward the Captain. "Cappy!"

He cleared his throat. "That is Captain Lahar. You would-"

She waved him off and lunged forward, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Then wiggling from her sudden excitement. "No no no!" she giggled. "Cappy! Your name is too hard to say. La-harrr… Lar… Lair… Layer…" She giggled again. "Cappy Layer… Cappy Larry? Capillary!"

Lahar blinked slowly while his face turned an unnatural shade of red. Doranbolt was going to pay dearly for this. Just as soon as he could get the buxom, bubbly, and now - 'Oh god, no…' - bouncing blonde off of him. "Miss Heartfilia, if you would… Let go of me."

"Mmm," she hummed. "Nope. Oh my god! You smell delicious!"

"Are you… smelling me?!" Lahar glared at his friend, seeing the man snicker and slowly edge away from him. "Get her off of me!"

"Nah," Doranbolt laughed. "You should spend some time with her. Keep her outta trouble!" With that, he ran off and disappeared into the crowd. No way was he going to babysit Lucy while she was drunk. He could easily leave it up to Lahar, because the guy was responsible. Also, a sexy woman like her, rubbing all over him for the night… Yeah, it would do the guy some good. Maybe loosen him up a little.

Lahar let out a heavy sigh, his lips curving into a deep scowl as he placed his hands on her bare waist. "Miss Heartfilia." He slowly, and extremely carefully, pushed her away from himself, groaning when she giggled. "While it was a… Pleasure…" He used the term loosely. "Seeing you, I believe my time here is done. Goodnight."

Lucy's lower lip pushed out, and her eyes went wide. "You don't wanna dance with me?"

His jaw dropped, and he quickly shook his head to rid himself of the onslaught of images that assaulted him. Mostly of all the things he wished to do with the Celestial mage.

Lucy grinned again, then grabbed his hands as the music changed. "This one's perfect! It suits you!"

Lahar wasn't sure just how it happened, but he was dragged into the mass of bodies by the blonde. "What are you doing?!" he shouted over the music, his breath stuttering when she whirled around and looped her arms around his neck. An involuntary shiver ran through him as her slender fingers tickled the hairs on the nape his neck. "Miss-"

She giggled and started swaying in time with the music, nibbling her lip for only a moment before leaning forward to whisper in his ear.

I've been searching for a man,
All across Japan,
Just to find
To find my samurai.

He was frozen in place, and not just because he wasn't entirely sure how on Earthland he was supposed to dance to something like this. Her breasts were pressed flush against him, and somehow… So were her hips. Because he wasn't moving, her body brushed sensually from side to side over him, lighting up several million nerves that he really needed to stay dimmed.

Someone who is strong,
But still a little shy.
Yes, I need
I need my samurai.

Her breath fanned over his ear and down his throat, and he tensed when he felt her lightly toying with the bun that sat at the back of his head. There was no way he would allow her to pull his hair down. No way at all. Thankfully, the blonde didn't seem to want that either.

Lucy pulled back with a sultry grin, letting her hands slide down the raven-haired man's chest and stomach, and thanking the gods for the lightly defined muscles she felt. "You're a samurai," she laughed, reaching out to grab his hands and placing them on her waist. "You've got a topknot."

"Not really," he replied shakily. It wasn't a topknot. Not in the slightest. He wasn't sure when he'd started styling his hair this way, but… 'Oh, what does it matter?' The fact of the matter was, the blonde was still rubbing her barely dressed body all over him, and he was just standing there. Like a statue. Not that she seemed to mind, or maybe even notice.

"Dance with me," Lucy giggled, spinning to place her back against his firm chest. She reached up with one hand and sifted her fingers through his silky hair, pulling his head down to her neck. Her other hand covered one of his on her waist, and her hips swayed from side to side while she got lost in the music again. Her smile widened when she felt his breath fanning over her heated flesh, and her head fell back against his shoulder.

Lahar wasn't entirely sure what had come over him, but he decided that… Just for the night… He would let loose. Just this once. He might never have the chance to be near the blonde like this again, especially considering just who she was. A mage of Fairy Tail. So, just this once, and against his better judgment, he would indulge himself.

Lahar woke up slowly, and instantly regretted being conscious in the slightest. His head was pounding, his mouth was dry, and his limbs were heavy. 'Why… Why me?'

"Oh. My. God…"

A low groan of agitation spilled from his lips at the familiar, deep voice of his friend. "Why are you here, Doranbolt?" He really wasn't in the mood to deal with the Direct Line mage. Not at all.

"You're kidding me…"

Lahar sighed and moved to throw his arm over his eyes, then frowned when he found he couldn't move it and that something heavy was pinning it to the bed.

"Holy shit…"

"Doranbolt…" Lahar felt his lips pulling into a familiar scowl that always appeared when dealing with his friend. He hadn't even been awake for five minutes, and he was ready to kill the man.

"Dude… You…"

"I am in no way a 'dude'. Idiot..."

"Right now, you are. Holy shit…"

Slowly, Lahar's eyes creaked open to glare at the man across the room. Thankfully, the blinds were closed, so the sunlight that would have otherwise been streaming through the windows wasn't blinding. It was just… Mildly unpleasant. Just as his mouth opened to start ripping into the man in the doorway, he froze.

"Doranbolt… Shut the fuck up," Lucy grumbled, her arm sliding over the slender body that she was lying mostly on top of. "And stop staring at my ass."

Lahar blinked repeatedly, then shifted his gaze down to find a head of blonde hair lying on his chest. It was in that moment that the rest of his brain started functioning, noticing suddenly just how little clothing he was wearing - as in none, which was something he never did while he was asleep - and the fact that there was an equally naked body pressed against him. Legs were tangled in the sheets. Soft, warm breaths were brushing over his chest and down his stomach. One arm was lying over his and their fingers were loosely laced together.

"Wow…" Doranbolt whispered. "W-Well uh…"

"Doranbolt," Lahar sighed, closing his eyes again as Lucy reached down and pulled the blanket higher, making sure her chest was covered. He belatedly realized that the blanket itself had been pushed down to their knees… Meaning the mage that had interrupted his much needed rest had just gotten an eyeful of not just the blonde, but him as well. 'Serves him right.'

"Wow…"

Lucy scowled and slowly lifted her head, then turned to glare at the open door's voyeuristic occupant. "If you don't close that door, I will get out of this bed and beat you to death with a book."

"You seem oddly calm about all of this," Doranbolt mused. "Both of you, actually."

"Close. The. Door," Lucy growled.

"Leave the room first," Lahar amended. "Then close the door."

Doranbolt's brow furrowed in confusion. "Wait-"

Lahar blinked when Lucy's hand left his, and he watched in surprise - and maybe a little bit of awe - as she reached over to the nightstand and chucked the heavy tome he'd been reading in his spare time at the doorway. A loud thud was heard in the room, followed by a quiet crunching noise and a pained grunt. The book fell to the floor from where it was nearly lodged in Doranbolt's face, and all Lahar could do was stare with wide eyes as he slowly backed out of the room and closed the door with a hand pressed to his bloody nose. "... Wow…"

Lucy sighed and dropped herself back to the firm body beneath her. "Mm-hmm… More sleep now."

"That was… How…"

Lucy smiled and slowly lifted her gaze to the hazy lavender eyes that peered down at her. "Natsu is my partner," she whispered. "Throwing things at men that won't leave my bedroom is something I've gotten used to."

Lahar chuckled, then paused when he heard her light laughter filling the room with his. "And how exactly did we come to be in my room?"

Lucy grinned deviously. "You danced with me. And then you drank with me. And when you started lecturing me about it not being safe for me to walk home alone, you brought me to your house... And kissed me."

Wisps of memories from the night before danced along the edges of his consciousness. "I… kissed you."

She nodded, shifting so she was propped on one elbow. "Yes, you did."

"And… We're naked, because…?"

Lucy found herself laughing softly. "Because you told me how you feel about me, and…" A deep blush crossed her cheeks. "I may have reciprocated… A lot."

"You…" When Lucy nodded, he could only stare up at her. "And we…" She nodded again. "What…"

The Celestial mage rolled her eyes and giggled, then leaned down to press her lips to his - something she was already growing quite addicted to. She might have been drunk off her ass the night before, but enough time spent drinking with Cana had made it so it took a lot longer to get blackout drunk. She definitely remembered everything from the night before, and while it sucked that Lahar didn't… The way he was kissing her right then, and how his tongue flicked over her lips before plunging between them and tangling with her own, let her know that maybe they could have a repeat of the night. A reenactment, of sorts.

Sure, she'd wanted more sleep when Doranbolt finally left the room, but now? Now, she was more than willing to stay awake. Especially when the Enforcement Squad's captain slowly pushed her down onto the bed and settled himself between her legs. Yeah, she was definitely going to stay awake. And later, whenever they decided to leave his bed, she would need to find something to wear. Lahar had shown a surprising amount of strength when he'd quite literally torn her clothes from her body. In the living room.

'And he said he wasn't a samurai…'

That's it for Day 1! I honestly have no idea where this shit came from… Well, okay no. My husband's sudden desire to listen to trance/techno one day reminded me of this song… And then… Well, you see what happened.

I think I'm going to do what I've done for the past few pairing weeks and make it all part of one story. This one won't get extended like the others, and will just be random snippets in the relationship, but yeah. That's what's gonna happen.

Also, if for whatever reason, any of the posts are late... Well, I'm still working on writing them. Day 3 is almost done, and I'm going in order. So... There's that. I can assure you that all of them will get posted. Life is starting to calm down, but the holidays are coming up quickly. Hopefully, everything works out the way it should.

Here are the links for the things in this chapter:

Lucy's outfit:
i =dot= ebayimg =dot= com =slash= images =slash= i =slash= 181834102414-0-1 =slash= s-l1000 =dot= jpg

Lucy's leggings:
ep =dot= yimg =dot= com =slash= ay =slash= yhst-11088499841243 =slash= striped-multi-color-rainbow-sparkly-white-fluffy-leg-warmers-13 =dot= jpg

The song that they danced to (on YouTube):
- Butterfly. (watch?v=FhfRcWeT-lA)

I'll see you all tomorrow for...

Day 2: Paperclip

So, Review, Follow, Favorite! I love you, guys!

~~GemNika