Author's Notes: Thank you to those that are reviewing! Hope you enjoy the next chapter!
~TALES~TALES~TALES~
"Well done, Kim!" Trini cheered as he friend performed a perfect dismount from the balance beam. The gymnast beamed, enjoying the applause she was getting from her friend. It was true that it wasn't much, just a simple dismount, but Trini knew that sometimes friends needed a bit of cheering on, even when they did the most minor of things.
"Thanks," Kimberly said, accepting a towel Billy was holding out (not for her… in fact he was trying to pass it to a sweaty Zack but Kim took it anyway; why she didn't figure out that it wasn't her normal pink towel Billy honestly didn't know) and made her way over to the table where Jason and Tommy were already sitting, drinks in hand. Trini quickly joined them, followed soon by Billy and Zack (the latter of whom now with a pink towel draped over his neck and shoulders). "You guys going to put on a show for us?" Kim asked.
"Maybe next time," Tommy said with a shy smile.
"Pity," Kim said. "I like to see you sweaty."
"Like you are now?" Tommy asked.
"I am NOT sweaty, Thomas Oliver. I am glowing."
"I wish they'd just kiss already," Jason muttered to Trini, causing her to cover her mouth to hide her laughter.
Ernie came by, passing over some drinks. "Hey kids."
"Hey Ernie," Kim said, grabbing a drink (that Zack had ordered). "Anything new?"
"Not much," Ernie said, taking a new drink order for Zack. "Just been rereading that article about the Power Rangers. Amazing what they managed to figure out-"
"Wait, what article?" Jason asked, sharing a concerned look with his friends.
Ernie stared at them in surprise. "You guys haven't seen the article in the Angel Grove Gazette?"
"We're teenagers," Zack pointed out.
"Yeah, newspapers and us are unmixy," Kim said. When everyone stared at her she shrugged. "Sorry, my little cousin Buffy says that all the time."
"Oh… right. " Ernie walked over to his counter and grabbed a copy of the paper. He took a moment to grab Zack's second drink before returning, passing the paper to Jason. "The Gazette's been keeping track of the Rangers and put out a summary of everything they've learned and their theories on whom they are. It's really interesting everything the reporters have been able to dig up."
"Ernie, Bulk got stuck in the bathroom stall again!" Skull cried out.
Ernie shuddered. "And on that wonderful note…"
The Rangers didn't bother to say goodbye, all of their attention on the paper that was now spread out on the table. It was flipped to Page 4 (the Rangers were important but they didn't qualify a Front Page Headline; that honor belonged to the Gazette's continued coverage of the deadly Banana Bandit) where a photo of the entire team was spread out above the fold, the words 'MIGHTY MYSTERIOUS POWER RangerS' blazed above said picture.
"…it's a decent picture, at least," Zack said weakly.
"It does have an excellent spacing of our frames," Billy said.
Billy was right, it was a great picture. It was from a battle the Rangers had waged against Mighty Minotaur, a monster with firehouse arms that Rita had unleashed a week earlier. They had for once all managed to get to the fight at the same time (even Tommy, though that was mostly because Zack had been with him when Zordon had signaled them), each gripping their weapons and standing tall and proud, ready to take on Mighty Minotaur. The photo had them each in a rather impressive stance, as if they'd been posed. If it weren't for the fact that it was set above an article that was trying to reveal their secret identities they all might have wanted copies to hang in their bedrooms (Tommy especially, as he'd been forced to move in with Jason and was tired of staring at all his awards and posters… including the one that proclaimed 'Jason: 1, Evil Green Ranger: 0').
Jason was more focused on the article itself. He glanced over it, the corners of his mouth twitching. He fought as long as he could before he just gave in and began laughing. The rest of the gang stared at him, worried that their identities being revealed had broken their leader's brain (Tommy wondered if that meant he could take over as leader and kick Jason out of their room).
"Uh, Jase?" Zack said, staring with concern as the red-clothed teen threw back his head and cackled like Goldar.
Jason couldn't speak so he chose to just push the paper towards Tommy. The newest Ranger blinked before looking down at the article, instantly seeing what was tickling the Red Ranger's funny bone. "Guys, I think our secret is safe."
"What do you mean?" Kimberly asked, glancing at the other patrons of the Juice Bar who were now staring at Jason, concerned that the normally in-control martial artist was acting like a loon.
"Let's just read the Red Ranger's entry, shall we?" Tommy said. He cleared his throat and began to read. "'With his passion nature and commanding presence, our experts believe that the Red Ranger is a warrior prince who has come from a far off land or a time long past to protect all of us from villainy. It is clear that the Red Ranger will one day reveal himself as the heir of some long-lost throne, taking his place along with his loyal knights in helping guide our world to a new golden age'."
"They've theorized that Jason is a monarch?" Billy said.
"Ye be correct, loyal knight," Tommy said with a smirk.
Jason, who'd finally gained some measure of control, shook his head. "Be careful how you talk, big brother."
"Huh?" Trini said.
"Tommy's entry." Jason took back the news paper and passed it to Trini. "Read it. I'll just begin laughing again."
The Yellow Ranger raised an eyebrow, skimming the article before she began to snicker. "Oh, this is just ridiculous. 'The older brother of the Red Ranger, the Green Ranger sought to defeat his little brother to secure his claim to the throne, allying with the dark witch Rita. Realizing the error of his ways, the Green Ranger made peace with his little brother and now services him as one of his most loyal knights'. Tommy, why didn't you ever tell us?"
Tommy rolled his eyes. "Just what I need, a long-lost brother."
"Should I let mom and dad know you'll be over for Christmas morning?" Jason joked, clapping his hand on his friend's shoulder. He held out his hand and Trini passed the paper back to him. "It's just as bad for the rest of you."
"Do I even want to know?" Kim asked, leaning against Tommy as she struggled to contain her laughter.
"Well, yours is a bit closer that ours, but not by much," Jason said. "'The youngest of the Rangers, the Pink Ranger would rather everyone be happy and not fight. While she is several years away from being an adult she has a very mature attitude'."
"What, they think I'm a really tall 6-year old?" Kim asked.
"More likely that they think the rest of us are in our late twenties," Zack reasoned. "Read mine!"
Kimberly, decided to continue the route the others had, took the paper from Jason. "Oh wow… 'Clearly the most educated and serious of the Rangers, the Black Ranger is the scholar of the group, shaking off the silliness of some of the other Rangers and pushing them to keep their mission in mind. He is the main advisor of the princely Red Ranger'."
"Well, I do take my dance moves seriously," Zack chuckled, accepting the paper from Kimberly. "Let's see here… 'The Blue Ranger in the most immature of the Rangers, loving to play pranks and have fun. He is also a flirt, making sure to show off for any woman that happens to be nearby'. Billy, Billy, Billy…"
"I think they mixed you two up," Trini snickered.
"I believe so as well. It is clear that this periodical's informational connoisseurs somehow altered our personas-"
"Here, read this," Zack said, handing the paper over to the Blue Ranger.
"Of course," Billy said. "Ah, Trini's entry. 'Though his body is young the Yellow Ranger is mature beyond his years, showing a powerful mix of youth and maturity'. Hmm, I suppose that's-"
"Wait, what?" Trini said, staring at Billy. "Did you just say 'his'?"
"Affirmative, but only because this periodical used the masculine pronoun."
"They think I'm a guy?" Trini exclaimed in shock, snatching the paper away and looking over the article. "How could they think I'm a guy?!"
"I'm sure it's just a typo or something," Jason said, trying to soothe his teammate's temper. While she looked rather calm and collected the rest of the team knew that Trini, when angry, was an absolute terror. Yes, Jason or Tommy might scream in rage and go into a few roundhouse kicks, and Kimberly could give the cold shoulder like a pro... and even Billy and Zack could get grouchy... but Trini was in a different league. When Trini got mad the best thing one could do was dive for cover until the storm passed over.
"But what if it isn't?" Trini asked. "What if they really think I'm a guy?"
"Well, that would help keep your identity a secret," Tommy reasoned. Unlike the rest of them he hadn't picked up yet just how dangerous an angry Trini was. Kimberly and Zack both stomped on his feet to shut him up.
"That's not the point!" Trini growled.
"Trini, I'm sure it was a mistake," Jason said again. "Maybe tomorrow they'll print a retraction."
"Maybe tomorrow the police will find their mutilated corpses," Trini hissed, her eyes flashing yellow.
Tommy stared at her with wide eyes while Billy and Kim slowly moved away from their enraged yellow-loving friend.
Jason, realizing that it fell to him as the leader to be the brave one, called Ernie over. "Okay, it's just a stupid paper. No reason to get upset over it. Here, I'll prove they're morons. Ernie, which of the girl Rangers do you prefer?"
"Well, the pink one," Ernie said (Kimberly debated if she should be flattered or weirded out that Ernie found her hot while Tommy mentally wondered if he could kill Ernie for creeping on his girl and blame Rita's spell on it). "But since she's the only female Ranger I guess I really don't have a choice."
"Uh, Ernie?" Zack said, nervously looking over at Trini, who was grabbing the table so hard that it was creaking and groaning. "What about the other girl Ranger?"
"…the black Rangers a girl?" Ernie said. Zack began to cough and sputter and Tommy had to smack him on the back, frightened his friend was choking on his own tongue.
"No, the yellow Ranger," Jason said helpfully.
Ernie stared at that. "Really? You think the yellow Ranger is a girl?"
"Why don't you?" Billy asked, unable to stop himself. He knew that whatever Ernie said would be the equivalent of tossing an accelerant onto an inferno. But the inventor and scientist in him just couldn't survive not knowing the truth.
"Well, the uniform for one thing," Ernie said. "The pink Ranger is the only one to have a skirt. The yellow Ranger wears the same body outfit like the rest of the guys."
"That… is a good point," Tommy said, only to get elbowed by Kimberly.
"And if you look over the Yellow Ranger's body, you can tell it is a lithe guy," Ernie said. "The Yellow Ranger's weapons are pretty manly too. And the voice is supposed to be a deep baritone, from what I hear."
"Is… that… so…" Trini groaned out, sounding like some deep dark monster released from the bowels of hell. "Well, thank you… Ernie." Trini stood up and stomped away, leaving her friends awkwardly staring at the door she'd exited through.
"Well," Jason said as Ernie went to go take an order, "we're all going to die."
"I don't know about that," Tommy said.
"Ernie, Bulk got stuck- Oh, hi Trini! What are you doing in the Men's Room? Hey… no… no… NOOOOOO!"
"…I stand by my previous statement."
~TALES~TALES~TALES~
"Has anyone seen Trini?" Kimberly asked, placing her books in her locker. School had gotten done and for once none of the teens had been called away to defeat a monster. Kimberly had been concerned the teachers would notice that they hadn't ducked out, as they tended to do that… a lot… but not a one said a word (little did the Rangers realize that Rita tended to cast spells to make the teachers forget the Rangers had missed class; she wanted them dead and them having detention would only keep them from meeting their demise. Rita was an idiot).
"I saw her in Math Class," Billy said, hefting his book bag. "I tried to converse with her but she mumbled a string of words that sounded like 'kill the phonies' and I decided it would be much wiser to allow her the proper time to vent her frustrations."
"That's… not good," Kim said, gulping.
"What's not good?" Tommy asked, walking up to Kim and Billy.
"Trini's upset."
"About the whole 'the Yellow Ranger is a guy' thing? Yeah, I'd be upset too."
"No Tommy, you'd be angry or frustrated. Trini is upset and that can only lead to death and destruction." Kimberly turned to Billy. "Do you think there is time for us to fly to China and wait it out?"
"I suppose, if we got tickets now-"
"Come on, guys!" Tommy laughed. "So she's upset… how bad could it be?"
Billy and Kimberly both shuddered as they remembered the last time Trini had gotten mad…
~One Year Earlier…~
"I can't believe those jerks!" Kimberly growled as she stomped out of mall's detention office. "How the hell could they think you were shoplifting?"
Trini didn't say a word, her hands balled into fists as she made her way down the florescent-lit hall. Zack was just behind her, holding her shopping bags, while Billy stood next to Kimberly, ready to offer whatever support his friend needed. Jason was supporting her in his own way… namely by reading the riot act to the overly zealous mall security guard that had decided to manhandle his close friend. Had Trini been in better spirits she would've felt bad for the heavy set man; he was pressed against a wall, chin wobbling as Jason tore into him, coming just a hair's breath away from threatening him with bodily harm.
It had all started innocently enough. She and Zack had been at Good Vibrations checking out new cassettes, looking for something that they could all work out too. That was always a problem; Jason like something with a hard beat, Zack needed something smooth and flowing so his hip-hop/karate hybrid style could really get moving, and Trini preferred music that was steady, allowing her to get into a rhythm. Jason trusted her to pick out something great so she'd gone to make sure Zack didn't just get a ton of hip hop.
They'd made their selections and paid for them when the trouble started. Walking through the exit the alarm had gone off and she and Zack had complied, allowing the clerk to wand them. Zack had been clean but Trini kept setting the alarm off. The clerk, an old friend, had been very nice about it and things might have ended there if the security guard had come by and decided to stick his nose into things. He'd taken one look at her, seen she was with Zack, and instantly decided that she must be a punk thief. Trini had found herself in handcuffs despite the clerk's complaints, paraded down the main drive of the mall while the guard had loudly shouted about 'her kind' ruining the mall for all the good, honest folks.
Zack had run and got her friends; he'd then done one better. Trini hadn't been surprised when Jason, Billy, and Kimberly came in to the detention office as the guard was on the phone with the cops. She'd been VERY surprised when Lt. Stone had entered. At first she'd been mortified, unable to believe that the man that had led her 5th Grade DARE program was going to see her in handcuffs. Dread had turned to shock and vindication when Stone had leapt to her defense; it turned out he'd been at the mall picking up some stuff for his girlfriend when Zack had told him what had happened. Remembering Trini and her friends Stone had come to set things right. It took him only a minute to discover that there was a security tag stuck to Trini's shoe, explaining why the alarm had gone off.
That was why Stone was calmly letting Jason vent his rage at the pudgy security guard who'd decided to act like a Southern Sheriff from a bad 1950s movie.
"At least they gave you those vouchers," Billy said weakly.
"Billy, man," Zack said, shaking his head, "free grub from the food court doesn't make up for being paraded around by a racist Dudley Do-Right."
Trini still refused to say a word.
"So, this is bad," Kimberly whispered to Jason once he'd rejoined the group.
"Very," Jason said. He'd always been more in-tuned with Trini; even Kimberly didn't read their friend as well as Jason did. "I'd hoped me going Captain Caveman on that idiot would cheer her up…"
Before Jason could finish his thought the unusual happened. The teens had just made it into the parking lot when a man who looked like he should be at a comic book convention strode towards them, hitting Trini's shoulder.
"Mind yourself," the masked man who looked like an alien ninja shogun warlord snarled. "You don't know who you are dealing with, little girl."
"Me?" Trini said quietly, her right eyelid twitching. "I'm afraid you don't know who YOU are messing with."
"Excuse me?" the masked man growled, balling up his fists. "Do you realize just what I could do to you?"
"No… but let me explain what I WILL do to you."
What followed was a 7 minute long speech where Trini explained exactly what she would do with each of the man's internal organs. Jason paled, Kimberly shivered, Billy gagged, and Zack looked around for an escape route as Trini tore into the masked man, graphically describing how she'd torture him if he gave her the chance. The ninja shogun warlord guy was, by the end, trembling like a frightened kitten as Trini jabbed her finger into his chest.
"And the other hamburger will ALSO be made of your lungs!" Trini roared. "So, do you really want to mess with me?"
"…no," the masked man whimpered.
"Good," Trini said, twisting away and marching through the parking lot, her friends following close behind.
"Uncle?" two young girls dressed in outer space-meets-punk outfits called out, running to the man as Trini and her friends left. "Uncle Lothor, is everything already?"
"Yes… yes…" Lothor said to Marah and Kapri. "But… uh… I think we should hold off our invasion of Earth for another decade or so."
~TALES~TALES~TALES~
"Yeah, this will be bad," Zack said.
"How was I able to see that?" Tommy asked, looking around with wide eyes. "I wasn't even in Angel Grove when that happened!"
BEEP BEEP BEEP
The teens all jumped, startled out of their trip down memory lane (save Tommy who was still fearful he'd suffered brain damage and that was how he was able to see the memory the rest of the gang had remembered) when their communicators went off.
"Yes Zordon?" Jason asked after making sure that no one was around.
"Rita has sent down a new monster called the Bag Hag. It is attacking downtown Angel Grove. We are teleporting you now."
"Right Zordon," Jason said. "Trini isn't with us though-"
"I have contacted her and she will be joining you there." Something in Zordon's voice sounded off. "…she was acting strangely, so be on your guard. I fear she might be under a spell."
"Why do you think that?"
"…you'll see."
"Did Zordon just… avoid an issue?" Billy asked.
"Really, really bad," Kimberly muttered.
"Seriously, how was I able to see that memory?!" Tommy exclaimed.
"Alright guys… we can deal with Trini later. It's Morphin' Time!"
"Dragonzord!"
"Mastodon!"
"Pterodactyl!"
"Triceratops!"
"Tyrannosaurus!"
They felt themselves morph just as Zorodon teleported them to the scene of the battle. People were running away from a creature that looked like a cross between a witch and a paper bag costume. Her head was a brown grocery bag, there were plastic bags hanging off her arms, and she wore blue reuseable bags on her feet.
"Do you ever get the feeling Rita is running out of ideas?" Tommy said.
"Well, until she can find an orange power coin…" Zack quipped.
"Ah, the Rangers!" the monster screeched. "I've been waiting for you dearies!"
"And we've been… waiting… for…" Jason trailed off, the monster tilting her head to the side as she tried to figure out why he was stammering. The rest of the team followed his gaze and finally spotted Trini who'd teleported near them.
"…am I observing what I believe I am observing?" Billy asked.
The rest of the Rangers could only stare at their yellow teammate in shock. Trini had somehow managed to sew a long skirt to her costume. The yellow cloth went down to her angles, looking like something Marge Simpsons would wear. Her boots had been replaced by high heel shoes with stiletto heels. The top of her costume hadn't been altered… instead Trini had apparently stuffed the chest with tissues or large cantaloupes, making it look like she had breasts larger than most supermodels. She'd even put lipstick on her helmet's mouth.
"Ooooh, you think you can defeat me?" Trini said in a breathy tone that better fit Marilyn Monroe. She skipped over to her team. "Come on, let's take this monster on."
"…Kim, I'm scared," Tommy whispered.
"We all are."
The Bag Hag merely stared at the Rangers before remembering she was supposed to be trying to destroy them. "You'll never be able to defeat me!" the monster yelled. The monster began to fling bags full of bombs and other explosives at the Rangers, forcing them to leap and dive out of the way. Whenever they tried to move in to deliver a punch or a kick the Bag Hag would simply throw a bag over their head and kick them away, forcing the other Rangers to help their bagged comrade free him or herself. The only one who didn't get bagged at some point was Trini but that was because her heels slowed her down/
"This isn't working," Zack said.
"We can't get in a hit!" Tommy complained.
"Yeah, you guys can't strike her and us GIRLS-" Trini shouted, "can't either."
"Uh, yeah, right." Jason watched as the Bag Hag began to dance about, mocking them. "We need to call on our weapons."
"Right," Kimberly said. The others nodded while Tommy pulled out his Dragon Dagger. "Power Bow!"
"Power Axe!"
"Power Lance!"
"Power Purse!"
"Power-wait, what?" Jason turned, watching as a bejeweled yellow purse appeared in Trini's hands, her power coin emblazed on it. Jason let out a curse when his sword appeared over his head, dropped down right on his helmeted-skull. He rubbed his aching head and picked up his weapon. "How does that even-"
"You brute you brute you savage brute!" Trini screamed in her fake high-pitched girly voice. The other Rangers could only watch as Trini began to beat the monster with her Mighty Morphin' Hand Bag, the Bag Hag screaming in pain and trying to shield herself.
"Wow, she's beating her up worse than Zack did that racist pilgrim," Kimberly said.
"I am concerned our yellow associate is enduring an emotional cessation," Billy said.
"…do you think it was a psychic connection thing related to our powers that let me see that memory?" Tommy asked, tapping his dagger against his helmet.
"I didn't know monsters could bleed," Zack said, tilling his head as Trini screamed, delivering a rather vicious blow to the monster's crushed-in skull.
"Okay, looks like I need to do something about this." Jason said, noticing that several bystanders were watching them… and beginning to feel sympathy for the monster that was bearing the brunt of Trini's rage. It would do no good for any of them if the papers began proclaiming that the Rangers had gone nuts and enjoyed beating their enemies into bloody pulps. He took a step forward, only for the Bag Hag's arm to fly past him. He paused before turning back to his team. "Tommy, I need the Dragon Shield."
"Do you really think that's ne-"
"I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!" Trini screamed as she used the straps of the Power Purse to strangle the Bag Hag.
Tommy quickly placed his hand on Jason's chest, transferring the Shield to his best friend. "Please try and bring it back in one piece."
"No promises."
Jason slowly walked up to the mushy remains of the Bag Hag. Normally, when they defeated a monster, it would go up in a magical blast that would leave nothing but smoke behind. Apparently, however, if one beat and strangled a monster it didn't so much explode as die like everything else. Trini was still straddling the Hag, her hastily added skirt bunched around her waist, the stuffing she'd put in her top making her look lopsided. The Power Purse was covered in monster gore to the point that Jason prayed that Trini never called upon it again, as there was simply no way to ever repair it.
"Uh… Tri… I mean Yellow," Jason said, remembering that there were people around. "How about you be a nice lady and get off the monster's corpse?"
Trini shook her head though. "You're just saying that."
"No, I really need you to get off the corpse-"
"Not that!" Trini roared. "Lady! You're just saying that because you know I want to hear that!
"I'm not," Jason said gently, placing his hand on her shoulder.
Trini sniffed. "I… I'm a girl, right?"
"Yes, you are a beautiful, gentle girl. Now please get off the creature you just murdered."
"Okay," Trini said, allowing Jason to help her up and lead her back to the group. Trini rested her head on Jason's shoulder and, after a moment, he wrapped an arm around her, giving her a hug. "Do you think this will settle everything now?"
"I'm sure it will," Jason said.
~The Next Day…~
ANGEL GROVE GAZETTE
RED RANGER REVEALED TO BE LESBIAN, IN TRYST W/TRANSGENDER YELLOW RANGER!
"…I hate reporters so much," Jason growled as he looked at the paper.
"I'll go get my purse," Trini said coldly.
~TALES~TALES~TALES~
NEXT TIME: Kimberly, realizing that Tommy has an image issue (due to him having been evil) sets up a special Big Brothers/Big Sisters program where they, as Rangers, will take a group of kids out for the day. The children selected? Four 6-year olds named Connor, Kira, Ethan, and Trent.