p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"Stiles had been spending some time with Scott after Malia left. The two would meet at the school to practice Lacrosse for the next year. It was becoming routine, and Stiles liked it. Something else to anchor him to reality and expel some of his erratic energy. Today Stiles had to leave early, he was meeting his dad at the station for dinner. It was his everlasting attempt to get his pops to eat a salad once in awhile./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"After a long battle with his dad on what he should and shouldn't eat, Stiles headed home. As he drove he came across a scene that was not too out of the ordinary in his now supernatural filled life. There was someone lying in the road. Before he really thought it through his Jeep was pulled over on the side of the road and he was running to the seemingly unconscious body. Before he really had the chance to survey the situation he was ambushed./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"A pack of hunters emerged from the treeline and grabbed him. Stiles of course couldn't keep his mouth shut. "Oh hello boys, fancy meeting you here. If you wanted a date you could have asked." His snark was met with a fist to his stomach. "Jesus… what the hell." A very large man walked up to Stiles, getting in his face. "Where is she." emShe? Who? What?/em Right now was not the time for Stiles' ADHD to flare. He started rambling trying to deflect, trying to figure out who the hell they were talking about without actually asking. "We know you have been dating her, where is she? Where is the Coyote?" Realization struck Stiles, they must be looking for Malia to get to the desert wolf. It wasn't necessarily a secret that she had been looking for her. "I don't know." The first time he hadn't lied to save his ass, or his friends. A fist landed on his cheekbone sending stars through his eyes./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"Stiles kept with the "I don't knows" until he was sure that they were going to break his bones if he didn't give them something other than those three words. He felt the blood drip from his nose to his lip, he was sure the next punch would break at least his nose. "Okay, Okay!" He yelled desperate to get them to hesitate for a moment. His breathes sharp and shallow. "She left. The last time I saw her was two weeks ago. She came over, stayed with me, then she broke up with me and said she was leaving with Peter Hale. I don't know where, but dear god she left. Stop using me as your boney punching bag!" Stiles braced for another impact from his smart ass comment, but once again he was surprised when it didn't happen. "Figures." The large man grunted. "Always a step ahead. Let him go." He turned and walked away./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"Stiles was released from the grips of the two other men, and when he got his bearings they were gone. He got into his Jeep and started to drive home. He needed to shower, not only because he was sweaty from practice, but now he was sure his shirt was soaked with blood. emWhy is it always me that they find and prod for information?/em Stiles was angry now, just simply tired of being the punching bag of information. He huffed as he walked through the house, directly up the stairs to get into the shower./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"-/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"Fresh out of the shower Stiles wandered into the kitchen. He was hoping to find the whiskey his dad kept to dull the ache of his face. Just as his eyes fell onto the bottle, he heard a knock on the door. emWho the hell?/em When Stiles pulled the door open he found Lydia standing on the porch. emShit./em He had still been trying to "give her space" but he wasn't sure how to handle this. "Hey." He tried to sound excited. "What are you doing here?" He watched Lydia as she shifted her weight to her other foot. "I wanted to talk to you." emOh god, she knows I have been avoiding her. /emStiles tried to quell his thoughts as he invited her in and they walked up to his room./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"As she stood in his room, Lydia's eyes fell onto Stiles' face. It was like deja vu and Stiles could feel it. "What happened?" Stiles sighed with a bit of a laugh. "Well I was ambushed by a pack of hunters, they were looking for Malia. I told them she left after they made a pretty good attempt to rearrange my face." He looked over at Lydia, she took a step further into his room. "Well, you are a good guy for trying to protect her." Her voice was sweet, and it almost made Stiles sick. He was silent for a moment before he couldn't hold it in anymore. "How the hell am I a good guy Lydia?!" emStop while you can still pull yourself out of this hole Stilinski./em He shook his head. "I didn't get this for being a good guy and you know it." His voice had a little more venom than he intended. Lydia stepped back, crushing her lip between her teeth. emOh for shit sake/em. Realizing what he had done once again, he tried to backtrace. He couldn't get a word out before Lydia was gone. Down the stairs and in her car./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"Stiles slams his fist into his crimeboard, adding bruised knuckles to the list of injuries. "Good going you idiot!" He yelled at himself. The teen plopped down on his bed, biting at his nails. His leg bouncing anxiously. It was deja vu all over again and in more ways than he wanted to think about. The one instance that was plaguing him was that when he and Malia ended he didn't have anything to say, he wasn't hurt that he made her want to leave. But this time it wasn't Malia, it was Lydia and this hurt. It was about 20 minutes before Stiles jumped off of his bed, changed and climbed into his Jeep. It didn't take long for him to find himself parked in front of Lydia's house./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"It appeared that she was the only one home. Stiles found himself wondering how much she was actually left alone. A pang of guilt struck him when he thought about her being alone when supernatural hell broke loose. He climbed up to Lydia's window, as he had done before, and he knocked gently. She looked startled as she walked over to the window. When she noticed who it was she sighed heavily. He couldn't hear it, but he could see it. She unlocked the window and turned away as Stiles climbed through the frame. Sudden awkwardness flooded through him, he stopped just inside the window, shoving his hands in his pockets. Simultaneously looking down and chewing the inside of his cheek. "What do you want?" Her voice broke the silence./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"Her tone hurt him a little, but he knew that he had to say his peace before she kicked him out. "I'm sorry." His voice was a little weaker than he intended, but he didn't really mind either. "I've been on edge since Malia left…" his rambling stopped when she scoffed. Lydia was jealous of Malia, but she swallowed that feeling before she turned to look at Stiles for the first time since he came in. "That timeframe doesn't fit." Her matter of fact tone was almost chastizing to Stiles which she hadn't intended. "I mean, you have been avoiding me. You are on edge every time I am in the same vicinity as you. It isn't just Malia." She crossed her arms as if to solidify the point./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;""Giving you space." Stiles mumbles. "Avoiding." Lydia retorts. Stiles sighs hard, knowing that he couldn't lie to her. She knew exactly what it was. "Okay. Avoiding." A smirk pulled at his lips. He missed the banter between them, and he missed how Lydia would beam when she was right. It made his heartache. That opened the door for conversation. The two talked for a bit, but Stiles could tell there was something that Lydia wanted to say, but was keeping quiet. He didn't push. "Well, I better go." He stood from his seat on her bed and walked toward the front door. There was some tension as Lydia said goodnight to Stiles. She didn't want him to leave, but she couldn't bring herself to make him stay./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"-/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"It took a little time, but Stiles' bruised face healed, and his knuckles cleared up. But that seemed to be the only thing that was gone well for him. He hadn't had a solid night's sleep since Malia left. He still had nightmares, and he hated waking up alone but he rarely woke screaming. It was usually a silent scream, accompanied by a cold sweat. His eyes looked a little bruised, and when he looked in the mirror he looked exactly like he did when the Nogitsune spit him out on the floor./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"The Sheriff was going to be working a double, like he did all the time these days. Scott was working the clinic all day so Stiles felt like staying home. This summer was nothing like he had planned it to be, so it didn't surprise him when there was a knock on his bedroom door and he noticed it was just shy of 8pm. "Yeah?" He turned finding his dad poking his head through the door jam. "You have a visitor. I'm on my way to work. Double, you know. Love you." Then he was gone before Stiles could protest that he didn't want a visitor, he was enjoying reddit too much. Assuming it was Scott, Stiles stood, sighing with annoyance but when he turned he found Lydia standing in his doorway. emDamnit Stilinski, . .Up./em "W-What are you doing here?" His voice confused./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;""I wanted to talk to you." He could hear the nervousness in her voice. emWhat in the hell could make her so nervous about talking to me? Isn't this supposed to be the other way around? /emThoughts swirled in his head. "Have… Have you been sleeping lately?" Here eyes squint a little. emShit./em His stomach drops a little. "No, not really." He fidgets anxiously standing in front of his computer chair. "Whats going on?" She takes a timid step into the bedroom closer to Stiles. He didn't know how to answer. How was he going to say that he constantly dreams of everything he did, everything he didn't want to do, and that Malia leaving made it worse?/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;""Well." He sat down on the side of his bed, Lydia took that as her cue to sit next to him. "I guess it is like PTSD in a way. I still picture everything I did, everything he did. One of the worst is when he stabbed Scott. But I can't tell him that every time I look at him I feel what I did." He had said too much, but it just rolled off his tongue. Why was it so easy to talk to Lydia. "That is because it is PTSD Stiles. You need to talk about it, it will make you feel better." He tensed beside her. How could he just openly talk about it? emNope. Not happening!/em "Obviously when you are ready." As if she read his mind. "Scott has Kira, and we have to have each other." She looked into his whiskey colored eyes. "You can always talk to me." She patted his shoulder./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"emAnd tell you what? That I am more messed up than I lead on? /emStiles let his lips curl up a bit, telling Lydia that he appreciated it without actually saying it. She smiled back. How was it so easy for them to have these conversations, or conversations without speaking at all? It suddenly hit Stiles that he may have lead on too much wondering if she knew more than she let on. If she did, she didn't say anything. They talked for a little longer, mainly about Scott and Kira, then a little about how Isaac was in Spain. It felt natural again, like it had before the Nogitsune struck. It was getting late, and Lydia tried to stifle a yawn. "You should get some sleep." Stiles mumbled a little to her. Fighting the urge to sleep himself. "Yeah I should go." With a smile on his face he walked her to her car. Before Lydia got in, she spun and pulled Stiles into a hug. He froze momentarily. Wondering if this was really happening, but before he could question it he wrapped his arms around her in return. Falling into it as if this was something they did regularly. He remembered how she held onto him when they tried to battle the Nogitsune. Stiles shivered a bit. It ended all too soon, and she drove away./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"-/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"He fell into sleep quickly, but his dream came with it, quickly. This time it was sweetly familiar./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"emHe can feel her strawberry blonde strands twisted in his fingers. His arms wrapped around her like she is going to float away. Their lips are moving, she tastes like raspberries. "Stiles…" His breath hitches, "What Lydia?" Then everything changes. They are in a cold damp hallway. "No, nonononono" his words stream together. Lydia jerks away from him, pain and terror in her eyes. "No… Lydia." He is saying the words, but they are not the words coming out of his mouth. "You know he is dying right?" The pitch of his voice is different. /emOh god… It's not "No." Lydia's words pierce him. "He is dying and he wants you more than ever." Lydia turns and tries to run through the hall. He follows behind her. Taunting her. "You know… whatever you do with me, he will still feel it, even though we are separated." He feels his tongue wet his lips. "Lydia don't listen!" He tries to yell, but nothing actually comes out. He can feel the fear radiating from Lydia./em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"emThen she is pressed against the barred gate. His body is pressed against her. He hears her breath catch like it has in his dreams. "DON'T" He tries to scream again. He knows what is going to happen. Suddenly he feels what the 'not him' feels. He wants to throw up, but he feels the arousal and he just wants to be sick. He would never do this to Lydia, she had to know that. Not like this. He feels his hand grab at her, ripping at her dress. A sob breaks the momentary silence. He is fighting with every part of him to make it stop. This isn't him, she has to know that. He is feeling her terror, and it is morphing with his own. He has to wake up, he has to make this stop. "Please don't Stiles." Her words send a shock to his heart. She thinks it is him./em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"Stiles wakes screaming. Gasping for air. When he finally orients himself he feels sick, his body still responding to how the Nogitsune felt in his dream. Running to the bathroom he emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet. "Get ahold of yourself Stilinski! That never happened!" emDid it?/em Suddenly he felt even more disgusted in himself than before. He kept telling himself that never happened, that was not how it happened. But did he really know? He was separated, focused on saving Lydia that night. He then realized all the small things. Lydia's timid steps into his room, she was jumpy around him. emOh god./em He stumbled back into his room, still feeling like he would be sick. He reached for his phone./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"He texted Lydia, while he laid on his bed trying to calm himself. He needed her to tell him he was okay. The phone rested on his chest while he stared at the ceiling. *emding ding/em* /p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"*emAre you okay? - L* /emThe text read. He took a deep / *emI didn't wake you up did I? - S/em* br / *emNo, I was reading. Now. Answer my question! - L* /emLydia, all /br /Without giving every detail, he told Lydia about having a nightmare, it was the most terrifying one yet. He was seeing through the eyes of the Nogitsune and he couldn't make it stop. Lydia never asked him for details or asked him what "it" was that he wanted to stop, or who was involved. She told him that he was okay, and that they would get through this. He relaxed a little seeing those words, but it didn't make him feel any better about what he was sure actually happened. When Stiles realized that it is 3 AM he insists on Lydia going to sleep, and she doesn't argue./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"After a long battle with his dad on what he should and shouldn't eat, Stiles headed home. As he drove he came across a scene that was not too out of the ordinary in his now supernatural filled life. There was someone lying in the road. Before he really thought it through his Jeep was pulled over on the side of the road and he was running to the seemingly unconscious body. Before he really had the chance to survey the situation he was ambushed./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"A pack of hunters emerged from the treeline and grabbed him. Stiles of course couldn't keep his mouth shut. "Oh hello boys, fancy meeting you here. If you wanted a date you could have asked." His snark was met with a fist to his stomach. "Jesus… what the hell." A very large man walked up to Stiles, getting in his face. "Where is she." emShe? Who? What?/em Right now was not the time for Stiles' ADHD to flare. He started rambling trying to deflect, trying to figure out who the hell they were talking about without actually asking. "We know you have been dating her, where is she? Where is the Coyote?" Realization struck Stiles, they must be looking for Malia to get to the desert wolf. It wasn't necessarily a secret that she had been looking for her. "I don't know." The first time he hadn't lied to save his ass, or his friends. A fist landed on his cheekbone sending stars through his eyes./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"Stiles kept with the "I don't knows" until he was sure that they were going to break his bones if he didn't give them something other than those three words. He felt the blood drip from his nose to his lip, he was sure the next punch would break at least his nose. "Okay, Okay!" He yelled desperate to get them to hesitate for a moment. His breathes sharp and shallow. "She left. The last time I saw her was two weeks ago. She came over, stayed with me, then she broke up with me and said she was leaving with Peter Hale. I don't know where, but dear god she left. Stop using me as your boney punching bag!" Stiles braced for another impact from his smart ass comment, but once again he was surprised when it didn't happen. "Figures." The large man grunted. "Always a step ahead. Let him go." He turned and walked away./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"Stiles was released from the grips of the two other men, and when he got his bearings they were gone. He got into his Jeep and started to drive home. He needed to shower, not only because he was sweaty from practice, but now he was sure his shirt was soaked with blood. emWhy is it always me that they find and prod for information?/em Stiles was angry now, just simply tired of being the punching bag of information. He huffed as he walked through the house, directly up the stairs to get into the shower./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"-/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"Fresh out of the shower Stiles wandered into the kitchen. He was hoping to find the whiskey his dad kept to dull the ache of his face. Just as his eyes fell onto the bottle, he heard a knock on the door. emWho the hell?/em When Stiles pulled the door open he found Lydia standing on the porch. emShit./em He had still been trying to "give her space" but he wasn't sure how to handle this. "Hey." He tried to sound excited. "What are you doing here?" He watched Lydia as she shifted her weight to her other foot. "I wanted to talk to you." emOh god, she knows I have been avoiding her. /emStiles tried to quell his thoughts as he invited her in and they walked up to his room./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"As she stood in his room, Lydia's eyes fell onto Stiles' face. It was like deja vu and Stiles could feel it. "What happened?" Stiles sighed with a bit of a laugh. "Well I was ambushed by a pack of hunters, they were looking for Malia. I told them she left after they made a pretty good attempt to rearrange my face." He looked over at Lydia, she took a step further into his room. "Well, you are a good guy for trying to protect her." Her voice was sweet, and it almost made Stiles sick. He was silent for a moment before he couldn't hold it in anymore. "How the hell am I a good guy Lydia?!" emStop while you can still pull yourself out of this hole Stilinski./em He shook his head. "I didn't get this for being a good guy and you know it." His voice had a little more venom than he intended. Lydia stepped back, crushing her lip between her teeth. emOh for shit sake/em. Realizing what he had done once again, he tried to backtrace. He couldn't get a word out before Lydia was gone. Down the stairs and in her car./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"Stiles slams his fist into his crimeboard, adding bruised knuckles to the list of injuries. "Good going you idiot!" He yelled at himself. The teen plopped down on his bed, biting at his nails. His leg bouncing anxiously. It was deja vu all over again and in more ways than he wanted to think about. The one instance that was plaguing him was that when he and Malia ended he didn't have anything to say, he wasn't hurt that he made her want to leave. But this time it wasn't Malia, it was Lydia and this hurt. It was about 20 minutes before Stiles jumped off of his bed, changed and climbed into his Jeep. It didn't take long for him to find himself parked in front of Lydia's house./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"It appeared that she was the only one home. Stiles found himself wondering how much she was actually left alone. A pang of guilt struck him when he thought about her being alone when supernatural hell broke loose. He climbed up to Lydia's window, as he had done before, and he knocked gently. She looked startled as she walked over to the window. When she noticed who it was she sighed heavily. He couldn't hear it, but he could see it. She unlocked the window and turned away as Stiles climbed through the frame. Sudden awkwardness flooded through him, he stopped just inside the window, shoving his hands in his pockets. Simultaneously looking down and chewing the inside of his cheek. "What do you want?" Her voice broke the silence./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"Her tone hurt him a little, but he knew that he had to say his peace before she kicked him out. "I'm sorry." His voice was a little weaker than he intended, but he didn't really mind either. "I've been on edge since Malia left…" his rambling stopped when she scoffed. Lydia was jealous of Malia, but she swallowed that feeling before she turned to look at Stiles for the first time since he came in. "That timeframe doesn't fit." Her matter of fact tone was almost chastizing to Stiles which she hadn't intended. "I mean, you have been avoiding me. You are on edge every time I am in the same vicinity as you. It isn't just Malia." She crossed her arms as if to solidify the point./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;""Giving you space." Stiles mumbles. "Avoiding." Lydia retorts. Stiles sighs hard, knowing that he couldn't lie to her. She knew exactly what it was. "Okay. Avoiding." A smirk pulled at his lips. He missed the banter between them, and he missed how Lydia would beam when she was right. It made his heartache. That opened the door for conversation. The two talked for a bit, but Stiles could tell there was something that Lydia wanted to say, but was keeping quiet. He didn't push. "Well, I better go." He stood from his seat on her bed and walked toward the front door. There was some tension as Lydia said goodnight to Stiles. She didn't want him to leave, but she couldn't bring herself to make him stay./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"-/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"It took a little time, but Stiles' bruised face healed, and his knuckles cleared up. But that seemed to be the only thing that was gone well for him. He hadn't had a solid night's sleep since Malia left. He still had nightmares, and he hated waking up alone but he rarely woke screaming. It was usually a silent scream, accompanied by a cold sweat. His eyes looked a little bruised, and when he looked in the mirror he looked exactly like he did when the Nogitsune spit him out on the floor./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"The Sheriff was going to be working a double, like he did all the time these days. Scott was working the clinic all day so Stiles felt like staying home. This summer was nothing like he had planned it to be, so it didn't surprise him when there was a knock on his bedroom door and he noticed it was just shy of 8pm. "Yeah?" He turned finding his dad poking his head through the door jam. "You have a visitor. I'm on my way to work. Double, you know. Love you." Then he was gone before Stiles could protest that he didn't want a visitor, he was enjoying reddit too much. Assuming it was Scott, Stiles stood, sighing with annoyance but when he turned he found Lydia standing in his doorway. emDamnit Stilinski, . .Up./em "W-What are you doing here?" His voice confused./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;""I wanted to talk to you." He could hear the nervousness in her voice. emWhat in the hell could make her so nervous about talking to me? Isn't this supposed to be the other way around? /emThoughts swirled in his head. "Have… Have you been sleeping lately?" Here eyes squint a little. emShit./em His stomach drops a little. "No, not really." He fidgets anxiously standing in front of his computer chair. "Whats going on?" She takes a timid step into the bedroom closer to Stiles. He didn't know how to answer. How was he going to say that he constantly dreams of everything he did, everything he didn't want to do, and that Malia leaving made it worse?/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;""Well." He sat down on the side of his bed, Lydia took that as her cue to sit next to him. "I guess it is like PTSD in a way. I still picture everything I did, everything he did. One of the worst is when he stabbed Scott. But I can't tell him that every time I look at him I feel what I did." He had said too much, but it just rolled off his tongue. Why was it so easy to talk to Lydia. "That is because it is PTSD Stiles. You need to talk about it, it will make you feel better." He tensed beside her. How could he just openly talk about it? emNope. Not happening!/em "Obviously when you are ready." As if she read his mind. "Scott has Kira, and we have to have each other." She looked into his whiskey colored eyes. "You can always talk to me." She patted his shoulder./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"emAnd tell you what? That I am more messed up than I lead on? /emStiles let his lips curl up a bit, telling Lydia that he appreciated it without actually saying it. She smiled back. How was it so easy for them to have these conversations, or conversations without speaking at all? It suddenly hit Stiles that he may have lead on too much wondering if she knew more than she let on. If she did, she didn't say anything. They talked for a little longer, mainly about Scott and Kira, then a little about how Isaac was in Spain. It felt natural again, like it had before the Nogitsune struck. It was getting late, and Lydia tried to stifle a yawn. "You should get some sleep." Stiles mumbled a little to her. Fighting the urge to sleep himself. "Yeah I should go." With a smile on his face he walked her to her car. Before Lydia got in, she spun and pulled Stiles into a hug. He froze momentarily. Wondering if this was really happening, but before he could question it he wrapped his arms around her in return. Falling into it as if this was something they did regularly. He remembered how she held onto him when they tried to battle the Nogitsune. Stiles shivered a bit. It ended all too soon, and she drove away./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"-/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"He fell into sleep quickly, but his dream came with it, quickly. This time it was sweetly familiar./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"emHe can feel her strawberry blonde strands twisted in his fingers. His arms wrapped around her like she is going to float away. Their lips are moving, she tastes like raspberries. "Stiles…" His breath hitches, "What Lydia?" Then everything changes. They are in a cold damp hallway. "No, nonononono" his words stream together. Lydia jerks away from him, pain and terror in her eyes. "No… Lydia." He is saying the words, but they are not the words coming out of his mouth. "You know he is dying right?" The pitch of his voice is different. /emOh god… It's not "No." Lydia's words pierce him. "He is dying and he wants you more than ever." Lydia turns and tries to run through the hall. He follows behind her. Taunting her. "You know… whatever you do with me, he will still feel it, even though we are separated." He feels his tongue wet his lips. "Lydia don't listen!" He tries to yell, but nothing actually comes out. He can feel the fear radiating from Lydia./em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"emThen she is pressed against the barred gate. His body is pressed against her. He hears her breath catch like it has in his dreams. "DON'T" He tries to scream again. He knows what is going to happen. Suddenly he feels what the 'not him' feels. He wants to throw up, but he feels the arousal and he just wants to be sick. He would never do this to Lydia, she had to know that. Not like this. He feels his hand grab at her, ripping at her dress. A sob breaks the momentary silence. He is fighting with every part of him to make it stop. This isn't him, she has to know that. He is feeling her terror, and it is morphing with his own. He has to wake up, he has to make this stop. "Please don't Stiles." Her words send a shock to his heart. She thinks it is him./em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"Stiles wakes screaming. Gasping for air. When he finally orients himself he feels sick, his body still responding to how the Nogitsune felt in his dream. Running to the bathroom he emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet. "Get ahold of yourself Stilinski! That never happened!" emDid it?/em Suddenly he felt even more disgusted in himself than before. He kept telling himself that never happened, that was not how it happened. But did he really know? He was separated, focused on saving Lydia that night. He then realized all the small things. Lydia's timid steps into his room, she was jumpy around him. emOh god./em He stumbled back into his room, still feeling like he would be sick. He reached for his phone./p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"He texted Lydia, while he laid on his bed trying to calm himself. He needed her to tell him he was okay. The phone rested on his chest while he stared at the ceiling. *emding ding/em* /p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt;"*emAre you okay? - L* /emThe text read. He took a deep / *emI didn't wake you up did I? - S/em* br / *emNo, I was reading. Now. Answer my question! - L* /emLydia, all /br /Without giving every detail, he told Lydia about having a nightmare, it was the most terrifying one yet. He was seeing through the eyes of the Nogitsune and he couldn't make it stop. Lydia never asked him for details or asked him what "it" was that he wanted to stop, or who was involved. She told him that he was okay, and that they would get through this. He relaxed a little seeing those words, but it didn't make him feel any better about what he was sure actually happened. When Stiles realized that it is 3 AM he insists on Lydia going to sleep, and she doesn't argue./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p