Chapter 12

She could have killed her, just rammed her bare hands into her face and pound. Mercedes could feel the adrenaline fueled anger coursing through her veins, her whole body was shaking in rage. She ran straight at Rachel, tackling her to the floor, catching the smaller girl unaware. Mercedes used that to her advantage as she straddled her and yanked fistfuls of her hair, nearly ripping it from her scalp. Rachel's face briefly contorted in pain with each tug, but she quickly recovered, grinning once again like the Cheshire cat. That incensed Mercedes even more, how dare she smile after what she'd said?

Having to live with the scars of her childhood was something Mercedes had to deal with every day. It would be so easy to succumb to the darkness and let the pain win, allowing what her mother and his friends did to her body destroy her spirit. Mercedes refused to give Keisha Jones that power. She'd escaped him and started a new life, pushing painful memories aside, and learning to build her cracked self-esteem.

As a child she stole joy where she could, sneaking in bits of happiness in the times when her mother's wallet was overflowing with cash. They were almost a normal family on those days, when Mercedes reverted to being just a daughter, and not a commodity that her mother could barter. Some birthdays, most Christmases and a week here or there in spring she got to be a regular girl. She could breathe deeply and not fear the eager, persistent hands of all the men that wanted to consume her. She had hated to be touched thanks to her mother, flinching away from contact that she did not initiate. With touches came pain.

After her mother had given her the freedom to find her own ways to bring in some money. Mercedes learned the brutal reality that life left little options for a girl with her specific skills, and once again she was forced to use her youth and sexuality to earn money. She tried to choose her marks carefully. The harmless looking ones, the dorks and the shy, or the very old, anyone that she knew she would be able to avoid sex with. There were times when the money potential was too good, the take too great to resist, and it was then when she dug deep and used what her mother had taught her to close the deal. Sex was always the last resort in her negotiations. Then she met Sam and everything changed.

Mercedes had managed to separate her experiences in the past from her present ones. It didn't count unless she chose it, she had told herself. Sam had been the one she chose and touches were no longer associated with pain, but with a few nasty remarks from Rachel it all had come flooding back. She wanted to pummel the girl for making her feel so dirty in a matter of minutes.

"Don't you ever open your mouth about me or my life again. You hear me?"

Mercedes reared back her fist, aiming for Rachel's far too pretty face, but the girl moved, suddenly turning her head to the side and Mercedes' hand hit the hard tile floor, sending tremors of pain up her arm.

"You better get your girl Finn before she hurts herself." Pop was the sound as Mercedes' fist finally connected with Rachel's face, not as hard as she would have liked, she was feeling weak and out of breath, but seeing a red bruise form near Rachel's lip was good enough.

"Keep talking bitch and I'll give you a black eye." Mercedes squeezed her thighs tighter around Rachel's thin torso, hoping to cut off some of her air supply and shut her up.

Do you really think you're scaring me right now?" asked Rachel. "I could kick your ass without breaking a sweat, but I'm trying to show restraint."

"Come on and try it," she said as she flailed, arms and legs in the air as Finn lifted her from Rachel's body.

"Settle down Mercedes," Finn said next to her ear. He held her suspended, bare feet dangling inches off the ground.

"Don't tell me to settle down. She's had this coming a long time. I'm going to beat her prissy little face in."

"Nice manners. Is that any way to speak to a guest?" asked Rachel, standing up.

"You're not a guest. No one wants you here." Mercedes fought against Finn trying to free herself, but it was no use. He was too strong.

"I know Sam would love to see me. I can't wait to fill him in on all the little things he's forgotten, because I know he'll never get the real story from you."

"I've told Sam everything. We have no secrets."

"Oh really? So you know his every thought, his every feeling, his every move and he knows yours?"

"Yep," she replied emphasizing the 'P' at the end of the word.

"I'm impressed. I'd think you'd want to present yourself in a better light this time. Make him believe he married a worthwhile human being instead of someone shallow and trashy. You got guts girl, letting him see the real you."

She hadn't told him everything. Rachel was right she didn't want him to know about her life in LA, about all the ways she tried to manipulate him to win his heart even jeopardizing his business to do it, or about her mother, especially not about her mother. Sam had been the one person on the planet that knew the most about what she had survived as a child, some things she had told him, and other things he had discovered. He was kind enough never to pity her or treat her like a broken doll. In Sam's eyes she was regular person not some damaged and used shell. He had accepted her completely, and she loved him even more for it. But now with his memories gone, and his heart pointed toward another woman, Mercedes wasn't so sure that he would grant her the same acceptance.

"Sam has always loved everything about me."

Finn slid Mercedes down his body, letting her finally touch the floor, her back still tight against his chest as he kept a firm grip around her waist.

"Well sure, but that was before he had other options."

Mercedes didn't respond, she didn't need Rachel to clarify her thinly veiled insult. She knew exactly the other option she was referring to. Quinn was beautiful, talented, tied to his past, his closest friend, and the mother of his baby. Mercedes was none of that, in fact she was so much less. She was his nurse turned wife foisted on him by an evil twist of fate. At least that is what she suspected he felt. He had been trying to convince her otherwise, trying to make her believe he wanted to be in their marriage, which was a complete impossibility when he had Quinn waiting in the wings. Although, today in their bedroom, Mercedes had started to feel convinced that Sam wanted something more.

"Hey ladies…can't we all just get along?" pleaded Finn, adjusting his grip on her. He was getting out of breath as he struggled to keep her trapped in his arms.

Mercedes tugged at Finn's forearms trying to get him to release her. "Let me go Finn."

"Yes Finn, let her go," said Rachel smoothing her low cut blue dress.

"As much as I'd love to see you two wrestle it out on the floor." Finn paused, a smile spreading on his face, while he looked from one girl to the other, as if he were taking a mental picture of them wrestling in mud or Jell-O. "I don't think it would be a good idea," he continued getting serious again. "What if Sam came down here and saw this?"

"Let him see," Mercedes said with forced bravado. In actuality, she didn't want Sam anywhere near this situation. He had a mixed up opinion of her as it was, she didn't need to compound it by him witnessing her fighting in the middle of the foyer. "I want him to know how his pathetic excuse for an ex is disrespecting me."

Rachel picked up her cell phone from the floor. "As if he cares. You're not Quinn. She's the only damsel in distress he'll protect, but I don't have to tell you that since you know everything about Sam."

"Quinn has nothing to do with this."

Mercedes could see Rachel's ploy. She was trying to unnerve her to throw her off her game. Rachel must have figured that the mere mention of Quinn was like kryptonite to Mercedes, immediately rendering her a useless, emotional mess. Mercedes had news for Rachel; she didn't give a crap about Quinn. As long as she was tightly locked away upstate, far removed from Beth, Quinn was no threat at all.

Sam could fixate on his fantasy girl, pay her frequent visits where they exchanged furtive glances under the watchful eye of a man in a white coat, but Mercedes knew that ultimately Sam would realize that she was the only real woman in his life. She was the one he could hold on to. That was what Puck, Kurt and even Finn were trying to get her to see, she realized it now. She couldn't walk away from Sam because he was headed back to her. He just needed time to adjust.

His visit to the house today was further proof. He'd come inside, examined the evidence of their life together, and he wanted to stay. He had asked her if he could move back in. Why hadn't she seen the hugeness of that request before? Sam was coming back to her.

"Quinn has everything to do with this. In fact, I can predict with quite a bit of certainty that soon Quinn will be here as the woman entitled to be with Sam and you'll be out on your ass."

Mercedes swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. "Sam is not leaving me." He promised he wouldn't.

Rachel was dead wrong. Sam kept all his promises. He'd come back to her like he said he would at the accident, battling back from the impossible, a prolonged coma. So things hadn't turned out exactly perfectly, he did forget her, but even through that his essence remained the same because in the blue shadows of the night, holding her in his hospital bed, thinking she was just some nurse, he promised her again and she had to believe he would keep this one as well. She just had to give him time.

"You sound kind of shaky there Cede. Are you sure about that?"

She was so weary of this conversation. She just wanted Rachel and her fake syrupy sweet voice, out of her face. "You have two seconds to get out of this house or I'll scream and the guards will be on you so fast."

"Calling in the big guns, how Evans of you. Enjoy that power while you can girlfriend," she giggled. "It's going to be gone so quick."

"Get the hell out of here. Finn let me go."

"No way," said Finn spreading his legs wider as Mercedes kicked and squirmed in his arms.

"I'm going. You can unleash her now. Oh but before I go, one more thing."

"Daley!" Mercedes yelled at the top of her lungs.

"He's at the gate, he won't hear you, besides I bet he's preoccupied, just like the rest of us."

"Preoccupied with what?" asked Finn.

"Oh just this late breaking news," said Rachel with a smug grin.

She held her phone up so they could see the screen. The photo was a bit grainy and the light wasn't the best but the image was unmistakable. Sam and Quinn standing together in an embrace. Mercedes felt like she had been slapped, her knees started to buckle as she instinctively leaned into Finn for support.

"You damn liar! How dare you Photoshop that?" Mercedes silently prayed that Rachel would confess or betray a crack, or anything to prove the photo was a le. It couldn't be real. Sam couldn't have been with Quinn. She was locked up.

"It's official," Rachel explained, almost giddy. Her eyes sparkling as Mercedes' stomach churned. "Some worker sent this in from his camera phone."

"When was this taken?" asked Finn moving closer to examine the picture. Mercedes turned her head, unable to look at the photo again, especially at such close proximity.

Sam had just held her like that earlier today. His body pressed against hers as he talked to her about exploring their relationship. At first, it had felt like a game, some sort of con, until he had pulled her into his lap and trailed kisses along her shoulders as he practically thanked her for loving him. Had all of that been a lie? Could he have faked that emotion? Mercedes could feel the bile rising in her throat. She was so close to losing it. Clinging to the front of Finn's shirt, she held her breath, to quiet her raging stomach.

"Last night your loving committed husband was at a hotel with Quinn Fabray. Don't they look cute together? I love how close he's holding her. I bet you don't get this close to Sue, do you Finn?"

Last night, when he had called her and said he was at a hotel, and had asked her about Beth was Quinn there lurking? Or had he just finished with Quinn and was trying to cover his tracks by placing a calling to his stupid, gullible wife. Oh my God. It was true. Mercedes swayed on her feet.

"Oh definitely not, he looks like he's about to…Oh uh…they look like friends, just friends. Cede, are you all right?" asked Finn close to her ear.

She nodded her head but she was anything but fine. She was going to vomit, something had already come up, the sharp putrid liquid pooled in her mouth and she had no choice but to swallow it, forcing it back down, hiding any signs of her weakness. She'd never let Rachel have the satisfaction of seeing her break.

"I'm fine you can let go of me now. I'm not going to bother her." Mercedes said quietly.

Finn let her go and took a step back. Tears stung in her eyes as she stared at Rachel's mocking smile. That witch was loving this.

"You lying bitch." Mercedes snatched the phone from Rachel's hand, tossing it aside. It landed with a plasticy thud at Finn's feet. "I'm going to prove to you it is a fake."

Mercedes had a hard time believing that. Sam had been wearing the clothes she had just picked up from the cleaners for him the day before in the picture. She was such an idiot. All this time she had been bending over backwards trying to get Sam to want to get to know her and he hadn't cared at all. He had only wanted Quinn. Not that it should have been a shock. He had been telling her exactly that since almost the moment he woke up. Mercedes had just been too stupid, falling for his lines like she always did, to realize that her husband was making plans to replace her.

"Love to see you try. Maybe we should just open the door and talk to the media." Rachel walked to the door, arms gesturing like a spokesmodel. "I'm sure they'd like to clarify all the details, get an exclusive from the soon to be ex." She stopped, hands on her hips, grinning. She was clearly getting so much joy from Mercedes' misery.

"You're right Rachel. I think we should talk to the media. Let's do that right now," she said grabbing her by the back of her hair. Mercedes had no idea where she had found the strength to hold her, she felt like she might pass out any moment.

"Ouch! Let go of me!" yelled Rachel scraping her nails down Mercedes's arm, breaking the skin.

Mercedes caught Rachel's arm and wrenched it behind her back, greatly limiting her movements. Mercedes opened the front door, a rush of cold air hitting her in the face, goose bumps immediately rising on her skin. The reporters lined up outside the door, grew suddenly quiet, leaning against the red ropes that contained them.

"Mercedes you need to think about what you're doing. Remember you're Mrs. Evans. All eyes are on you," Finn reminded her over her shoulder.

He was right. She couldn't cause a scene in front of all these reporters. The last thing they needed was to create more fodder for the gossip mags.

Mercedes dropped her hand from Rachel's hair and let go of her arm.

"Fine. Get the hell out of here," she said pushing Rachel out the door.

Angered Rachel, spun around to face Mercedes, her pink claws bared. As the girl approached ready to fight, Mercedes grabbed the front of Rachel's dress, pulling the thin blue fabric away from her skin, straining its seams. Rachel resisted, trying to get Mercedes to release her hold. Mercedes held firm twisting the fabric in her fist, ripping the neckline of the dress. With one swift motion she shoved Rachel back, so hard she stumbled from the concrete porch down to the carpeted entryway below. Leaving Rachel to gawk at the crowd of reporters.

Cameras flashed as Mercedes smiled. Apparently there was more breaking news in Lima tonight. This just in - Rachel Berry spotted being thrown out of the Evans mansion with her left breast exposed.

-

The click of the lock, sounded almost like peace as she rested her back against the cool wooden door. Rachel could stay out there and freeze for all she cared, at least she wouldn't have to see her miserable face anymore. Stinging flesh on her arm quickly brought Mercedes back to her current reality. She stared at the blood red streaks, puffy and inflamed. Rachel had left her mark on her body, as well as on her mind tonight. Sharing the photo of Sam and Quinn had brought Rachel so much pleasure, as she got a thrill out of inflicting pain. Mercedes still tried to cling to some small hope that the photo wasn't real, that Rachel had fabricated it in some way, but that idea was fleeting fast. Sam had spent last night with another woman, his other woman actually.

"What is going on here?" asked Kurt running toward her, his brown waves flopping. "I could hear you yelling all the way down the hall."

Mercedes shrugged as she moved past Kurt to look for her shoes. "I was just taking out the trash."

"She gave your roommate Rachel the boot," said Finn from his place on the stairs.

Mercedes had almost forgotten Finn was still there, he had gone quiet once Mercedes opened the front door. He probably was trying to avoid the spotlight, and not end up part of the inevitable trashy headline that would come from this night. The party hadn't even started yet and already Mercedes knew it was going to be a disaster. Her instincts had been dead on. Rachel and her rude comments and awful pictures were just the start of it all.

"Cede, I invited her," said Kurt in almost a scolding tone.

Kurt hated that she didn't get along with his roommate Rachel, but he didn't understand the long history of mistrust and deceptions that were between them. If he had been around the past few years, he would never have expected her to play nice with Rachel Berry.

"You had no right to do that. You know I hate her and I don't want her in this house."

"She was being a major b Kurt," Finn chimed in. He was still stretched out on the stairs, probably trying to recover from his impromptu stint as referee. "I was sorta shocked. Rach is always so nice when I'm hanging out at your place."

"I hope you learned something Finn. Never trust a fake boobs and a smile." Rachel may have had the assets to trick all the men in Lima to believe she was a good person, but Mercedes could see through her. From the first time she met her at D&E, Mercedes had known that Rachel was more than she appeared.

"Ok you're being ridiculous," said Kurt with a frown. "I thought you two had moved past all this crap. I'm going to find Rachel."

"You do what you need to do," said Mercedes, retrieving one shoe from the floor. "I'm going to see Sam."

Finn jumped up. "Kurt, don't let her do that man. She's out for blood."

"What'd I miss?" asked Kurt.

"Sam and Quinn at a hotel last night. Take a look at this." Finn showed Kurt the picture on Rachel's discarded cell phone.

Kurt's blue eyes widened. He looked like he had seen a crime scene photo instead of two people hugging. "There's pictures?"

Mercedes couldn't help herself and glanced at the photo again. Even in white sweats Quinn looked flawless. How did she manage to always look that good? Mercedes looked down at her rumbled dress and bare feet, she was a mess. She could only imagine how awful her hair must be right now.

"Obviously fake," said Finn. "It's not like they let mental patients take a holiday. Right bro?"

Mercedes looked at Kurt, waiting to hear his response. He always had some positive to spin to put on things, but nothing came, he just ran his hands through his hair, looking really uneasy. Even Kurt knew the truth, Sam was with Quinn last night. The photo was very real. Mercedes gripped the shoe in her hands as she imagined what could have happened between Sam and Quinn while they were all alone in a hotel room. Sam probably was in heaven, making up for all the lost time with Quinn.

"Mercedes let's talk about this," said Kurt snatching the shoe from her.

"Give me back my shoe." Mercedes reached for it, but Kurt backed away, keeping the shoe close to his chest.

"The way you were holding it was scaring me. Like you wanted to bash Sam's head in with the heel."

"That's not the head I'm after." Luckily she had another shoe at her disposal. She just had to find it. "I think Sam deserves a heel to the crotch after this."

"Ouch," hissed Kurt and Finn in unison.

"Okay dial it back girl." He tossed the shoe over Mercedes' head to Finn who easily caught it. "You don't want to hurt the man. You love him remember?" Kurt grabbed both of Mercedes' arms forcing her to stop and focus on him.

"Kurt get out of my way," she said trying to push past him.

Kurt held his ground. "I will not let you ruin that work of art."

"I just told you Sam's face will be fine," said Mercedes, exhaling sharply. "I intend on aiming lower."

"I was talking about the shoe. Blood stains on Louboutin peep toes would be a crime."

"You keep the shoes," she said finally pushing Kurt away. "I'm just going to talk to him and ask him why he insists on hurting and humiliating me, why he went off on me about being out with Finn last night when he was shacked up with that tramp, and ask him why he tried to get me in bed today when he was just with Quinn!" Angry tears burned in her eyes. How could Sam have done this to her? He'd made a mockery of their marriage for the whole world to see. "Give me that shoe back." Mercedes tried to grab it from Finn's hands. "I need to hit him."

"The party's about to start, can't this wait?" asked Finn holding the shoe above his head. No way was she getting it from him. He was almost seven feet tall.

"I don't care about his party."

"You don't mean that. We worked so hard planning this thing." Kurt looked shocked. "I was just with the band. They are ready to start warming up. All the family is in the living room with balloons and the banner. There's cake."

"I don't care. Tell the band to start playing. Tell Stevie, Stacey and Maria to dig into the cake. Cut them each a big piece."

"But you'll ruin the surprise." Kurt pouted.

"How about this? You two explain to the family why Sam is going to be late and I'm going to go make my husband's birthday wishes come true."

She had enough, his birthday could wait. Sam had some explaining to do. She wanted him to admit to her face that he had done more than have a friendly visit with Quinn yesterday.

"Cede wait…" Kurt grabbed her arm.

"Don't follow me Kurtwood," said Mercedes pulling out of his grasp, quickening her pace toward the stairwell.

"She sure is hot when she's pissed," she heard Finn say as she dashed up the stairs.

When she got to the top landing, she stopped, catching her breath. She couldn't believe this was happening. Not even two full months out of his coma and he was cheating on her. Again. It was like some bizarre déjà vu. She had charged up these very stairs last year to clean out every trace of herself from the room they often shared at the house. She hadn't wanted Sam to have any piece of her, not a photo, not an article of clothing, she wanted to erase herself from his life.

After the accident, she'd put it all back, at home and at the mansion, resetting the pictures, putting back her jewelry, leaving one of her sweaters thrown across the chair in his room. Placing herself back into his life, so when he woke up he'd know that she was ready to start again, with him. What a fool she had been to think that life could just be randomly shuffled like a giant puzzle. Things happened for a reason, actions had consequences.

Cutting Sam out of her life, before the accident, when he was begging her to stay, was an action she had to live with. The last words Sam heard from her, her Sam that is, not the one that came back with lost memories and eyes for Quinn, but the Sam that loved her, the last thing she ever told him was that their marriage was over. He must have internalized that in some way, held her to it in the recess of his stalled and silent mind, because awakening nine months later he had promptly found ways to keep her to her word. He was ending their marriage and replacing her with someone else.