AN: Prequel. Those are hot right now, right? ...because everyone wants to know the boring stuff that lead to the thing that people liked, right? Tell me dammit or I kill the bunny. (imagine a semi-adorable somewhat still fuzzy creature of the 'cute' variety is on a giant X to which a deathray is pointed... and by deathray I mean bucket of homemade naplam)
Italics = nonverbal communication
italics with single quotation marks ' ' = thoughts ...(isn't that universal? it should be.)
It's perfectly normal to have incredibly vivid sweat-soaking sexual fantasies about people you don't like...right? Not hate-torture fantasies, but super sexy mind melting instant O-inducing ones. Sure you've made it pretty clear that you are totally still into your boyfriend, even if that sex train left the station before you even boarded because you met this girl who like total gets your motor white hot and achy. Despite her being a girl and your enemy supreme... but god she's just so... 'ugh, fuck this shit!' Jade wasn't exactly doing so well at the moment. Ever since she started having... desires for her frenemy she's been trying a variety of things to get her head around it, including posting anon questions at all kinds of sites, even unsavory pervy ones. She wasn't even sure why she was doing it really, something about getting the thoughts out there in the 'real' world vaguely came to mind from some crackpot tv show 'doctor' her step-mother likes to watch.
Regardless the pervy sites part led to her being visited on her laptop by an intrusive asshole with a hot pink pixie-hawk (pixie mo-hawk hybrid hairstyle... trademark pending).
Without warning a text box opens on the computer itself, Wow, someone sure is a big fan of interracial latin lesbians, huh? -Harley Boneraper, Esq. Followed by a series of Jade's bookmarked porn links and before she can even begin to consider what's going on another message appears, Yes, you have been hacked. Expertly I might add. By the best. Which really should go without say. Her response is to slam the laptop closed.
Moments later her phone rings, then answers itself, "Unless you want me popping up on your parents' phones with your porn links I'd leave this one on." Offered by a synthetic female voice.
"What do you want?" Jade barks, not quite grasping how someone on the receiving end of extortion is supposed to act.
"The power to control time would be nice, but you don't seem like a genie... So I'll settle for an answer to a question."
Jade's first thought is that this person is an idiot, and idiot who's going to make her life a fucking nightmare, but she decides not to voice that, instead going with, "Ask."
"Is the Vega girl in danger of being abducted for some sort of depraved sexual assault?"
She was a fair bit horrified by the implication of the question, "What kind of fucked up question is that?"
"I reasoned a fair one given the stalker-esk things you say and write. Pro tip: a connected webcam is not a deactivated webcam."
It stood to reason this person had been spying on her to some degree, but hearing that makes her mind race backward at every single thing she's ever said or written or looked up and it makes her skin crawl, her heart race, and a vermillion rage make her howl, "Fucking pervert!" Pure seething fury at such an invasion, as well as plenty of fear of what can be done with all that information, burns throughout her.
"Don't shout at me. I'm not the one that installed that software... Go berate Jeffery Deeks at 106 Mongoose road... Lansing, Michigan."
Perhaps it was her fury filled mind playing tricks on her but the synth voice almost sounded hurt as it informed her of her true enemy, not that this Harley was getting off either...'ewwww', grossed out by her own mind she bites,"I'll just hop on my priavte jet."
"Fine I'll give him a little surprise via the feds. And toss out a virus to clean up any trace of your files."
'Was that a sigh?... that didn't just sound, sincere? impossible,' she offers, "Good." Still weirded out by the strange desire to take this person at face value, probably a monster mistake there.
"Now do you mind actually answering my question about the object of your sexually frustrated fantasies?"
She had hoped this person would have gotten too distracted with the other person to remember that.
"No judgment. But the level of aggression and obsession is somewhat concerning."
"I'm not obsessed." Jade informs, though she knows it's a super obvious lie especially to someone who has the info this person has, 'It's not my fault, I can't stop the thougths, the dreams, the... lust.' And frankly it wasn't her fault, she was who she was and apparently that meant girls did it for her. Tough that she blames on Vega, because before she stumbled into her life ladies weren't on the menu. But now it seemed like they were all that could give her the warm and fuzzy feeling... in her pants. She remembers finding Beck so much more attractive before, and some guys are still hot, but... what was that number on the sexuality scale 5.5, maybe.
With no word from the hacker the silence is filling with more mental noise, so she breaks it, "It's a long story... and no she's not in danger from me."
"Okay, I actually believe you. Stay safe and have fun."
That was definitely not the response she was expecting, "Wait. That's it?"
"Unless you have something to add, yes."
"So, no copies of my stuff remain?" The goth has to reaffirm.
"Only yours."
"And you aren't going to tell anyone about this?" She finds it fairly hard to believe that this person would pop in just to make sure Vega wasn't about to be torture-raped by her or something. No one does that, no one cares that much about random people.
"Should I?"
"NO!" Screamed as if it was the only way to stop Harley from telling others.
"Then I suppose that's your answer. Unless you want me to help you find a latina and get laid."
"I don't need nor want your help." No way no how.
"Alrighty."
Honestly that went far better than she thought possible... then she started thinking about how this is probably not the last time she'll be dealing with Harley Boneraper... 'wait, no way, can't be. I mean Boneraper is... She's a fan too. No, still a hacker creep, with all my stuff on her computer, asshole.'
Three weeks, it only took three weeks before Jade found herself staring at the number she believed would get her in contact with the hacker that had entered her life as quickly as she had left it that one fateful day. Jade herself isn't completely sure why she's staring at the number or even what she'd do if she contacted it... but she does know why she would contact it. This person knows her deepest held secrets, the ones she was foolish enough to commit to anything electronic anyway, and she seemed to come across as not giving a shit as long as no one was being violated. No judgment. No anything, but possibly helpful.
So, help? -Jade Maggotbone, lover of interracial latin lesbians. She can't even believe she wrote that much less sent it. But something about admitting it even in this form to someone who already knew felt kinda nice. Weird, but nice.
Knowing full well that the hac... Harley could very well be busy did not stop the anxiety Jade was feeling at getting to 'talk' to her again. But before she could indulge in a conversation with her a little message appeared saying something needed to be downloaded to continue... she understandably hesitated. It could be a trap, some kind of mega virus, or... it downloaded itself. At that Jade laughed and felt more at ease as so far that seemed to be Harley's style when it came to her phone anyway.
Find a hooker.
Fuck you. She understandably was a bit weirded out the message she sent changed to a more proper 'Fuck you' as opposed to her shorthand of it... that was until a message appeared, autocorrection feature XB87L7 active. Jade felt that maybe the 'you installed a freaky autocorrect on my phone' berating, very angry berating, could wait until after she got some advice/help.
I see, so you do want to end the world then? Red wedding?
She's tempted to pursue a conversation down that path most likely filled with wicked and macabe humor, but not today. Do you have any actually helpful advice?
Have you ever even been with a female?
Okay the use of 'female' instead of girl is a little odd, but that hardly deters Jade. No.
Ever flirted? (with any females).
Somewhat. It wouldn't have been terribly hard to lie, but right now she needed the kind of help that required her to be honest, not her favorite thing to be, but desperate times.
Successfully?
Not so much. Though it wasn't so much a lack of ability or skill on Jade's part, she could be scary levels sexy if she wanted to be, but...
Straight?
Yeah. Her gaydar was about as useful as a rectal thermometer in a game of battleship.
Is Vega?
Fair question. Yep.
Want to make sure?
Now that was a slightly odd question, but still fair. Not really. She had no intentions to even consider putting the moves on Vega for so many reasons, chiefly though was epic embarrassment.
You sure? There's rumor of an experimental drug that can root out subconscious sexual desires.
That sounds like the greatest thing ever created. Where can I get as much as possible? Jade found the idea absurd and delightfully amusing, if only it were real... if only.
Chaos does sound like fun, but it's been a pain in the ass to just track down a possible location of one vile. And the asking price is steep.
Maybe Jade was crazy, slipped into madness without any warning at all, but Harley sounded serious, as in genuinely serious about this chiz being real and functional and that made her consider... things. How steep?
Steep.
Millions?
No, not that kind of price. This is the Black Market's creepy little brother, where money is worthless and the only currency that matters is entertainment value.
Well that certainly sounded interesting, an entire economy based on entertainment. What do they want?
Blood, pain, sex. The usual really.
How about some horror stories? It's not like she had a ton of snuff films lying around or anything, so she offered what she did have.
Depends.
Jade could almost feel the inquisitive look on this girl's face from possibly half way around the world. Really tormented terrifying shit that would give the devil nightmares.
Maybe. Send me one. One of the tamer ones. I'll test the waters.
After some searching she found one that seemed to fit the traditional definition of 'tame' and proceeded to send it to the provided location. Then it dawned on her that Harley could've just taken what she wanted with no problem, but didn't. That made her smile, then kinda wretch a little, she either needed more friends so this wouldn't be weird or far fewer so she'd never have to deal with it... ever.
Days turned to a week before Jade finally casually inquired, So?
Just shy of two weeks later she sends another message, Hey, are you dead?
There is no direct answer but she is instead redirected to a subnet site, password provided, filled with vague records of various hacks, 'evil' lives ruined, and access to some kind of auctions, Jade wasn't entirely sure but at least they didn't seem to be for people, guns, or narcotics... so she wasn't overly concerned about it. Numerous other things were also at her finger tips including a series of new identities ripe for the abusing, briefly she considered borrowing one, since it seemed she had some kind of administrator type access to everything before her, but decided that maybe this once she'd show a little self-control. Taking a figurative step back she began wondering why in the hell she was seeing this stuff, and given the kind of power over it she seemed to have, 'what is she actually dead, and this is in her cyber-will being bequeathed to me...' ...to which she sent another message. Seriously, did they kill you?
This time she was actually a little worried that maybe this little quest had killed the hacker, as in she was messaging a ghost... which lets be honesty she kinda liked the idea of, especially if said ghost messaged back affirming it and they proceeded to make use of this new development to torment people, who probably at Harley's insistence would deserve it. But there was a part of her that didn't want this individual dead, this hacker with a flare for the darker side of humor.
Then her fears were dashed, In reverse order. No. No. Paydirt.
With a sigh of relief she sends, So?
Yes, the guy liked the story. A bit too much actually. Had to disappear him.
Disappear him? What are you in the mob? She smirks at the ridiculousness of it.
He's been shipped somewhere...dank and deep. Because he wanted to meet you... and given his unique decor I seriously doubt you would have gotten to keep your face. Yes.
Thanks? To be fair it was a foreign word that Jade rarely ever even considered using let alone actually using, but perhaps the fact that a person who had actually wanted to torture/murder/rape/stuff her was currently imprisoned... or dead(?) had her a little bit distracted. This of course hinged on if she could trust that Harley wasn't just messing with her, which so far didn't seem to be her style, unless she played the long game really well. In fact she was getting the feeling that maybe she should just accept the hacker as either usually serious when 'working' or a complete psycho... either she could work with to her benefit, however knowing would have been nice.
Not important. What is is that I have the vile. Unfortunately it's tainted. But I now know where to get more.
What will it cost?
Can of Peak Mountain blue tuna, six roles of duct tape... pink, and a stuffed Franky the Walrus plushy from the 1972 cartoon, Mr. Tusky.
Okay so that was a strange list of things, and she was curious about what they'd be used for in terms of entertainment, but at the moment, Vbay?
Not likely. Franky is giga-rare, due to the recall... lots of fires. And deaths.
Now she absolutely had to know about what this stuff was for, and where to get her own Franky ...for reasons. Before she can even begin to type a link appears with the words, Open Later. To that Jade smiled, very much enjoying getting something without having to ask for or rather demand it.
Give me some more stories. I'll go Bartertown on this chiz.
How many stories?
Not sure, probably not going to be cheap. And I got lucky with that last one, he was sloppy with his ropes. Next ones will all need to be paid in horror.
She notes the fact that Harley had most likely been in a position where she could have actually been killed looking for this stuff, Alright, but if this doesn't work you owe me a limb. Going with gallows humor instead of worry... because, duh, Jade. Adding, One of yours.
Lefty.
Deal. Jade then collected her best stuff; the creative, clever, and cruel collection. The kinds of stories that would definitely make for mind crippling vomit inducing performances if she were to find a cast crazy enough to perform them. But alas they were needed for a better purpose, finding out if there was a chance Vega could swing the other way... of course there was still the very likely possibility that even if she did she still wouldn't want anything to do with her sexually let alone romant... 'wait, what? this is a sexual thing, not something else. Just sexual.'
Anyway, with the stories delivered Jade was treated to an explanation for the website and the access; leveling the field for Harley's own previous access to effectively everything that was Jade. Jade said there was one thing missing, porn links... to which Harley replied with celeb webcams... kidding. She actually just sent a rather robust list of links that... well Jade may have spent just a little too much time 'analyzing', no latin ladies loving non-latin ladies, but some really interesting stuff involving...
Several days later a very special semi-mysterious package arrived. Jade would now be able to find out the answers to her questions. However Harley did have one request, a review of the product on one of her sites, because apparently reviews are important in the underworld... who knew?
AN: Well that happened. lol
Yeah, so not sure what that was. Originally I was thinking more Jade pining for Tori, less making a hacker friend type deal. Sorry?
Anyway, I like Harley as a character... not that you know much about her other than what you can infer... But I do have this semi-detailed character with a half-decent backstory, with a strangeness all her own. This just didn't feel like the place to expand on her... I kinda want to write a little oneshot (yes an actual oneshot) with her introduction (in person anyway) to Jade and Tori, because they need her to help with something time sensitive and can't reach her at all. I think the basics of it was based on a hacked prompt by...uh, rolf? no no... oh, huh, ROLF-WOlf-Of-Thunder. I remembered the first bit, cool. But I have updates that will take priority, so not likely anytime soon. -shrug-
SOOOOOOO, I'm not dead, surprise!
-May Dread watch over you-