Chapter 15

Something familiar still existed in his eyes, such pretty green eyes, curved into half moon slits as he looked down at her. It would have been so easy for Mercedes to just lean into his hand that still stroked her cheek, give in to those feelings that always seemed to be there, let herself be fully claimed by the distinctive pull that only came when she was in the proximity of Sam Evans. She could just throw her arms around his neck, assault his mouth with kisses so deep they both would be left gasping for air. Just like she'd always done, all the times before. Each time she'd forgiven him and taken him back. Now could be just like those times, she could ignore the truth being blasted all over cyberspace, forget that he wanted another woman, make herself believe that given time he could fall in love with her all over again, all it would take was one kiss and all could be forgiven.

"Mercedes," he whispered, his eyes sliding closed, his face drifting closer to hers. He was going to kiss her, right here in the middle of the room, in front of Puck.

Sam truly had no shame, he was willing to do anything to guarantee her compliance. Memories of working for him at D&E filled her mind and how they abused their arsenal of sexual weaponry, playing a dangerous game of flirtation and corporate politics mixing business with personal. Any truth between them was so covered in lies that it was hard to separate the reality from the pretense in the end.

Now here he was standing in front of her lying the way he used to back when she first met him, when he liked to use her obvious feelings for him against her, twisting them to suit his agenda, while she had done the same to him. She had thought of it as foreplay back then, his way of showing that he was interested without giving away too much. She'd conned herself into believing that underneath all the deception and distrust, something real existed between them.

Maybe it actually had been real, it certainly felt that way to them once, when they were so consumed by each other that they couldn't even go a few hours without talking and they never could be in the same room and not touch. Perhaps it was simply newlywed bliss, but Mercedes had thought what they had would last them a lifetime, a connection like the one they shared was rare and special so that had to mean it would last. Didn't it?

She placed her hand in the center of his chest, stopping him mid descent. "Don't touch me," she said, taking a much needed step back. "Puck hand me your phone."

"What are you up to Cede?" asked Puck as he reluctantly gave his phone to Mercedes.

"It'll be fine. Relax." She scrolled through his phone searching for that one particular page.

"Mercedes what's really going on here?" asked Sam. "I've sensed this distance from you all night."

Wow he really was going to take this clueless act all the way.

"I know this must be hard for you to understand since I have been throwing myself at you pretty much since you woke up."

"You've just never pulled away from me before."

He looked hurt, though faking pain was something Sam excelled at. She could remember so many times in the past where he had used his supposed pain to get her to do what he wanted. She had been so stupid then, actually feeling happy that he had chosen to reveal so much of himself to her. Little had she known it was all an act, Sam knew she was hopeless when it came to him and he used that knowledge to his advantage. A fog was lifting, things were suddenly coming into focus, none of it was real. It couldn't have been, because Sam was so easily reverting to old behaviors, back to the way he used to treat her when they first met. That must have been the real Sam after all, and everything else that came after, when he claimed to care about her was nothing but lies.

"Sorry slutty nurse is gone for the day, she's been replaced by shrew wife and she's not that easy," she said, her voice hard and cold.

He shook his head, staring down at his feet. "I never thought you were easy. I just thought…" He trailed off not bothering to finish his sentence.

"You thought what?" she asked, hating that she was so interested in what he wanted to say.

"I just thought you liked being with me."

Mercedes could feel her hard shell already start to crack, her hopes beginning to build once again, as she latched on to the idea that he had actually noticed her. He'd paid attention to her actions. That had to mean something good.

"I did like being with you Sam," she admitted, sniffing back tears. "I liked it a lot, but that was before you started taking out all your anger on me, blaming me for everything you didn't like about your life, and before you started going on and on about the woman that destroyed our marriage." Mercedes shook with anger. It was all too much, listed before her, shameful and pathetic, all the ways she'd let him mistreat her. "And now you've added lies and humiliation to the mix. You're lucky I'm just pulling away, because what I really want to do is kick your ass."

"Cede what's going on? Why are you so upset?" asked Puck stepping behind her and placing his hands on her bare shoulders.

For a moment she had to fight the urge to turn and fall into Puck's arms, succumb to the tears, and just block Sam and all the pain he had caused out. But she couldn't. She had to own this moment, it was too long overdue.

"Sam knows why. Don't you Sam?"

"Uh no. You're acting like a crazy person. Maybe you should be the one locked up."

He was getting angry with her. Good. He got off balance when his emotions kicked in. Mercedes didn't want to be the only one in the room feeling unstable, he needed to feel this too, the disconcertion of being hit with the unknown. She wanted to watch him squirm as he struggled to figure out the cause of her distress.

"Is that a threat?" She challenged him, goading him closer to his breaking point. If he didn't love her, at least he could blow up at her, lose his temper, display some level of passion. That would almost be like he cared.

"You know he didn't mean that Cede," said Puck throwing Sam a look.

"Puck, I think you underestimate Sam's power. He can make me disappear just as easily as he can make Quinn appear right where he wants her."

"You're not making any sense Cede. You know she's upstate. Sam can't change that."

"Not for the lack of trying right Sam? What happened yesterday when you went to see her? Did she give you a warm welcome? Lift up her skirt and give you a ride?"

"Just be quiet," he said turning away from her dismissively.

Mercedes wasn't letting him run from this, not this time. She followed him to the other side of the room. "Did you get too loud and the hospital had to ask you to take it outside? Is that how you ended up at the hotel? Or did you slip the orderly a hundred for some alone time with the whore you can't live without."

"That's enough." He snapped. "I'm tired of your mouth."

"That's not what you were saying when we were together at the hospital. I remember you liked all the little things I did, especially with my tongue. You even begged me not to stop. Do you remember that Sam? Or did you conveniently block that out like you did with every other memory of us."

"I swear to god Puck if you don't shut her up-" he said raising his voice and leering into her personal space.

"Sam you back the hell off." Puck shoved Sam back. "I warned you about this."

Mercedes giggled even though all she felt was nausea, but she knew it would set him off. Sam never could stand feeling like he was being mocked.

"She's flipping crazy," he said trying to push past Puck.

"I'm crazy? I'm not the one that has a split personality. One minute you want me, the next you can't get enough of her. Do you even know what you want Sam?"

"I told you I want to explore things between us," he said pointing at her, Puck still between them, his words sounding more like a threat than a heartfelt admission.

It felt like a slap in her face, further proof that everything had been just words for him, a means to some unknown end.

"Bullshit. You want to shut me up. You think a few kisses and I'll be putty in your hands, while you screw that bitch behind my back."

Puck lifted his arm as a barrier to hold her away from Sam. He must've known how badly she wanted to slap him. Instead she took out all her frustrations on Puck's phone, squeezing it so tightly she thought it might crack.

"I've been nothing but upfront with you," said Sam taking his tone down a notch.

"Liar!" Tears choked her throat as she yelled at him. Why did couldn't she stop crying over this man? Years of her life already wasted, loving him, with nothing to show but piles of lies, tears, and pain. "You told me you wouldn't do this. You made me believe you wanted us to have a chance. I thought you cared about me."

This was the man she'd chosen, the one she'd pledged her heart and her body to. She thought she'd gotten it right, she'd given herself to him completely, fully this time, every part of her was his. She let go of all her fears and threw herself into loving him ignoring all the red flags. Her heart could see the parts of him everyone else couldn't. Inside her soul she knew Sam was the man for her. She'd let him in, shared her secrets, her hopes and dreams, trusted him to keep the nightmares at bay and keep her safe in the dark. And he had done the same, letting her into places that he'd always kept hidden, loving her openly and honestly.

Under the halo of morning light, not long after they had married, he promised to always be there, they'd greet the dawn together. They vowed to keep their love intact no matter the challenge, to reaffirm their commitment at the start of each new day. And with those promises her castle had crumbled, she no longer needed a safe place to hide from the darkness and pain that followed her since her childhood. Sam made it all better. He made her feel safe and loved. With him by her side Mercedes felt free to step into the light, to finally believe lasting happiness was more than a wistful daydream.

Deceptions and lies hidden beneath the trappings of love, over and over she'd let him wear her down, chipping away at her heart and soul, until there was nothing left but this moment, so much like their first, where she was the one left holding all the love, receiving nothing in return. It hurt worse than any torment she had endured as a child, at least then her heart was safely tucked away in her white castle, but now Sam held all the power, she'd given it to him the moment she'd handed over her heart. He never bothered to give it back, preferring to play with it like a yo-yo, amusing himself for a while then shoving it in his pocket when he grew bored.

Mercedes needed her heart back. It was the only way she could escape this pain, to set herself free from this cyclical torture that Sam insisted on inflicting all under the guise of love. If only she could find the courage to break away. For good.

Mercedes rested her head against Puck's back, willing her breathing to slow and her tears to stop. She couldn't let herself fall apart, not yet, and not in front of him.

"I think both of you need to take a break," said Puck doing his best impression of referee.

Sam held both his hands up and backed down. "I'm fine now, Puck," he said from a safe distance.

Puck looked over at Mercedes, waiting for her to respond. She only nodded tersely, that was the best Puck was going to get.

"I do care about you," Sam said, his voice suddenly sounding gentle.

"Stop lying to me!" Every cell in her body was on fire. She literally wanted to hurt him, even after all this he still was trying to play her.

"I'm not lying. You've got to believe me." He managed to evade Puck, and he was back in her space, clouding her air, touching her again. He grabbed her hand and tried to force her fingers to thread through his.

"Stay away from me," she mouthed as she snatched back her hand.

"Mercedes please don't be like this. Let me prove to you I care," Sam pleaded.

Puck placed his hand on Sam's shoulder. "Sam why don't you give it a rest? Obviously she's upset right now."

"No Puck I want to hear what Sam has to say." Mercedes held up the phone she had been clutching in her hand, turning the screen toward Sam so he could see the photo of him with Quinn. "And you can start by explaining this."

Sam ran his hand through his hair, fidgeting as he tried to come up with some plausible response. "Look," he started, pausing as he fidget some more, beginning to pace a bit in the small space in front of her. "It's not what you think," he said finally when he stopped moving.

Puck grabbed the phone from Mercedes's hand. "Sam what did you do?"

"I think we all know the answer to that question Puck."

"Where did you get that?" asked Sam, looking like he wanted to crawl out of his skin.

"The miracle of the internet," Mercedes said blandly. She was so tired of him and his pitiful excuses. She wanted a straight answer from him for once. "So are you going to deny it?" she asked.

He looked at her, almost begging with his eyes. He wanted her to let this go, like she always did. Sam couldn't even remember her yet somehow he had already learned she was a pushover when it came to him. That was about to change from here on.

"Just let me explain," he said taking a step toward her.

Mercedes held out her hand, signaling him to not come any closer. "Can you be a man and just be honest with me? Were you and Quinn together at a hotel last night? Is this picture real?"

Opening and closing his mouth, as if wanted to respond but thought better of it, he looked from her to Puck, and then at the floor. "Yes," he said finally.

Mercedes heard Puck swear under his breath behind her. "Dammit Sam."

Tears burned in Mercedes' eyes but she clung to her control like a lifeline. "When you called me last night was Quinn with you?"

He looked up and their eyes locked. He took a deep breath. "She was in the shower," he said never looking away.

That was all she needed to hear. "You son of a bitch," she said, her voice breaking through the tears. "I want a divorce."

She was done.

-