Get the Girl

by wendyalisony

Years after the Bellas graduate, the girls have each gone their way to develop their careers & fulfill their dreams all the while keeping in touch with one another. But Chloe suddenly drops off the radar and a concerned Beca decides to find out what is up with the redhead, unknowingly finding herself in the process. [Some rewrite in progress to incorporate what's happened in PP3]

3. Chloe: I'm a Weirdo

A/N: Chloe's secret is out, you'll find out how Fat Amy came to know about it and why she is helping Chloe keep that secret. Enjoy!

It started with shortness of breath. Chloe Beale had thought she was not doing as much cardio as she used to when she was with the Bellas and started training herself again. But soon, she noticed her voice also changed slightly while demonstrating singing to her class; a slight hoarseness which her students did not seem to notice. She, though, had a keen enough ear to perceive the difference. And despite her workout regimen, her breathing had not improved, and she began to cough occasionally as though something was obstructing her airway.

There was no pain, like she had when she got nodes. The doctor, reassuring her that it was a fairly simple procedure with no scarring, had successfully removed her vocal nodules through steroid injection. It kept her voice mostly unharmed though she lost a bit of vocal range and cannot sing a G-sharp or higher, else her vocal nodules might return. She had mostly kept to that advice since, singing minimal high notes when performing or teaching. However, she still sang frequently; at school during the day, and with the musical group 'Atlanta Vocal Project' in the evenings. It kept her busy and she needed that to fill her time after graduation.

The kids at the primary school where she taught absolutely loved her, she taught with the kind of fervor and enthusiasm as though they were her own children and she led them into the a capella world. Interest grew so much that parents asked her to coach their kids to sing a capella during festivities and community performances. Things were not looking as bad as she had imagined after graduating.

The principal and other teachers all liked Chloe too, she was always bubbly and cheerful, not to mention she was stunningly gorgeous with her red locks and sapphire blue eyes. They kept teasing her as the most eligible bachelorette in Atlanta, always trying to set her up on dates and she became the love interest to several of the male teaching staff soon after she started the job. Of course, she politely declined their advances, either stating she was not ready for a relationship, or (to the more persistent ones) she would tell them she has a lover already. She did not come out or speak of her sexuality. In fact, she spoke little of herself.

Every time, someone hinted at romance, Beca Mitchell filled her thoughts and she tried as hard as she could to push them away. She's with Jesse now, happily living her dreams in LA. So stop it! The truth was, she has not found anyone she could fall for so hard again, and it made her feel more alone. She discreetly headed to a lesbian bar once, the only one she could find in her area, but it made her feel emptier still as she was immediately hit on by the ladies who frequented the club and were overly desperate to find love or to get in her pants. It only made her cling to memories of Beca more than ever.

Eventually, she found some solace outside of teaching at 'Atlanta Vocal Project' where she sang with other hobbyist singers while volunteering on weekends at the Children's Shelter Home, where she and her biological mother spent most of their days until mom died when she was five. She never met her father. She was left under foster care by a kindly old professor, a first-generation Bella, who lost her husband many years ago and never had children. She became her sole family and mentor. The professor loved Chloe as her own daughter; taking the girl to singing classes and dancing classes and ensuring she was well provided for in every way possible. The child did not disappoint and became a Bella herself. Sadly, the professor passed away during Chloe's junior year and bestowed what remained of her assets to Chloe upon her passing. It was a considerable sum adequate for her to support herself for 7-8 years, Chloe also inherited the house where they stayed and for that reason, she never left Atlanta.

Being a foster kid with an elderly parent trained Chloe to be strong, fearless and independent, she hardly troubled anyone with her problems. When she had nodes, she didn't think of really telling anyone. Her doctor had said they would go away on their own if she would rest her voice and quit singing for 6 months. She was unable to hide the fact that the pain intensified each time she sang and only told her fellow Bellas when she was not able to sing properly at SBT. She later opted to get them removed rather than wait 6 months without singing. She checked into the hospital during spring break on her own to complete the procedure, again not informing anyone until after the fact.

This time was no different, she booked herself to a clinic to find out what might be the cause of her voice change and coughing. After a GP visit, she was referred to an ENT specialist who prescribed an endoscopy. It took one week for the diagnosis results to return.

"Chloe," the same doctor who cleared her nodes looked up gently from the report to the girl sitting across from him, his eyes revealing a look of concern that meant he did not have good news "the biopsy test shows that you have stage II laryngeal cancer, it's a cancer in the area where your vocal cords are." He paused, letting the girl soak in this upsetting information. Chloe returned him a bewildered look but she remained generally calm, so he continued, "It's still an early stage and very treatable, not life-threatening if you choose to treat it now."

"What about my voice?" she immediately asked. There was nothing more important, losing her voice is the same as a death sentence, and all that she ever worked for or loved stemmed from her voice.

The doctor felt an unease, knowing that what comes next may be harder for the girl to swallow, but he pressed on as professionally as he could, "The cancer is supraglottal, meaning it's just right above your vocal cords, but it's very near it which is why you find your voice has altered a little. Any form of treatment will likely impact your voice." Chloe's breathing started growing heavier…

"Impact how? Will I be able to sing? Will I be able to talk?" She looked as though she was asking herself these questions as she frantically looked around her, a blur forming as tears welled up in her eyes and she clenched her fist to hold herself together and stop herself from shaking. She coughed again.

"We will do whatever we can to keep your voice intact but we're unable to guarantee it won't be impacted, you might have a thicker voice and your vocal range might deplete, you'll need more effort breathing and swallowing which can significantly affect singing ability. A voice therapist may help but I advise most patients refrain from excessively using their voice as any recurrence would likely result in a laryngectomy or removal of the vocal cords." Chloe heard what the doctor said but her brain is racing to fathom how she could possibly refrain from using her voice or how her voice will change after this.

"Chloe?" The doctor gently brought her back from her thoughts after a period of awkward silence.

"I don't understand how…this could happen," she couldn't bring up the scary, medical c-word, "I had nodes and I thought that was it, I had them treated and all was good, I don't drink heavily or smoke at all…I really don't understand. And I can't sing?" She bit her lip as her eyes redden more. Somehow, singing meant a lot to her, the doctor knew this very well, he told himself not to go there.

"Yes, it's very rare for a patient like yourself to have this type of cancer, it can be due to genetic factors combined with excessive use of your voice. But do not lose heart, it's quite an early stage and you came to me quickly enough for us to detect it. As I said, it's very treatable as long as you do it soon. If it spreads further down and to your lymph nodes, treatment will be much more complicated. You're not a smoker nor do you drink heavily, your chances of survival are very, very good."

"When do I need to decide and what are treatment options?" she needed to know what lies ahead and most importantly, if she could ever sing again.

"We recommend a combination of surgery and radiotherapy. Surgery alone will remove the tumor, but radiotherapy lower the chances of it coming back. Do you have family with you to perhaps discuss this together?"

"And how will these treatments affect my voice? I teach singing for a living, I….I need to know if I will ever be able to speak or sing like I do now." She ignored his question about her family. The anxiety inside her was ready to burst, she was afraid of the answer but she knew she had to face it, and face it alone.

The doctor recognized he cannot sidestep the question any longer. The poor girl seemed to hold on to her voice more than dear life. "Chloe, we cannot guarantee the outcome of your voice, we will try our absolute best to keep your vocal cords intact, but these treatments will impact how you will sound. Speech function should not be a concern, you'll sound raspier, but you might need to be prepared that your voice will permanently change and… that you won't be able to sing." Chloe no longer held back her tears upon those words and she raised her hands to her face in despair. The doctor grabbed a box of Kleenex from his desk, gently placed it towards her, wheeled his chair closer and laid his hand on her back to comfort the girl, she was shuddering.

"Do you have any family members who you can discuss this with and support you? I'd be happy to meet with them to…"

"No, I'm…by myself." Chloe thought of the Bellas. This has been my family for seven years! Her own words pierced her. The Bellas are mostly gone, living their own lives. She was crying harder now and her breaths are getting shorter, she grabbed a Kleenex to blow her nose, and another to wipe her tears.

If I'm going to lose my singing voice, then I won't be able to teach again, and I won't be a Bella anymore, I won't ever belong again, not even as legacy! My life will have no…meaning! Another flashback crossed her mind to the time when they were doing that disastrous gig for the senior's home. She was highly stressed and confused back then too with many thoughts jammed into her head right before their performance, similar to what was happening now. "If we fail this, then we won't win the Worlds, and if we don't win the Worlds, there will be no more Bellas, and without the Bellas, then my life would have had no… "She remembered she cannot say exactly what was on her mind; "my life would have had no more Beca Mitchell". Flo attempted to help her along by suggesting 'malaria', but Chloe managed to complete her sentence with the word 'meaning', without embarrassing the DJ who was feeling just as stressed and underprepared.

What happened back then was nothing compared to this, Chloe felt a true feeling of devastation and for the first time in life, she felt the urge and the need to shut out everyone, to be left entirely alone to deal with the situation. She lost a sense of belonging; the one thing that ties her to work, to friends and to the Bellas is being stripped from her. Yes, she has no more meaning for life.

Whatever the doctor said afterwards became a haze, she only remembered that she would need to make the decision within a month so they could operate on her before the tumor spreads.

She inadvertently did what Beca had always been good at, to run and shut everyone one out. She resigned from her teaching post immediately to serve the 2 weeks notice period required of her. It came as a shock to the entire teaching staff as well as her students but Chloe never told them the truth, not wanting them to remember her as the singing teacher who would soon no longer sing. She cited family emergency as her reason to anyone who asked.

Chloe then excused herself from everything else (the musical group and volunteer work) and stayed at home in the evenings, focused only on giving her best and last "hoorah" in the final 2 weeks of her teaching job. She went through past recordings of her voice and made new recordings of herself while singing for future keepsake. She even changed her phone number; because of all people, the Bellas would be the ones affecting her the most. She did not have the heart to tell them what was happening to her, this was not nodes, but CANCER! What more can she do or talk to them about once she is no longer able to sing or maybe even speak properly for that matter. Their sympathy will only shatter her more, making her feel even more outcast.

She had planned on moving too, to really run away from everyone. The house she was living in could be sold for a good price and she can move to somewhere small away from Atlanta to start a completely new life where nobody knew she could sing, then she will live out the rest of her life as a dancer, and hopefully forget about the Bellas and Beca, and maybe find love once again. This was the only plan that would keep her going.

It was as if fate won't leave her be for Fat Amy suddenly showed up just two days after Chloe tendered her resignation and changed her phone.

Fat Amy had planned on surprising the former Bellas. She had visited Legacy and the new batch of Bellas at Barden, made quite an impression with the new group of girls before she called Chloe to check where the redhead is. Unable to reach her, she decided to just drop by at Chloe's place during the evening when she's likely off work. She had hoped Chloe would be psyched to see her, given how much the redhead loved surprises. Then they would ring up Aubrey and Flo and have a small get-together before she leaves for New York in a couple of days. Fat Amy had been looking forward to this small reunion. The minute Chloe opened the door, Fat Amy immediately sensed something was not quite right.

Chloe looked more disorientated seeing her than surprised, and her house was somewhat in disarray. Fat Amy roomed with the redhead long enough to know that she was generally a neat and tidy person, this was unlike her. Things were off the shelves, stuff were placed all over a coffee table in the living room. Several stacks of books laid in the corner, the couch had a bunch of folded up laundry on it, leaving only one seat out of three uncovered. It wasn't a complete mess, but it looked like things were deliberately misplaced. Chloe moved one stack of laundry to a chair close-by to allow room for Fat Amy to sit.

"What's up Ginger? Doing some reorganizing?" Fat Amy mused, looking around her as she took her seat.

"Yeah, just clearing some stuff, much of it's gathering dust so was thinking of getting rid of some of the things that's just laying around." Chloe did not want to tell the big Bella that she was moving, "Sorry you had to see my place in this state, wasn't expecting visitors, but what are you doing here back in Atlanta?"

"Was in town for a commercial shoot, wanna surprise the old gang while I'm here. So here I am!"

"That's very sweet of you, Amy, it's…nice to see you again." Chloe smiled but the other Bella could no longer feign her sense of unease, this is not the Chloe Beale she used to know. The girl had lost her usual lively charm, she hadn't even given the big girl a hug when they greeted at the door, and something about her voice…Fat Amy couldn't pinpoint it but it sounded like she was suffering an onset of a cold or flu, or recovering from one. It sounded slightly different, not the chirpy, high-pitched voice she was accustomed to.

"Chloe, what's going on? You….sound different, and you look ….sad." Chloe coughed, diverting her eyes as she did so but Fat Amy waited until the redhead had to say something to break the uncomfortable silence.

"Well, I didn't plan on telling any of you, but since you're now here…"Chloe had truly not expected to tell somebody so soon, if at all, yet she could not come up with an excuse quickly enough to cover up her predicament, she knew Fat Amy noticed her voice change. She turned to face Fat Amy and with a deep breath, she said the words she had been dreading to say, "I have cancer. I have vocal cord cancer."

Fat Amy's eyes widened and sat back, in shock, "No way…Chloe, you're so..so healthy, you do cardio and shit, you don't smoke, you only drink at parties, tell me this ain't true." Chloe didn't look up nor did she reply, her silence meant she was not joking.

"B…but…how long have you known?" Fat Amy whispered.

"Since Monday." Chloe coughed again, "it's not life-threatening." She did not want the big girl to feel sorry for her.

"Thank god!" Fat Amy got up and took the girl in her arms, she was clearly relieved to know it was not the incurable kind. Chloe hugged her back "So whaddya need to do?" It then dawned on Fat Amy that this was cancer in the vocal cords, and she started to piece together why Chloe looked so desolate. "You're going to lose your voice?"

"My singing voice. Doctor said I'll need to go through surgery and radiotherapy, I won't be able to speak for 2 weeks after surgery, but they'll do what they can to keep my talking voice. But it's unlikely I….could sing…like ever again." The finality of her sentence brought Fat Amy to tears, as Chloe looked away, trying to withhold hers too. She had cried many times to herself the past week and it made her tired each time. She had never cried so much in her life.

"Oh my god, Chloe, why didn't you tell us?" This was HUGE, the Bellas HAD to know.

"I didn't know what to say, I mean, I don't want any of you to stop what you're doing and fret over my condition. It's just that I can't really take it, seeing you girls and not be reminded that I can no longer sing again. It depresses me. I feel I no longer have a place in the Bellas, legacy or no, and I just want to be alone, live a life where I won't be reminded of my love for singing."

Fat Amy contemplated what she just heard. She understood where Chloe is coming from. Yet, she disagreed where the Ginger thought she had no place in the Bellas. Being a Bella was for life, the girls would not think of her less even if she completely loses her voice, they would do whatever they can to support her.

"Chloe, you're a Bella for life, with or without your voice. You will always be a Bella in all our fat hearts. Right now, I understand it's hard for you to cope, but you cannot deal with this alone. You need Beca and all of us others to help you get through this!" The mention of Beca's name got Chloe a bit riled up.

"NO! Please, Amy, don't tell anyone. I don't want anyone to know, not even Beca! I can deal with this alone! I can! I had it all planned out already!" She had to stop to cough.

"Chloe, listen to me! You need to stop killing yourself to accommodate others. How much have you done for the Bellas? How much have you done for Beca? How much have you let others do things for you? You go out of your way to help and appease others, what about yourself? NOW is the time to let others help you!"

"I….I can't! Not now, I am not ready to see anyone, I cannot even live with myself knowing that sooner or later I couldn't sing, I simply can't. Please!" Chloe was now sobbing! Fat Amy placed her arm around her shoulder and patted her. She did not have the heart to press the girl further.

After she calmed a bit, Fat Amy asked her, "When will you start treatment? When's the surgery? Should you even be using your voice much now?"

"One month from now…I can handle this, Fat Amy… and yeah I can talk and still sing, just not excessively. Promise me you won't tell anyone, not Aubrey and especially not Beca! They're so busy with work, and Beca's in LA now, with Jesse, on her way to be a successful music producer, she doesn't have time for this! She doesn't need this!" Chloe looked at her imploringly.

"Shhhh….take a breather! Look, I won't tell anyone, at least not until you're ready. But now I know about all this, you really shouldn't keep hidin' your feelings, Chloe! You've got to stop killing yourself!" Fat Amy decided to venture into Chloe's long-kept secret, it has been 6 years and the girl has never once given up on the DJ, it's time to come to terms with that and make the girl come clean so she no longer has to bottle it up inside. "Beca meant a lot to you, didn't she? Even now."

"What? Yes, I mean all of you do….the Bellas had been my family for 7 years!" Chloe blushed, not quite sure why the Aussie kept bringing up the DJ.

"But Beca is special. Come on Chloe, don't think that I don't know the main reason you cannot tell the rest of the girls is partly if not entirely because of her. I read your journal, I knew, I mean ALL the girls knew you have this thing for Beca. It's been 6 years, when are you going to tell us, or tell her?"

"You read my journal?!" Chloe covered her face, not certain if she's more embarrassed by getting busted now or by the things she wrote all those years she's been crushing on Beca Mitchell.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. Alright, I'll come clean too now. My parents sent me only what was enough for me to get my tuition, books, and lunch and dinner stubs. I was starving and tried getting a part-time job to get more cash so I can buy me some breakfast, but nobody hired me, they say I was a klutz, that or work schedule conflicted with Bellas rehearsal. So, I took a 10 or 20 each month from you to feed myself. I could pay you back now, if you want…." It was Fat Amy's turn to look abashed.

"Uh…it's okay Amy, I sometimes did wonder where my money went. Glad you cleared that up…"Chloe coughed again but continued, "So, you came across my journal…"

"Well, I didn't mean to read it, it dropped open one time and I realized you wrote entries about Beca. I cannot help being curious, so I read it all, basically until Beca forced me to room with her. I wanted to help you, when the little idiot talked about Jesse or that DSM German chick, I tried changing the topic for you or interrupting her. You do not know how many times I tried to create opportunities for you both to be together, to talk."

"I….but how did the other girls know?" Chloe just remembered Fat Amy mentioning that. She cannot believe she was so bad at keeping her crush under wraps.

"Er…it was obvious, Ginger, you two were eye-banging each other, and the little introvert won't let anybody touch her without squirming or complaining, except you. She was always on the lookout for you too, once Denise transferred to another school, she insisted you get the single room while she roomed with me. She always worried about what you think. Beca cared about you more than any other Bella, even while she was rooming with my gorgeous fat ass. You never noticed?"

"That's only because I was co-captain, Amy. She had Jesse, that relationship's solid. Besides, she never mentioned being bisexual or gay, she was only sexually confused by DSM's Kommissar, and that was all the queerness she really showed."

"Come on Chloe, lesbihonest here, you think Jesse is really the right person for Beca?"

"No, but Beca won't leave him, she also kissed him on multiple occasions AND she initiated it, Beca loved Jesse and I only wanted her to be happy."

"Ever thought she only forced herself on him because she's a weirdo trying to eliminate her feelings for you? She tolerates the boy. I questioned her once why she deals with his shit and she said her parents divorce led her to believe that relationships should be about tolerance. Her dad gave up on her mom and remarried, she thought he didn't make the effort to deal with things he disagreed with or didn't like. She didn't want to follow in his footsteps nor did she want her first relationship to fail.

"Her first relationship?" Chloe raised her eyebrows, not quite believing that Beca had only one formal relationship.

"Yeah, your DJ is antisocial, remember? She didn't really have friends until she met us and Jesse was the first who tried to court her. Then again, he also tried to change her."

"Why would he do that? Bec's awesome just the way she is, I would never change her in a million years." She smiled at the thought of her, for the first time since Monday she forgot about her own tragedy. Fat Amy was glad she was hitting the right chords.

"Yeah, the frustrating little twerp is stubborn and blind as a bat! The girls have pooled money to bet on when they're gonna break-up. I put most of my money on this year!"

"You're betting on her break-up?" Chloe glowered, not enthused they took part of Beca's life as some form of entertainment.

"Cynthia-Rose started it. Look Chloe, don't be mad at us. We've watched you two really into each other for 4 years up-close, we all want you both to be happy and find your way to each other, we just sometimes get impatient because you two are sooooo sloooooow in admitting it." Chloe's resentment subsided. How can I admit it? The girl's still with Jesse and what if Bec never felt the same way, I cannot risk ruining our friendship. A look of sadness swept across the redhead's face once more as reality drifted back to her. Now I have cancer and will lose my voice, I'm even less to her than before. She's a rising star while I'm a used-up remnant of a Bella. Maybe, we're just not meant to be.

Fat Amy saw she was quickly losing the Ginger to negative thoughts. "When's the last time you spoke to Beca?"

"This past weekend, we texted." Chloe seemed to guess that the big girl wondered why Beca wouldn't have noticed her voice change like she did. "I changed my phone on Tuesday, you won't be able to reach me on my old phone anymore. I don't want them to figure out."

"Gosh, Chloe, you're being dead serious with not telling us or not letting us find out! You disappearing won't help, ya know? They'll all be wondering where you are. Especially Beca! She couldn't do without you. Sooner or later, they'll worry and look for you and like me, you'll be dealing with a face-off situation. That's gotta be much harder."

"I was going to move out, I was hoping you girls would never find me. I'm already packing, you see? I….never expected you coming to visit me, Amy." Indeed, Chloe never thought that one of the Bellas would suddenly show up on her doorstep.

Fat Amy would not relent now that she knew what was going on with the redhead, but she was also careful not to give any more pressure to the frail emotional girl in front of her.

"I hate to do this, but I do need to get back to NYC this Saturday for work. But Chloe, let me stay with you these two days, you don't have family and I can be your family while we figure out what to do next, okay? I remember you've got an extra room, I'll sleep there so my snoring won't bother you. We can talk and I can look after you. I had planned on calling up Aubrey and Flo once I've surprised you, I'll cancel that. They don't know I'm coming anyway." Chloe looked at the Aussie Bella beside her, the big girl genuinely wanted to help her and was willing to keep her condition a secret.

"Thank you." Chloe said in acquiescence and hugged her.

Fat Amy went back to her hotel, got her things, checked out and rushed back to Chloe's as fast as she could, making sure she saved Chloe's new number to her phone, she had half-heartedly wanted to share it to the group chat but she knew Chloe would lose her mind if the rest of the Bellas knew, especially Beca. She had a promise to keep.

That night, after dinner together and chatting about old times and more recent things happening while the two girls were apart, Chloe decided to call it a night since she needed to head to school early in the morning. Fat Amy, still not accustomed to sleeping so early laid on the bed thinking about the events that just transpired, when she heard Chloe singing in her bedroom next door. The girl will not give up singing even when she's soon to lose her voice, but she sounded as beautiful as could be, even when she made a small cough mid-way through. Fat Amy recognized the song, Chloe couldn't have chosen a more depressing number.

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so very special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here, oh oh

She's, she's running out again, oh
I say, she's running out
She runs runs runs runs
Runs…

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so very special
Yeah, I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I said it, I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

Fat Amy wept quietly, slouched against the wall adjacent to Chloe's room, as she pressed her ear to the door and her phone's microphone to the gap below the connecting door to Chloe's room. Beca Mitchell, you better turn your tiny ass around and save this girl. And that was how Fat Amy spent the rest of her Atlanta trip, at Chloe's house, consoling the redhead as much as she could before returning home to New York.

Two weeks later, Chloe received a voice message from the Aussie telling her she's coming back and asking her to consider telling the DJ. She thought about the 6 years she had secretly been in love with Beca. It had all been bittersweet memories but soon Chloe will be a changed person and clinging to them will not allow her to face her new life ahead. I have not said anything to her about how I felt for 6 years, why should I now? What good will it do? With a broken smile, she continued with her packing.

A/N: An emotional and sad chapter (sorry guys, I teared up myself writing this too!) but things will pick up hopefully, next chapter will be back to Beca's POV, let's hope she does go "Get the Girl"!