It takes her a full 30 seconds to regain her senses and stop staring after him.

Then she automatically turns and starts back on their usual route, only to realize after another half mile that she made a really, really big mistake by not chasing him down. She really owes him an explanation.

So she turns back around and heads back toward The Hob, hoping to overtake him as he finishes up his run. She makes it all the way back to the brewery, though, without ever catching up to Peeta. Confused, she yanks open the front door and strides through the bar, swiveling her head back and forth to try to catch a glimpse of him. There's just a small crowd, plus a handful of runners who have already made it back and are ordering a post-run beer, but Katniss still doesn't see any sign of Peeta.

"Gale," she says, smacking her hands down on the top of the bar to get his attention. "Did you see Peeta come back?"

Gale barely looks up from the beer he's pulling from the tap, but he gives a slight a nod toward the side windows that look out toward the parking lot. "You just missed him," he says.

When Katniss' eyes follow his direction, she sees the back of Peeta walking away. She makes a mad dash back out the front door and around the side of the building, reaching the parking lot just as Peeta tosses a bag into the back of his Jeep and opens the driver side door.

"Peeta! Wait!" she calls. "Wait!"

He pauses, his hand on the top of his door, one foot resting on the floorboard of the Jeep and the other on the ground. Slowly, he turns his head to look at her, and she can see, even from several yards away, that he looks exhausted.

He waits until she's only a few feet away, but he still doesn't say a word; he just stands there, waiting.

"Peeta, I…." Katniss begins, wringing her hands together and staring at the toes of her shoes. "I owe you an explanation."

Peeta tosses his keys on to the drivers seat of the Jeep and turns to face her fully, arms crossed across his chest. "Okay," he says, simply.

"Okay," she responds. She takes a deep breath and exhales shakily. "Okay, so that came out wrong before. "

He nods at her, but his face is softening and his stance is more relaxed.

"I'm just not good at this," Katniss continues, waving her hand vaguely back and forth to indicate the two of them. She sighs loudly and continues.

"I'm, uh, not sure if Gale or Haymitch or anyone told you, but I'm not really good about getting to know people because…well, because they don't tend to stick around," she says.

"Katniss," Peeta interjects softly.

"Just—" She holds up her hand to stop him. "It's okay. I just wanted you to know that it's me, and not you."

Peeta laughs quietly and without humor. "This sounds like the part where you tell me to have a nice life. I get it Katniss," he says, turning to open the door to his Jeep once again.

"Peeta, my Dad died when I was eleven," Katniss begins. "And then my sister was hit by a car right in front of me when I was seventeen. She died a few days later."

Peeta turns back toward her again, his eyes filled with unshed tears. "Katniss, that's terrible. I'm so sorry," he says, moving toward her and wrapping his arms around her without hesitation. Immediately she feels safer and more steady than she has all day; all week, really. It gives her the courage to continue.

"My Mom couldn't stand to look at me after that, I guess, because she took off a few months later, and I never heard from her again," Katniss says, her words muffled in the sleeve of Peeta's t-shirt. Peeta releases her and places his hands on her shoulders so he can look her in the eyes.

"I'm fine now, really," she continues, wiping quickly at the two tears that have formed at the edges of her eyes. She laughs bitterly. "I mean, I know I seem like a total mess, but I've come a long way. I know now what it costs to love someone, and I know it's not worth it."

There is a long pause while they both just stand there staring at each other silently. Peeta lets his hands drop from her shoulders, a contemplative look on his face. Finally Katniss says, "I totally get it if you want to take off now. Most people do."

He skakes his head, drawing in a deep breath and exhaling loudly. "I don't think you understand, Katniss," he says, and he reaches out and touches the end of her braid, just barely. "I'm not going anywhere."

Her eyes are threatening to spill tears for real this time and she offers him the only thing she can at the moment, a small, watery smile. "I just wish it was that easy," she tells him honestly.

…..

"Well?" Haymitch asks, as soon as Katniss walks back into the brewery.

"Well, what?" Katniss retorts.

"Did you tell loverboy your story? Tell him about how you're on a one-woman mission to avoid making personal connections for the rest of your life?" Haymitch smirks at her before taking another swig from his flask.

"Shut-up, Haymitch," she says.

"So it went well, did it? How'd he take it?" Haymitch continues to taunt her, undeterred. "Probably saw right through your misguided self-placed armor and promised to stand by you to the dying end, right?"

Katniss tries to glare at Haymitch but it's hard when his assessment is so disarmingly accurate.

"He said he's not going anywhere," Katniss replies softly. "But I just have to try harder to convince him."

"Convince him of what," Haymitch asks, sounding more annoyed with her.

"That I'm not worth it," Katniss says calmly.

Haymitch laughs, slapping his hand on his knee and shaking his head from side to side in disbelief. Finally he stands, tucks his flask back into his inside pocket and puts his worn fedora on top of his balding head. "You know, the boy was right. You really don't have any idea," he mutters as we walks off toward the door.

No idea about what? Katniss wonders silently.

…

It doesn't matter that Peeta wants to stick around, Katniss reasons; she still can't be this involved with someone. Even if that someone still makes her heart swoop into her stomach every time she sees him across the room. They can be good friends; that's all, she thinks resolutely. There's no more room in her life for heartbreak, and that's exactly what she'll be dealing with if she doesn't stand her ground now.

But she never counted on how patient Peeta could be; how hard he would be willing to work to earn her trust.

They really only see each other at The Hob now, on running club nights. He's backed off, giving her space, and hasn't texted or asked her to run on Saturdays or meet at all. And she should be grateful, really, but she still finds herself acting like a stranger when he's around. It's like she's hard wired to shut down and push people away.

And yet there he is, as patient and perfect as ever, offering her reassuring smiles and pleasant jokes in response to her awkwardness.

Finally feels like she has no other choice: she stops coming to running club.