Eric awoke the next morning, Ariel's fourth day, stirring on the plush library couch. He shifted his weight, and noticed that he had a guest. Ariel let out a light snore, shifting to curl up closer to him. He sighed happily and draped an arm around her, closing his eyes to go back to sleep, then processed exactly what he was doing – or, more specifically, who with – and awoke with a start.
His sudden movement stirred Ariel as well, and she groggily slid up into a sitting position. "Mmm.." she hummed. "Good morning."
"Afternoon is probably closer." Eric laughed letting his head flop back. "It's almost one."
"Well, were both up late thinking, again." Ariel giggled.
Eric smiled down at her. "Up early, too."
"We're very busy people, we can't possibly keep to a normal sleep schedule." Ariel continued.
"Very busy." Eric thought through the rest of yesterday. They had kissed, and walked along the beach, and kissed, and gone swimming, and kissed, and built up a fire on the beach, and laid by it and kissed, and eventually retreated into the library, where he read to Ariel until she dozed off. He then kissed her forehead and promptly fell asleep himself.
Ariel was fidgeting, playing with her fingers and balling up more by drawing her legs beneath herself. It was clear something was on her mind. Eric looked down at her, trying to silently prompt her without being pushy.
Ariel exhaled, then flicked her eyes up meet his. "Do you regret, well, kissing me?" Ariel asked honestly.
Eric had thought about this when they strolled the beach later this morning. He didn't like that he cheated on his wife. He didn't like kissing or romancing Ariel when he had currently nothing else to offer her. "No." he said firmly. "I don't regret it. I don't think I could."
Ariel smiled up at him and rewarded him with, yet another, kiss. "I feel the same way." She settled. "But you are still married."
"I know." Eric sat up straighter, but did not untangle himself from the former mermaid. "I don't regret kissing you. I'll maintain that. But I'm not proud of myself for doing it while I'm married, even if it's only a marriage in the legal sense." He laughed without humor. "Oh, I feel stupid. I wish I had found you sooner. I wish I had waited longer, I always knew that you were the girl I was looking for! I wish I hadn't let myself get talked into writing letters and making proposals. I wish I had held out for love, and I wish I had more to offer you."
Ariel fidgeted a little. "What are you going to do?"
"Ariel, I don't know. I want you, and I don't want to keep you to the side like a mistress or a friend. I want you as my wife, and I want you as mine, forever." He turned to face her more. "Do…you want the same?"
"Yes, of course!" she burst out. It was a break of easy truth, and it felt wonderful to say it.
Eric swept her up closer, pulling the girl onto his lap. "God, it feels wonderful to hear you say that." He kissed her jawline, and continued. "And, if I were unmarried, we'd be married. Properly and extravagantly, on the biggest wedding ship you ever saw!"
"With a three tier cake!"
"And all of our friends would come out with us."
Ariel laughed. "Max could be ring bearer!"
"We'd tie the rings to his collar!"
"And Scuttle could be the flower seagull!"
"Wherever did you meet a seagull?"
Oops! Watch your tongue, Ariel! "Oh, you know, the same way you meet any animal. Just….around." She shrugged, as if it was common.
"Then Scuttle the flower seagull it is!" Eric laughed and slid her as close as she should be, so she was splayed across his chest. "And there'd be sea stars and shells decorating everything."
"And my dress would be as fluffy as sea foam."
"We'd have a beautiful wedding."
Ariel sighed at this, and braced herself on his chest with her forearms. "But…you're already married."
Eric sighed, their lovely thought having ended. "I don't think I can hurt her, Ariel. She's the perfect wife, just not my perfect wife."
Ariel slid off his lap and back to his side. Eric yearned to pull her back and promise her anything to make her stay, but he knew it wasn't right. He didn't want to hurt either Ariel or Cora, and, somehow, he was wounding both.
"Oh Eric, there you are!" Cora swayed in the doorframe, gathering herself in her arms. "I will say, it was strange when you didn't come to bed last night! I called for you but figured you were," her eyes flicked over to Ariel. "out".
Eric felt his throat go dry. Speaking ill of his marriage, disregarding his vows, were much easier when his wife was not standing in front of him. He didn't want to lie to her, but he found no joy in telling the truth. "Yes, I was. With Ariel." There, no details, but no lies.
"Ah, well." Cora rocked forward, pressing a hand against his chest and capturing him in a kiss. "I hope to see you at lunch, regardless."
Eric was overwhelmed suddenly, not so much for the events that transpired, but for the fact that he felt the need to turn and apologize, to Ariel.
…
Lunch was still, and awkward, and ungraced. Cora tried everything in her power to reverse this, being lively with conversation, asking each present party specific questions, and offering out plenty of food. She inquired as to Ariel's family, then dropped it, her interests, and was met with a polite, though short response, and asked of her health as her last-ditch effort. Cora then turned to Eric and asked of the sea, nodding and legitimately trying to understand everything he said. But, he too, seemed uncomfortable with the idea of speaking to her, even if it was on something he loved.
For the first time since Ariel's arrival, she thought ill of them both. Cowards. Keeping their secrets to themselves.
Cora felt heat building inside the room, pressing against her. Thumping and thumping like a stick to a drum. Her bodice was too tight. Her hair was pulled back too hard. She could feel the weight of her earrings and of the stone on her left hand.
Eric eventually broke the silence, seeming unable to take it any longer. "What are we going to do today?"
"Or next week or next month or for the rest of our years!" Cora exclaimed, stabbing a pear on her plate. "That is the question, isn't it, Eric?"
"Are…you okay?" Eric asked softly, sincerely.
No! Of course not! You know what happened, you know what you did! Worse, as do I! "No." Cora said curtly. "I'm going to lie down. You two," she stood up, and flicked the napkin down onto her seat. "go do whatever you want."
She walked out of the dining hall and the heavy wooden door slammed shut behind her.
"I don't think she meant that." Ariel whispered.
Eric nodded. "I don't know how to fix this." Eric admitted. "So I think we should pretend that she did."
…
"Is this cowardly?" Eric asked Ariel as they were walking out to the carriage.
"I've been thinking on that." Ariel nodded.
"And?"
"I don't think so. Not cowardly, just…confusing. Confused. Jumbled up and inconvenient for everyone. Because none of us are getting what we want."
"Elaborate."
"Well, correct me if I'm wrong on any of this, but here I go. What I want is to be a part of your world. I want everything you've shown me, in spades. I love the dancing and downtowns, and all the adventures to be had. And, most importantly, I want them all shared with you." She took his hand on this.
"I'm glad to hear it." Eric murmured.
"You want the kind of marriage you always assured yourself you were going to have. One, most notably, with love. And although Cora is really a sweet lady, she really, really is, you don't love her. You like her, but you don't love her, and a good marriage needs both. But it makes it a lot harder, because it's not like she's an evil, looming villain trying to zap you with her wand, it's not like she's hurt you or cursed you, so you can't justify hurting her. Especially since you know that she loves you, and you leaving her would hurt her. A lot."
"I know." Eric sighed. "This is where things get tangled up the most. She's just so…perfect. She has that sort of demure elegance that royal wives are supposed to have, and I respect that about her, and I like her as a person. If this was some sort of different universe where I had found you the day after you saved me."
Ariel sighed. "Or if I hadn't left at all."
"Then it would be perfect, because you and I could be together," Eric threaded his hand through Ariel's. "and Cora and us could be grand friends."
"But that didn't happen." Ariel reminded him. "And all our feeling are exactly where they should be, and our hearts are synced up with what they want, but we have other factors tangling everything up and ruining it for the lot of us."
The two boarded the carriage, and Eric took the reins, thinking a steady ride would create a better dynamic for conversation than a ride of Ariel's direction and velocity.
"And, that also brings us to what Cora wants." Ariel continued. "She had me confused for a bit, first off because I thought she was your sister, then because I thought she wanted you, period."
"You mean she doesn't?" Eric said with a hopefulness staining his voice that should normally never come when a man thinks his wife doesn't love him.
"She wants love. To be loved. Period." Ariel nodded, having put a lot of time and thought into her analysis.
"Which I cannot provide her." Eric said, grimly.
Ariel smiled up at him, shedding some optimism. "But someone else could."
…
The two got tired of riding around the carriage, as, with all serious conversations, one eventually reaches a point where the topic cannot be productively discussed any longer. So they rode off unbeaten paths back into town, where Eric eventually spotted a group of people dancing.
"Would you like to go?"
"Sure!" Ariel piped up, regretting her statement as soon as her feet hit the ground. Bolts of pain shot through her legs at lightning speed, and she let out a small cry before she could muffle herself. Eric came about the carriage and took her hand, leading her out into the dancing.
Walking was bad, running was worse, but Ariel could say with definitive knowledge that dancing was the worst. There was no time to grow numb to the pain, as your feet would be lifted off for a second, and then smack in a hard step or scuff. It felt as if she was moving on knives.
Eric began to steer her around the dancing couples, and Ariel focused on keeping her breathing steady and eyes down. She tried to focus on something else, though her choice of thought was not more soothing than the painful dancing.
Oh, how could this hurt so much? Eric never would've brought me here if he knew how I felt, but, maybe that's just it. He doesn't know. Maybe I should tell Eric the whole story. That would make one thing simpler, if we were at least fully honest with each other. This situation is certainly complicated enough, and much more difficult than I had thought it would be. Trying to move forward with him without working to clear up my past, well, that won't work, will it?
Eric lifted her up and spun her around, which gave her a brief respite from the pain.
She smiled, elated, and cried "Again, again!"
He lifted her again, and she laughed, exhaling with ease.
When Eric plopped her back on the ground, she was shoved cruelly back into reality.
I know he loves me, I know he does! But I also know that he loves me as a human, a foundling. What if he doesn't believe me? What if he doesn't see me the same when I tell him I was a mermaid. That, no matter what, it'll still be a part of me? Then I'd have to spend my last three days watching him from afar, seeing him pull away from me the same way he's pulling away from Cora. Are we the same woman, at different parts of the arc? Did Eric ever treat her like this?
The music picked up in speed and Eric pulled her tighter and moved more quickly into a reel.
"Are you okay?" He asked, concerned, as he saw how she winced periodically.
"Fine!" Ariel lied, again.
It comes down to whether or not I trust him, and trust that he loves me. If he loves me, in the true love sort of way I think he does, then it won't matter. It won't! He'll still love me, in the way he was never able to love Cora. Or, anyone else, I guess.
The music kept speeding up, and Eric spun to match it. Ariel felt like her feet were going to split in half and explode off, sending her half-won legs back into the sea and leaving her to drop to the ground. She glanced up at Eric, who was smiling softly down at her. He moved so easily, and she struggled only to match him.
This façade is too much to keep up, he has to know sometime. And, if I want assurance, he has to know. Moreover, I want him to. He's done everything for me that he could, and I want him to know all of me. And, now, that includes my past. And how we truly met.
He spun her, and spun her, and as he shifted his hands to lift her, her feet finally buckled and she collapsed, crying out, at last.
"Ariel!" Eric was at her side, on his knees, in an instant.
The townspeople glanced over, finally noticing exactly who was with them – and who he hadn't brought. They whispered, and gathered, as Eric helped Ariel to her feet and scooped her up, carrying her back to the carriage.
"Are you okay?" He asked, worried. "Are you hurt?"
"Not really." Ariel said, truthfully, looking around at the people, and receiving a profound assurance she wouldn't be able to place until years afterwards. "My feet gave out, but I'm fine."
"We should go back to the castle."
"Not yet." She laid a hand on his arm. "I have something to tell you about. Can we go to the offshoot?"
...
Important questions that aren't important – should I make a tumblr to put all my fanfics on? Would it make it easier for you guys, do you think more people would read em, etc?
Anyway, like always, please review!