Even though she stops going to running club, she can't avoid The Hob completely. After all, her best friend owns the place. On Wednesday when she stops by to see Gale, he leans down under the bar as soon as she walks through the door. He quickly retrieves a white box, which he sets in front of her as she takes a spot near the end of the bar.
"He left this for you," Gales says, his voice filled with impatience for this game of avoidance Katniss has been playing.
Katniss plucks at the white string tied around the bakery box, unwilling to open it and subcome to whatever temptation lies inside. No matter what it turns out to be, it will only serve as a metaphor for the temptation that the baker himself has become.
"Are you going to open that or play with it?" Gale asks, clearly annoyed. "Every time he's in here he asks about you, you know."
Katniss has worked the string loose and ducks her head to peer inside the box, but before her eyes register the flakey pastry, she already knows the box is filled with cheese buns. They aren't warm like they would be when they were first baked, but the savory aroma still fills her senses.
"You should call him," Gale says, dropping his elbows down to rest on the bar directly in front of her. "He's a good guy."
"I know," Katniss replies weakly. "I just…." She trails off, unable to explain that she's distancing herself for Peeta's benefit; to protect him. She closes the box and pushes it back across the bar toward Gale. She can't accept these.
Gale shakes his head in defeat and turns around. He's still not facing her when he says, "I'll tell him you said thanks."
…
There are no more cheese buns waiting at the bar for her at The Hob after that. Katniss rarely sees Peeta there now, but when she does, once or twice a month, she continues to ignore him and act strange. He seems to have taken the hint, because he no longer approaches her or even glances her way.
Except for one Friday night just before Christmas, when Joanna has convinced Katniss to have a few beers after a long week at work. Peeta and a group of friends are there and already several drinks in when Katniss arrives.
She sees him as soon as she walks through the door—at a table full of loud, laughing friends, most of them she recognizes from the running club. His eyes lock on hers immediately and he looks away, takes another swig of his beer. He seems to make a point of not looking back in her direction.
"You don't deserve him, you know," Haymitch tells Katniss before she can even pull out a stool to sit a the bar. She scowls but she doesn't offer a retort. "He's been nothing but patient with you; But it looks like he's finally come to his senses," Haymtich continues.
"Are you finished?" Katniss sighs, exasperated. No one knows how painful it is for her to watch Peeta become so distant and cold, even if she was the one who wanted it that way.
"I'm just saying: You could live a hundred lifetimes and still not….uh oh…" Haymitch trails off, his thought unfinished. Something behind Katniss has caught his attention.
Despite herself, Katniss turns in time to see a clearly drunken Peeta lift Delly off her feet and spin her around. And even though she knows she should turn away, Katniss is unable to stop staring as the two slow to a halt and Peeta takes Delly's face into his hands and presses an awkward, forceful kiss on her mouth.
It doesn't matter, Katniss thinks, turning away in disgust. But a sudden lurch in her stomach has her heading for the restroom and then out the back of the bar. She doesn't stop until she reaches home. Which is why she's not there to see Delly push Peeta away playfully and respond to his overzealous kiss with the remark, "Oh Peeta, don't be silly. You're too drunk to know what you're even doing."
But Haymitch sees it; and he also sees the way Peeta looks over to where Katniss had been sitting, a mix of regret and longing clouding his features.
…
Katniss tosses and turns that night, unable to sleep. She punches her pillow, unable to pinpoint why she's so angry about seeing Peeta kiss Delly. No, that's not why she's upset. Not exactly. After hours of restlessness, she realizes the person she's angry with is herself. Because it seems like she's succeeded in making her point and gaining her distance from Peeta, but at what cost? Why can't she move on now that she has what she supposedly wanted?
…..
She's miserable. Joanna points this out several times a day. And not always in the nicest way.
"You happy now?" she taunts Katniss one blustery day in January. "You pushed away baker boy, you won't let me set you up on a date, you—"
"Jo! For the last time I'm not going out with your cousin Blight," Katniss interrupts.
"Well anyway, you're miserable and you need to get laid," huffs Joanna. "Quite frankly we all agree that you made a huge mistake pushing away Peeta."
"Who's 'we all'," Katniss questions with narrowed eyes. She has a sneaking suspicion she knows exactly who Joanna means.
….
Her suspicions are confirmed later that week when she sees Gale. She calls him out on it.
"So you and Joanna agree I made a "huge" mistake," she says, using her fingers to make air quotes around the word huge.
Gale chuckles but when he sees how set her jaw is, he changes tactics. "Look Katniss…"
Katniss' eyebrows shoot up at the use of her real name. Gale only calls her that when he's angry or extremely serious.
He sighs, wipes his hands on the bar rag he's holding before tossing it behind him. "You're my best friend, but I think you made an ass of yourself with Peeta," he says.
At the first sounds of her protesting, he holds up his hand. "Let me finish," he goes on. "And it would be one thing if you just hurt the guy because you decided you just didn't want to be with him. It would be rude, sure, but I could at least understand why you did it."
Katniss clears her throat, looking everywhere but at Gale. She feels warm and she knows her face is turning seven shades darker with every word that leaves his mouth. It's not unlike Gale to call her out but she can tell this time it's different.
He continues, "But what I can't understand is you moping around miserable, knowing that you've made him miserable, and all for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Because, Katniss, look at me…"
She lifts her head, trying to give him a defiant glare, but her eyes are betraying her as they fill with tears.
"Because Katniss, anyone who's been within 10 yards of you the last few months can see it written all over your face. You DO want to be with him. And I think you know that you've made a big mistake. And frankly, I'm tired of watching you ruin your life."
Katniss could not have felt differently if Gale had just slapped her face. She stares at him in shock for several moments before mutely turning and walking stiffly out the door. She takes several large gulps of the icy air, feeling the tears finally tumbling down her cheeks. The thing is, she misses Peeta and she does know now that pushing him away was a huge mistake. She thought that if she could keep him at arm's length she would feel less and risk less, but all it's done is make her even more miserable.
The problem is, even now that she knows why she's so miserable, she doesn't know how to fix it. And she's still too stubborn to say anything.