Katniss ponders both Joanna and Gale's words over the next few days. She knows the ball is in her court, but she doesn't know what to do. She can't exactly call Peeta up and expect him to graciously pick back up where they left off that day of the kiss in the rain. Even approaching him and trying to regain his friendship will be difficult after all these months.
But she craves his voice, and his warmth. Needs him, really. She gasps the first time she realizes this. She needs him. He's her only hope against her nightmares; against the dark places in her mind. He's her only hope for lasting happiness.
Still, she thinks it is probably too late to win back the boy with the bread.
….
Gale doesn't tells her when the running club will be resuming in the Spring, so Katniss is blindsided the day she walks into the Hob and sees Peeta again. He looks so good. Strong and beaming that natural light he tends to give off. But he falters when he sees her. His smile seems forced although he's perfectly nice when he greets her.
He has cheese buns for the runners and is setting them up on a nearby table and Katniss approaches him to try and say something—anything. She's not sure if it's an apology she's offering or what, but once she's in front of him she can only stumble out a vague, "hey."
He seems surprised that she's approached him. His eyebrows go up a bit, his lip quirks into a small smile. "Hey," he offers back, softly. Katniss is intensely uncomfortable and completely unable to formulate any further words.
"What did you come over here for Katniss?" he finally asks, but there is no malice in his voice, only confusion.
"I just wanted to see how you've been," she finally manages to work out.
"I thought it might be the lure of the cheese buns," he jokes in his old familiar way. And she can't help a tiny smile.
….
It's a start, at least. She knows that the brief conversation they shared is far from rebuilding their friendship, but she's relieved to have taken the first step. He didn't yell at her or outright ignore her, so that's good.
She climbs the last few steps to the top of the ridge where she's hiked this Saturday morning, something that has always helped her to clear her head. Thoughts of seeing Peeta again the other day at The Hob keep swirling around inside her head and she's unsure of what comes next.
Katniss sits down on one of the rocks jutting out high over the valley below, taking in the serene view. Spring has come and the trees below are beginning to bud, a pale green taking over the land where only bare, brown land had been before. She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, relaxing in one of her favorite spots.
It all comes down to this: it was a big mistake to push Peeta away. She's missed his infectious enthusiasm and his optimism. Seeing him at The Hob has only reinforced her feelings. She felt safe and steady with him around; she was sleeping well for the first time since her sister had died.
She reaches up and wipes away the tears that have started to trail down her cheeks unbidden, but they keep flowing. Katniss weeps openly there on the ridge, finally letting all her anquish and bottled up feelings out. When she's finally all cried out she feels oddly lighter and yet exhausted. She knows she should turn back now and hike the 2 miles back to the trailhead. As she stands to leave, she takes in the scenery one last time and it is then that she notices the crop of dandelions that has managed to creep up and grow between two rocks, finding the sunlight and a place to lay roots against all odds.
A wide smile spreads across Katniss' face. "Against all odds," she says out loud. I have to at least try to get Peeta back, she thinks. Suddenly she is energized. She knows exactly what she wants and exactly what she will do now. She plucks several of the dandelion stems and begins to hum one of her father's old cheerful tunes as she makes her way excitedly back down the trail.
…..
He's not at the bakery. Katniss frowns in disappointment when Peeta's brother, Rye, explains that Peeta is already gone for the day. From the look of trepidation on Rye's face, Katniss can tell that Peeta has told him about how cold and unfeeling she has treated Peeta these last few months. But something in her expression must get to him because finally Rye relents, "He's over at that bar….The Hob…"
Katniss doesn't let him finish. "Thank you!" she blurts out, and then completely out of character, she grabs him in a quick hug before running out the door.
….
It's only as she's pulling into the parking lot at The Hob that she regrets not going home to change first. Or really, a shower would have been a huge plus right now. Dried sweat clings to her skin from her earlier hike and her hair is coming out of her messy braid in all directions. Screw it, she thinks. She's determined to tell Peeta how she feels and this can't wait even one more minute.
He's there, near the windows where he always sets up the snacks for running club, although Katniss briefly notes that it is not a running club day. Still, he's arranging small sandwiches and other snacks for some sort of small event.
Katniss strides straight over to him, not even offering a glance at Gale and Haymitch near the bar. Peeta's face is a mask of concentration on his task, and he doesn't even look up as she approaches him. When he finally does he seems surprised to see that it's Katniss standing right next to him.
"Katniss," he says, and even she can tell that he's working hard to keep his face neutral, "Did you need something?"
"No, I…I just wanted to talk to you. I miss you," she chokes out. "I never meant to ruin our friendship and I…." she trails off. He's watching her intently. He clearly wasn't expecting this outpouring of honesty; not now and especially not here in the bar where there are spectators. Something in his face changes after a moment, as if he's decided something.
"You didn't ruin it," he says, sighing. "We both did. You needed some space or more time, or whatever and I acted like a wounded jerk."
"Peeta no!" she interjects. "I pushed you away. I'm….it's hard to explain but this is not what I wanted. I never wanted you to stop talking to me."
He's playing with some small cut flowers that he's been arranging in beer glasses on the table. They're dandelions, actually, and she realizes he must have just gathered them from the patch of grass in the lot out behind the brewery. He twists one around and around on the stem, then offers it out to her. "How about we start over," he suggests. "As friends."
"No" she says, "I don't want to be friends." She can see the light go out of his eyes immediately, but she rushes on. "Peeta, I don't want to be friends because…I'm not good with words…" she's flustered and finally she just acts, rather than continue bumbling her words. She brings her hand from behind her back where she is still holding the stems of now wilted dandelions she picked up on the ridge when she had her revelation during her hike.
"I saw these, earlier, and I knew…I just knew what I had to do. That I had to tell you," she thrusts the dandelions towards him, urging him to take the bright yellow weed that symbolizes the hope she has for regaining his trust…and perhaps even his love.
He's working it out, she can see it in his face. They're both standing there holding dandelions out to one another in what? A peace offering? More? His question is answered when she reaches forward and places her hands on either side of his face and leans up to press her lips to his. He's shocked, so he doesn't kiss her back and when she pulls away only a second later he's looking at her wide-eyed.
"Peeta, I need you," she says, pleading. She sees joy alight in his eyes the moment he truly understands her intentions. And he takes her face in his own hands and kisses her now, having regained his own faculties. The kiss is gentle at first, as if he still can't believe this is happening, but it quickly deepens as they both pour all of what they are trying to say into the kiss. Peeta's hands move to her waist and he pulls her in close, possessively, as he slants his mouth and devours her in the way he's dreamed about for months. With one hand she grips his muscled shoulder, while the other she threads through the curls at the nape of his neck. When she tugs gently on his hair he moans and takes her bottom lip between his, nipping lightly.
From the bar area Haymitch and Gale clap loudly, causing Katniss and Peeta to break apart briefly and remember exactly where they are standing.
"'bout damn time they came to their senses," Haymitch says, turning back to his drink.
But Katniss can't even spare him her trademark scowl; she's too busy beaming up at Peeta, who apparently could also care less what their onlookers think, because he promptly backs her up against the wall and continues kissing her as if it's the only thing he wants to do for the rest of his life.
-End-