A Walk in Your Shoes

by Spirit007

Imagine that one person that irritates, infuriates, & insults their way under your skin to the point where each moment with him or her becomes a pop quiz in self-control. Now, imagine that you've woken up in that person's body. For Lily Evans & James Potter, learning to navigate this unfortunate and stressful new reality is truly a walk through hell.

2. A Spectacular Conundrum

"Well, I hope you'll both forgive this momentary informality, but 'bloody hell' doesn't quite do this justice."-Albus Dumbledore

Chapter Two: A Spectacular Conundrum

The Gryffindor Common Room disappeared into a blurred background as Lily peered closer to the doppelganger in front of her. She appeared to have the same hair, same face, same everything as herself. Then a sudden thought struck her: if this girl was supposed to look exactly like her, shouldn't she be as tall was? Why do I have to stare down at her? she thought.

Lily also noted that this student looked just as horrified as she felt, and her breath had quickened as though she were trying to stave off a panic attack.

Something was clearly very wrong here.

"Bloody fucking hell," the girl murmured vehemently, eyes widening.

Without another word she reached out, snatched Lily by the wrist and dragged her to the door and out of the Common Room. Lily was so stunned that she allowed herself to be led silently without struggling, until she and the other individual arrived to the prefect's bathroom. The mystery girl flung Lily inside and slammed the door shut behind them . She immediately began to pace, alternating between rubbing her face with her hands and waving and shaking her hands rapidly in the air. "Oh, great Godric, this is bad…this is so much worse than I'd suspected…" she kept saying under her breath.

Lily shook her head slightly to gather her bearings and inhaled deeply to steady her nerves. "Okay," she finally slowly, when she found her voice. "Who are you, really?"

The stranger moved to stand in front of the mirror by the sink and leaned heavily on the counter. She looked utterly bewildered as her eyes scanned rapidly over her reflection. "I'm…I'm…" she stammered faintly. "I'm a girl!"

"Yes, and who else should you be?"

The girl gaped and gestured wildly at Lily. "Me! I should be me!" She gripped a fistful of red hair in each hand, lifting it up for examination close to her face. "But instead I'm Lily Evans!" she wailed loudly.

"Whoa, what? Excuse me? Wait, what do you mean? I'm me, you just accidently must have—"

"Wrong," she interrupted, whirling back around. She glared at Lily as she jabbed a rude finger into her face. "You're not you!" When Lily just continued to look puzzled, the imposter clapped a hand over her mouth and her eyebrows shot upward. "Wait, you can't possibly—you don't know, do you? Seriously?! You didn't…notice anything weird when you woke up?" She snorted and crossed her arms, lifting one shoulder. "Then again, how could you? I'm perfect," she added smugly.

That sort of attitude strongly reminded Lily of someone.

The girl waited a few moments in silence for a response but when Lily said nothing, she threw her hands up in frustration and rolled her eyes heavenward. "Bloody balls! Are you a complete idiot, Evans? Haven't you looked at yourself?"

Lily's breath quickened and she began to feel woozy. There was only one person who called her by her last name in that tone. She pressed her fingers to her forehead and rubbed along the worry lines, smearing against sweat beads that had begun to form. "What…did you just call me?" she asked shakily.

"I've called you that since first year!"

Lily pointed her finger at him. "But that means you're…you're…"

The girl leaned in and raised an eyebrow. "Guess who?" she snarked.

Lily leaned in within a few inches of her face and looked into her eyes. Although they were an identical shade of green as her own, they held a new mischievous gleam that hereyes never had. "Potter?" she breathed. "B-but why? How did you manage a polyjuice potion? And where did you get a lock of my hair? That potion is extremely difficult, and the recipe is in the restricted—"

"Don't you get it, Evans?" he snapped. He pressed his fingers against the bridge of his nose. "I didn't brew a damn polyjuice potion!"

"But that's impossible," protested Lily. "Because the only other way you could be me is probably if…" She trailed off as she lifted her hands and gestured between the two of them, then pointed her index fingers in opposite directions. Her brow furrowed deeper the more her brain worked through what James was saying. She looked frantic as she tried and failed to come up with a different likely explanation than the one that was becoming more and more obvious.

James firmly grabbed her shoulders and steered her to the mirror, confirming Lily's worst nightmare. "Welcome to hell," he stated grimly.

Lily's eyes, or rather, James's eyes widened in terror. She opened and closed her mouth silently as she tried to say something. And she saw the boy in the reflection open and close his jaw in time with her. Lifting her hands she ran them over her face and watched, horrified, as once again the image copied her movements exactly.

"I-I'm…! I don't believe it. I mean…shit!"

James propelled his hands one over the other, encouraging her to finish her sentences. "Yes, now you understand my distress, Evans!"

"Holy shit…" she said again. "This can't be happening. This just cannot be happening!" Lily ran a hand through the black mop that was attached to her scalp, grasping it and tugging it upward. It was so much shorter than she'd ever been accustomed to, and that was only the beginning of her problems. "My hair…your hair…what did you do to us?" she questioned, rounding on him furiously.

"Not so speechless now, are we?"

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?" she yelled again.

"I didn't do anything!"

"You must have done something."

"Can't you just go five minutes without accusing me of anything? If you haven't noticed, we have a crisis to deal with here, Evans!"

"Oh, I've noticed, Potter, that's exactly why I'm accusing you!"

James crossed his arms and clenched his jaw angrily, glowering down at his feet. His eyes, however, then caught sight of his new anatomical addition that he couldn't help take note of. He poked at his new bust curiously. "So that's what it feels like to carry these around," he said in awe. "Wait 'til I tell Sirius!"

Lily sharply slapped his hand away from examining his new anatomy further. "Stop that!" she hissed. "While you are in my body, you will not touch anything you don't usually have, nor will you see it naked. Understand?"

"How do expect me to get dressed?"

"Ugh, I don't know," she sighed irritably. "I'll think of something. But we need to go, now. We'll stop at the dorm and grab what we need, then we have to go to Professor Dumbledore and ask him to sort out this problem."

"Now? We've got class!"

"No, Potter, what we've got is an emergency—I am not going anywhere until I have my body back! What is wrong with you that you would even thinkof class at a time like this, are you completely out of your senses?!"

James grinned and stifled a laugh. "No, but I am out of my—" He stopped short when Lily pressed her lips together and looked at him murderously. As far as she was concerned the seriousness of the predicament made any sort of joke at its expense highly inappropriate, no matter how well place the punch line might be. "Well, I suppose it's too soon, huh?" James offered lightly, scratching his chin.

In reply Lily tucked her bottom lip behind her teeth and shook her head tensely, looking at the ceiling as though she willed something from above to strike the boy down.

James nodded his head and answered his own question. "Yeah. It's too soon."

Lily just continued to shake her head disbelievingly and walked around James to reach the bathroom door, cursing him darkly under her breath as she yanked it open. "Bollocks, of all the possible people in Hogwarts I'm stuck in this situation with the damn wise-ass comedian of Gryffindor Tower…unbelievable, this is just my luck…"

James pursed his lips and twisted them to the side, striding after her as he forced himself to hold his tongue. If I'm going to put up with her blabbing until we're out of this nightmare, he thought grimly, perhaps I should learn to choose my battles better since I'm stuck in her presence far past my usual limit.

Since sealing themselves in the prefect's bathroom the Common Room had transformed from a lethargic, sleep-addled ambiance to a bustling flurry of students preparing for their classes of the morning. Some were shrugging robes on and straightening their ties, others were seated and hunched over trying to scribble last minute homework. Parker was quickly darting down the steps and toward them, knotting her tie and tucking it neatly into her v-neck sweater as she made haste.

"Where have you been, Lily!" she exclaimed, throwing a stern look over her shoulder. "I was looking for you, you have my good quill and I need it to finish my chart for Divination before this afternoon."

James opened his mouth to answer in Lily's place, but Lily interrupted and spoke first. "I can get your quill back and all but Parker, but I really need your help! Something really strange is going on—"

"Will you shut it, Potter?" interrupted James. He did such a good imitation of Lily that it stopped her cold midsentence. He paused a moment before grinning at her evilly. "You and I know I would never let you touch her belongings, you'd probably make a weapon out of it as a prank!"

Parker tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at Lily. "James, you'd better not have touched that quill or you find a way to replace it before the day's end."

"I'm sorry, Parker, I'll get your quill back, it's just with my stuff upstairs. But right now, we have to go see the headmaster about this problem we're having, because let me tell you, it truly is a right clusterfu—"

"Just Lily I going about some routine prefect business," James cut in smoothly. "Extremely secret, if you know what I mean, Parker. And I may not be able to get you your special quill, but you shall have a quill, as soon as our business is done. Best get to breakfast—it's the most important meal, you know."

Parker stared between the two, bewildered at their behavior, before a prickled expression took over her face. "Whatever," she said irritably, waving her hand. "I need to go. Lily, I have another quill, but please return mine before long today, it writes the neatest." Having had her say, she scurried off and out the exit.

"Why did you stop me?" Lily asked James angrily. "I was about to tell her what was going on; she would have helped!"

"Evans," said James in a low voice. His eyes darted around them to make sure no one was standing near enough to hear his words. "Do you really think she would believe us? You'd be thought barmy! They'd drag you off to St. Mungo's and there goes our chances of getting back into our own bodies. And best case scenario, I would be the laughing-stock of Hogwarts for being transformed into a girl's body! And what's wrong with this thing? I am not at all used to such height deficiencies!" He stood up on tiptoes and attempted to meet Lily's face at an equal level, coming nowhere close.

"I'll have to be stuck in therapy for life just to try and erase this complete catastrophe from my memory and it is all because of you!"

"It is not!"

Lily noted that his voice had risen to a high pitch just like she did when she was upset. He was already adjusting to his new body and intonations—they needed to figure a way out of this immediately.

"When will you get it into your thick head?" James hissed at her. "I didn't do anything!"

"Yeah, right, and I'm Merlin reincarnated."

"NICE TO MEET YOU MERLIN, I'M VERY FOND OF YOUR WORK!"

A loud thwap sounded from below near the fire as a cross seventh year slammed his textbook shut, glowering at the bickering Gryffindors. "Oy, shut it! D'you mind saving it until it's later in the day?"

His words were rude but as far as the student knew, typical Lily Evans would have acknowledged her part in disrupting the quiet atmosphere of the morning. Lily was known to make it a priority to remain as considerate as possible for others in the room. Most especially if they were studying, as she herself hated to be disrupted by noise made by inconsiderate individuals. Despite the delivery she would have apologized and lowered her voice.

But then again, this was not a typical day and James far from typical Lily.

"Why don't you stuff it and mind your own business, Winters?" he retorted.

The boy he addressed looked slightly startled at the unexpected response.

"Pot—I mean, Evans," intoned Lily through clenched teeth. "Don't yell at him, we're the ones who are being so loud while he's studying."

"I don't need you to jump to my rescue, Potter," Winters spat at her.

Lily glowered at him dangerously. "Excuse me? I wasn't trying to 'jump to your rescue', as you so kindly put it. I was only trying shut him—I mean, her up so she wouldn't disturb the other students. "

Winters stood to his feet, thrust his books writing materials into his bookbag haphazardly, and slung it over his shoulder. "Well, next time don't bother," he told Lily crossly. "Next time, just follow your own advice."

Without another word, Winters stomped passed them and out into the hallway.

"Well! What's his problem?"

James just studied his nails carelessly. "Alex Winters has hated me ever since he caught me snogging his girlfriend last year. I tried to tell him that she tripped and fell on my mouth but he just wasn't hearing it. He broke up with her on the spot."

Lily smacked him on the shoulder with the back of her hand and, being unaccustomed to her new strength, caused quite a bit of pain to James's new smaller frame.

"Ouch! Could you maybe not?!"

"You were the one who broke them up? Potter, those two had been going out since fourth year! And you had to go after her when you knew she was taken! Alison must have been heartbroken."

James snorted and rubbed his new shoulder. "She didn't seem so heartbroken later that night in the astronomy tower," he countered. "I'll tell you, if every girl kisses like she does with a broken heart, I'll be willing to the rebound every time."

"Oh, of course you are!" She renewed the grip around his wrist from before and moved to make her way down the stairs. "Forget our belongings, we'll get them later. We aren't waiting a second longer, we're going to Dumbledore now; I am getting my body back before first period. I thought I couldn't stand listening to you talk before, but, Merlin! I was so wrong!"

When she was almost at the Fat Lady's portrait, Lily halted and turned to look at her body James commanded. It was still in yesterday's wrinkled clothes, and her hair was a mess. "Wait a minute, what am I thinking? I can't let you walk around the school in my body looking like that."

James looked down at himself and except for the obvious, didn't see anything wrong. "Like what?" he asked.

"I'm wearing yesterday's dirty clothes. And I have to brush my hair!" Lily reached out and ran a hand through her red hair but James swatted it away irritably.

"Oh, who cares? Girls worry about the stupidest things. Hair? At a time like this? Honestly."

"Oh, what do you do?" said Lily sourly, folding her arms. "Just get out of bed and get dressed with zero effort?"

"Yeah," he said unabashedly. "What else would I do? Unlike with you, it really doesn't take much for me to look good."

Lily rolled he eyes, and much to James's horror, put her on her hips. "Well, that explains a lot Potter."

"Don't stand like that! It makes me look like a girl!"

"I am a girl!"

"Not right now, so man up!"

"I-you…! You know what? We don't have time for this! I am not going to waste my time arguing with you." She was about to run into her dorm but James held her back. "What?" she demanded.

"Did you happen to think about how it would look if a boy went into the girls' dorm while they were getting dressed for the day?" he pointed out. "Let me tell you they would not be happy." He grinned brightly and walked to the door. "Better let me do it."

"Absolutely not!" said Lily, blocking his way to the staircase.

"It's either that or I walk around like this. You make the choice, I really don't care."

Lily sighed and after a moment's consideration relented. "Fine. Hurry the hell up though, don't linger. Don't touch my stuff; you'll see a brush next to my bed. And otherwise you keep your eyes glued to the floor. Glued!" she emphasized, pointing menacingly.

James appeared thoroughly irritated after having been bossed around but he held back any brewing retort. Lily watched him dart up the steps and exhaled loudly, then covered half of her face with her hand as she tried prepare for the day. If I had just had that bloody book and been prepared, none of this would have happened!

As she berated herself for her bad decision she felt a tap on her shoulder, and when she opened her eyes she saw Sirius and Remus looking at her questionably.

"Hey, Prongs," greeted Sirius cheerfully. "What are you doing up so soon? Usually we have to literally drag your lazy arse out of bed."

Lily jerked her chin up toward the girl's dorm and scowled. "I'm waiting on Evans. We have to go sort something out with Dumbledore, but clearly, only I know the meaning of 'move quickly'. "

"What's going on?" Remus asked.

I'm trapped in Hell. "It's a really long story."

James came bounding down the steps. The uniform he wore was still wrinkled although less so, as though he'd smoothed his hands down the front of his shirt and jumper to make it lay flat. He'd at least attempted to brush his new red locks, albeit quickly, and Lily knew that was all she could really hope to get.

"It took you long enough!" Lily snapped at him as he drew near."

"Relax. I look presentable, can we go now?"

Sirius walked over to him and slung an arm around his shoulder. "Ah, but my precious flower," he said dramatically. "You always look presentable and more." He leaned in to kiss James on the cheek but James quickly intercepted with his palm, using it to stonewall the impending lips.

"Um, let's not," he deadpanned. He gave a slight shove to Sirius's face, who just laughed as his head ricocheted away from James's hand.

"Lily, you hurt me."

"Yeah," said the real one, responding in James's place. "I think you'll live though."

Sirius turned to her and snorted, "Like you would have any better luck, Prongs."

At the same time, Lily and James made faces.

"Nasty!" said James. "I could do much better than that."

"Piss off, I could do much better than you, too!"

Remus stepped between them and held up his hands, wanting to break up a potential argument. "Enough," he told them. We have class in about half an hour and we still have to go down to eat. Oh, right—you have to go see Dumbledore. You two sure it can't wait until later during lunch or after class?"

"We shouldn't be late," James deflected, grinning slyly. He grabbed Lily and started toward the exit, saluting his two friends from behind with two fingers raised. "Be seeing you, Padfoot, Moony!"

When they left the room, Sirius turned Remus, thoroughly confused. "Did she just call us what I think she just called us?" he asked. Remus nodded his head, still staring at the portrait door.

"Yeah," he said faintly. "She did. Is it just me, or is something strange going on?"

"I don't know," said Sirius shrugging. "They must be tired or something. C'mon, let's go eat. Peter's already down there."

X

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X

They hadn't gone far before James was almost ready to rip off his own ears during the repetitious tirade Lily was in the middle of.

Again.

"So now we'll miss class as a result of this absolute disaster you've put us in," she grumped.

"Yes, of course, because obviously the sign that we're both involved clearly means it had nothing to do with you at all. You're too busy nagging me to death that you flat out ignore reality."

"Which is?"

"I wasn't the only one out of bed!"

They'd stopped walking completely by now, far too caught up in their heated words to continue their way to Dumbledore's office. Mutual needling at one another combined with the stress of the situation sinking in caused tempers flare until they finally reach their peaks.

"It was for school related purposes!" Lily defended.

"Yes, and I was hungry. My reasons were based on survival-related purposes, so you're right, it is different; but I, unlike you, choose to focus on the bigger issue here, which is that there is a reason that we-e-e—" He gestured back and forth between them vigorously as he drew out the word. "—are in this to-ge-ther. It takes two people to switch bodies, Evans, so stop blaming it all on me!"

"No! Every time I get into something it somehow is connected to something you do! I've had detentions up to here and—!"

"Oh, I know you're not about to put those on me—no one forces you to retaliate, you know!"

"Retaliate, Potter, is just another term for self-defense; so yes, I am about to—"

"Blessed Merlin, let me just cut you off right now before you drudge up something entirely different to pin on me!" James groaned and sealed his ears off with his palms, closing his eyes as though to keep Lily's impending lecture as far away as possible. "I swear, Evans, if you put even half the energy into coming up with a solution—but no! All you do is bitch, and bitch, and bloody bitch…"

"Ahem."

Lily and James stopped abruptly at the soft but stern prompt. They turned around to see the headmaster staring down at them over his classes. Looking at them curiously, he appeared half amused, half confused.

"Hi, Headmaster," Lily began delicately. "We were actually just about to come see you. Um…sorry for all of the commotion, but we have a problem."

"You'll have to forgive me when I say this, Mr. Potter, but I don't yet see how that is out of the ordinary."

"No sir," said James. "We mean it's worse than usual."

Dumbledore nodded. "Ah," he said simply. "What seems to be the problem, Ms. Evans?"

Lily raised her hand sheepishly. "Erm…I'm over here."

Professor Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and looked at her curiously, before slowly turning his head to look over at James. "And that would make you…"

"James, sir."

Dumbledore knitted his eyebrows deeper as he started to comprehend what he was hearing. His eyes darted back and forth between the two teenagers before he heaved a great sigh. "Well, I hope you'll both forgive this momentary informality, but 'bloody hell' doesn't quite do this justice. Why don't you two follow me, and we can sort this out."

Lily and James exchanged glances and trailed after the man the remaining distance to his office. After speaking his password to the gargoyle, Professor Dumbledore ushered them inside and wordlessly invited them to sit down in the seats provided. He walked around the mammoth desk in the middle of the room, eased himself into his chair, and popped a lemon drop into his mouth.

"So," he said cheerfully, clapping his hands together. "What a spectacular conundrum. Do you know how this happened?"

"No sir, I just woke up and I was in her body."

"Same here," Lily agreed.

"You don't remember anything unusual happening yesterday?"

James shook his head, but Lily seemed to be thinking. She bit the tip of her forefinger and drummed the rest of her digits on her chin. "Wait a minute…" she murmured. "Peeves."

"What?" asked James.

"Peeves, Potter. Peeves!"

"Yeah, and…?"

"Last night, remember? He came up to us and started to sing that song. I knew there was something strange about it!"

"Care to elaborate, Mr…Ms. Evans?" Dumbledore interjected.

"You see sir, last night Potter was…"

James threw her a sharp look.

"Well…you see, we were both—"

Professor Dumbledore grinned slightly with a twinkle in his eye. "Out of bed after hours," he finished for her.

"Uh, yes sir. Oh, but not together," Lily added hurriedly.

James scoffed and slouched into his chair, folding his arms and scowling. "In your dreams, Evans," he muttered.

"Not even in my worst nightmares, Potter!" she spat. Dumbledore cleared his throat again to draw Lily back on topic. "Sorry, Professor. But we were waiting outside the portrait because the Fat Lady wasn't there to let us in. So we…sort of got into a bit of a row. Then Peeves interrupted us and started sing this song."

"A song?"

"Yeah," James joined in. "If you could call it that. How did it go again, Evans?"

Lily scrunched up her face in concentration. "It was something like…'who loath and detest'…then something about striding on a path and spirits. I'm sorry, I can't remember the rest."

"That's quite alright, Ms. Evans," said Professor Dumbledore. He pressed his fingertips together and bowed his head, thinking. "I believe I know what spell Peeves used. Although how he learned it, I have no explanation."

"Spell?" Lily and James questioned together.

"Indeed. That was no song. Take these two souls who now loath, who detest; a walk in the other's own boots they shall test. On a path not familiar, yet judge, let them stride. Until true peace calms their hearts, these switched spirits abide. What he said is in fact an old spell that was created a few centuries ago."

Lily turned to James and glared at him. "I told you it was something weird," she hissed. "But you just thought it was some song Peeves made up!"

"Evans, shut up just for once. Let Dumbledore talk!"

Ignoring the interruption, Dumbledore continued. "It was created by a witch of the seventeenth century by the name of Alberta Hamilton. She was highly skilled in spell creation, which even for our kind is a powerful and unusual ability given only to a very small number of folk. From what I understand of the history, Alberta's two children were always quarreled so terribly that they brought much strife in the home. One day when she was at her wits end, she wrote the spell and said it over her children during one of their many disputes. The next day they woke up as one another. After they switched back, they were closer than ever."

"That's great, Professor," said James dryly. "Very heartwarming. But exactly how long did it take for things to be fuzzily, happily ever after and back to normal?"

"It is said that they two were back to themselves within a fortnight."

"A FORTNIGHT!" Lily and James cried in unison.

"It varies with the level of discord between the two subjects involved. That being the case, for you, Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans, I believe it could take closer to a month. Or longer."

"A MONTH!"

"Or longer," Dumbledore reiterated.

Immediately panicked reactions filled the room as Lily and James talked loudly over one another, each one providing reasons they couldn't stay switched as though they could bargain their way out of their predicament and into their rightful places.

"We can't be stuck like this for a whole month!"

"Professor, I can't be her for a month! I've got a Quidditch game on Saturday!"

"I've got a date on Friday; I can't show up as him!"

"No you bloody well can't!" James bit at her indignantly. "Do you have any idea what that would do to my reputation?"

Lily's lips formed a sweet smile that did not reach her eyes. "Improve it?" she suggested.

"I am howling on the inside, really I am," he replied sourly. "Nice to see you have some shadow of humor in that black soul; and here I was thinking that you didn't even know how to laugh. I'm shocked you didn't just choke on that funny you made."

"You do not want say the word 'choke' around me right now—it's been hard enough not to wring your damn neck these past six years and hearing the word is far too tempting."

"Oh, two jokes!" he barbed. "Don't hurt yourself, Evans."

Lily snatched her wand off the desk and gripped it tightly. "Oh, trust me, if I weren't sitting in the Headmaster's office, I'd have your 'hurt' right here!"

Dumbledore just took another lemon drop into his mouth as James retorted angrily, making no attempt to interfere. They're going to have to learn to get along during this disaster, he thought wryly. They might as well have it out now. He busied himself by tidying up his desk. Straightening a stack of parchment here and aligning a few quills there, his ears stayed trained on the furious dialogue playing out in front of him.

"You're always screwing around," Lily was saying hotly. With her eyes bright and her body tense, she was anger personified as she railed on James. "Always getting me into trouble just when things are going well for me! Last year you landed me into detention five times in three months just when I had been made a prefect! I'm still earning back all the points I've lost over the years and it's always because of something to do with you! You're an immature and arrogant son of a—"

"Shove it, Evans," he interjected sharply. His cavalier attitude from before was gone, replaced by flared nostrils and clenched teeth after listening to Lily's countless complaints and blame for longer than he could handle. "Stop playing the damn innocent card. You landed your arse here all by yourself and I am so sick and tired of you acting like you're the victim all the time! You think I'm arrogant? You're just a bossy, annoying, high and mighty hypocrite that walks around barking, 'rules, rules, rules' with every damn breath you take, like you're a bloody Minister of Magic in training—"

"You can sod off, Potter!"

"Language, Ms. Evans," Professor Dumbledore warned gently.

"Sorry Professor, you're right; that was completely out of line. Go to hell, Potter!"

"Considering I'm in your body believe me when I say that I'm already here, but I'm sure you'll be down there to welcome me in round two!"

Deciding their words were no longer conducive to the problem-solving, Professor Dumbledore stopped the yelling with a raised hand. Lily snapped her mouth shut and turned away from James, breathing rapidly though her nose while the side of James's mouth lifted into a sneer as he turned his head the opposite direction.

"Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans," Dumbledore addressed firmly. "There is only one way for you to return to your bodies and that is to understand one another."

"Like that's ever going to happen," James said under his breath.

"Mr. Potter, it is the only way. It is entirely up to you how long you and Ms. Evans are in each other's bodies."

Lily groaned. "But professor, how the hell are we going to navigate this?" she implored. "We aren't two bickering siblings who share a room—I don't want to sleep in the boys' dorm. And how are we going to change clothes?"

At this question, James's usual cheek returned. "If you wanted to see me naked, Evans, all you had to do was ask. No need to put us through this whole switching of souls nonsense."

Lily turned quite red and lowered her eyes to the carpet, mumbling something unintelligible about James being a pervert.

"There is a simple spell for that," Dumbledore offered. "Simply point your wand and say vestus, you will be in clean clothes or pajamas. Handy little spell when supreme laziness sets in, although only minimally useful as there is little to no variety in the outfit once the spell has been cast once." He glanced at his clock. "Your classes for the day begin in fifteen minutes. You have just enough time to go and eat a quick breakfast."

Lily and James gaped bewilderedly. Surely, he didn't expect them to continue as usual so quickly?

"But Professor—!"

"I don't think this will—"

"If you don't leave now I don't think you'll have time to eat," interrupted Dumbledore, smiling at them. He fluttered his hands toward the exit. "Run along, now."

After a moment, James and Lily had no choice but to gather their things and reluctantly shuffle out together. Once in the hall they both looked uncertainly over their shoulders at Professor Dumbledore, who just returned their questioning looks with a steady gaze as the door slowly swung closed and shut them out. Formally and officially excused to start their day, they could not hear the wise man utter softly, "Well done, Peeves. Well done."

X

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X

The confused pair stared at the gargoyle that had sprung back into place after the door closed. It was clear that they now had no choice but to move along.

"Right," Lily finally said. "Well that certainly helped a lot. Vestus!" A clean uniform quickly replaced James's striped pajamas. "Huh. Handy, that. Why didn't I know about this before?" She looked at James, waiting for him to change into a uniform. But James was just staring down at her body, and his expression was changing from confusion to horror. "What is it?" Lily asked impatiently. "Do you want to get to breakfast or not?"

"I just realized," James said in a hushed voice. "I have to wear a…"

"A what?"

He lowered his voice even more as though revealing a terrible secret. "A skirt."

Lily rolled her eyes and snorted. "Oh, please. I suppose you've never worn a kilt." She flicked her wand at him and he was instantly wearing her Hogwarts uniform, complete with the tidy pleated skirt he dreaded. "Come on. I'm hungry." She turned on her heel and briskly walked with James trailing behind her, desperately pulling the skirt down in a vain attempt to cover the exposed legs that he was so used to keeping hidden.

"I don't know how girls stand these things," he grumbled. "I'm cold! Has the castle always been this freezing?"

"It's just like wearing shorts, Potter."

"Not when you have a breeze blowing around in new places! This is just so…awkward. It feels intrusive!"

"Well, you'd better get used it."

James grumbled quietly as they walked toward the Great Hall, while Lily remained lost in her own thoughts about how this disastrous day was about to proceed. When they neared the doors they were joined in step by a brunette student who, although could be considered a looker, wore far too much makeup on her face than was considered wise.

"Hi, James," she said flirtatiously to Lily as she walked beside her.

Lily looked at James uncertainly. "Um, hi,"

The girl giggled nervously and had the audacity to bat her eyelashes, much to Lily's disgust.

"Hi," she said again. "Look, I was just wondering, why don't you walk me to class again?"

Pitiful, Lily thought, trying very hard not to roll her eyes. "Well, right now I'm going to eat breakfast," she said. "You shouldn't be late to your class." She awkwardly tried to dismiss her with a shooing motion with her hands but unfortunately for Lily, the girl was not bothered.

"That's alright," she said cheerfully. "I can wait for you."

Lily looked at James for help, but he just shrugged. "Don't look at me," he said, chuckling softly. "You're James Potter, remember?"

Lily glared at him and turned back to the girl who was eagerly waiting for her to reply to her proposition. "Actually, I don't think we have the same classes."

"That didn't seem to matter much last week. You sure taught me a lesson in the abandoned classroom during first period. Want to go back with me for a…tutorial session?" She moved closer to Lily and raised her eyebrows suggestively. Lily whipped around to James and mouthed "tutorial session?" He just shrugged again and tried to suppress a laugh.

"James?" the girl prompted.

"Um…Look…uh, what's your name again?"

The girl pouted, looking slightly hurt. "Chelsea!"

"Right, Chelsea," Lily said quickly. "I knew that. Listen, I just don't think we're going to work out."

Chelsea's jaw dropped open. "But…" she stuttered. "But you told me I had nice eyes!"

"There are a lot of people who have nice eyes," Lily explained simply.

"You said I was special!"

"I'm sure it's nothing new I've said."

"You said I was a good kisser!" Chelsea wailed loudly.

Lily had had enough of this whining. She lost her sympathy and decided to be honest. "Look," she said firmly. "Chelsea is your name, right? Here is a piece of advice: get a life. This is not the end of the world Jam—I'm not all that great. I tell any girl who has lips that she's a good kisser just to get her in the closet, I never date a girl for more than a week, I—" James elbowed her sharply in the ribs, effectively cutting her off.

"I think she gets it, Potter," he said, glowering at her.

"The point is," continued Lily, rubbing her side. "You don't even deserve me. You can do much better. I heard Matt Carter has liked you since fourth year. Why don't you invite him into a closet?"

Chelsea sighed loudly. "Fine," she said dramatically. "Fine by me. Take Lily Evans into the some other classroom, and see if I care."

Lily and James both stared at her in shock.

"You thought I meant—you think I want to…" sputtered Lily, pointing to James. "Oh no-no-no, you have the wrong idea completely—"

James was just as appalled. You really think I would want to invite he…that into a closet? To snog? Are you mental? I'd rather go in there with a boggart!"

"You think I'm that stupid to believe those lies?" Chelsea asked, scandalized. She made no effort to keep her voice down and the students that were milling about nearby had begun to stare.

"Yes!" cried Lily and James together.

Chelsea glared at James in Lily's body for a moment, but her expression softened when she looked at Lily.

"I'm sorry if I did something to upset you, James," she said kindly, as if she had forgotten everything Lily said. "I hope we can get together again sometime. And as for you," She turned to Lily, and her voice was suddenly cold. "You won't last long at all." Without another word, she turned on her heel and stalked down the hall to a group of eager girls who attacked her for details. The students in the hallway looked at Lily and James in complete silence. They knew that any idea of Lily and James kissing in a closet, or anywhere for that matter, was ridiculous. But after Chelsea had given such a show, they wanted to see what happened next. Lily looked back at them all menacingly.

"WHAT?" she yelled. At the same time everyone scattered and went on with their business, talking in low voices about what had just taken place. Lily sighed and glanced at her watch.

"Damn," she muttered. "We're too late. We have to go to Transfiguration now, and we still have to get our stuff."

James snorted and started to descend the steps down to the first floor, where the Transfiguration classroom was located. "Are you completely blind, Potter? I can't see a thing!"

"That's why I wear glasses, Evans. I thought you knew by now that they weren't just for good looks, although they certainly add to the effect."

Lily rolled her eyes, held out her wand and cried, "ACCIO GLASSES!" A minute later, James's glasses came soaring into her hands. When she put them on, everything was finally clear. She proceeded to summon her book bag and James's as well. She handed him the one with her name on it.

"Hey! This is your book bag, Evans!"

"Yeah, and you are Lily Evans which is why you will be carrying Lily Evans's book bag!" she hissed.

"Fine, just give my essay so I can turn it in as mine and not yours."

"No," Lily said flatly.

"Evans! Give it!"

"No," she repeated. "You aren't going to win this one, Potter. Besides, how would it look if Lily Evans handed in James Potter's homework, anyway? McGonagall would never accept it. She would probably think I did something to it."

James raised his eyebrows."Wonder why," he mumbled.

"Look, I promise I'll turn it in as yours, alright?"

"I don't trust you as far as I can throw you."

"Well you'll have to since I'm taller than you. I can just hold it above your head!"

James just glared at her, knowing that she had him. They were quiet as they shuffled to the classroom. Then there was a low grumble that came from Lily's stomach and James laughed softly.

"You know, you wouldn't be hungry if you had shaken her off sooner," he said to Lily.

"Look, Potter, I'm sorry I was so mean to your girlfriend, but—"

"Girlfriend?" James repeated disbelievingly. "Girlfriend? Chelsea Galloway, my girlfriend?"

"Or…whatever. Anyway, I suppose I shouldn't have been so rough with her."

"Why not?"

"What do you mean 'why not'?" Lily gave him a look. "Is that what you say every time you 'break up' with a girl?"

James bit his lip thoughtfully. "More or less, yeah," he said carelessly.

"That is so like you! You must break a ton of hearts every week!"

James gave her a smug look.

"That's not what I meant, Potter! It wasn't a compliment. That's terrible that you talk that way to them, after you sweet talk them and make them think you're head over heels for them. You know how much they like you, and you should be nicer!"

"Sirius does it too!" he said defensively. "Besides, you saw how hard it was to make her go away. Try dealing with that all the time, Evans."

"Oh, the agony," she said dryly.

"No, I'm serious! Nothing else works. Honestly, kiss a girl for a minute or twenty and she thinks she's your damn wife."

"Imagine that," Lily said. "Why in the world would someone think you actually fancy them after tell them how special they are."

"Exactly," he said, not picking up on her sarcasm.

"Just one question, Potter. Why say all that stuff if all you want to do is make out?"

James shrugged. "Boredom."

Lily stopped in her tracks and fixed him with a look. "And, even after you say all that crap and make them cry, they still think you're the most attractive and sweetest guy in school. I have yet to figure out why and how."

"'Tis a gift," James said, smiling at her.

"Gift my arse," she muttered.

Just to piss her off, James twisted around to take a look at his new rear end. "And a very nice one, too," he murmured.

Lily was too shocked to say anything, so she hit him with a book.

"Ouch!" he cried. "Just remember, Evans. This is your body and it will be you who has the bruises afterward."

"It's worth it," she said shortly.

James only smirked at her. "Oh come on," he said as he entered the classroom. "Don't lie, you know you liked it."

Lily slid into his seat and looked away, trying to hide the blush that was creeping reluctantly into her cheeks. "In your dreams!"

"Evans, you're blushing."

"No, I'm not!" she said quickly.

James just raised an eyebrow at her. "Evans, you're in my body," he said skeptically. "I think I would know when my cheeks blush, and they're starting to blush."

"Hey, James," a female voice interrupted.

Praying that it wasn't one of his groupies, Lily reluctantly turned around, very happy to see that it was Kate.

"Kate," she said happily. "I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to talk to you, but—"

"What do you mean?" she said, bewildered. "We never—and why are you sitting with…? Oh, nevermind. Anyway, could you please hurry it up with Parker's quill? She asked me to remind you to try to find it again, although why you have it I have no clue. Lily," she addressed James. "You would never have leant him anything so I'm pretty surprised at you."

"Merlin, again with the quill," Lily groaned. "I have so many more important things than that right now, you have no idea."

"I know, I know," Kate empathized. "But it's just how she is, she latches onto an idea and doesn't let it go to easily. Just, make it easier on my nerves and return it to her as soon as possible."

"Bloody hell," James said to her. "Does that thing write with liquid gold or something?"

"No, it's just her favorite thing to write with. Don't ask, you won't understand it."

Lily was about to agree about Parker's obsessive nature, but out of the corner of her eye she spotted the handsome face that she'd been noticing for months. Derek Thomas, the boy she had plans with that weekend, had just come into the classroom. He stopped to chat with someone sitting near the door. As he talked, his eyes flickered over toward James and he tipped his head subtly in a silent greeting without breaking the conversation. Wrapping things up, he clapped the other boy on the shoulder before raising his hand to James and making his way over, weaving through the multiple desks. His features had broken out into a striking and heart-stopping smile.

Lily gulped and her heart felt like it had plunged to her stomach. Being on the receiving end of that smile ordinarily made her day.

So far, things had been very, very far from ordinary.

"Oh shit!" she squeaked, managing to keep her voice down. "Oh, no!"

"What's wrong?" Kate queried, turning her head in the direction of Lily's wide eyes.

Lily whipped her head around. "What's wrong is that my day is about to get ten thousand times worse!"

Kate knitted her eyebrows together, confused at seeing such an unprovoked reaction from someone whom she believed to be at such ease. "Okay, well, good luck with that," she offered unhelpfully, before returning to her seat.

"Ten thousand times worse? How is that even possible at this point?" James mused, leaning his cheek lazily onto his hand.

Lily leaped out of her seat and knelt in front of him.

"Okay, Potter," she said, speaking rapidly, glancing back at Derek. He had stopped to talk to yet another student and Lily counted her lucky stars that he was so social. "Just listen, don't talk. The guy coming up to you right now is Derek Thomas. He finally asked me out a few days ago and I'm supposed to go out with him on Friday."

"And I should care because…?"

"Because you are in my body right now and you need to cancel! I've liked him for a really long time and nothing can go wrong on that date. Nothing! You have to cancel that date with him until we switch back!"

James smirked at her. "If I do what you're telling me, what I do I get?"

"This is not the time, Potter!" she answered furiously.

James looked completely unaffected by her threat. "Fine, Evans," he said softly. "Don't you worry your pretty little head about anything. I'll take care of it."

"Thanks," she sighed. She brushed a few loose strands of her red hair around his ear and straightened his collar. "Okay, hair fine, sweater fine…alright you're ready."

James rolled his eyes and hooked a finger into his collar, tugging few times. Lily quickly hopped back into her seat just as Derek appeared at her side.

"Hey Potter," he said casually.

"Hi Derek," she said a bit breathlessly. James kicked her sharply in the ankle and mouthed, "Stop that!" Lily nodded and cleared her throat. "I mean…uh, hey what's up?" she said gruffly. She saw James sigh and hang his head at her behavior. Apparently that wasn't how she was supposed to say it but James was lucky she'd been able to force out a complete sentence with the pressure she felt.

"Nothing much," replied Derek. "Ready for that quidditch game on Saturday?"

Lily nodded slightly. "Uh, sure..."

"You've been awesome this season, hope you keep up the good work." He flashed her another smile.

"Keeping it up," she parroted . "Yep, definitely."

Derek turned to James and bent down so that he was eye level with him.

"Hey, Lily," he murmured to James

Lily fumed with jealousy, even thought he was saying that to the person who he assumed was her. That should be me, she thought sullenly.

James didn't consider himself so lucky. He wrinkled his nose and drew back. "Yeah, what's up," he mumbled. It was Lily's turn to kick him in the ankle. James turned to her angrily and she whispered, "Be nice!"

"Are you alright?" Derek asked.

That's so sweet of him to be worried! thought Lily.

"Um, yeah," said James, forcing a smile. "I just…had too much to eat at breakfast. You know…stomach ache." He heard Lily groan next to him. Shut up, Evans, he thought. I'm flirting with a boy for you! Oh, I can't believe I just thought that! "Um…so what's up?" Much to his disgust, Derek casually slipped an arm around his shoulder.

"Um, yeah," said James, forcing a smile. "I just had too much to eat at breakfast. You know…stomachache. Gassy gurgles and the like. So, what's up?" Much to his chagrin, Derek seemed unfazed by the digestive problems James alluded to. Instead, he casually slipped an arm around his shoulder.

"Oh, nothing much," he said lightly. "We're still on for Friday, right?"

Lily waited expectedly to hear James cancel the plans as they agreed, and raised her eyebrows when she watched James hesitate and look at his shoes. He was clearly lost in thought but Lily was at a loss of what he could possibly need time to consider. She cleared her throat softly, trying to catch his attention. When James looked her way, she gave him a threatening glare. But she was panicking on the inside, and by the tiny smile James gave her, he knew it. Cancel it, she silently pleaded. Please, cancel it!

James lifted the side of his lips into a mischievous smirk before turning back to Derek and transforming it into his most charming smile.

"Of course, sweetheart," he said merrily. "Wouldn't miss it for the world. Pick me up at seven?"