Chapter Ten

I stood on the front porch, watching quietly as Tony and Steve chopped wood in the middle of the vast fields that circled Clint's hidden home. Clint and his daughter Lila were on the other side of the porch, smiling and laughing as they played with her toys. The sight of him with his kid- his kid, I was still reeling from that- put a warm feeling in my chest that made a smile tug at my lips. When he saw me looking, Clint winked at me and I rolled my eyes before turning back to the men in the field.

The sun was still relatively low in the sky, thanks to Clint and Laura being unable to sleep in very late and waking the rest of us up to suffer an early morning with them. It didn't bother me much, seeing as I hadn't slept very well regardless.

Tony came into the guest room we would be sharing a few minutes after I had already showered and changed into clothes I had borrowed from Laura. I was pulling the sheets back on the bed when he moved to stand on the other side, watching quietly. "You gonna help me or what?" I asked, glancing up at him.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I'd like to. But I don't think I can if you don't tell me what's wrong."

I finished pulling the sheets back and mimicked his shrug. "The bed wasn't made. But now it is, so you're a little late. And now I'm going to sleep."

I knew that the bed wasn't the issue he was talking about, and he knew that I knew that. But he didn't push the subject as I climbed into the bed with my back facing him, only using the sheet itself as a blanket instead of the thick comforter that rested at my feet. I always used to be freezing during the night, but thanks to the Extremis in my system I had grown considerably warmer.

Tony joined me in the bed, his arm pressed lightly against my back. Neither of us fell asleep right away. I knew that we could both feel the tension in the air as we refused to talk about his curiosity on what I had seen that was so rattling, or my fear and hatred that was nearly impossible to stop feeling once it had started.

It was a long night.

I didn't notice that I had zoned out until I saw Laura leading Tony away from the wood pile, him turning back to point at his work and say something that made Steve roll his eyes before he followed Laura to the shed on the opposite side of the house.

After he had gone inside I turned back to Steve and saw that he was watching me now. When we made eye contact, he waved me over with the hand that wasn't holding an axe. I knew that whatever he wanted to say certainly wouldn't be good, but I also had no reason to not hear him- at least for now.

I sat on the log Tony had been using as a chopping block, leaning back on my palms and crossing one leg over the other. "What's up, Cap?"

It took him a moment to answer, and when he did it was quietly- like he wanted this conversation to remain just between the two of us. "I know that you and Tony have each other's backs," he started, glancing towards the shed before returning his gaze to me. "And I'm glad. I'm glad that you two can trust each other… But I need to know that you trust more than each other. I need to know that you trust the team, and that you trust me to lead us."

"Are you gonna give me a hug if I say I do?" I joked, raising an eyebrow and planting a smirk on my face.

Steve wasn't so amused. His frown was enough to show me that he wasn't believing my charade- that he knew I was forcing the cheer in my tone and the lightheartedness in my words. I didn't care. Forcing myself to be happy was how I coped- how I made myself actually happy. So for however long it took to recover from what the witch had done to me in Wakanda, I was going to be forcibly, furiously happy.

"I really need you to be serious right now," Steve pleaded. "This isn't a joking matter. There are lives at stake- not just ours, but innocent people's."

"There are always innocent lives at stake! But luckily for them, we're always there to stop the big baddy before they can get too many boo-boos."

"Charlie, please-"

"I trust you to be a good leader," I interrupted before he could ask me again to be serious. I didn't want to be serious. I hated being serious. Serious attitude led to serious thoughts led to dark places. I was tired of the dark places. "But I don't trust you to be a good leader by yourself. You're too logical- you never just act."

I could tell he was trying not to scoff or be angry with me when he replied. "Just acting is what got us into this mess."

"I also don't trust a man who never accepts candy when I offer it to him," I finished, ignoring his last statement. "… Maybe I don't trust you all that much, after all. You should have asked if I liked you instead. You probably would have gotten a better answer. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to enjoy a nice lunch before trying yet again to save a thankless world."

"You can't end a war before it begins," Steve warned as I stood, no longer feeling comfortable with how our conversation had gone.

"Then I suppose it's a good thing we started it," I retorted, glancing at the angry twitch on Steve's expression as I walked away. "You're welcome, Captain."

It probably wasn't a good idea to provoke him, but it was the only form of communication I thought I could handle right now. I wouldn't let his bad mood make mine worse. Happy thoughts, I said to myself over and over in my head. Happy thoughts.

When I glanced at the shed and saw Tony walking out with a familiar face following closely behind him, I actually felt a flicker of real happiness. Shoving all negativity to the back of my brain I broke into a sprint towards the barn, brushing past a very confused looking Tony as I engulfed the man in black in a tight hug with a happy shout. "Patches! I thought you were dead!"

Fury didn't return my hug, instead placing one firm hand on my shoulder with a squeeze before pulling back from the embrace. "Charlie," he greeted in his usual gruff tone. "Nice to see not everyone is upset that I'm still breathing."

One look at Tony's face was enough to tell me that he and Fury had obviously had an unpleasant conversation while I had been busy having my own with Steve. "But that's not why I'm here," Fury continued, nodding towards the house.

I saw Clint stand on the porch, wrapping his arms around his two kids and leading them back inside after spotting the three of us approaching. Fury's sudden appearance could only mean one thing- things were about to get a lot worse than they already were.

Perfect.

My sincerest apologies for taking months to update! For a while I was trying to finish up my other stories, then I simply lost motivation to write it, got caught up in new stories… It was quite a vicious cycle.

I do want to finish this story before Civil War comes out, however, so I've finally resolved to sit down and make myself write. Of course I'm still juggling schoolwork and a job, so I can't promise the updates will be as frequent as some of you might hope, but they will come.