Something is different. Aubrey can't exactly put her finger on it. But something just feels different.
Over the past month, the silences between them haven't been quite as comfortable as they used to be. There's an underlying tension. She can't figure out what's different, but it's driving her crazy.
The nights in the alcove just aren't the same. They still watch the stars together but neither one of them is really seeing the sky. It just feels like they are counting down the minutes until they can escape the awkwardness.
The diner is typically slow on Mondays and Tuesdays. This Tuesday was no exception. There was currently only one booth occupied and even that family was almost finished.
Normally the two lovebirds would fill the gaps between customers with sitting at the counter together and talking. Today, they seemed to be finding ways to occupy themselves just so they didn't have to talk to each other.
This didn't go unnoticed by Aubrey's parents and Chloe. They tried to stay out of it as best they could. No need to stick their noses into the affairs of the young couple.
But after that one family left, they did end up having to intervene.
"What the hell is your problem?" Aubrey snapped suddenly.
"I don't have a problem," Beca replied instantly.
"Obviously you do or you wouldn't be fucking avoiding me."
The other occupants of the diner watched from behind the safety of the counter, Chloe sliding behind Elaine upon noticing the look in Aubrey's eyes. She wasn't afraid of the blonde, but that look of angry intensity was one that she recognized and happy memories didn't usually follow it.
"Sounds like you're the one with the problem," Beca responded.
"What is that supposed to mean?" There was a dangerous fire burning in Aubrey's eyes.
"Maybe you're the one with the problem. Did you ever stop to think about that? No. You know what? Maybe this relationship is the problem," Beca slammed the dishes she had been clearing down onto the tabletop.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Aubrey entire demeanor crumbled.
Beca closed her eyes as she let her breath out in a dejected rush.
"I can't take this, Aubrey."
"Take what?" the blonde asked desperately.
"This. Us. It isn't me."
"What are you talking about?"
"Aubrey, you're the 'it' girl. The one everyone wants to date. The one everyone wants to be. I can't live up to that."
"I'm not asking you to."
"Not yet, but eventually you will. Aubrey, I am a nobody. Even my own aunt didn't fucking want me. I can't ask you to make yourself one too."
"You haven't. Beca, please," Aubrey pleaded. Tears were streaming down both of their faces now.
"Aubrey, my entire life I have felt like nothing. I have been belittled and degraded all because my parents died. My life sucks. And after that jerk at school, I see now that that will never change. I thought that with you things would be different. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I had found someone who could change that. Someone that could help me be something—feel like something- more than a goddamn orphan."
"Beca…" Aubrey began only to be cut off.
"No. Let me finish," the brunette turned away from the blonde's gaze. She stared at the sign above the door of the hardware store across the street. "You changed me, Aubrey. You made me feel like everything that has happened to me up to this point didn't matter. That being an orphan, that being hated by everyone, didn't matter. And I love you for that."
Beca turned to face the blonde once again. "But, that's not enough. Because what you think of me. And how I think of myself. Those are two different things. And neither one will change what they think of me," she waves her arm toward the street. Aubrey knows she means everyone else at school and in the town. "It doesn't change what I am. I am a nobody. I always have been and I always will be. I'm not going to let you be one too. I'm sorry. But it's over."
Beca rushes out of the restaurant, throwing her apron on one of the tables on her way out.
The stunned trio behind the counter snaps out of their stupor as the blonde sinks to sit in the closest booth. She sobs as her head drops into her hands. Chloe has tears pouring down her own face. Elaine rushes to sit next to her daughter and pulls her into an embrace. She rocks the girl in a soothing manner while stroking the blonde hair.
Thomas walks to the door and locks it before flipping the Open sign to Closed.
His heart is breaking for both of the girls. It breaks at the sight of his sobbing daughter. He holds no anger toward Beca. He understands why the brunette did what she did, which is exactly why his heart breaks for her as well.
Beca runs. She doesn't know where she is going. She doesn't care. She just has to get away. To outrun her breaking heart. Maybe if she runs fast enough it will just stop. Stop hurting so fucking much. Stop beating. Stop pumping the blood that is pounding in her ears. Stop killing her from the inside.
She knows it stupid. She knows she's an idiot. But she had to. Right? She couldn't do that to the blonde. Aubrey deserved better. She deserved someone who wouldn't drag her down. Someone as popular as she was. Someone who was a someone. Someone like Richard Stowe.
She runs harder at the thought. She pays no attention to the tears that fall in a constant stream. She just runs.
She finds herself in a café. It's just a little family owned café. But it reminds her so much of the diner. And god, how that fucking hurts.
Maybe that's why she sits there. To torture herself for hurting the blonde. To get what she deserves for putting that heartbroken look on Aubrey's face. That expression that is scorched into the cracks on her heart.
She hates herself for letting the first time she told Aubrey she loved her also be the last time. For saying it as she ripped both their hearts out and fucking stomped on them.
She hates herself for running. It's become a habit, part of living in the shitty mess that is the foster system. When the shit hits the fan, you run. You don't stick around because that is what gets you hurt.
She's a coward. She knows it.
She runs.
When they pulled into the driveway, Elaine helped her daughter out of the car and led the younger blonde to her bedroom. She helps the girl settle in the bed before sitting on the edge.
"She'll come around, sweetie. She loves you. And I know you love her. It will all work out."
She placed a kiss on the blonde locks before slipping out of the room. Silent tears slide from closed eyes.
By the time she makes it back to her own house, Beca is exhausted. She walks through the door to find the entire house a mess. Her foster dad was a hotheaded idiot when he was drunk. He wasn't directly abusive. Just liked to pitch tantrums and throw things. And if he happened to hit you with whatever he threw, well that was your fault for not moving.
She stepped over the shattered remnants of a broken beer bottle and walked straight past the living room where she knew the couple laid passed out. She went up to the bathroom and turned on the water.
She stripped and stepped under the cold spray. She turned her face toward the showerhead and let her hot tears slide away with the cold water.
She quickly finished in the shower and shut off the water. She wrapped a towel around her torso before heading to her bedroom. She pulled out a pair of shorts and the school-logo-emblazoned hoodie she had stolen from the blonde. She quickly donned the articles before falling face first onto the bed.
Maybe tomorrow it wouldn't hurt so fucking much.