Chapter Nine: Quidditch Practice, Take two…Three…Four…
The next morning, the gang sat at in the Great Hall eating breakfast before their classes. At least, most of them were eating. Poor Lily had tried to keep her eyes open, but instead she ended up falling asleep in her oatmeal. Quite literally, as her hand was in the bowl. Parker prodded at her carefully.
"Is he okay?" she asked worriedly. She drew her hand back quickly when Lily snorted in her sleep. "Do you think we should wake him?" James laughed softly. We had better get back to our bodies soon, he thought to himself amusedly. Being her is a piece of cake, but I don't think she can handle being me for too much longer.
"Nah," he told Parker. "Let's leave her that way. If we're lucky he'll still be asleep by the time we leave." Kate rolled her eyes.
"That's so typical of you, Lily," she said, although she was grinning. "You would leave James behind even if it meant he was at the mercy of a million dementors, and vice versa." James gasped and held a hand to his heart dramatically.
"I would never!" he cried. "That would be cruel and inhumane. I would only leave her—I mean him— behind if there were ten thousand. Any more than that would be just plain wrong." Kate just sighed and shook her head as she watched James take a bite out of his eggs.
"You two are hopeless," she said. Remus snorted.
"You're just figuring that out now?" he asked disbelievingly. "Where have you been for the last six years?"
"She's been in the dream world," replied Sirius. "The one in which Lily and James sort out their disagreements calmly and rationally like mature adults."
"Ooh," breathed Kate. "Big words, Sirius. Did it hurt?"
"No why would…? Hey!"
"Do you think Lily and James will ever get along?" mused Peter aloud.
"No," they all answered, James included.
"The day they get along," said Remus. "Is the day Sirius gets married." Sirius looked confused.
"But I thought I told you," he told Remus. "I'm not getting married because I would miss out on all of the single women, and that it would be a waste of life." Remus looked at him pointedly, and look of comprehension finally dawned on Sirius's face. "Oh," he said slowly, nodding his head. "I get it." Remus rolled his eyes.
"To this day I wonder how you passed the first year," he muttered. Sirius stuck his tongue out at him childishly. "And I don't think I'll ever know the answer," Remus added.
"Can you imagine twenty years from now," said Parker. "At our reunion, they'll still be bickering like three year olds."
"She always starts it," James said indignantly.
"Maybe they'll never grow up," she continued as if she hadn't heard.
"Excuse me," James interjected loudly. "I'm six foot three, thank you very much." Sirius snorted loudly.
"Right, Lily," he said sarcastically. "Closer to six inches three centimeters is more like it."
"One would think," said Kate. "That after six years, Lily and James would learn to live in the same building, but I suppose that's just a bit too much to expect from those two."
"Oh, thank you," James interrupted sardonically. "It's not like I'm sitting right next to you, listening to everything you say. It's not like I have feelings or anything, so don't worry."
"What was that, Lils?" joked Sirius. James scowled at him.
"In case you haven't noticed," he said grumpily. "There isn't any laughter coming from my mouth." Being the logical one, Remus was the person to calm things down.
"Chill, Lily," he said. "We're only kidding."
"Who's kidding?" Parker muttered.
"Come on, you guys," Remus continued, gathering his things. "We've gotta go to Transfiguration. I hear we're transfiguring water into candles." They all stood up and started walking out of the Great Hall. James stayed behind, looking at Lily with a very mischievous grin on his face.
Remus looked back at him and called, "Hey, Lily! Aren't you coming?"
"I'll be there in a minute," James said. "Just give me a moment to wake up Potter." Remus gave him suspicious look.
"Whatever," he said. "Just don't do anything that'll land him in the hospital wing for more than a few days, okay?" With that said, he ran to catch up with the others, leaving James alone with Lily. Biting down a laugh, he slowly got up from his seat and went over to her. This'll teach her not to wake me up, he thought gleefully.
Being careful not to breathe too loudly James bent close to her ear, ignoring the curious stares he was receiving from other people. He took a really deep breath…
"OY, POTTER!"
Big mistake.
Lily gave a loud yelp and shot up, knocking heads with James. Since her hand was still in the oatmeal bowl, she had slammed it down in surprise and caused the bowl to flip with a loud CLANK, splattering James with all of the contents.
The students around started to laugh. Lily looked frantically in every direction, and when she spotted James, she clapped a hand over her mouth. His head was covered in what used to be Lily's breakfast. It was dripping down his face, onto his shoulders, and on the floor. He was not looking happy.
Lily gave a snort of laughter, but bit her tongue. "You know, Potter," she said, barely containing her mirth. "If you wanted to know how to make a mask out of oatmeal, you could have asked me. Here's a hint." She leaned closer and whispered loudly. "You only put it on your face."
James's scowl deepened. "Not funny," he said menacingly. Lily laughed and wiped her hand on a napkin.
"You're right," she said. "It's not funny. It's hysterical. That should teach you not to wake people up so suddenly."
"That's what I was trying to teach you!" he exclaimed. Lily looked at him over his glasses (the ones on her face) and clucked her tongue.
"Tsk, tsk, Potter," she scolded playfully. "Haven't you heard of using your words?" James took a step toward her, trying to look intimidating. Since he was only about five-six at the present time, it didn't quite work.
"Oh, I'll use my words," he threatened. Lily knew very well what he meant, but she was having way too much fun to quit now.
"I accept your apology," she said promptly.
"I wasn't going to say those words," James said through clenched teeth. "What I'm thinking of involves a slightly more advanced vocabulary." Lily grinned at him, enjoying the fact that his face was becoming redder and redder by the second.
"Don't choke," she chirped. "I don't know how to perform the Heimlich maneuver." James glared at her and scooped up a handful of oatmeal out of another bowl. Just as he was pulling back his arm and taking aim, a cheerful voice sounded behind him.
"Good morning, Mr. Potter," it said. James closed his eyes for a moment and pressed his lips together. Damn, he thought ruefully. He slowly turned around and smiled.
"Good morning, Professor," he replied innocently. Professor Dumbledore grinned at him, his blue eyes twinkling.
"What were you doing with that oatmeal, Mr. Potter?" he asked curiously. James had a distinct feeling that Professor Dumbledore already knew the answer. Sure, everyone knew Dumbledore was just a bit mad, but he couldn't be that far out of his tree. "Erm…" James stammered. "I was just…taking some for the road. I like it so much I just couldn't resist it." He quickly shoved some of it in his mouth and cringed; he hated oatmeal. Lily snorted and hastily stuffed a roll in her mouth to stop herself from laughing. Professor Dumbledore chuckled softly.
"Well, Mr. Potter, if I were you, I would use a bowl. I find it most useful." James nodded, still chewing.
"Yessugh," he said thickly. Professor Dumbledore smiled again.
"A spoon might help, too. Well, I'd better be off," said Dumbledore. "I must go see Mr. Filch concerning dungbombs hidden in various places around his office. It seems to be that the multiply by fives every ten minutes." His twinkling blue eyes flickered to James for a fraction of a second, and James grinned guiltily. "You two had better be off before you are late for class." With that said, Dumbledore walked away humming something that sounding suspiciously like Peeve's song. James sighed and shook his head as he watched Dumbledore's retreating back, and then cleaned himself up with a simple Scourgify spell.
"I always knew Dumbledore was a loon," he said. Lily glared at him, wondering how he had the gall to call the headmaster crazy.
"I think he's brilliant," she said.
"Well that settles it, then," James replied, smirking at her. "If Dumbledore is your role model, no wonder you act the way you do." Lily scowled and picked up her books.
"Shut up, Potter," she retorted, walking briskly out of the Great Hall.
James grinned and hurried to catch up. "'Shut up, Potter', eh?" he repeated in amusement. "Is that all you've got? You're losing your touch, Evans. Could it be that you are finally giving into my masculine charms? Took you a while, but I suppose it's better late than never."
"Leave me alone, it's early," Lily snapped. They entered the transfiguration classroom and sat down. James was still teasing Lily about her disgraceful comeback.
"I mean really," he was saying. "'Shut up' is quite pitiful, don't you think? Had I known you weren't so quick in the morning, I would have taken advantage of that long ago. I could have pranked you—"
"You do prank me," Lily interrupted, glaring at him. James waved his hand impatiently.
"Yes, I know that," he said haughtily. "But I could have done it earlier when you wouldn't be so alert. It would have saved me so much time and trouble running away from you." He paused and added as an afterthought, "Then again, you might not retaliate. This could destroy the entire of order of my year. Because if you don't retaliate, then I can't retaliate without a good reason, and so on. I can't imagine all of the dungbombs that would be left over. I mean, where would I put them all? With all my fake wands, truth serums, and joke books hidden around, I don't think I could find the space." By now, James had been talking more to himself. He turned to Lily and said, "I'm don't suppose you would let me store a few things under your bed, would you, Evans?" Lily looked mildly surprised.
"I'm sorry," she said, acting concerned. "Were you saying something important? Because all I could hear was blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah." James was not disturbed by her comment in the least.
"Now that's more like it," he remarked, almost proudly. "Much better than just a 'shut up'. By noon you'll be back to your unpleasant, snappy, bad-tempered old self again and all shall be right in the world. Well, except for our obvious predicament. I wouldn't call a boy being trapped in a girl's body right at all. In fact, it's quite unnerving." Lily closed her eyes and rested her head in her hands, her eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. He's just figuring that out now? she thought. Well, I always knew he was a bit dim.
"Is it possible that you could just be silent for, like, five minutes?" she asked irritably.
"When I'm kissing," James offered cheerfully. "It's quite hard, if not impossible, to kiss and talk at the same time. You know how it is." He picked up a lock of the red hair on his head and studied it. "Then again, you might not." Lily narrowed her eyes at him and folded her arms.
"I'll have you know, Potter," she spat. "That I had my first kiss when I was in fourth year, not that it's any of your business." James just looked at her and grinned. It was that infuriating grin that Lily hated because it was as if he knew something she didn't. "What?" she demanded.
"I had mine in third," he said arrogantly. Lily snorted derisively and rolled her eyes
"That's so predictable of you. Of course, you would rush into it." James opened and closed his mouth in protest.
"Hey!" he exclaimed. "Is it my fault Helen Shepherd chose to maul me with her lips in the middle of the corridor?"
"I'm sure it is in one way or another," Lily said crossly. "I'll bet anything you said something stupid like, 'You have beautiful eyebrows' or something." James smirked at her and leaned back idly in his seat.
"You know, Evans," he said lazily. "I detect a certain emotion in your voice."
"Contempt?" she suggested. He shook his head and his smirk grew.
"Nah," he replied. "I was thinking…jealousy, perhaps? Then again," James continued, ignoring Lily's wild laughter. "Why wouldn't you be? Why shouldn't you be? I'm handsome, funny, humble—"
"Try repulsive, idiotic and haughty," Lily interrupted. James just shrugged his shoulder. He was quite used to Lily's "compliments" by now to be too bothered by them.
"You know," he told her. "I'm sure I could write up hundreds of names of girls who would gladly disagree." In their not-so-new bickering, Lily and James hadn't noticed McGonagall leering over them until she loudly cleared her throat.
"Potter, Evans," she said sharply. Lily jumped and her cheeks tinted pink, but James just regarded the Professor with a charming smile. "I had the most ridiculous idea in mind," continued McGonagall in an irritated tone. "I was thinking that perhaps instead of chatting away, we could start class."
"You don't say?" James said lightly. "Well, I must agree with you, Professor. That is a ridiculous idea. Almost ludicrous." By now the entire class was dead silent, watching the display between what appeared to be 'Lily' and a professor that no one dared to challenge. Lily turned to glare at him, but James either didn't see her, or acted like he didn't. Knowing him, it was most likely the latter. Damn him! her mind screamed. Professor McGonagall set her lips in a stiff line.
"Ms. Evans," she began severely. "I don't know what has gotten into you these past few days, but it had better come out." Lily gripped the edge of her desk until her knuckles turned white, silently praying that James would for once in his life stay silent.
But of course, that just couldn't happen.
"Professor," James said brightly. "I could tell you what has got into me, but if I did we would be here all day. I think that time is much better spent learning, don't you?" Lily closed her eyes and groaned. When I open my eyes, this will all be a nightmare… She slowly opened her eyes, deep down knowing that the horrid scene would not change. When Lily saw that it hadn't, she went into plan B.
She would grovel in James's defense, something that she never thought she would do.
"Erm… Professor McGonagall," she began carefully. "You'll have to forgive Lily. She…isn't quite feeling herself." Behind her, Remus and Sirius exchanged bewildered looks. "I'm sure that she's very sorry and it won't happen again." Lily threw James a sharp look that dared him to say something. He just smirked at her and balanced in his chair on the two back legs. This is fun, he thought gleefully. Making messes for Evans to clean up is certainly one of my new favorite pastimes. Professor studied Lily suspiciously for a moment over her glasses, as if she was trying to determine whether or not Lily was under the influence of alcohol or something of the like. Then she finally turned back to James.
"Ms. Evans," she said firmly. "I will excuse your attitude this one time and this one time only. But if it continues, I will not hesitate to give a week's detention and take one hundred points away from Gryffindor. Is that clear?" James opened his mouth to say something but Lily hurried to beat him to it.
"It's clear Professor," she said. Lily turned to James and glared at him, which ensured that he would certainly get quite a talking to later on. Professor McGonagall just raised her eyebrows skeptically before turning to the class.
"Alright class," she said loudly. "Thanks to Ms. Evans, we have already lost a few minutes of this class and you will need every second for today's lesson."
As she continued, Lily turned to James and hissed, "What is the matter with you?! Are you crazy? Do you know how much trouble you could have gotten into? How much you could have gotten me into?" James just shrugged his shoulders and yawned.
"Of course," he said carelessly. "That's why I did it. You should know that by now." Lily huffed and crossed her arms angrily.
"The one class that I can't afford to mess up in," she muttered. "And you have to choose this one to give me a bad reputation with the teacher. When I get back to my body I am never speaking to you again."
"How sweet," James said, grinning at her. "I didn't know you cared. It's so nice of you, Evans, to give me such a special gift as your silence. My birthday isn't for another eight months. Now all you have to do is drop off the face of the earth and my life happiness will be complete." Lily ignored him and continued to fume while simultaneously trying to pay attention to the lesson.
"You will each have a glass filled with colored water," Professor McGonagall was saying as a student handed out the supplies. "And for the rest of the lesson you will be practicing turning them into candles and back. If you can manage that, try to make it a bit more difficult and transfigure tot into a candle with a flame. Begin." Lily sighed and reluctantly picked up her wand, staring down into her purple fluid.
She hated Transfiguration, and that was no secret.
Lily cleared her throat and pointed her wand, preparing to transform the fluid…then she remembered that she didn't know what the spell was because she hadn't been listening.
"Oh, dammit," she groaned, leaning her head against the desk.
"What?" James asked curiously. Lily looked up to answer him, and dropped her jaw. He had already transfigured his glass and blue water into a beautiful, burning candle.
"How did you do that?" she exclaimed.
"What?" he said again. Lily pointed furiously at the flame.
"H-how did you change that flower into a candle—a burning candle—in less than a minute? You didn't even hear the spell!"
"I'm gifted," James answered smugly. Lily continued to gape at his candle, while Parker and Kate looked on curiously behind them.
"How did she do that?" Parker whispered to Kate. Kate just shook her head dazedly.
"I don't know," she said slowly. "Lily has never been too talented in this department." Parker snorted.
"Talented?" she repeated. "Yeah, right! She's never been able to transfigure so much as a grape. How did she turn it into a candle in so little time?"
"Maybe she's been practicing," Kate suggested doubtfully. In front of them, Lily was getting ready to attempt the spell.
"Okay, what's the spell?" she asked James.
"Detonium," he answered. Lily nodded and too a deep breath.
"Detonium," she repeated confidently. "Okay, I can do that."
"Just say it strongly or else it won't work," James advised. Lily nodded again and picked up her wand. Preoccupied with concentrating on her task, she didn't notice James grin and scoot his chair away. Lily cleared her throat and pointed at the glass.
"Detonium!"
BOOM!
Everyone in the class jumped and Lily let out a small scream. Her glass had exploded sending shards of glass along with the purple liquid sailing to the floor. Professor McGonagall came running over, looking quite startled.
"What is going on here?" she demanded sternly. Lily winced as a red tinge began to quickly cover her cheeks.
"Um…" she said. "I-I just sort of had a bit of an…an accident, Professor." Beside her, James was bent over a piece of parchment, pretending to write while he tried desperately to stop laughing. Professor McGonagall cleaned up the mess with an impatient wave of her wand. She crossed her arms and glared down at Lily.
"Mr. Potter," she said tightly. "What spell did you use?" Lily glanced at James.
"Erm…" she said slowly. "Detonium…?" Professor McGonagall sighed and shut her eyes, rubbing her temple as though she had a terrible headache. Lily blushed deeper and sank lower into her chair. "Just kidding," she mumbled sheepishly.
"Mr. Potter," she said tensely when she finally opened her eyes. "The spell that I just taught you was Luminotio, something that I stated not five minutes ago. Would you care to explain why you missed it?" Lily looked at James, as if asking for help. Come on! she pleaded silently. This was your fault, own up to it! James knew very well what she was thinking. After all he wasn't (usually) an idiot. But being the most unhelpful person that he was, all he did was shrug and beam. Lily sent him a murderous glare.
"Mr. Potter?" prompted McGonagall. Lily bit her tongue and shook her head.
"Not really," she said quietly. Professor McGonagall folded her arms and stared down at Lily sternly.
"Ten points from Gryffindor Mr. Potter," she said. "Five for the destruction and five for interrupting the class for the second time in five minutes."
"But it was an accident!" Lily protested.
"One that could have been prevented if you had been listening," countered McGonagall angrily.
"But Professor—!"
"Mr. Potter, if you continue to try my patience there will be five more. Now get to work. I want that glass turned into a candle by the end of the lesson." Professor McGonagall turned to the class and said, "Alright, class. I need get something in my office. I expect you to continue working and not turn my class into a complete circus." Her eyes flickered to Sirius, Remus, and Lily. "I will return shortly." Professor McGonagall turned on her heel and walked briskly out of the classroom. As soon as she was gone, Sirius threw down his wand and leaned back in his seat, turning to talk to a pretty brown haired girl and turning on what he liked to call the "Sirius Charm." Needless to say the girl became quite flustered. Lily scowled and leaned back into her chair. She did something that every teen has done in his or her life at some point, which was contemplate on how unfair everything was in her life.
"Well," James commented lightly. "That went quite nicely, don't you think?" Lily whipped her head to face him so fast James thought she would get whiplash.
"Detonium," she hissed dangerously, eyes blazing. "De-tonium?!" James grinned innocently and shrunk back ever-so-slightly.
"You asked for a spell," he joked. Lily clenched her jaw. She picked up the glass and thrust it into James's face.
"For the glass, you twit! I wanted to turn it into a candle and you knew it!" She slammed the glass back down so hard it almost shattered again.
"You should have specified."
Well, that was enough, and Lily snapped.
She lunged for James's throat with outstretched hands, something she had wanted to do for years. She had been close, but a hand grabbed onto the back of her sweater and held her back.
"James," a strained voice said. "Calm down!" Lily turned and came face-to-face with Remus. Maybe if the situation was switched, she would be thankful for him. But now, he was just in the way of her mission: Kill James.
"Let—go!" she said. For the second time that day, the other students turned watch the on-going scuffle.
"James, get a hold of yourself!" Remus exclaimed, still struggling to hold on. James, though quite surprised with Lily's sudden anger, was watching on with a very amused expression on his face.
"Wow, Potter," he said gleefully. "You really need some anger management." Lily tried harder to get out of Remus's grasp and Remus shot James a glare.
"Not now, Lily," he warned. "If I were you I would keep my mouth shut."
"He wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut if he cursed his lips off!" Lily spat crossly, reaching out with one hand and slapping at Remus with another. She had been so angry, that she forgot to use the right pronoun.
"James!" Sirius called out. "She's a girl, you can't hit her!" Finally getting tired, Lily stopped swinging her arms and sank into her seat, breathing heavily and scowling at James.
"You have no idea how wrong you are," she murmured. Remus was still holding onto her wrist, unsure of whether or not he could trust her to stay calm. Lily tried to yank it out of his hand. "You can let go now," she said harshly. "I'm calm." Remus slowly let go, but as soon as he did, Lily leapt out of her seat again. Quick as a flash, Remus' arm was around her stomach.
"Be reasonable, James!" he said loudly. "It wasn't that bad! You've done loads of worse stuff. I'm sure Lily only meant to play a little joke!" James nodded and smiled meekly from his place under the desk. Even though he was quite used to Lily's tantrums, he knew Lily had the advantage this time.
"Joke my arse," snarled Lily through clenched teeth. At that moment, Professor McGonagall strode into the room. In all of the hubbub, Lily didn't notice and kept trying to reach James.
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" roared Professor McGonagall. Lily swore under her breath and sat down. Just what I need, she thought sullenly. The class was dead silent, and no one dared to move an eyelash. James slinked out from under the desk, and settled into his seat.
"I leave you for five minutes, Mr. Potter," said McGonagall in a quiet voice. "And you start a brawl!"
"But Professor," Lily began. "It wasn't my—"
"Be quiet, Mr. Potter," she interrupted. "I have heard enough of your excuses."
"Professor McGonagall," Remus tried. "He was—"
"Mr. Lupin," said McGonagall sternly. "Go back to your seat." Remus looked at Lily sympathetically before returning to his chair.
"I don't know what is going on with you today, Potter," McGonagall said angrily. "But it has earned you an assignment. You are to write a paper about why it is wrong to fight and disrupt the class." Lily's jaw dropped open.
"But—!" Professor McGonagall held up her hand to stop her.
"I have had enough," she continued. "I want it one foot long and turned in to me tomorrow morning, no later than eight o'clock. You also have a detention for this evening. Go to the library for the remainder of the lesson." Lily's brows furrowed furiously and she bit down on her tongue to keep herself from arguing. She noisily gathered her things and stomped out of the room, but not before sending James a look that would have made Salazar Slytherin cower.
McGonagall sighed, rubbed her forehead, and said, "I don't want another word spoken for the rest of the lesson except for the spell, is that clear?"
"Yes, Professor McGonagall," murmured the students. McGonagall went back to her desk.
"That Potter," she said quietly to herself. "Always causing trouble."
Sirius heard her and quipped cheerfully, "Don't worry, Professor. It's probably just the fire whiskey talking."
Given everything after everything McGonagall had to put up with, it's completely understandable as to why Sirius was kicked out as well.
After that lesson, James plucked up his pride and went to the library to find Lily. Just as he was walking in, Lily brushed past him and made sure to bump him on the shoulder.
"Hey!" James yelled after her. Lily quickened her pace, but didn't turn to look at him. "Hey wait up!" James ran after her. For every one step Lily took, he had to take two. Damn, she's fast! he thought.
"Hey—pant!—Evans," he gasped, still trying to keep up.
"Go to hell," she said, still not turning to look on him.
"Could you slow down for just one second?" Lily rolled her eyes and stopped abruptly, but when James stopped by her side, she started walking again.
"Hey!" he cried.
"You said one second," she said shortly. "I gave you two. I think I was very generous considering what you did." James was beginning to get annoyed.
"If you would slow down for just one moment," he said in an aggravated tone. "I would apologize." Lily stopped and whirled around to face him. Suddenly, James was very sorry that he had followed her once he looked into her rage-filled visage.
"Sorry for what?" she demanded furiously.
"Erm…" James stammered. "Well…"
"Sorry for getting me into trouble?" she asked, waving her hands wildly. "Sorry for getting me a detention? Sorry for getting on the bad side of the one teacher I can't afford to upset?!"
"Well—" Lily leaned in, her eyes blazing with fury.
"Sorry for not owning up to provoking me?" she continued in a low hiss. "Sorry for making a fool of me in from of the entire class? Sorry for what, Potter?!"
"If you'd let me talk I would tell you!" he said exasperatedly. Lily made a derisive noise and turned the corner. "It's not like they think it was the real you, anyway! They think it's me, so what's the big deal?" That's a good point, Lily thought reluctantly. McGonagall still thinks its Potter causing trouble as usual. Potter's right; why should I care? However, Lily wasn't about to admit that to James; she knew that it would caused him to get an even bigger head, if that was even possible
"I don't want to hear it," she said curtly. James sighed before hurrying after Lily yet again. Stubborn as hell, he thought. As always…
"Look," he said as they walked outside for their Herbology lesson. "What if I make it up to you?" Lily snorted and quickened her pace.
"I should live so long," she said under her breath.
"I'm serious!" James insisted, sliding into a seat behind her. "I could make it up to you." Lily said nothing and set her books on the table. James rolled his eyes, not believing what he was about to say. "I could tutor you," he suggested. "I could help you in transfiguring the candle if you like." Still, Lily ignored him and pulled out a sheet of parchment. James scowled and slammed his quill on the desk. "I'm trying to help here!" he said irritably. "You could at least reply."
"Generally," Lily said stiffly without turning around. "When one does not answer another person, it is a hint for that person to stop talking."
"Does that mean you don't want my help?" Lily rolled her eyes.
"Wow, what a genius," she said sarcastically. "Are you sure you shouldn't be moved up a year?" James made a face at her and folded his arms.
"Fine then," he said, trying to keep his voice calm. "Go ahead and fail. Be that way."
"I will!" Lily snapped.
"Fine!"
"FINE!" Lily slouched in her seat breathing heavily. James scowled and did the same. "Ass," she muttered angrily.
"Am not!" James shot back childishly. A few seats over, Remus observed the display between the two and rested his cheek in his hand.
"I swear," he said to Sirius. "Those two will probably be the cause of the next world war." Sirius nodded.
"But you can't say we won't be prepared," he replied. "I mean, we're used to it since we've dealt with them for the past six years right?"
"I suppose," sighed Remus. "But there's a slight chance that they'll realize that they're sixteen instead of two and resolve there differences." Sirius gave him a look.
"You know, you're mental to come up with a crock like that," he stated plainly.
"Yeah," Remus replied, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "It is a bit far fetched, isn't it?" Sirius shrugged and turned to talk to Parker.
"Hello, sweetie," he said smoothly.
"Sod off, Sirius," she replied casually. Sirius just grinned and playfully ruffled her hair.
"Aww," he said. "I'm flattered." Parker rolled her eyes and slapped his hand away.
"What do you want, Sirius?" she asked wearily. He smirked and leaned in closer.
"Oh, nothing," he said slyly. "I was just wondering…what are you doing this weekend?"
"I'm busy," Parker said shortly.
"Doing what?" asked Sirius.
"Stuff." Sirius raised an eyebrow and slung an arm over her shoulders. Two Hufflepuffs behind them looked insanely jealous.
"Stuff with me, perhaps?" he asked haughtily.
"No, Sirius," she said, removing his arm. Remus snickered quietly at the fact that Sirius was being turned down for the first time. The two Hufflepuffs behind her exchanged furious whispers ("Is she crazy?!" one asked her friend. "Maybe she's gay," the other replied. "It's the only logical answer to turn down Sirius Black.")
"Aww, come on," Sirius wheedled. "You know you want to…" Parker tried very hard to keep the growing smile on her face from expanding.
"I don't think I do," she told him. A confused expression crossed Sirius's features for a second. This had never happened before. A girl never turned down the "Sirius Charm." He was seriously beginning to think of going into therapy. Sirius shook his head and prepared to try again with a different tactic.
"But Parker," he whined, pulling his signature puppy face. "If you don't go out with me, I'll feel dejected and hurt. The damage could last for a life time. Besides…" Sirius's expression grew suggestive and he leaned in closer. "…I promise I'll make it worth your time. So what do you say?" Parker observed him for a moment. Then, she knew what to tell him.
"Okay," she replied. Sirius's face broke into a charming smile. Score! he thought. I knew I could get her.
"Great!" he exclaimed. "I knew you would come to your senses, Parker." Parker just grinned and pulled out a planner.
"When do you want to meet?" she asked, quill poised in hand.
"Is Saturday alright? Around five o'clock?" he asked. Parker nodded and scribbled something down.
"Alright then," she said cheerfully. "Perfect. Saturday, five o'clock at the end of the century. It's a date!" Without another word Parker turned to talk to another Gryffindor. Damn, that was hard, she thought. It took a minute for Sirius to realize that he had just been turned down by Parker for the second time. When he did, he slumped back into his chair, scowling in frustration.
"Dammit," he muttered vehemently. Remus snorted in laughter and wiped a tear from his eye. "Shut up, Moony!" exclaimed Sirius. Remus attempted to say something but a fresh round of laughter kept him from doing so. "It isn't funny!" Sirius protested. "I'm beginning to think the 'Charm' isn't working anymore! What am I going to do? Do you know how concerning this is?!"
"Sirius," Remus finally gasped, still chuckling. "Why do you keep asking Parker out when you bloody well know that she's going to say no?"
"Because," Sirius explained enthusiastically. "If I can get a date with her that means that I am unstoppable, that I am the ultimate sex god. To be able to get that one girl who always turns me down is like…like…winning a girl who always turns me down," he finished lamely. Remus shook his head in amazement.
"You are a complete idiot," he said with deep conviction. "You really are."
Lily didn't speak to James for the rest of the day. James, on the other hand, dealt with his anger differently. In Potions, he "accidentally" spilled a vile of itching potion on her that kept Lily scratching for the next hour. She retaliated in Charms class by making his textbook slam shut on his hand each time he tried to touch it.
And on it went; a curse over here, a charm over there. It only stopped when James hit Remus with a spell that made his hair turn into long, slimy worms by mistake, when it had been intended for Lily. Remus had irritably snatched both of their wands away and threatened to snap them in half if they didn't stop their "childish antics."
Later that afternoon Lily sat in the Gryffindor Common Room, moodily doing her homework. (Remus only gave back her wand when she insisted that she needed it for Transfiguration.) James had gone down to the kitchens for a small snack (AKA, a meal).
Around four, the portrait door swung open and James strode in. Though he was not even close to ready to deal with Lily, he knew that he still had to train her in Quidditch before the game on Saturday. Heaving a sigh, he made his way over to where she sat by the fire.
"Alright, get into your gear," he said impatiently. Lily threw him an angry look and continued to write.
"What are you talking about?" she snapped.
"You and I are going out on the pitch for some extra practice, remember?" he said exasperatedly. Lily put down her quill and fixed him with a steely glare.
"Well, you see," she said, trying to keep her temper. "That just isn't going to work for me this evening, Potter. Would you like to know why?" James rolled his eyes and folded his arms.
"Oh Merlin," he muttered. "Here we go." Lily ignored his comment.
"On top of a crap-load of homework," she began, counting on her fingers. "I have a foot-long paper I need to write about brawling, which will take me at least forty-five minutes. I have to practice turning a glass of purple food-coloring into a candle, and I have to serve detention tonight from eight o'clock to midnight."
"You also have Quidditch practice," James added.
"No, I don't," Lily said crisply. "Believe it or not, I put school work before quidditch."
"Maybe you do," James countered. "But I don't, and seeing as you are supposed to be me, you will be going to practice tonight at seven-thirty on the dot. And before that, you and I will be going out to practice on our own." Lily scowled.
"You're insane to think that I'm going to allow you to order me around like some servant," she said stubbornly. "I have priorities, Potter. And Quidditch is not at the top of them. In fact, it's not on the list of priorities at all." James suppressed a groan with great difficulty and ran a hand through the red locks on his head.
"Look," he said tensely. "You obviously have some time-management issues." Lily looked confused.
"What to do you mean?" she said blankly. James sat down in a chair next to her and sighed. Apparently this was going to take a while.
"Evans," he said calmly. "Given how much time I spend in detention, do you really think I would stop everything each time I got one? If I skipped Quidditch practice every time I landed in detention, I wouldn't even have time to mount a broom, let alone play in a game." Lily nodded slowly. At least he can admit it, she thought, impressed. "So," continued James. "I always plan my schedule anticipating the fact that I'll have detention."
"You know something," Lily said thoughtfully. "It's really pathetic that you have to do that." James just shrugged.
"Yeah," he said carelessly. "Anyway, the point is that you have to use your time well. You figure that detention is from eight to midnight, right? So that's four whole hours you have to do all of your homework, which means that you can use your time right now to practice Quidditch with me, and from seven thirty to eight for practice with the team."
"But won't Brian be upset that I have to skip an hour and a half of practice?"
"Oh yeah," James said matter-of-factly. "He'll definitely be pissed that you're missing one, especially before a Quidditch game. But he won't do anything too bad. Probably just yell himself hoarse, threaten to kick you off the team, and throw a bludger at your head." Lily snorted.
"Oh, yeah," she said sarcastically. "Glad to know it's nothing too traumatizing."
"Believe me," James told her. "That's nothing. Okay, now go and get my broom and Quidditch robes." Lily nodded and rose to her feet.
"Fine," she said reluctantly. "Where are they?"
"In my dorm room hanging on the corner of my bed post. The broom should be in the closet, or something similar." Lily gave him a long look.
"I can't go up there," she protested. James placed his hands on her shoulders and gave her a shove towards the stairs.
"You have to," he said impatiently. "God, it's not like you're going into a strip club! Just suck it up!" Lily tripped over her feet and scowled at James as she made her way up the stairs. Even though she had been in his body for almost a week, she still hadn't been in the Boys' Dorm since she had woken up there (except for when she had taken her first shower as a boy shower, which was only because she had known that the boys had all been out. The rest of the time she used the prefects one). She was still very apprehensive about it, afraid of what she would walk in on. James knew it and found it all quite funny.
"You're certainly different from other girls," he had told her when she refused to use the bathroom in there. "Most would kill for just a chance to walk in on the Marauders changing."
Lily took a deep breath before twisting the door knob and opening the door. Relieved that she didn't see anyone around, she made her way to James's bed and pulled down his scarlet robes. Then she turned around and opened the closet, but she didn't see his broom.
"Crap," she muttered. "Where is that bloody twig?" She searched through the different robes hanging there, but she still didn't see it.
"Hey, Prongs, whatcha lookin' for?" said a voice behind her. Lily recognized the voice as Remus's.
"I can't find Jam—my broom," she said with her head still in the closet. Sighing heavily, she turned around to face him. "Do you have any idea where…where it…is…?" Lily trailed off as she caught sight of Remus, and immediately regretted turning around.
There Remus stood, clad in nothing but a towel around his waist as he rubbed his wet hair with another. Lily tried to keep her jaw from falling open as she stared at him. Oh my God, she thought desperately. Okay, Lily calm down. You're a boy, you're in a boy's body...act like a boy!
"Holy Merlin," she murmured, still staring at Remus.
That certainly wasn't acting like a boy.
This is why I didn't want to come up here, she thought. I knew something like this would happen! Although she had to admit, she didn't entirely regret it. Remus interrupted her thoughts by waving a hand in front of her face.
"Hey," he said. "James? You okay, buddy?" Lily snapped her head up and tore her gaze away from his chest. He sure has changed in the past few years, she thought faintly.
"Of course!" she said frantically. "Why wouldn't I be?" Remus cast her a strange look.
"Well," he said slowly. "You were kind of staring at me like I had three heads. Did I cut myself shaving or something?" He self-consciously ran a hand over his face. A very nice face indeed, Lily noted. She shook her head quickly and forced herself to turn back to the closet.
"No," she said hastily. "Not at all." She paused for a moment before saying tentatively, "Um…Remus, have—have you been…working out lately?" Remus just stared at her.
"Er…" he said blankly. "A bit…why?"
"No reason," Lily answered. She realized her voice was higher than usual. "I'm just…I'll just get what I came from and move out of your way…" Remus walked over to her and looked into the closet, brushing her arm as he passed by. Lily took a sharp intake of breath and stepped away.
"What are you looking for?" Remus asked again, not noticing Lily shifting uncomfortably.
"Um...body…I mean, broom!" she corrected hurriedly, a blush flaming up her face. "I meant broom, not b-body." Remus didn't take notice of her mistake, and continued to shift through the different robes. Lily watched as a drop of water fell from his hair and trickled down his back. Nice muscles…she thought weakly. "I have to get out of this room…" she mumbled.
"Did you look under your bed?" Remus suggested, swinging the towel around his neck (the towel from his head, that is). "You know, where everything else is?" He grinned at her and jokingly punched her arm. Lily nodded and quickly made her way over to the bed, eager to get away from Remus.
"Right," she told him. Lily knelt down and poked her head under the bed, but immediately came back out, pinching her nose. "Disgusting!" she cried, forgetting her dilemma for a moment. "Does he live in a dumpster or something? It reeks under there!" Remus shrugged and made his way into the bathroom.
"That's what I keep telling you, James," he called out. "Also, there's something that resembles a mushroom growing under there, except that it's blue. You might want to get that checked out." Lily made a face. Boys, she thought hotly. Only a boy would have his own Forbidden Forest growing under his bed! Lily fought down a feeling of nausea with difficulty before reaching under the bed. After coming in contact with something that suspiciously felt like jell-o, she finally grasped the broomstick and pulled it out.
Vigorously wiping her hand on her sweater, Lily mentally made a note to soak her hand in disinfectant for at least two hours. Relieved that her task was over she made her way to the door, very eager to get out of the dorm room.
Just as she was turning the knob, Remus called, "Hey, James? Could you hand me my pants? They're on my bed." Lily froze and swore under her breath.
"Uh…sure," she yelled back. She took a deep breath and grabbed Remus's trousers. Please have something on, she prayed frantically. Please have something on! Lily took a timid step toward the bathroom. "I'm going to kill Potter," she murmured. Biting her lip, she took another step. When she was about five feet away, Remus stomped out of the bathroom. Lily breathed a sigh of relief when she saw he had a bathrobe on. Remus snatched the pants out her hand.
"Never mind," he said with a grin. "If I had known it would take you a year, I would have just come and gotten them myself." When he walked back into the bathroom, Lily ran out of the room, not wanting to risk being delayed again. Once the door was closed behind her, she slumped against it and closed her eyes. I never want to see a boy's dorm again, she swore to herself.
When she opened her eyes, Lily saw James standing in front of her with an impatient look on his face. He looked at his watch and folded his arms.
"I sent you in there exactly ten minutes ago," he told her. "Were you getting Quidditch gear or trying to catch a snitch?" Lily scowled and thrust the broom at him.
"You could have told me there would be someone there," she said huffily as she stomped down the stairs. James looked confused and ran to catch up with her.
"Who was there?"
"Remus," replied Lily. James was still puzzled as he opened the portrait door.
"And the problem would be…?" he asked. Lily looked down and said nothing. The blush that had already stained her cheeks deepened. As James had pointed out before, he could always tell when a blush covered his cheeks. He clapped a hand over his mouth and pointed at Lily wildly, his eyes twinkling with excitement. "Aha!" he cried gleefully. "You're blushing! You saw him naked, didn't you? Didn't you, Evans?"
"No!" Lily said indignantly. James just snickered and gave her a skeptical look. "He had a towel on!" she exclaimed.
"Pretty damn close, though," James said cheerfully. "So, Evans. What's it like to have your dream come true?" Lily opened the front door, making her way outside.
"What are you on about?" she asked. James raised an eyebrow and casually picked a speck of dust off of his cloak.
"Well," he said haughtily. "It's every girl's dream to see one of the Marauders naked, isn't it?" Lily was so shocked at what he said that all she could do was stare. "Unfortunately," James continued. "You don't really have bragging rights until you see the best one. You know, me, considering I play Quidditch." James stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Then again, given the circumstances, you could fix that in a right jiffy." Lily pulled a face and shoved him away from her, in any way but playful.
"That," she said firmly. "is the sickest thing I have ever heard in my life, and that includes my sister describing her first kiss to me in detail. Potter, you are not only a pervert, but you are an arrogant pervert." James just smirked as they entered the pitch.
"Just a part of my many attractive attributes," he said. Lily rolled her eyes and put on the scarlet quidditch robes over her uniform. James handed her the broom and grabbed another one from the shed. "Okay, now all kidding aside, Evans, this is serious." He pulled a shiny whistle out from his pocket and hung it around his neck. Lily sat down on the grass and watched as James started to pace back and forth. "For the next hour and a half," James stated, taking on a stern expression. "You can consider me your trainer, your instructor, and your—"
"Pain in my ass?" Lily suggested lazily. James stopped moving and glared at her.
"I'm going to ignore that," he said, clearing his throat. "But only because we don't have time to argue. Now, back to what I was saying. In this time-span, you will be under my complete command. If I say jump, you say…" He pointed at Lily, cuing her to finish his sentence.
"Sod off?" she said sweetly. James closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This is going to take a while, he thought.
"Let's try that again," he said, forcing himself to remain calm. "If I say run, you say…"
"Go to hell," Lily replied. She squinted up at James, who was gritting his teeth in frustration. This is going to be fun, she thought gleefully, smiling at him.
"Actually," James said after a moment. "I was thinking more along the lines of 'how far', but I guess that will work, too. Anyway, what we're going to work on is your speed, your throwing, and your aim." Lily furrowed her brow.
"What's wrong with my aim?" she asked defensively. James snorted.
"Come on, Evans. You couldn't get the quaffle into the loop if it came alive and swallowed the ball while it was in your hand." Lily sniffed. Actually, she thought. That's probably true. "If you're going to play Quidditch on Saturday in my body," James continued. "You'll have to be a half decent chaser for people to think I just had an off game. Which means we have a lot of work to do."
"Oh, thanks," Lily said grumpily. "Your support does wonders to help my self-esteem."
"I'm glad," James said dismissively. "Now, up on your feet. I want twelve laps around the pitch in five minutes." Lily stared at him blankly, not moving from her place on the ground.
"Are you mental?" she asked bluntly. "I can't do that!" James just shrugged and twirled the whistle around idly.
"Well," he said. "Let's just see what you can do." He put the whistle in his mouth and blew it twice. Lily clamped her hands over her ears and winced.
"Fine," she grumbled reluctantly. "I'm going, I'm going." She pulled herself up to her feet and began to jog. James quickly grabbed her arm to hold her back.
"What do you think you're doing?" he asked, completely baffled. Lily was equally confused.
"I'm…doing laps," she explained slowly. James rolled his eyes and shook his head. He picked the broom up from the ground and handed it to Lily.
"Not that way," he said edgily. "On the broom." Lily grasped the broom and looked at it doubtfully.
"On the broom…?" she repeated, puzzled. James pointed upwards and gave her a steely look.
"In the air, Evans," he said in an irritated tone. Lily looked doubtful and looked up uncertainly.
"I think I could do better on the ground," she said. James just responded by narrowing his eyes and tweeting the whistle again, this time in Lily's ear. Lily glared at him and rubbed her ear as she mounted the broom. Okay, she thought. I can do this…I can do this... Lily groaned and grasped the handle, eyes closed tight. No I can't.
"Yes you can," James said firmly. Lily opened her eyes and looked at him. I said that aloud? "Now come on," James assured her. "You won't be able to do it if you don't try." Lily nodded and swallowed audibly. Taking a deep breath, she tapped her foot softly on the ground.
"Okay," James said when she didn't move. "That's one of your problems. You don't kick off with confidence." Lily scowled.
"Last time I 'kicked off with confidence' I shot up like a cannon ball," she said bitterly. James smiled and knelt by her leg.
"I said kick off with confidence," he corrected. "I didn't mean start an earthquake. You want to make sure you kick off firmly, like you're commanding your broom to go up. The way you kick off now is like you're stepping on thin ice, afraid it's going to crack any moment. Now try again, and try to do it hard, but not hard enough so you hurt yourself." Lily inhaled deeply and nodded. She put her foot down again, this time a bit harder than last time. When she still was on the ground, she tried again. But still nothing happened.
"Damn!" Lily exclaimed angrily. Out of frustration she stomped her foot on the ground, and finally got the reaction she wanted. "Oh my God!" she screeched. But even though she was scared, she noted that she hadn't gone up as fast as she had last time. Lily slowed down much sooner and hovered in the air. In a few seconds, James was hovering right next to her.
"See?" he said, grinning at her. "It wasn't so bad. But I have to point out something. No matter what, Evans, you can't scream while you go up." Lily tore her gaze from the ground that was far below and gripped the handle tighter.
"You can't tell me not to scream," she said testily. "I told you, I hate heights."
"But you can't show that," James said earnestly. "Not while you're me. Boys don't scream like that. They don't scream at all."
"Well maybe they should," Lily snapped. "Boys need to get in touch with their feelings." James sighed and rubbed his eyes.
"I need some coffee," he muttered.
"Yeah, well I need a harness," Lily shot back. James decided to drop the screaming issue, figuring he could pick up on it later.
"Alright," he said. "Now do those twelve laps." Lily groaned.
"I still have to do those?" she whined.
"Yes," James said. "In the time you spend whining about it, you could already have it done."
"Can I do six instead?" Lily said hopefully.
"Eleven," James argued.
"Seven."
"Ten."
"Eight"
"Nine."
"Deal," Lily said quickly. James nodded and blew his whistle. Lily scowled and covered her ears again. "Could you stop blowing that bloody thing?" she said crossly. James shook his head and grinned at her.
"Nope," he said cheerfully, waving it around. "Now come on, ten laps around the pitch."
"Nine!" cried Lily.
"That's what I said," he said impatiently. "Now hurry up." Lily sighed grudgingly and made her wobbly way around the field. When she completed her first lap, James flew beside her.
"It's taken you four minutes just for one lap," he stated plainly. Lily scowled at him.
"How do you know?" she grumbled. James smirked and held up a timer which read 4:07. "You're timing me?" Lily asked disbelievingly.
"Considering your time for this one lap," he said, ignoring her statement. "It would take you approximately half an hour just to complete nine." Lily shrugged.
"I think that pretty good," she said.
"Maybe for a five year old," James snorted. "Look, it's obvious this speed thing is going to take a while, so we're just going to focus on this and leave the other stuff for later. You and I will be out here until you can complete ten laps around the pitch in no more than ten minutes." Lily's jaw dropped open.
"What?" she protested. "That's not fair!" James opened his mouth, but Lily said, "I don't care if life isn't fair, Potter! This isn't even reasonable. Can't you lighten up?"
"You aren't going to get any better if I do that," he reasoned. "Maybe if I had about a month I would start out slower. But the game against Ravenclaw is on Saturday, Evans, and we don't have all the time in the world. So, given that reason…" He blew the whistle. "I want those ten laps."
"You said nine," Lily said through gritted teeth. "We agreed on nine, Potter." James shook his head.
"I changed my mind," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Now come on, get moving or I'm going to make it twelve again." Muttering a few choice words under her breath, Lily begrudgingly started to fly around the field again. Something told her that it would be the first of many, many laps.
Two hours and thirty three minutes later, Lily and James walked back into the Gryffindor common room. Actually, in Lily's case it was more like limping.
During the entire practice, she had done nothing by fly laps around the field. Slowly she had made progress. Her time went from ten laps in twenty-four minutes, to ten in seventeen, to ten in thirteen, and finally ten in ten. Plus, she hadn't received nearly as many injuries as before. The worse thing that happened was that she had turned around to shout something to James and had crashed into the stands. With a few bruises, cuts, and splinters, Lily got back on her broom and started again, but only because James threatened to cut her hair into a buzz cut if she didn't.
Lily slowly sank into a chair, wincing as she felt pain shoot up through her legs. James chuckled and sat down on the couch across from her.
"Oh come on," he snorted. "It's not that bad." Lily rubbed her back and grinned.
"No," she sighed. "You're right, it isn't. Instead of my whole body aching, it's just my thighs. Plus, my feet are swollen from hanging on the broom."
"Hey," James said. "Look at the bright side. You didn't get hit in the groin this time." Lily laughed and leaned back and closed her eyes.
'Yeah," she agreed. "And that's worth every cut and bruise on my arm." Just as she was falling asleep, James spoke and interrupted her potential nap.
"Don't get comfy," he chirped. Lily furrowed her eyebrows but didn't open her eyes.
"Why the hell not?" she mumbled irritably.
"Because," James snickered. "You have Quidditch practice in an hour." Lily made a noise that sounded like she was close to tears and threw a pillow in his direction.
"No-o-o," she whined. "Don't make me go!"
James laughed and picked up the pillow from the floor.
"Come on Evans," he said. "Suck it up."
"You suck it up," Lily replied sulkily, scowling deeply
"Hey, hey, hey," James said, holding up a finger. "I think you have it a lot easier than me right now. You're not the one who has to get ready for a date…with a person of the same gender. If you ask me I think I'm sucking it up quite well."
"Whatever," she muttered. Lily grabbed a blanket and covered herself with it. "Wake me up when it's time for practice, will you?" James nodded and stood up.
"Sure thing," he said, but Lily was already sound asleep. James sighed and made his way out of the Common Room, headed for the Kitchens for the second time that day.
For some reason he couldn't explain, he had the weirdest craving for something that he couldn't put his finger on. Before, James had figured he was just hungry. However, nothing he ate satisfied this craving he had, and it was driving him insane.
James kneaded his knuckles into his back as he tickled the pear. That was another thing. His lower-back had been aching all day. The pain had made him irritable, too. He just figured that he had slept the wrong way the other night.
As he walked into the kitchen, James spotted a bag of chocolate-covered pistachios on the counter and licked his lips. Normally, the sight of even one would have made him sick to his stomach. But for some reason, they looked extremely tasty. A house elf stopped by his feet.
"Can Violet get you something, sir?" she asked eagerly.
"Uh, yeah," James replied, tearing his eyes from the bag. "Do you know whose pistachios those are?" Violet nodded.
"Winston was eating them, miss," she told him. James eyed them greedily.
"Do you think he would mind if I…took a few?" Violet cast a look over to a house elf who was sleeping by the fire with his mouth wide open. Then she waved a hand carelessly.
"You can have the rest, miss," she said kindly. "Violet thinks Winston won't be needing them." James lunged for the bag and clutched them in his hand.
"Thanks," he said enthusiastically. Violet tinkled a laugh and left to finish washing the dishes. Without a moment's delay, James grabbed a handful the chocolate-covered pistachios and popped all of them into his mouth. He sighed happily and closed eyes, feeling a satisfying sensation that was similar to his reaction to drinking coffee. That was what he had been craving. But one thing didn't make sense.
James hated chocolate-covered pistachios.
In fact, it was one of his least-favorite foods. He thought they were nothing short of revolting. This was the reason he couldn't understand why he would feel such a longing for this disgusting poor excuse for a snack. James just shrugged it off and made his way out of the kitchen.
By the time he had gotten back to the Common Room, James had already finished the bag. Luckily, he had performed a duplicating spell before-hand. He smiled to himself and sank into a chair by the fire, trying to keep himself from shoving the entire bag into his mouth. While he was munching, Kate and Parker came up to him, looking slightly amused. James looked at them curiously.
"Wha'?" he asked through a mouthful of pistachios and chocolate. Kate just snickered and perched herself on the arm of the chair.
"So," she said lightly. "Out come the chocolate-covered pistachios, eh, Lily?" James chewed slowly, looking blank.
"Erm…" he stammered.
"Well," Parker interrupted, grinning widely. "We all know what that means." James raised an eyebrow. He would have asked "what" but the chocolate lodged in his teeth prevented him from doing so. "Anyway," Parker continued. "We should leave her alone, Kate. Before she gets all cranky and turns into a bear." Kate nodded and stood up.
"Yeah," she agreed. "Oh, Lily? All of the stuff is already under the sink, so you don't have to go to Madam Pomfrey for anything." Parker and Kate walked away, and James noticed that they looked slightly sympathetic. He was completely baffled by their behavior. What was that all about? he thought. I was just having a little snack, no big deal. As he wondered, James flicked his wand and changed into his pajamas. The pants and shirt he had been wearing before appeared in a neat pile by his feet. He picked them up, and just when he was about to set them on the couch, something caught his eye.
Frowning slightly, James picked up the trousers and examined them closely. He noticed a red spot on the seat of them. "What is that?" he murmured to himself. It looks a bit like… James gasped when he realized what it was.
Blood.
James lowered into the chair again, a horrified look written on his face. He glanced at Lily sleeping peacefully as the terrible truth sank in.
Lily was dying.