Chapter 36

A turtle could have made it across the room faster. Handshakes and hugs, small talk and well wishes hindered Sam's progress as he walked away from the bar. Quinn had been watching him, from her seat in between pretending to be listening to Artie. She had been waiting to talk to him, hoping she could catch him for a few minutes alone. Mercedes had been attached to his hip, keeping Quinn in the shadows, but finally Sam had broken free. This was her perfect chance, but going up to him without causing a scene might be tricky.

She had managed to avoid being noticed so far by sticking to the corners, keeping her head down. Avoiding eye contact proved to be a useful maneuver not only in the hospital, but at parties as well. People were less likely to speak if they weren't visually engaged. But the longer the liquor flowed, Quinn knew her time of obscurity would be short lived. Liquid courage would soon have guests circling her location, their curiosity running on high. The picture of her with Sam from last night had started to spread. Quinn could hear the whispers as phones were checked. It wouldn't be long now before the whispers would become deafening and she would be forced to face their questions. Why was she with Sam and not in the hospital? They needed to get their stories straight before everyone pounced.

Sam had hit the halfway mark, stopping every few feet to greet someone new. He had been missed while in a coma and everyone was eager to personally welcome him back, like a prince returning to his kingdom after a long battle, this was definitely a homecoming. So close, Quinn could almost reach out and touch him she could hear pieces of his conversation hitting her in waves between the music and the collective chatter. Three men in suits, older, seemingly important, definitely rich, had engaged Sam in his latest round of small talk. Smiles all around as they sipped from their glasses, engrossed in the conversation, D&E, Quinn had heard them mention and profit margins, business all that was on their minds even at a party.

Then they parted, receding like waves along the shore, and it was just Sam, handsome in his black suit, the cut perfectly camouflaging his leaner build. He could have been a model, tall and thin, that rugged jawline, and his ever changing eyes. It was rare Quinn had a chance to stand back and just admire him this way, appreciate all of his assets and reflect on them. Sam was really handsome, something she had always known, but never felt the full effect of his appearance until now. Love finally made her see him inside and out, and she couldn't help but kick herself for not opening her eyes sooner. Too many years she had let herself miss out on this man.

Finally he saw her, their eyes connecting, and then he smiled, full shine, deep dimpled and Quinn felt her knees get a bit weak, like those women on TV that used to pass out from seeing Elvis or The Beatles. Quinn had never understood what that felt like before, how just seeing a person could cause a physical response, but now she knew, feeling just a touch lightheaded as he came up beside her.

"Sam you're finally alone," she said at a louder than normal volume so she could be heard over the music.

"I keep getting surrounded," he laughed. "Those guys were shareholders. I only recognized the one, but luckily I faked my way through it without Mercedes."

"What does Mercedes know about D&E business?"

"I'm not sure what she knows exactly, but everyone here sure knows her. She's promised to help me cover whenever I encounter someone I don't know." He looked out into the crowd, scanning the area from left to right, before facing her again. "I'm trying to keep the old memory problem under wraps. Bad for business."

"I understand. Sam, we need to talk."

"Yes we do, but not right now. We can't be seen together," he said putting distance between them when they hadn't been standing that close to begin with. "There's family, business associates, roaming journalists, not to mention Mercedes, everything needs to be above board."

"Just a few minutes please."

"Okay," he agreed, looking around. "Let's go over here," he said pointing toward a dark corner.

Sam led the way to a giant leafy plant in a gold pot.

"Behind a potted plant?" asked Quinn when Sam pulled her behind the plant out of view.

"It's an urn actually."

Huddled behind the plant they were almost completely hidden from prying eyes. The closest they could get to being alone.

"Wouldn't it be better if we talked out in the open like we have nothing to hide? It would look less suspicious that way." If anyone caught them back here they would definitely get the wrong idea. It was the adult equivalent of getting caught under the bleachers.

"People think we have something going on thanks to that picture. We need to be discreet or everything's going to fall apart with Mercedes."

"So let it," Quinn said looking him straight in the eyes. They didn't have to go through this. There was nothing forcing them to hide their feelings.

"What?"

"Let it fall apart," she said taking both his hands in hers. "Your father can send me back. I'll do my time or maybe Artie can help us find another way. We don't have to live our lives by your father's terms."

"Where's this coming from? Upstairs you were telling me how much you wanted to stay free to be with me and Beth. Is this about what you saw earlier between Mercedes and me? Because I can explain that."

"No need. I know what was up," said Quinn dropping his hands and rolling her eyes. "She saw me coming so she kissed you to make me jealous. Little girl bullshit."

Mercedes was so transparent. Quinn had made eye contact with the girl seconds before the kiss happened. It was all for effect.

"It didn't quite happen like that." Sam stammered. "I can't put it all on her."

He looked guilty, the poor guy. Mercedes had set him up and he didn't even know it.

"Women know how to play men to get the reactions they want. Mercedes is an expert at playing with men. Don't let her age fool you."

"What do you mean?" Sam leaned in looking more interested than Quinn liked. What was it about that girl that made him care so much?

"She's experienced, that's all, been around. I don't want to talk about her anymore. I've wasted enough energy dealing with her."

"Sure we can drop the subject of Mercedes, after you explain why you told her I was going to leave her for you."

"I should've known she'd tell you that. I didn't mean to go there with her, but she was acting like I had no place in your life, like you didn't care about me at all. I needed to let her know that I'm important to you."

Taking her down a peg had felt so good at the time. Watching her face fall as she revealed Sam's true feelings was sweet revenge after being pushed aside by her for so long. Sam was back on his feet now and Mercedes was about to quickly find out what it felt like to be on the outside, the one shoved to the background.

"At any point during this little chat with Mercedes did you stop and think about how this may affect our plans?"

Actually she hadn't thought about their plans or his father's stupid deal, all Quinn wanted was to wipe that smug smile off Mercedes' face.

"She was acting all Queen Evans, all possessive and entitled."

Running around the mansion like she owned the place, yelling out orders, making demands, it was unreal how much Mercedes was allowed to get away with. Where was Dwight's tight hold on the reins with her?

"Of course she was acting possessive and entitled, she's my wife!" Sam snapped, raising his voice, as he ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

"What are you saying? I deserve to be treated like trash because she shares your last name?"

"I'm saying that things don't look good right now. I don't know if I can win her over."

"Don't worry about Cede, she's not going anywhere. She told me tonight that she wants you."

He didn't look convinced. "I'm starting to figure out a few things about Mercedes, and I think she may have just said all that to you to save face, especially since you apparently told her that she was being replaced."

"Will you let that go already? I had a slip up."

"Any other slip ups I should know about? I need to know what I'm dealing with here if I want to impress Mercedes."

He was starting to get on her nerves with all the questions about Mercedes. Couldn't they have a conversation that didn't involve her for ten minutes? Mercedes wasn't going to leave Sam, even if they hadn't had that confrontation while Sam was passed out, Quinn could see that. Just looking around this party she planned, it was clear. Mercedes loved the Evans lifestyle and she wasn't going to let it go without a fight. Although she could just file for divorce and take him for as much as she could get. That actually seemed more Mercedes' style and definitely would be a major setback in dealing with Dwight. Maybe Sam was right, he did need to work to get her to stay. So much for a Mercedes free conversation.

"Impress her? Why do you need to impress her? All you have to do is like we discussed, use Beth to convince her."

"I think I'm capable of keeping a wife without resorting to using an infant as bait."

"But what if that's the only way? You promised that…"

"I told you absolutely not. I'm not using our child," he said quickly cutting her off. "And I'm not convinced I'm out of options yet. She liked me before the accident, all of that couldn't have…" Sam stopped abruptly mid-sentence. "Have you noticed they've been playing a lot of Barry Manilow songs?"

"Yeah. I did. I don't know why Mercedes picked this band."

Such a confusing blend, a punk band doing Manilow covers, one song she could understand for the sheer irony factor, but their whole repertoire seemed to be Manilow. Green streaked hair and easy listening didn't really go together. This was an Evans party not a senior prom. Mercedes should have found entertainment that was a bit more dignified.

"I don't mind it," Sam said with a small smile.

"I just had a great idea," said Quinn changing the subject. "Let's get out of here."

"Like leave the party?"

"Like leave the state. Let's grab Beth and go. The three of us living the life we want."

The town was already starting to feel claustrophobic and she'd just gotten back. Quinn could only imagine the harassment and attention once it became common knowledge she was out of the hospital. She wasn't sure she could take another round of ducking from photographers, going out in hoodies and shades, and her face spread across front pages and websites. Sam was awake now and he would see all the awful things that had been printed about her, and realize that he was involved with a person that was universally hated. It was like high school on a larger scale, except now she was being teased by more influential people than the cheerleading squad.

"Quinn, you can't be with Beth," he said gently like she was a small child, which made her stomach twist up.

"I know that," she sighed. "I'm just dreaming I guess."

"I had a similar thought earlier tonight, but Puck made me see the downside of that dream. We'd hurt a lot of people if we just ran off."

He was right. Running away never solved anything, usually it created only more problems. The urge to squirrel away and hide was so strong within her though. All they needed was each other, they had said as much upstairs in the nursery, they shouldn't have to put their feelings on hold just because his father disapproved. It was a new century, they were adults. They didn't have to follow a certain set of rules.

"I know, but at least we could be together out in the open. This sucks. Why did your father force you to stay married like this? You could be moving on by now."

"It wouldn't be that simple. I realize that now. Even without my father's interference, I still couldn't walk away from Mercedes."

"Why not?" she asked her stomach dropping.

After all the conversations they had the past few days she never expected to hear those words coming from his lips. Sam had made it clear that he didn't want anything to do with Mercedes, that he was only attracted to her out of curiosity and from the time when he thought she was just his nurse, he had assured her it wasn't more than that, more than once. Now that Quinn thought back on it, maybe there was a clue in those repeated assurances. Maybe he was trying to convince himself, and not her, maybe Mercedes had found a way to get past his amnesia.

"I owe her. She took care of me and Beth. I can't just cast her out of my life. Besides how would that look leaving the wife that nursed me back to health for my…"

"For your mistress," said Quinn completing his sentence. "That's what you were about to say wasn't it?" Is that how he saw her, as his side piece, his little indiscretion that he needed to hide from the world?

"I only mean things are more complex than we'd like to believe. I want us to have that future we talked about, but it can't happen right now. Deal or not, I'm an Evans, my father's heir, I have to act accordingly. I had forgotten that, but this party reminded me. People are watching us Quinn. We have to do this right."

That hurt. Did their conversation in the nursery mean so little that it was easily dismissed once he was pulled back in the fold? His mom probably turned the screws on him, giving him a hard sell about his duty. Meeting shareholders probably hadn't helped much either, pushing him toward keeping up appearances rather than following his heart. Where was her brave Sam that stood up to bullies, that faced their parents' disapproval back in high school, the soldier that left Lima to forge his own path? He seemed to be sadly absent from the man before her, in his expensive suit and hair full of fancy products.

"I better sneak out of here. Don't want your rep to be ruined when you're caught behind a plant."

"Quinn you seem upset. I don't want you to take this wrong." He hugged her, bringing her in close, and running his hands down her back.

"I'm not. I get it. You have your life and I don't fit into it right now." she said stepping away from him. There wasn't much room between the wall and the plant but Quinn placed herself as far from him as she could. "Why don't you give me a call when you can squeeze me in?"

She felt herself starting to cry and she hated it. Depression meds were supposed to make a person mellow, even keeled in their emotions, but the meds seemed to have an opposite effect on her, making her feel things that for years she could let roll off her back.

"Come on now, stop it. We're not leaving this plant until you understand me."

"I told you I did."

She'd been here with him before, his partner in bed, but never in life, his college sweetie Penny had received that honored spot. In some bizarre ripple effect that shuttled her back in time, she was reliving that indignity all over again. Sam once again chose the ingénue over her.

"Everything I'm doing tonight is for you and Beth. I'm honoring my father's deal to keep you in Lima. I'm respecting my place in this family to keep my daughter's legacy secure. I can't be the family screw up anymore. My actions have consequences beyond me. I'm a father."

Quinn looked up, he seemed so sincere, his eyes almost pleading with her to understand. And she did understand, for the most part, his family had always been a big part of his life, but Quinn had always thought that Sam would rather leave them all behind and find his own way rather than conform to their twisted ideals. Tonight it seemed clear that Sam wasn't conforming he was agreeing, their ideals were his own, and he wanted to follow them. It was a side of him she'd never really focused on before, but it made sense. She had thought his love of working at D&E was just his competitive side at play, the part of him that still was the quarterback trying to win the big game, but now Quinn could see it was more than that, he loved D&E because it was a part of him and his heritage. And those were things he wanted to pass on to Beth. Quinn couldn't help but be envious. Sam had a passion and purpose that she had yet to find. She had nothing to give Beth but slanderous headlines and mental instability, a pathetic legacy for her little girl.

"Right. You're right. You have so much at stake."

"So do you. You have to get back to Beth, do whatever it takes, because she needs you. Maybe being at a party where Beth is in attendance and you can't be near her isn't the smartest move."

"I should go. I don't want to make things worse. I sort of got carried away with my need to see you. I didn't think this through."

"No, as long as you stay away from Beth, I don't want you to go. I like looking across the room and seeing you there. You give me the strength to carry out this charade." Sam slid his fingers through her hair, lingering a moment, before dropping his hand again.

"Is it a charade? You look so comfortable with her." They looked very natural as she watched them from across the room. Unrehearsed and easy like they were dancing and they had the steps memorized.

"I'm not." He shook his head, looking completely stressed. "She's pushing my buttons and I'm fighting for control."

"Maybe you need to relax." Quinn rubbed his back. "Quit trying so hard, and just talk to her. Mercedes used to make you laugh. You told me that once. You said you liked being around her."

She wanted to take away his stress, make him believe that all of this would turn out for the best, but she didn't have the words to sell that uncertainty. The truth was that all of this was so up in the air, relying on Mercedes for anything was a crap shoot, and the odds were not in their favor at the moment. Quinn suspected that Mercedes might use her return to Lima against Sam, as grounds to give him a hard time. Mercedes liked to torment Sam, getting off on his pain. She had done that to him last year after they broke up, and it seemed to Quinn that the writing was on the wall for that to start again.

"I can't believe I talked to you about another woman like that."

"We were best friends. That's what we did. Listened to each other. I'd like to think I'm still your best friend."

"I'd like to think that too." He flashed a smile, and that weak kneed feeling returned.

"Good, because I wouldn't want to live in a world where we weren't friends."

Hands running from his back up to his head, losing herself in touching him this way, such small contact, that meant everything in these few stolen moments.

"I better go." Sam took her hand from his face and kissed it. "I have a marriage to save. Thanks for the advice about Mercedes."

"I'm sorry I got so upset earlier talking about going back to the hospital and running away. I was a little jealous, but I'm past that now. I know this is how it has to be."

This time was different, Mercedes was not Penny, this wasn't history repeating. She would beat that fact into her head until she believed it. The only thing holding them back were her doubts and fears, as they always had, but this time she was fully committed to overcoming all of that and letting him in her life completely. Sam had told her how he felt, no holding back, no secrets. They both had put their hearts on the line, daring to finally work toward a happy ending. If only things weren't on such tenuous ground. The return of Sam's memory was a real threat to all their dreams. What if it all came back and he decided he didn't want to be with her, that he really did want to stay married to Mercedes, because he loved her? Those were questions that Quinn didn't want to face, but kept recurring in her mind. She wanted Sam to be healthy and whole, his memory restored and intact, truly, but why did that have to come at such a high price?

"No matter what, you're my best girl," he said hands in his pocket, rocking on his heels, head tilted to the side. "You know that don't you?"

"Yeah I do." Quinn smiled. For now that was true.

"Love you Quinn."

She looked down, trying to hide the tears forming in her eyes, such a simple phrase meant so much after all they had gone through to get to this place, to get to this next chance. It was then she knew it, the time was right, tucked away behind a plant with all of Lima a few feet away, she had to let him know, the words were no longer willing to be contained.

Quinn looked up smiling, feeling braver, ready to face the unknown forever with him. "I love you too, Sam," she said, her face falling as she realized her words were left floating, unheard.

She was too late. Sam had already gone.