Chapter 37
He was starting to think Mercedes had left the party. She was just nowhere. Sam had been sure his blunt statements about working on their marriage would bring her around or at least cause a reaction, something other than running away that is. Running seemed to be her thing, which was odd since she had supposedly waited around for him for nine months. It had to be a bluff. She was simply playing hard to get to provoke him. Mercedes probably knew him well enough to know that he didn't like to lose, and that the chase was somewhat of a turn on for him, she was probably just using that knowledge against him. He was sure she figured that if she ran, he would chase her. However, his wife was in for a rude awakening, he wasn't chasing anyone. Sam was tired of chasing women. He had enough of that with his ex-wife Brittany, no more wasting time trying to wear down a woman that didn't want him. It sapped his energy and his psyche.
Yet here he was gearing up for another chase. Thanks dad. Leave it to Dwight Evans to find a way to keep him down without even lifting a finger. From his stool he surveyed the room, hoping to catch a glimpse of black hair. So far no luck, it was as if she vanished into thin air, or more likely she was purposely avoiding him. He had cornered her by announcing their date to that reporter, she had been left with no choice but to spend time with him. But Sam sensed she had a stubborn streak, and probably wasn't quite ready to concede defeat, hence the hiding instead of accepting her fate. That would not do. There was too much ground to cover, bridges to cross, for her to hide out all night. She had to spend time with him, and like it. Everything depended on her.
"Hey," said Mike, popping up in front of Sam's face. "Kali just sent me over here to check on you. You look like you could use a drink little brother."
He did, single malt, hold the ice, would have been perfect. "I wish. Not allowed."
"Yeah tough break," Mike said with a smile. "But I'm sure you don't want to fall out in the middle of the room again."
"Doesn't sound half bad at this point. Passing out, getting swallowed up by the floor either will work."
Or even better running off with Quinn, Sam still couldn't believe she had actually suggested that. In his dreams she had said those very words so many times. While in Afghanistan, he would imagine her suddenly appearing, taking his hand, and leading him to some place lush and tropical. Being away with her, being anywhere with her actually, had always been a dream of his. Now it seemed his dreams were hers too.
"Can I get two root beers please?" Mike asked the bartender before taking a seat on the stool beside Sam. "What's going on?"
"Oh nothing out of the ordinary just my usual life, you know Quinn walking in on me kissing Mercedes, then Mercedes once again walking away."
Quinn said she thought Mercedes set that kiss up. Didn't seem likely to Sam, he had been there, practically instigating the whole thing. Not that he wanted to share any of this with Quinn, but he had wanted to kiss Mercedes in that moment, actually the desire to kiss Mercedes was fairly constant now, sort of a running buzz in his brain.
"So why is Cede mad?" asked Mike picking up the bottle of root beer the bartender placed in front of him.
"Mercedes is mad because according to her I'm upset that Quinn saw the kiss."
Sam picked up his bottle letting the coldness spread all over his hand. It was getting to be too much, the juggling of two women, and he'd only just begun this circus act. He would have to manage this for almost a year, and he wasn't sure he had it in him to pull it off. He wasn't the type to want more than one woman. He'd never seen the point. Sam always thought it was better to become deeply involved with one person, sharing himself completely and achieving the intimacy from that closeness, than trying to divide the pie and spread bits of himself around. He was so much better at full potency.
"Are you upset she saw the kiss?"
Mike was asking some pretty obvious questions tonight. Of course he was upset Quinn saw him with Mercedes. Quinn was the woman he loved, the one he wanted a life with. It killed him that she could even for a second question that. And he knew seeing him with Mercedes was doing just that, making her doubt them, and their future.
"Well yeah. I really don't like hurting her and tonight I can't seem to stop doing just that."
"Quinn has no right to be hurt by anything," he said coldly.
Sam couldn't believe what he was hearing. Where was his compassion? He had known Quinn as long as Sam had, they weren't close, but they were friendly. "I came in here with Mercedes tonight, and not her."
"As you should have. Quinn should know the mistress always comes second to the wife."
"She's not my mistress," Sam replied through clenched teeth. He got so upset every time he heard her referred to in that way, but it was getting harder and harder to dispute it, now that the photo of them at the hotel was making the rounds. "I don't want her to think that what I feel for her is somehow less important because of my situation with Mercedes."
"Marriage definitely is a situation," Mike chuckled.
"You know what I mean. It's not like I chose to be married to Mercedes."
"Oh, but you did, and I was witness to it. I was the best man, handed you the rings, watched your face light up like a Christmas tree when the minister made it official."
"That was another life." Completely surreal to hear stories about this life he had lived but had forgotten. He could almost picture himself reacting that way on his wedding day, but in his mind the bride was someone else entirely.
"It was your life, and like it or not, you still have to live it."
Sam let his forehead fall onto the bar. "Can you put me out of my misery please?" Mike patted him on the back, probably in pity for his pathetic existence. "I'm supposed to be sweeping Mercedes off her feet tonight, giving her the date of her life, so she will stay with me."
"So you can keep Dwight happy and Quinn free?"
"Yeah, mostly." He lifted his head and looked at Mike. "But I have little hope of doing that now between paparazzi shots, Quinn going off on Mercedes, and your big mouth, I'm screwed."
"I didn't do anything bro. I kept your little secret."
"Except when you told Kurt."
"I thought you had already explained it to Cede by then."
"Well I hadn't and now everything is so messed up." He ran his hand over the back of his neck, feeling the welts Mercedes had given him earlier. She had scratched him good in front of that reporter. Sam hadn't expected such a negative physical response to his tactics, since she had just kissed him not that long before.
"Good you deserve this, playing games with two women never leads to anything positive."
Sam took a swallow of his root beer. "As always your support astounds."
"I am supporting you. I could've gone to Cede last night and told her about Quinn, God knows I considered it."
"If you had done that I would have to beat the crap out of you."
"Seriously? Mr. Skin and Bones." Mike laughed. "You were going to take me out?"
"Okay well maybe not now, but in a few weeks when I'm stronger."
"You'd need more than a few weeks. You've had your whole life and you still have never been able to take me. Maybe if you got Puck to help you."
That much was true, Sam had tried many times in his life to beat his brother in a fight, in a race, even in arm wrestling, and each time he failed. Mike was just stronger and quicker than he was, always had been. Some might say he was a glutton for punishment, but Sam wasn't ready to give up just yet, one day he was sure he would beat Mike at something, even if it was a walker relay race when they were both old and living in the retirement village.
"Puck won't do it. He's on Mercedes' side." Par for the course with Puck, he'd take any side that wasn't Sam's.
"Hate to break it to you Sam, but almost all of America is on Mercedes' side. You would be too if you didn't have string cheese for brains."
"Nothing against Mercedes, but she's not who I want. I told you how I felt about Quinn last night."
"Then why were you kissing her? From what you say, Quinn is ready to jump back in your life, so why the lip lock with wifey?"
Because he needed to understand her, to get behind the sadness in her eyes, because her pouty lips enticed him, and that hint of anger that often crossed her face was so sexy. Because she looked at him like he was everything, even when she was telling him he was nothing. Her eyes gave her away, reflecting all she didn't say, and so much was about him, the silent sighs, the hidden smiles, the tears. Overwhelming and alluring at once, he was drawn to her, yet desperate to flee her presence. She was too much, demanding he be someone he lost with every touch, every look, her pain threatened to consume him, pull him down and keep him chained to her until he could take it all away. A part of him longed to do that, to be the one she needed, the one she missed. She made him feel like a hero, just by giving her a smile, just for the simple fact he was breathing. Sam had never been loved like that, not that he remembered, and he was tempted by it, attracted to it, he didn't want to walk away from something that felt so big, not without understanding it, not without having just a taste.
"I don't have to explain why I was kissing my wife," he said forcing himself out of his own head.
"Exactly and you don't have to explain anything to Quinn either, so stop feeling guilty about doing something you're legally entitled to do."
"Maybe we shouldn't be having this conversation where anyone can hear."
Sam looked around as the seats at the bar began filling up. He was so easily consumed by his own problems that he kept forgetting that his life was fodder for gossips and hacks. For all he knew the guy sitting two stools down could be recording the conversation. What a scoop he'd have if he did. Sam Evans married to one woman but wanting another. That wasn't really breaking news, happened daily, but when he threw in the fact that he had to trick the wife he didn't want into staying married in order to be with his other woman, then things got juicier. He was pretty good at this newsworthy story thing, maybe he should look into running D&E Media, since he was no longer CEO.
"I don't see the need for secrecy everyone in this room has seen that photo of you with Quinn, they all know you are stepping out on your wife. The cat is out of the bag. What you have to do now is figure out your next step. Are you going to throw in the towel and take your chances with Dwight? You never know he might let Quinn stay free."
"I wouldn't count on it." That sounded too much like mercy. Dwight Evans didn't know how to even pronounce that word.
"Then you better make it right with Cede because you are pretty much out of options."
"I thought you were going to give me some ideas, some solutions, you're just telling me shit I already know."
"Here's an idea," Mike spun around in his chair to face Sam. "Forget about Quinn, let her go and focus on being a good husband and father."
Sam turned back toward the bar, and took another sip. "I meant a doable idea." Forgetting Quinn was not an option, not even a choice, nothing had ever let him forget her, even when he was desperate to do just that.
"You've been without Quinn for years, this should come easy to you." Mike joked. "Put her out of your mind, pretend she's unavailable, hell pretend she's still sleeping with me if you have to."
Sam froze, gulping down his mouthful of root beer. "What did you just say?" he asked, slowly facing his brother.