Chapter 44

Fingers through her hair, his soft lips pressed against hers, once, twice, and again, his words tickling her nose, warm and intoxicating even when she had no clue what he meant. Filling her with a restless anticipation, making her curious to know what lied beyond the little pleasures his mouth was giving. There was more behind those kisses, something hidden, but ready to be revealed, if only she could get close enough, get him to open himself and let her into the secret places he liked to reside. Her mind flashed back to Sam's hands on her face, his lips on his skin, going deeper this time, pulling her under, taking her away...

"Do you hear that?"

"What?" Her mind was disgruntled by the intrusion. Why was someone talking to her now?

"They're playing our song. Are you ready to conga?" asked Finn doing something that looked suspiciously like the cha-cha in front of her.

"We don't have a song, and trust me if we did, it wouldn't be Copacabana." Mercedes looked around Finn's lanky frame for Sam.

Sam had been gone awhile. Mercedes figured that he had been stopped every few feet by guests, so his trek to the bar and back would take twice as long, which was fine with her, she was in no rush to have him back, not until she could get a handle on her composure. The kisses, as chaste and small as they were, really shook her up. She hadn't expected him to be so openly affectionate with her, definitely not in a room filled with people, and certainly not with Quinn lurking about.

"Come on girl, get up and shake something. It's a party. You don't want to waste all this hotness," he said pointing at himself.

"All that sure is something," Mercedes stifled a giggle. "But I think I still will have to pass. Maybe Malika will dance with you."

"Malika's here?" Finn asked his eyes widening.

"Yep. Head nurse Cheryl gave her the night off. You should go find her and pry her away from the rich old dudes I'm sure are stalking her as we speak."

"Tempting, so very, but nope, I think I'd rather stay here and harass you."

"Finn," she said drawing his name out. "I'm waiting for Sam to come back."

Somewhere between dread and anticipation, Mercedes tapped her bare foot against the carpeted floor as she pretended not to once again look for Sam.

"From where? Another secret tryst with Quinn?"

"He's not with Quinn!" Mercedes retorted defensively. It was bad enough everyone in the room knew about the photo and probably knew Quinn was at the party, but at least her so called friends could pretend that her husband had some respect left for her. "He went to the bar."

"Oh. Well I have an idea. Let's be gone before he gets back. He deserves to squirm a little bit. Then when he finds you with me, he'll know firsthand how you're feeling about Quinn being back in town."

Mercedes frowned at the idea. "Something happened. He's upset about Quinn I think."

"And you're going to use that as a way to get closer to him?" he asked leaning forward eagerly.

"No of course not."

"Good because you're better than that. He's YOUR husband, you shouldn't have to kiss his ass for some attention," said Finn noticeably irritated by the situation.

Mercedes regarded him with closer interest, there was always more than met the eye with Finn she was starting to realize. "Getting a little passionate about all this aren't you Finn?"

"I can't help it. I watched my mom go through this with assorted boyfriends all my life. Once things got serious they could barely give her the time of day, just taking up residence on our couch eating all the food. I don't want that for you Cede. You're a good person."

"It's not going to happen to me. I swear. I'll leave before it comes to that." Hopefully, if she could find the strength to give up on the life she had planned with Sam.

"Glad to hear it. So it's settled, you're coming dancing with me." Finn said taking Mercedes' hand and attempting to pull her from her seat. "I think Sam deserves to watch you enjoy yourself with another man, make him see all that he's missing out on sulking over his baby mama."

Mercedes resisted his tugs staying firmly planted in her seat. "I can't play mind games with him, not when he's like this."

The sad look on his face when she found him in the foyer had sucked all the wind out of her. Any enjoyment she planned to get out of pushing his buttons and toying with his emotions tonight vanished with one look at him. Seeing him shaking with anger and pain, twisted her gut so tightly she thought she was the one that was upset. She never could bear to see him break, even when she was the one that was handing out the punishment. He was her weakness and she knew it, didn't even bother to fight it now, losing him to that coma sealed her fate. She cared for him far too much to pretend to be indifferent.

"What happened to our plans? Operation jealous hubby and Kurt told me all about your plot to be the date from hell. Here's our chance to pull it all off."

Finn was really getting into this plotting business. Maybe some of Kurt's Evans side was rubbing off on him.

"I don't want to okay. Sam is hurting and I need to be there for him."

It was funny, she'd never taken care of anyone else in her life before coming to Lima. Her mother never showed her any real love or affection, only faking it after a "job" well done and she pocketed more money earned with her flesh. Mercedes wasn't even sure how to take care of anyone besides herself, but somehow meeting Sam opened up another side of her, bringing out traits she never knew she had. When his mother was sick with cancer, she hadn't been close to him then, their relationship consisted of exchanging barbs in the diner or flirt fighting in the park, but there were moments when the mood shifted and things went deeper than either one of them wanted.

Allowing each other glimpses of their hidden vulnerabilities, it was during these times when the urge to care for him flared. She'd reach out and try to touch his arm or stroke his hair, never quite making contact, but the intention was there, and he knew it. Sam was the bold one. He'd cross the line and touch her, never letting their status as foes prevent him from giving a comforting touch. He could hug her and shake her all in the same conversation and think nothing of it. She loved that about him, how he was so aggressive and impulsive, living his life from his gut, no matter the consequences. Although he did try to hide his true nature, protecting his huge heart, and his sensitive side, but Mercedes always could see through him, spotting the parts he tried to keep under wraps.

"Why?" Finn asked scrunching up his face. "Do you think he'd do the same for you?"

The thought had crossed her mind more than once, that if she and Quinn were trapped in a cage with an angry lion, Sam would probably feed her to the beast in order to set Quinn free. It hadn't escaped Mercedes' attention that Quinn had usurped her position in Sam's heart. That however didn't change how she felt about him. He still was the man she loved more than anything, and she'd still risk her life to help him. If that made her a sucker, so be it, she was stuck in the spot until she could figure out how to get over him.

"Maybe he wouldn't, but I can't turn off how I feel just because he has. I love him."

"He doesn't deserve you at all," said Finn taking a seat in the opposite chair, stretching out his long legs, tangling them with hers. "He has no idea how lucky he is."

"I'm the lucky one. Sam came back, he survived the coma. That's all I've wanted for almost a year and now my dream came true. I can't turn my back on him because things aren't perfect."

Even though that's all she'd been trying to do since he started on his path toward Quinn Fabray. Life would be so much easier for the both of them if she could just cut her losses and let him go. The divorce papers could be resubmitted. They already were in separate households, leading separate lives, ending their marriage would be painless, for him at least. Mercedes had gotten used to living with pain, the dull ache that always throbbed within her might grow a bit with Sam as her ex, but it would be nothing she couldn't manage. Pain management had always been her specialty, and with a little effort she could make herself forget that she ever loved Sam at all. And if she said that enough in her head it just might actually be true.

Beiste had told her a few times while Sam was comatose that the world was still hers for the taking and that Sam wouldn't want her to waste her life waiting for him to come back. When he was sick, the idea of leaving him seemed unthinkable, but now that he had recovered, maybe Beiste was right, the Sam that loved her wouldn't want her to pine for him hopelessly. He would have wanted her to move on, just as Beiste did.

But what about all the subtle hints Sam had been dropping since he woke up? He hadn't said he loved her or anything as definitive as that, but he had been very interested in her at the hospital and since his release there were moments when there was indisputably something between them. Less than half hour ago when he had kissed her so sweetly and mumbled words she couldn't quite make out but seemed so important, she had felt it then, something building between them, their connection renewed or maybe it was his memory breaking through. Mercedes wasn't sure what was happening between them but it felt wrong to walk away before she figured it out.

"I'm not saying turn your back," he said patting her knee. "I'm saying whack some sense into him. Don't let him have it so easy. Play hard to get."

So long had she waited to be with him like this, outside of the hospital, without all the anger, just casually in each other's company. A date with him was exactly what she had wanted, since he asked her in the hospital, making her heart pound, and her cheeks warm at the very idea that Sam Evans wanted to be with her even when he didn't know who she was.

Tonight was that night, and though it had gotten off to a rocky start, Mercedes felt encouraged by their last hour together. Things were starting to fall into place. He was relaxed with her, where he felt free enough to touch her again, and say anything to her, just as he had when he thought she was just his nurse. Sometimes she wished he had never learned the truth about their relationship, and that she had remained just a nurse in his eyes. It almost felt like she would have a better shot with him as an unentangled stranger, maybe some of that mystery would have given her the upper hand over Quinn. Mercedes absolutely hated that she felt like she had to fight another woman for her husband's affection, but Quinn had made it clear in the upstairs hall, that she most certainly was staking her own claim on Sam's heart.

"What's the point? He already has me. His doubts about that are what got us into this mess in the first place. I don't want to do that to him again. I don't ever want him to have to question my love."

That was her one advantage. She loved him, completely, and truly. Maybe now Quinn did too, and perhaps she had in the past, but Mercedes knew without a doubt that no other woman had ever loved him the way she did. Inside and out, flaws and faults, through all the mess of his illness, through his hate and denial, his lips might make her melt, but it was the complexity of his heart and spirit that really made her want him in her life. He was everything in one very complicated, dangerous, sweet, good man, and Mercedes didn't want to let him go. If she could only convince him of her love, then maybe he'd realize that she was someone worth having in his life.

"He doesn't remember that stuff Cede," Finn reminded her.

"But I do," Mercedes said to herself as Finn wandered away.

She was in it alone until he remembered, and as scary as it felt to be the sole sustainer of their relationship, she knew she had to do it. As Puck, Sue, Emma, Kurt, and so many others in his family reminded her, he would have without a doubt done the same for her.

"Hey," he said against her ear as he reached over her shoulder to put the bottles of water on the table in front of her. Mercedes shivered at the proximity, and the subtle fresh scent of his aftershave. "I'm back with the water."

"Hi," she said looking up into his eyes with a smile, praying he couldn't feel how much her pulse had sped up since he got so close. "I've been waiting for you."

Both arms on each side of her trapping her between his body and the table, she was smothered by Sam in the best possible sense.

"I was afraid you might have vanished while I was gone. I know I got a little weird before, with all the…" he trailed off, his face reddening, a shy smile on his face. He seemed a bit nervous, which was so cute.

"No, no...I like weird," she said, still unable to tear herself away from his eyes that stared upside down at her.

"You like weird?" he asked, leaning closer, his forehead grazing hers.

"Well, I like you." Her cheeks warmed and Mercedes just knew if she were shades lighter she would be turning all sorts of embarrassing colors. She'd been with him long enough not to be this flustered, yet here she was seriously feeling like it was a first date.

"Good," he said turning the chair around so that they were now facing each other. "I like you too." Sam's hands fell to her thighs, gripping them slightly as he connected with her eyes once more.

"Oh my bad, am I interrupting the eye sex?" asked Finn clearing his throat loudly.

Mercedes shook herself free from Sam, bringing herself back into the moment and focusing on Finn sitting across from them.

"Finn, oh, you're back," said Mercedes trying to rev up some enthusiasm for his reappearance. Finn's timing couldn't have been any worse.

"Doesn't look like you missed me though," he snickered. "Sam," he said loudly. "Happy Birthday dude!"

Sam finally looked at Finn, running his hand roughly through his cropped hair. He had been doing his best to ignore him, but Mercedes had felt him tense the moment Finn sat down.

"What the hell," he scowled straightening up and moving away from Mercedes. "Why is he here and in my seat?"
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