Right. I'm back. This is the next chapter. :D Shout out to JemmaPOND! Thanks for reviewing. You made my day. :)
(Please note that the majority of this story will be told from Jane's point of view. Occasionally I'll write from Rose's perspective but only when it's necessary.)
Disclaimer: Does it need saying?
-I don't look up again, and I don't pay attention for a long time. It isn't until I hear "her" that I start listening.-
"Whaddya got?" I recognize her without even looking up. But I can't be sure. I don't trust myself after being in the dark for so long. I raise my head to come face to face with the owner of the new voice. Rose Tyler. As we make eye contact her lips part in what I label as surprise. Does she recognised me somehow? Is there another me?
She turns to Mickey. "Where did she come from?" He answers her "She came through the wall. There was a lot of artron energy in our readings." Artron energy? I remember that from some episode. I think it had to do with background radiation on the TARDIS but I'm not certain. It's been a awhile since I heard it mentioned.
"Get me some 3D glasses." Rose's voice brings me back to the room. It doesn't take long for someone to get some to her. At least I remember why she wants them. No one could forget Ten wearing those red and blue lensed glasses and making jokes about Jackie. Classic Whovian knowledge. He used them to see the void stuff on people. Now I'm sitting here and Rose is looking at me with those glasses. Her expression is blank. This makes sense to me. It would explain that dark place I was in. Maybe it was the void. Ive got to be in a different dimension because I don't like the alternative. But I have to know for certain. "Well, am I covered in void stuff or not?"
It seems to take a long time for her to take off the glasses and look at me. "You are." Maybe it's not what I wanted to hear. On one hand it's an explanation to what happened. On the other hand, it shouldn't have happened. This is fiction for cryin out loud! It's fake. As in not real. Yet I'm sitting here, talking to these not real people. I can't go home. Not after this. I can't go back to my broken world knowing that this all exists because I will never see fiction the same way. I will have no escape. Everything I thought was real...what if that was the fake? I resolve that I will stay. I don't have much of a choice anyway. Never mind where I am, it should be impossible to get here in the first place.
"You know about different dimensions. You want to tell me how you got here." "I don't know." It's not a lie, but it isn't the truth either so I look down at myself again. "It doesn't just happen by accident. Who are you? Why are you here?" "I don't know how I got here," I tell her. "Who are you," she pauses waiting for me to explain. "Answer me!" "I can't! I don't know how I got here! I don't know what the consequences of my presence here will be. I don't know if it's safe for me to say anything, whether it's my name, where I'm from or what I know about anything. As to why I'm here, I'm chalking that up to be some kind of sick and twisted joke that the universe is playing on us!"
I hadn't realized that I had thought of all that until it was out of my mouth but I suddenly realize how true it is. I know too much to go home and I know too much to stay. I have no idea where that leaves me and I'm terrified. I can't help the choked sob that comes out of me. But I refuse to start crying yet. Not in front of these people who don't know me. Not where all of them would want to take me apart for answers. I may think I know a couple of them but how can I? I've seen bits and pieces. Not the whole picture.
I'm surprised when Rose kneels down in front of me. Not because I never knew she was kind, but because she's never been kind to me personally. "Are you alright?" I take a shaky breath. "I'm always alright." I can't help but say it. I've been hearing the Doctor say it for years but this is the first time that I actually understand what he meant by it. He never meant he was alright which we all knew anyway. He meant that he was going to be. Someday. Even if it wasn't for another hundred years before he was.
"Are you sure you can't tell me your name?" I look back at her to see her searching for me to lie. So I don't. "I'm not sure of anything anymore. But you need something to call me so...Jane will be fine. You can call me Jane." Jane is safe. Jane is the girl version of John. It's simple and easily forgotten. "Hello Jane. My name's Rose." All I can do is nod. I can't just say that I know. She doesn't trust me enough as it is. "Can you tell me what happened Jane." I can't help but be a little sarcastic. It's how I cope with fear. "I was on my way to visit family in America. The plane must have taken a wrong turn. We were ripped apart. I was falling and it was dark, and then I was here. People freaked out and tied me to a chair. End of story."
Rose gets a faraway look on her face. I fell like she did. I know who she's thinking about. "You'll get back." I don't know why I say it. I just think she needs to hear it. She looks at me with a bit of anger in her eyes. I can see the bad wolf there even without the gold light of the vortex. "Back where?" Her reaction tells me everything. This is after doomsday but before journey's end. All at once I find something to do with myself. I can't go home.I know staying is dangerous but I can do more here than I could there any way. "Back to him. The Doctor. The stars are going out aren't they? Let me help I know what to do. I have no other purpose any more. This isn't my world. My goals are gone. My family is gone. My faith has shattered. Let me help you. Maybe then it won't hurt so much."
"How do you know about the Doctor," she asks me with voice barely above a whisper. I didn't think about that. I need to answer so I continue with my tell a variation of the truth strategy. "I know both the Doctor and you in my universe." Her eyes widen slightly at this. Then she gives a subtle nod of agreement. She believes me. "Do you know us well?" "I know from the word 'run.'" It's the truth. I do know from that point. But I know there are things I don't know. I'm figuring that I'll learn quickly.
"Are you me?" I wasn't expecting that. "No." Then again I met him the same time she did. I ran with them. I never stopped. "Well, in a way maybe. We're similar in a way I guess. But no. I'm not you. I'm me. I will only ever be me since I've got nothing else left anyway. Wow. Never thought I could be so cryptic. I'm like that mysterious character in a tv show that never really has a backstory. They just help and talk in riddles and do awesome stunts. I wonder if I'll do awesome stunts." I'm scared I'm going to say too much so I try to say a lot of nothing. "I think you hung out with himself a little too long. You kind of sound like him." Or maybe I just learned that from him. This seems to be a good time to give some sort of back story. Stay as close to the truth as possible. "I was fourteen when I started w...traveling with you. So yeah. I guess maybe I picked up a few of his habits." That was almost a little too close to the truth.
"Mickey! Come let this girl out will ya?" "You're the boss babe." He comes and cuts my bonds and I rub my wrists as I stand stiffly. "Sorry about that. We can't be too careful." I give him a tight smile and a nod of acknowledgment. I'm worried about how much I can give away with simple reactions so I'm trying to be non committed.
"So...are you going to let me help you?" She didn't answer me before when I said I could help. I need her to let me help. I'm actually a bit excited by the idea. It's not everyday you get to help save the fictional hero. "Yeah, but first you need to eat and get some rest. You can stay with me until we can find your own place." "Are ya sure that's such a good idea Rose? We don't know anything about this girl."
I nod my head. "He's got a point." She looks and me closely. "You gonna murder me in my sleep?" "No." The thought never even crossed my mind. What would that do to the time lines? "Then I don't see the problem. It's late. There's no time to find you somewhere else and you look like you're about to fall over so you need to rest as soon as possible. Beside," she looks sternly at Mickey. "I can take care of myself just fine." "I know that babe. But your mum worries ya know?" Rose looks like her shoulders just became a little heavier. "Yeah. I know."
I'm not sure what to do with myself now. I don't know what to say, but Rose saves me from having to say anything. "Come on Jane. Let's go have a cuppa and then go to bed." I take a deep breath and follow her out but not without the feeling of Mickey's eyes boring into my back like he could stop me from hurting her. It's really not necessary but I'm not going to try telling him that.
DWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDW
The drive is quiet. I can't take my eyes away from the window. The world looks so different here. From the zeppelins in the sky to the people on the street. It's so similar and yet so different. I can't put my finger on it, but it's something in the air. The energy that hums underneath the city isn't the same.
The silence is loud inside the car. I don't notice until Rose starts fidgeting next to me. The driver in the front seat seems oblivious to his passengers. I turn to see Rose looking at me from the corner of her eye. I look back out the window trying to pretend for a moment that I'm simply driving home with my dad. It doesn't work.
I can feel Rose biting her tongue. "Why don't you just ask me whatever it is you're dying to know." I hear Rose sigh but I don't look away from the world outside. "You said you were fourteen when you started traveling with alternate versions of us. I was wondering how long ago that was." I clench my teeth together before replying. "That's just a backward way of asking for my age." I pause for a moment. I can't think of a reason not to tell her the truth on this so I don't. "Almost four years. I'll be eighteen in a few months. Or maybe I already am. I don't know how long I was in the void. Or if you even can age in there."
When she speaks again I can barely hear her. "What was it like? In the void?" I'm surprised she asked this soon. I suspected that she might at some point. Many will if they know that I was there. But Rose especially. It was very nearly her own fate if her father hadn't caught her at the last moment. "You don't have to answer...I was just curious." I realize that I had been lost in my thoughts too long to answer. "No it's fine." I squeeze my eyes shut and then face forward.
"It's dark, like you'd expect. And quiet. So quiet that your ears start to ring, it sounds like someone's screaming. Until you get use to it. It cold. And thick. Hard to breathe, hard to move. You don't get hungry, or thirsty. You do get tired, but it doesn't matter. Cause you can't fa asleep. You're too lonely sleep. It's too quiet to sleep."
We don't talk again for the rest of the drive. When we stop, I follow her blindly into the apartment. She leads me to a room and I know she says something about me being able to sleep here but I'm still lost in remembering. I'm remembering the days leading up to the plane. I'm remembering the last time I talked to my mum. Did I tell her I loved her? Did I tell my dad know how thankful I was that he let me stay with him?
I know it's no use breaking it down like that but I can't help myself. I numbly sink down into the bed, and I feel when Rose leaves the room and shuts the door. I curl up and wrap the soft pink blanket around me and let myself cry. The sobs warp my body and my tears soak through the sheets. I don't care. It's a long time before sleep finally takes me. And when it does it provides no comfort. I wake up often to more tears. I wish the nightmares were frightening. I wish I would dream of the void. Instead I dream about regret, and it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. All I want is for the sun to come. I haven't seen it in so long. I miss it. I never thought it would be something I missed.
DWDWDWDWDWDW
The fourth time I wake up the room is lighter. There is warmth pouring through the window and I'm drawn to it. I slowly walk to it and part the curtains. The sight outside I wouldn't normally consider very scenic but not today. Today, it's the most beautiful thing I've seen in my life. It's so bright that I have to squint but I don't care. I close my eyes and bask in the warmth. Even with my eyes closed it's not dark anymore. It's a deep red-orange color and no longer black.
I hear a clattering sound outside my door and turn to go see what is going on. I open the door to see Rose in the kitchen. I assume she's making tea. I walk in slowly. I don't want to startle her. She looks up and sees me and gives me a little smile. I can tell that it's forced, and I know that I must look pathetic. There are dark circles under eyes so I can tell she didn't sleep well either.
"How you feeling this morning Jane?" "I've been better." She looks back at what she was doing and I know that she knows what I mean. I've never been worse either. "You hungry?" "Yeah" I sit down on the stool at the counter as she places a plate in front of me. Eggs with spinach and cheese sit in the middle of it. She places a fork by it and looks at me expectantly over her mug. I can't help the small laugh that escapes me. "What's funny?" she asks sounding slightly offended. "Nothing, I just, didn't know you cooked."
She places her tea down. "I didn't. I picked it up after getting trapped here. I needed something to do." "Didn't you start working at Torchwood?" She shrugs one shoulder. "Not at first. I was too...emotional at first. Cooking helped. After I did start working there I kept it up. It helps to keep moving." I take a bite. It's good, but I knew it would be. It smelled delicious. But even if it's the worse meal in the world I would like it. I haven't eaten in very long time.
"Maybe I should find a hobby too." She smiles sadly as she pours tea into two cups. "Yeah, that might be a good idea. Though you said you could help me." She's trying to be patient. I'm her best lead to get back to her original universe and she doesn't want to rush me, but at the same time...I'm all she's got. "Yeah. I can help. I don't know many details, but I can set you in the right direction. Get you thinking about the right solution. I'll need to talk to your best scientists, see of they can find a way to use what I know. But I have to warn you that it isn't much. I never heard all the mumbo-jumbo. Just a simple description."
She hands me the tea and presents lemon and milk and honey if I want it. I pour in the honey and stir it slowly. "It's better than nothing. You're right. The stars are going out. It won't be long before our own star dies. The consequences of that would be..." I take a long sip and then nod. There's no reason for her to finish that sentence. The thought of being in the dark again...of everyone being in the dark, it's not a pleasant thing to think about.
"We should go in today. The sooner we get started the better." Rose looks at me thoughtfully. "Are you sure you want to do that. You might want to rest more, so our mind can think straight." "I need to do something Rose. You understand that don't you? You wouldn't have started cooking of you didn't." She takes a deep breath and then releases it slowly. "Okay. You can take a shower. The bathroom is through that door. I'll leave something for you to borrow in the room you slept in." "Thank you." I watch as she goes through another door. I assume it leads to her room. I look down and see that I managed to finish eating. I didn't even notice. I down the rest of my tea and then head to the bathroom. I hope a shower will make feel at least halfway human again.
DWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDW
When I get back into 'my' room there is a pair of gray drawstring sweatpants and a white and purple tee with some socks on top. I get dressed and put on my own shoes and my red hoodie. The familiar covering is comforting to me. I finger comb my hair back into the high pony tail. It's easier to keep it out of my face.
When I come out Rose is grabbing her keys off the counter. She hears me enter and turns to face me. "Ready to go?" I nod and we head out the door to the same black car from last night. The driver stands holding the door open as Rose slides into the seat. For the first time I take note of his appearance. "You're ginger," I say without thinking. "Yes," he says holtly. "Is that a problem?" "No, no. Just making an observation that's all. He nods and I get into the car.
"Do you want to go the back way today Miss Rose." "Yes Danny, that would be great." I shoot a questioning look at Rose. She answers my silent question. "Danny is my driver slash sort of bodyguard. He lives just a few doors down from me. My dad hired him after I moved out." It sounds like something Pete would do. "Why'd you move out." "My little brother was born. I don't plan on staying here forever, I'd rather he not get too attached."
"Wouldn't it be better for him to grow attached and then miss you rather than to have no one to miss but a story?" Rose shrugs. "Maybe." "Or maybe you're the one who doesn't want to get attached." She looks at me sharply and I know I shouldn't have said it. "I get that I'm at a disadvantage not knowing you when you know me, but Id appreciate you not using your knowledge against me." "I don't make promises. They're too easily broken." She accepts this with an incline of her head and we continue in silence.
It's true that I don't make promises. My parents promised to stay together, my dad promised to come home sooner, I promised to be careful while traveling. Promises that are all broken now. The plane wasn't my fault, but in my mind I'm still traveling. And what I'm doing now is definitely not me being careful. Promises are lies told in advance. Of course now, I'm living a lie. What would one more be?
I'm broken from my musing when the car stops. The driver, Danny opens my door and I get out, followed by Rose. "Thanks Danny." "You're welcome Miss Rose. Miss Jane." With that Danny got back into the car and I followed Rose into the Torchwood office, Canary wharf.
We make our way through checkpoints and everyone knows Rose and greets her as Miss Tyler at every turn. She returns every one with a smile and knows their names and asks questions about their families. It's impressive how much she remembers. When we make it to the lab, Mickey is already there with several others I don't recognize and a couple I do. Pete Tyler and Jake Simmons.
"Hi dad." "Hi sweetheart." Rose and Pete greet each other with a hug. "Mickey tells me that this girl came through the void last night." "Yeah, dad this is Jane, Jane this is my dad, Pete Tyler, the director of Torchwood." "Nice to meet you sir," I say as I shake his hand. He smiles kindly at me and I feel like I can breathe again. He's a man I want to stay on the good side of.
"You've met Mickey Smith. This is Jake Simmons." "Hello." Jake looks at me with narrow eyes. I can tell that he and Mickey spend a lot of time together. If I don't earn some respect soon I doubt either of them will ever accept me. "Look, you don't have to trust me, you don't even have to like me. But the darkness is spreading not just through this universe but through the entire multiverse. You have no choice but to listen to me. All I ask is that you at least try to look at me like you don't hate me and wish I was dead. Give me a chance before you decide I'm a threat. Let me prove myself. Because like it or not I'm all you got."
Mickey and Jake exchange a look and I can see the silent conversation. They seem to come to an agreement and they both give me a nod. So, I guess I got their attention, maybe a little respect but I don't want to take too much too soon. "Okay. Thank you." "Why don't we step into the conference room and you can brief us on the situation Jane." With that, the three of us follow Director Tyler out of the lab and down the hall to a large room with a lot of chairs around a big table. A typical conference room.
They all sit while I remain standing. Pete asks the question, "So what exactly are we looking at here? Why are the stars disappearing?" They all look at me expectantly and my head spins. I notice a white board and walk toward it as I gather my thoughts. What is the situation? Well, Daleks are stealing planets to make a weapon to destroy all matter. I think back to journey's end. Rose showed up with a gun. So did Mickey. Big guns, and they weren't surprised. They knew what they were dealing with. Which means it's safe to tell them that.
By this time I have absentmindedly picked up a marker. I pull off the cap and write on the board. D-A-L-E-K.