Sorry this is such a short chapter. I might post the next chapter before next Monday to make up for it. But don't hold me to that. :P
Disclaimer: in case it does need saying, I don't own doctor who. Unless you count Jane. She's mine.
Chapter 4-
Every night Rose and I get back to the flat and eat while watching whatever is on. I never pay attention and she doesn't either. It's our excuse for not talking while not having to suffer the silence at the same time. It's never long before one of us heads to bed. We don't always share. Only on the nights that the nightmares make it impossible to manage the dark alone. I find that I'm still in the void. I'm still trying to find my way out of the metaphorical dark. I can almost see the humor in the thought.
Rose and I do talk from time to time. Sometimes the tellie doesn't do its job. Sometimes neither of us is brave enough to sleep. So we talk. It's always about nothing. But nothing can fill the time better than anything else.
We ask the stupid questions. Favorite color: mine is red and hers is pink. No surprise there. Favorite kind of day: crisp and sunny. Least favorite person in school. Dream house growing up. Pets. Favorite and least favorite foods, animals, songs, movies, books. Slowly we get closer. Slowly, she's more than a character on a TV show I once watched. Slowly, she begins to accept me more than she did before. It's the difference between trust and faith. Acquaintances and friends.
Day 56 is when I meet her mother. I'm nervous the whole way there, and seriously don't want to go. But Rose keeps telling me that if I want to stay with her than Mrs. Tyler is going to want to know who I am. Jackie already had a dinner planned and I've been advised not to miss it.
So we go. But I go under protest. There's no reason to knock when we get there since it's Rose's family. We just walk in. A little blond boy came barreling around the corner almost immediately. "Wosie! Wosie! Look! I 'av a hairplane!" The smile on his face and excitement in his voice is contagious. I can't help but give a grin at how he throws himself into his sister's arms. It's obviously Tony. "Do you now?" Rose examines the little toy airplane that he shows her so happily. "It's very nice."
She smiles at him and puts him down since he is squirming and doesn't want to be held. He runs off shouting to his dad that "Wosie likes my plane and you should get 'er one too!" I look at Rose and see she still has a little smile. "How old is he?" "Two. But he'll tell ya he's two and a half." I nod my understanding. A typical toddler determined to grow up. What I wouldn't give to be so young again. Things were so much simpler then.
Dinner is served almost immediately after that. We sit down at the table and I get properly introduced. Things are calm at first. But of course Tony is determined to make a mess of the pasta and Jackie keeps scolding his manners. She fusses per him and Rose is equal measure if in different ways. Pete wisely stays quiet throughout her tangents, smiling at me apologetically from time to time. I try to convey that I don't really mine.
Then of course the topic of conversation turns to me. We tell a bit more about how I got here though I leave out as many details as possible. Jackie try's asking about my past but I make it clear that it's not option for discussion. She proceeds to lecture me on rudeness. I respond how any Whovian would. "Well that's me. Rude and not ginger. Jackie gives me a funny look but get destructed by Tony dropping his silly cup. Pete notices nothing as far as I can tell. But Rose looks at me with an odd expression. She's remembering I can tell, but she's also upset I think. I catch her eye and mumble a sorry that she seems to accept.
Dinner continued with no more mishaps. The drive home isn't awkward per say but it's far from comfortable either. "You knew him well." I look at her surprised. "You figured that already." "Yeah but...I haven't heard you quote him before." I'm sure she has, just not an episode she knows. But I won't tell her that. "I'm sorry if I shouldn't have done that." "No it's fine. I do it too. I spent so much time with him. I'm bound to pick up some of what he said. He always had a bit of a gob on him." "True."
DWDWDWDWDW DWDWDWDWDW
When Rose and Jane got back to the flat Jane headed straight to bed, but Rose stays awake on the couch for a while longer. What Jane said at dinner sends her deep in thought. She's such a reminder of him. Again.
It's almost painful for Rose sometimes to have to see so many things that are characteristic of him. Yet at the same time it's comforting. Almost as if Jane was sent here to be the motivator to get back to him.
It's strange just how much Jane knows and yet how little she does too. On one hand she knows details of certain conversations and where they went and who they met and who died. Other times it was like she knew nothing. Like she was only there for the dangerous parts. Like she couldn't see the whole picture.
Maybe she didn't travel with them all the time? Maybe she was only there on certain trips? It doesn't really matter though. Who cares how much she knows or how she knows it? Getting home is all that matters. It was a long time before Rose realized that home didn't mean or original universe. It didn't even mean the TARDIS. It meant him. It meant the Doctor.
Oh how she missed him. The traveling too. She missed seeing new worlds and holding his hand while exploring them. She missed all of it. This universe just wasn't the same. It felt wrong. It didn't seem to like her. It always felt...itchy. She thinks it's probably because she never existed here before.
Which brings her back to the fact that Jane didn't either. Or maybe she did or still does. Without her real name she can't look her up. Which brings her back to the Doctor. She never knew his real name either. Always just the Doctor, always just Jane Ryder.
Brown eyed small little Jane Ryder. The best word that comes to mind to describe her enigmatic. Which reminds her of the Face of Boe and New Earth and the Doctor again.
Around and around her mind spins like this. Each thought leading her between two major figures in her life. The Doctor and Jane. Even after all this time of not seeing him and even after such a short time of knowing her, they each have somehow become the things that never stray from her thoughts.
It's hours before she goes to bed. And when she does her dreams continue the same train of thought as her musings on the couch. It's a dream that leaves Rose feeling a bit insecure in how everything will work out. If Jane is sort of like her, does she love the Doctor too? And did her Doctor love her back? Rose decides it's a question that should not be answered. But her mind won't stop asking.