Thanks for the feedback 10 Squad 3rd Seat! :D I'm going to start spreading the dialogue out. It does definitely read better so thank you.

Nobel. Oops. (*grins sheepishly*) It should be Noble as in Donna Noble. Thanks for catching that.

Alright. The sooner we move forward, the sooner I can make the cannon work and then the real adventure can start. (*rubs hands together*) So, Allons-y!

Disclaimer: still waiting for BBC to give it to me but...at least Jane is mine.

I needed a new pair of jeans. Mine were getting a holes in them all over the place. I don't normally get them unless I put them there so it's a bit odd. Then again, I have been walking everywhere. Even with access to the Tyler car and Roses driver I still didn't use it that much. I didn't like Danny much anyway. He reminded me of Donna in a way, with his sassy nature and take no prisoners attitude and I love donna. But seeing her as a guy is just...no. Just no. That's all I can say about it. N-O.

But anyway, that is the reason I find myself at the department store. Looking for a good pair of comfortable jeans. It's really not that hard so I go to move on when I pass a rack that catches my eye. It's filled with leather jackets that are on clearance. And one in particular stands out to me. It's blue. Almost TARDIS blue but not quite right. I move over to it and take off the rack, slipping it on to see if it's really like the one I'm thinking of.

I turn to look at the mirror that isn't too far from me I smirk slightly. It is. It has to be. Even though it's been too long for me to really remember details anymore, I remember enough. This is the jacket that Rose wears when she's dimension hopping. I get out my journal just to be sure.

A few months ago I got my self a journal so that I could write some important things down. I started at the beginning. Season one, episode one. I moved through the list in the order that I could remember even though I know it isn't exactly right, and record everything about that episode that I can remember.

So I flip through the pages until I find the drawing that I did of that leather jacket. According to my memory, it's almost perfect. Which has got to mean that it is, since my memory isn't. It strikes me for a moment that my little book is a lot like that Journal of impossible things that John Smith had in the family of blood episode. Or was it journal of impossible dreams not things? I don't remember but I figure it doesn't matter.

I head home with both my new comfy jeans and a blue leather jacket that I know Rose will love. On the way, I pick up some curry or dinner. It's one thing that I admit is better in this universe. The curry back home was never so delicious. I always liked it, but here it is absolutely devine. And I know Rose agrees, and it's my turn to pick up dinner so I stop at the little Thai place to get it.

Rose gets home not long after me and let's out a huff as she flops on the couch.

"Do I smell curry?" I laugh.

"Of course."

"Mmm. I know we had it like three days ago but I was totally craving it today. You read my mind."

"No. I just really wanted it again. It's just lucky that you agree with me."

I hand her the bowl of deliciousness and sit down with mine.

"Well, great minds think alike." I nod in agreement since my mouth is already full.

We eat in silence. The curry is far too good to be talked over. But as we finish up and start to head back to couch to turn on the tellie I grab the bag and toss it to Rose.

"Oi. What's this?"

"I saw it at the store today and thought you'd like it."

She takes it out and unfolds it. She turns it back and forth before slipping it on. She steps over to the hall mirror and looks it over. Turing this way and that before getting a big grin on her face.

"It's perfect. I love it."

"I knew you would."

And I settle in for old reruns of a show that hadn't existed back home. And then she places a box in my lap. I raise an eyebrow at her and she indicates that she wants me to open it. So I do. Inside, there is a set of earrings shaped like bows with a matching necklace. Three little red bows a neat in the box.

"You're always wearing that shirt that says bow ties are cool on it. I thought I'd better get you some actual cool bows before you decided you should actually start wearing a tie."

I feel my eyes tear up as I finger them and them I start giggling.

"Yeah. That's smart thinking. Thank you, but why? You didn't have to get me these."

"You didn't have to get me a jacket either. Besides. Next week is our anniversary."

She says the last part with her tongue touch grin but sad eyes and I cock my head at her.

She smiles sadly and says, "Next week will be the first year anniversary that you came here."

"Ah. Well, happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary." We then turn our attention back to the tellie.

I only half pay attention though. I still laugh at all the jokes and such but my thoughts remain on our conversation. 365 days. That's how long I've been here. I stopped counting after day 100. It was better that way. I needed to focus on other things, rather than counting days as if I was a prisoner. I really wasn't one.

When the canon is working I know that in all likelihood I could simply go home. I could find my dimension just like Rose will find hers. But Rose asked me why I wouldn't do that a little while ago. And I told her the truth. My family thinks that I'm dead. If I go back, it wouldn't make sense. Because they would see how much I'd changed. My dad could read me far too easily.

If I went back and no time had passed, I still would be aged a year. Maybe not noticeable to most but it would be a big difference to me. If I went back and 20 years had passed, or 100 year... My world wouldn't understand it. How could I have survived and not aged? What if my family was already dead? But it's really not a question of what ifs. What if is an excuse. No. Bottom line, if I go back, I would destroy what my family believes to be true about the world. I would destroy the beliefs of a lot of people and with it, their hope. Give me the title of destroyer of worlds any day. But never make me the destroyer of hope. I couldn't ever live with that.

My faith is shattered. Why would I take it from anyone else? How can I go home after learning about all this? The answer is, I can't. I'm not strong enough or brave enough for that.