"What are you doing?" Rey shrieks, launching into a foreign tongue as she charges at a teedo creature that perches atop a luggabeast. "That's our ship!"
Teedo snorts and continues to ride off, away from their tiny ship and its engine, the parts of which are spilled out across the sand.
"If you didn't do it, who did?" Rey shouts. "We need—"
Ben's arm flies up. I'll make him tell us.
No, Rey snaps.
He lowers his arm. Look at you now, Snoke's voice seeps into his head. Not actually Snoke. A memory, a hallucination—Ben isn't sure which. Seduced by the enemy, just like your grandfather. All the Skywalkers. Disappointments.
No, Ben thinks, gulping. The whip marks on his back burn in the infernal heat. No, you seduced me to the Dark Side. Rey is—
He looks at her, face covered in red splotches, sweat dripping down from her temples, and he's never seen anyone he wants to be like more. Her eyes, her mind, her heart—there's so much love, so much hope, so much confidence and so much peace—he needs that.
And he loves her.
"Well," Rey pants, watching Teedo leave. "We're going to have to start over." She sniffs.
"Rey, that's okay," Ben says quickly, grasping her arms. "If you could fix this ship back on Prana's planet, I know you can fix it here. Just…" He licked his lips—they're cracked, dry. "Do we have to scavenge to survive?"
She laughs. "Well, Unkar Plutt's surely not going to buy from us. So we'll find another way. We might have to go hungry tonight, though."
"Unless we work by night and sleep by day," he suggests.
"That's not a bad idea."
That night, they sneak back to Niima Outpost, pilfering food and water. Rey works on the ship until dawn, with Ben attempting to help and mostly just getting in her way. When she finally declares herself done for the day, she presses herself into his arms, and for the first time in the light of day, she reaches to remove his shirt.
It's okay, he tells himself, focusing on the memory of Rey kissing his scar, on the fact that now he can fully see her, and she wants him because she cares, because she loves him, because she believes in him.
That afternoon, ghosts come. Not the sort he saw as Anakin Skywalker, but the kind that haunt Ben's memories, the kind he suspects not amount of Light will never exorcise.
He lies awake, Rey beside him as the sun bakes the ship, turning it into a stifling oven, making him grateful they're undressed.
But the ghosts come closer, closing in around him.
Murderer.
Ben eases himself up, careful not to disturb Rey as he staggers for the exit.
Who are you to think you can ever escape what you are? You'll turn on her eventually. Just like you've turned on everyone who ever cared about you. Your father. Luke. Your mother.
I'd rather die. He couldn't bear it if he hurt Rey again.
But that's what you do. You hurt people.
It's okay to hurt people who deserve it. He was trying to hurt you. It's okay. Ben's eight years old again, and Tygo Ren's arms are pinning him against the wall as he struggles.
I didn't mean to!
But you did. It's okay. I'll help you.
And the sand dunes turn into a flaming hut from twenty-two years ago, and Ben watches from a distance just like he had then, now curled up against the sand just like he'd curled up behind a tree, terrified that they'd know, they'd all know it was him, he was the murderer…
"Ben! Ben!"
Again, the voice of someone who cares about him, someone who doesn't know, cuts through the air. It'd taken hours of listening to Father's voice and Lor San Tekka's and Mother's before Lando finally found him behind that tree.
He's in shock, Han. Probably saw the flames and didn't know what to do.
The pain in Father's eyes—was it because, as Ben's always assumed, he thought his son simply hadn't been a hero? Or was it because, as Ben's always feared, he knew what Ben had done?
Or was it because he cared about his son?
A hand caresses his face. Not Han's. Rey's. She pulls him back, out of the memories he's drowning in. She chases away the ghosts.
"Do you know how old I was when I killed someone for the first time, Rey?" He's babbling. He doesn't know why he's telling her. But he needs to. She should know.
"Ben, what's going on?" Her gaze is so steady, so concerned. He can't stand it.
"I was eight. I didn't mean to. Snoke helped me cover it up. He sent a Knight of Ren—" he blurts out.
"Okay," Rey breathes, her hands still pressed against his face. "Okay." Her brow furrows.
"I'm evil, Rey. I've always been evil. I've been killing people since I was a child."
"How many others?"
"Just that one… until Luke's academy. But Snoke knew. He didn't choose me because I came from the Light, but because of the Dark!" He's wringing his hands. He tries to punch his side, but Rey catches his arm. "He knew what I'd become, Rey."
"You're changing though, Ben!" she insists, fighting to keep him from hitting himself. "Stop it!"
The rawness in her voice cuts through him. He drops his arms and drops his face to the sand. He hears her rise, hears her footsteps as she enters the ship again. And he hears her come back.
"Have some water," she orders.
He sits up, sand clinging to his tear-streaked face. He drinks.
"What brought this out?"
"I don't know," he mutters, head smarting. "I couldn't sleep—I kept thinking of getting to D'Qar—I'm so afraid, Rey. I'm a coward. I'm weak. I've done so few things in my life I can be proud of, and most of them took place the past—almost two months."
"It's got to be hard to realize you've been living a lie," Rey concurs.
He doesn't get it. He doesn't understand why she's even attempting to understand.
Because I love you, she snaps telepathically.
"Do you want to talk about it more?" she asks aloud.
He doesn't say anything, but she presses deeper into his mind, and it hurts slightly but he lets her in, lets her see the memories, the ghosts, that torment him, starting back when he was eight. He shows her Lor San Tekka, how he sneered at the man's gentle rebuke and slaughtered him, how he commanded all the villagers be executed. He lets her wander, seeing what she wills, seeing all of it.
And when she withdraws, she takes his hand in hers, squeezing it.
"I love you," he says, because he can't say anything else.
Now she grins, reaching out to flick his sand-encrusted hair. "I know."
Hux watches as Jakku burgeons in front of the Finalizer. The fastest Star Destroyer in the galaxy, and it still took almost two weeks to get to this junkyard. He has no respect for its inhabitants. Hux came from wealth and prestige, despite his father's constant insinuations he'd fit in more on a junkyard planet.
I'll be someone someday, you watch! he recalls screaming at his father. And he was. He manages his father's stormtrooper program.
Except, his father would never be able to see. He died at the incompetent hands of the New Republic's minions. And Hux has a sneaking suspicion his father would still find fault with him—under your leadership you had a deserter! A traitor! That's on you!
Hux grimaces. In Kylo Ren's disdain for him, he sees his father.
His opinion never mattered anyways, Hux reminds himself as he radios the Supreme Leader to receive his final instructions.
Retrieve the girl. Leave Ren.
Hux beams as he boards a smaller ship to descend to Jakku.
If Ben weren't so certain, Rey wouldn't have guessed this place used to be a village. She watches Ben place the final stone atop a small pyramid-like structure he built.
"Do you think Lor San Tekka would approve?" Rey asks, wishing she knew the face of the man who apparently sacrificed his life protecting her. "Of us?"
Ben casts her a withering glance. "Maybe. He liked me well enough as a kid. Though I was always a little too… emotional. And apt to give up."
Rey snorts. "Well, I think he'd like you now."
Something rumbles from above them. Rey peers up at the sky moments before Ben grabs her and throws her to the ground. An explosion rings out.
"Who?" she screams, ears ringing, but she knows even before Ben answers.
The First Order.
"Let's go!" she shouts, scrambling to her feet and grabbing Ben's hand like Finn grabbed hers last time. I am never coming back to Jakku again, she thinks.
The hopelessness of their situation slams into her as they dive behind the remains of a hut. We're miles from the nearest ship, and ours doesn't even work.
"We know you're out there," a slick voice says from some sort of speaker. "Hiding. We only want the girl. Ren, if you want to live, you'll give her to us and maybe the Supreme Leader will be forgiving."
Ben clutches her arm and she hears his answer in his mind: never.
"Why me?" she hisses. "What do they want with me? And not you?"
"I don't know!" He shakes his head. "They're not going to get you."
"We need to make it back to the transporter," Rey says. "If we get to Niima Outpost, there'll be chaos—maybe we can steal another one of Unkar Plutt's ships." They won't be able to, though. Not with all the extra measures Plutt's taken. She knows it, but her brain is still scrabbling for solutions.
What would Han Solo do?
Not give up, she knows. "Now!" Seizing his hand, she flies towards the transporter, powering it up with the Force before she leaps on. A cannon shot misses Ben by mere millimeters.
"Keep your head down!" Ben shouts.
"It's you they're shooting at, not me!" she screams. Why can't the Force make things go faster?
With a whoosh, Rey knows that a ship has landed, and whoever possesses that disdain-soaked voice has arrived. And he will chase them down. More ships fly overhead, chasing them.
Ben gasps, and Rey turns around to see blood seeping from his side.
"It's just a graze!" he shouts. "I'll be fine!"
She doesn't know what to do. She wishes Luke were here, wishes her grandfather would appear like Ben's had, because she does know what to do and doesn't want to do it.
Although, knowing Luke, she suspects he'd tell her to do what she needs to do.
"We should split up when we get to the outpost," she yells. "Make it hard for them to track us."
"They're tracking you, though!"
"They also think you'll be with me! You keep this transporter, go through that downed Star Destroyer, get to our ship—I'll meet you there!"
"Where are you going?"
"Past the quicksands! The ones on foot might—" She pushes her thoughts into his mind, and he's so trusting he doesn't even realize it. "You will follow this plan!"
"I will follow this plan," he repeats as they veer into Niima Outpost.
Rey leaps off the transporter amid cries and enraged shouts. She throws an arm around Ben and kisses him. With her other arm, she shoves her lightsaber inside his belt. "We'll be able to communicate. Don't worry. And don't ask questions."
He nods, face dazed with her mind trick. And he's gone, and she's running too, towards the quicksands, even though she knows she won't make it.
Rey! She hears him break through her mind trick.
Get to D'Qar. Come back for me, she says before she harnesses the Force to block him from her mind.
She pauses where she is, raising her hands as stormtroopers swoop in around her. She's shoved to her knees, manacled, dragged past a smirking redheaded general. Despite his smirk, his eyes are cold.
The ship takes off, and Rey breaks her block for just a moment, and the anguish she feels strewing through Ben doubles her over.
Fear hits her.
What will happen to me now?
"Rey!" Ben screams, the black ship carrying her shrinking as it flies towards open space. "REY!"
She left you.
Get to D'Qar… Come back for me.
No, she didn't. She sacrificed herself for you. To keep you alive.
Ben races back to the speeder, throwing his legs over it and taking off. He's gasping, but tears won't come.
She loves me.
I'm coming for you, he vows. I'm coming, Rey. I won't leave you.
Ben waits, stilling his mind, hoping for a response. None comes.
When he gets to the ship, he jumps off and rushes towards the hatch, staring at the jumble of parts Rey's been so painstakingly piecing back together again. She'd said it was almost finished. The blaster graze wound burns. Sand's likely gotten inside, but he can't worry about cleaning it now. He feels an unfamiliar object in his belt and pulls out his grandfather's lightsaber.
You've never fixed a ship in your life. What makes you think you can do this?
You're Han Solo's goddamn son, he tells himself. You can fix this ship.
And with that, we are officially caught up with the prologue! Thanks to all for reading!