Weeks had gone by and my feeling's for Eli were becoming increasingly hard to hide from the others. Eli, Bianca, and Zig were out making a drop off leaving me with Vince, Sean, and Emma. Emma and I were sitting on the couch counting the cash intake for the week, while Zig and Sean watched.

"So Lil C, when you gonna fess up?" Vince's tone was serious, had he caught on to me for real this time?

Sean laughed, as I stared blankly at him like a deer in headlights. "Did you think we wouldn't find out?" I still stared at them blankly, my face turning pale, I didn't know what to say. "Clare, you look like someone died. It's not that big of a deal."

I stopped counting the money, and looked to Emma for an explanation. She half smiled at me, "Clare, we know about you and Eli. It's so obvious, you two are the worst liars. We can see the long romantic glances across the room, and the way you two smile when the other one is in the room. Why didn't you just tell us?"

I breathed a sigh of relief, "I'm sorry guy's, Eli just thought it would be better for my safety if it was a secret. Besides, he and Bianca just broke up, and then you Vince...we just didn't want to upset anyone."

Vince got up and sat on the arm of the couch next to me, putting his arm around me, "Lil C, it's all good. You know Bianca don't care, she's been screwing that Drew guy for weeks. I got the hint a long time ago anyways, You don't ever have to keep a secret from us, you should know that girl."

Sean sat on the coffee table in front of me, "He's right Clare. There isn't anything you cant tell us, we are a family, and we'll understand no matter what it is. Eli is right to want to protect you though, taking down Aston is a priority right now. You're so close to finding out where his hide out is, if he found out you've been playing him this whole time, well I don't even want to think about that. In general, being with someone in the gang lifestyle can be rough, Emma and I know that first hand."

Emma grabbed Sean's hand, "He's right Clare, but you know what, as long as I am with him, it's all worth it. As long as we're all together, protecting each other, I'm ok. I know I warned you to get out while you could, but I'm selfishly so glad you're here. The house has never been cleaner, and it's really nice having another girl around."

I smiled, but inside I was so guilty. They were showering me with love and understanding, but I was lying to all of their faces everyday. "'Thank you all so much for making me feel so, loved. I don't have a family, so It means a lot to have people who care around." I pushed any thoughts of about lying to them aside and we told jokes, and laughed, not once did anyone bring up anything gang related. Eli, Bianca, and Zig came in in the middle of our laughter.

Bianca crossed her arms and raised an eye brow, "What went on while we were gone?"

I stood up and walked over to Eli, putting my arms around his waist. "They found us out."

Eli looked nervously back and forth at Bianca and Vince, and they both laughed. Bianca uncrossed her arms, "Eli don't look so surprised, Vince and I have known. You two are so obvious, we aren't mad. Whatever makes you two happy, we are for it. In fact, family picture, right now!" Bianca pulled us over to the couch, and Zig jumped in our laps. Eli looked at me with a worried expression, but I squeezed his hand to assure him it really was ok. Bianca grabbed my phone from the coffee table and set it on a self time in front of the couch. She ran over to the rest of the us, and a few seconds later the flash went off. The rest of that day was full of laugh's and joke's, I had never been so happy in my life, but in a matter of seconds I was brought back to reality. I got a text from Matt asking me to meet him at headquarters. I lied to Eli and the rest of them, yet again, saying I had to run up to the school to finish a project. Before I walked out the door, Eli and I made eye contact, I think part of him knew I was lying, he just didn't want to admit it. It ate away at my soul, knowing that I was deceiving him.

As soon as I closed the door, I called Matt. He spoke before I had a chance to. "Hello, Agent 969. It's so nice to hear from you, I hope I haven't inconvenienced you." His tone was dripping in sarcasm.

"Of course not, but I'm on the job, what is that you need to see me about."

He laughed, "Exactly that, your job." Matt hung up, and as if on cue a limo pulled up. I got inside, and the driver sped off immediately. My uniform was laid out beside me on the seat. I changed into it, and pinned my hair up. Wearing that blazer and long skirt used to make me feel so powerful, but wearing it again felt so foreign now. There were a pair of heel's on the floor board, I slipped them on, and the limo stopped. I opened the door, we were at head quarters. My ID badge was on the uniform, and I used it to get inside. I walked down the familiar hall's, and the familiar faces waved as I passed them. I reached Matt's office, and before I could knock the door it opened on it's own.

"Come in 969." I sat down in the chair in front of his desk, he stopped writing and looked up at me. "What's going on?"

"Sir, I'm not sure what you mean."

Matt's eye brow's furrowed "Don't bull shit me 969. It's been months and you haven't sent one shred of god damn evidence in, you haven't even checked in with me of all people. What the hell? Do you even have any evidence? What have you been doing this whole time?"

I shakily raised my voice, "I do have information, I just don't have anything the agency would be interested in. Just minor drug charges would be the gangs punishment, you want them away for good don't you?"

Matt slammed his fist down on the desk. "No! I call bull shit again, you know protocol is to consistently send in every peace of evidence you have. You have nothing on your wire, nothing!?"

"Using a wire is too dangerous, the family hug's, a lot."

Matt tilted his head in sadness, "Are you shitting me, the family? Clare what is this? Not trainor the student, but friend to friend, what are you doing? I know you're more cabable than this."

My cheeks became wet, and my throat started to close."I love you like a father, you know that Matt, so I hope that you wont think of me differently when I tell you what I have to say. I've broken your number one rule, I've gotten close to them, convinced myself they aren't bad people, because they aren't. They care about me."

Matt stood up from his chair putting his hands on his hips. "Clare no, no, they don't! We went over this in training, you know that gang members care about one thing only, their product selling, and making them money."

"I just don't believe that, not with them, you don't understand, you don't live with them." I wiped my tears away.

"Oh, so now you live with them? Dammit Clare, snap out of it. What do you think is going to happen if you continue to not do your job? You'll be fired at the very least, and then the time you've spent in that gang will have been for nothing. It will be as if you were really in a gang this whole time, you are not a gang member, you're agent 969. You are an FBI agent with a big future ahead of her if she does her job correctly."

"Matt I don't know if I can, I just don't know! How can I look at these people I have grown to care for, and lie to and hurt them like this?"

"Clare look at me, look at me straight in the eyes. You can do it the same way that Vince guy killed your brother in cold blood, and the same way they ALL helped him cover it up. Would your brother be proud of you for making friends with the people who stole the very breath from him? If you can answer that question with a yes, then by all means go, quit and live the "thug life" with your new friends. You know what though, I think I know you a little better than that, and I don't think you can answer that question with a yes. I know that this job can be hard, but you have to make a choice to do it, or to walk away. Go ahead and go back, I'll give you a day to think about it, but no more than that. I love you like a daughter Clare, I never would have brought you into the FBI if I didn't believe you were capable of serving justice."

I walked out of head quarters feeling torn between who I thought I was, and what I was becoming. The one thing that rang true in my confusion was Eli, I couldn't hurt him.