Even with every Resistance sympathizer in the galaxy on the lookout, there's been no word of Rey besides the snippets Snoke gives him. Snoke's given up talking to him and rejects every word Ben tries to say, but instead shatters into his mind with images of Rey scowling, or Rey wrapping her arms around her stomach, or Rey cursing and yelling. Never crying. If she cries, Ben knows, she'd hide her tears.
Please believe in me. I will find you.
The more time Ben spends with her friends, the closer he feels with her. Despite his tentative beginnings, after another month of training, Finn's proving himself quite skilled with the lightsaber.
Still, Ben can tell that they don't fully trust him. Even his mother. They know he's holding something back, but for Rey's sake, Ben doesn't know what else he can do.
Is it for Rey's sake? Or your own, because you don't want them to know you've created another mess? A mess that, this time, you can't have Snoke burn away?
Murderer.
Ben clamps his hands over his ears, but the voice is inside his head, and it's not even Snoke's: it's his own.
R2 blips and whirs, asking if Ben's okay. He nods.
The door opens, and C-3PO wobbles in. "R2! There you are. We need you upstairs. Oh—oh, hello, Master Ben!"
"Hello, 3PO." He smirks as he remembers all the pranks he used to play on the golden droid.
"Well, R2 will be back in just a little bit—R2! Wait for me!"
A Wookiee roars. Ben's head snaps up as Chewbacca enters the cell.
This is the first time he's seen his father's oldest friend since the time Chewie shot him with his bowcaster, the same weapon Chewie wrestled out of a curious Ben's five-year-old hands, whimpering in the first and only time Ben's seen him show fear.
And now Ben doesn't know what to say. He thinks of how betrayed Chewie must have felt, watching Ben murder his father, Chewie's dearest friend.
Ben doesn't realize he's backing up until he's against the wall. "I'm sorry," he ekes out. He can't tell if Chewie's approach is menacing or gentle. At least they monitor these cells.
If Chewie wants to harm him, Ben doesn't blame him. He's assumed Chewie hates him since he hasn't seen the Wookiee over the past months.
Months. Rey's got to be five months along.
With a roar, Chewie charges at him, but instead of punching him or tearing his arms out, Chewie grabs the sides of his face, studying him with a definite glint in his eyes, as if to see whether the face staring back at him belongs to Ben or Kylo Ren.
Ben. Mostly. I hope.
Chewie embraces him.
It's so unexpected Ben doesn't know what to do. With his nose crushed against the Wookiee's fur, he wraps his arms around Chewie.
The Wookiee pulls away and sits beside Ben.
Do I mention Father? "Any news of Rey?" he asks instead.
Chewie moans and shakes his head.
"It's all my fault," he admits out loud, partially because he knows the only other person who can understand Chewie is his mother, and partially because it was to Chewie Ben confided most of his childhood secrets—except the first man he killed, and
Murderer.
Chewie snuffles as if to say he already knows it's all Ben's fault.
"There's something you don't know, though," Ben says. "No one does. It's worse than you think. I can't tell them. Rey—I can't—I love her, Chewie."
Chewie turns to stare at him.
"She gave herself to the First Order for me. To protect me." He's crying. "They wanted her, and she was afraid they would kill me. I don't deserve her, Chewie."
Chewie doesn't move. He's like a huge, furry statue. And then he wraps an arm around Ben and pulls him to his side. Ben leans his head against Chewie's shoulder as the words rise up, swooping to the tip of his tongue.
"Rey's pregnant, Chewie. With my child. Snoke wants the baby, I know it. But I can't tell them. She's a Jedi, and—I don't know what to do. I feel so helpless, sitting here, while she's—"
Chewie groans, but under his massive arm, Ben feels no judgment. He doesn't know whether the Wookiee will tell Mother, or if that thought horrifies him or relieves him.
"Come with me. Now."
Rey leaps up, staring at Captain Phasma. "Where are you taking me?"
Phasma is clearly not used to being questioned. "Just obey me, girl!"
"Are you taking me to Snoke?" Rey demands as Phasma marches forward, grabbing her by the arm and hauling her out of the room.
"Don't ask any more questions," Phasma hisses, pulling Rey down the corridor. "Yes, we're going to the Supreme Leader." Her voice echoes.
"Why?"
"I said no more questions!" Phasma yanks her into a side room lined with blasters. "Take one."
"What?"
"There are a variety of ships, TIE fighters and escape pods, all down towards the center of the ship. I'll take you as far as I can."
Rey grabs the blaster. "Why?" Is this how Poe felt, when Finn rescued him?
Phasma shakes her head, face still concealed under the mask. "It doesn't matter."
"Thank you," Rey says, for a lack of anything else, as she stuffs two blasters—one for each hand—into her belt.
"Each ship, whichever you choose, will be outfitted with navigation. You'll have to find your friends on your own."
"You're not coming with me?"
Phasma straightens "I serve the First Order."
"Do you?"
Footsteps resound outside the room. Phasma holds up a hand as they wait for them to pass.
Hope—burning, brutal hope—blooms through Rey. She'll escape or die trying. She might be able to contact Ben again, soon—their child might have a future after all. Or at least, not wind up in Snoke's clutches. Anything would be better than that.
"Let's go."
"Please," Rey begs. "Come with me."
"No." Phasma tightens her grip on Rey's arm. "And stop asking!"
Rey's heart pounds as they approach the hanger. "Which one?" Phasma growls, clutching her shoulder so tightly Rey suspects there will be bruises.
"The TIE fighter. That one, right there." Rey points to the nearest one. It's farther from the exit, but if she can slip in unnoticed… "But how will I be able to fight back if you don't come?"
"How will you be able to leave if I don't authorize your departure?" Phasma marches away from her. "Ten minutes."
Rey breathes deeply before heading down the stairs like she belongs here. Several stormtroopers notice her, but they don't react. Did Snoke not tell them there was a pregnant prisoner? Are pregnant women common on First Order Star Destroyers?
Once she's on the hanger floor, Rey sidles along the wall, determined to avoid more eyes. As if sensing her anxiety, the baby kicks furiously inside her.
She opens the door to the TIE fighter and jumps inside, shutting it and hoping no one was suspicious enough to notify Hux.
"Departure authorized from terminal two," Phasma's voice cuts through the air. Rey presses the buttons and feels the TIE fighter lift off. Exhilarated, Rey aims for the exit point. And she's out. She's in open space, and the TIE fighter flies so fast, and away from Snoke, she calls out to Ben in her mind for the first time.
Ben!
Rey! Are you—how—
I'm good. The baby's good, too. I think.
How are—
Phasma let me go—I—
Where are you, Rey?
Let me check—we're at the Outer Rim, near—
A cannon shot slices past her. Rey bites her lip, drawing blood. She twists in her chair, trying to aim the gun and fly at the same time.
Rey? She can feel his panic, his almost hope, his fear of hoping—
And then a shot rips through the TIE fighter's wing. Shit!
What's going on, Rey?
Another cannon shot. Rey flies forward, her head slamming into the controls. Ben's voice disappears, and everything goes black.
She wakes up as stormtroopers are extracting her from the TIE fighter. No. No! Ben?
Silence.
Hux's arm clasps her elbow, dragging her to her feet. Dizzy, Rey feels her forehead and her hand comes away bloody.
Her abdomen feels still. Terror like Rey's never known hits her, clearing away the dizziness. Please. Please—baby—
You failed.
Reality clamps down on her. She hasn't escaped. She's still trapped with the First Order. Rey's legs almost give out on her.
"Oh, no you don't," Hux snarls, dragging her down into the maze of hallways.
"Let me go!"
"Say that once more and I'll put a bullet right here!" Hux jabs his blaster into Rey's stomach.
The baby kicks at the intrusion, and a waterfall of relief cascades over her. You're alive. You're alive!
Hux throws her to her knees. The black marble floor tells Rey whose presence she's in.
"We recaptured her, Supreme Leader," Hux reports. "And the traitor."
Stormtroopers enter, throwing down a bound Captain Phasma. Her mask crushed around her face, Phasma makes a choking sound.
"Rey Kenobi. I was beginning to wonder when you'd try to escape." Snoke drifts over to her. Rey knows she shouldn't, but she glares up at him anyways, hoping her hate is as clear as it can be. Because she hates this creature, this decrepit, monstrous—
"But you weren't content to only injure yourself in your futile endeavor." Snoke tsks. "You had to take one of my best captains down with you."
"That's not—" Rey stops. "She didn't—"
"I know exactly what she did, Rey Kenobi. Another one of my favorites, corrupted and seduced by sentiment."
"By decency, you mean?" she retorts.
"I haven't been, Supreme Leader. And I won't be!" Hux cries, looking to his master as if his master were a father, were a savior.
"Silence." The Supreme Leader waves his hand, and Rey freezes, unable to move anything but her eyes and her lungs.
"I thought you'd change. I had hope for you, Rey." Snoke brings his face close to hers, and it's more terrible than when Kylo Ren threatened her with his lightsaber on Takodana. "Just like I had hope for your mother."
What? His hold loosens. She wiggles her jaw, her tongue.
Snoke cackles. "Yes, I knew your mother. I had my eyes on you from the beginning. A descendent of Obi-Wan Kenobi? You would make a perfect Knight of Ren. Better than Kylo Ren, even."
"Ben Solo," she spits out, and Snoke whirls on her, seizing her throat so tightly she cannot breathe, cannot move her eyes, cannot do anything but look into his enraged, decaying, eager face.
"Your mother refused to give you to me. She gave you to Luke instead. I tracked her down. I killed her." Snoke grins, revealing a black mouth with unnatural teeth. "I won't be making the same mistake with you. I will take your child, and I will raise it from the Dark Side and teach it to harness the Light only when necessary. You won't meet your child, if that's what it takes! I will create a gray Force user, unlike anything the world has ever seen before. I will teach it to balance the Force, and through that, rule and conquer and bring everything under my submission!"
He lets her go. Rey gags, sucking in air and trembling. Tears stream down her face. I won't let you. I won't.
"You don't have to let me. I will do. And you won't be able to stop me, and Kylo Ren won't be able to stop me, and Luke Skywalker won't be able to stop me. No one can help you now. Do you understand that? You're as alone as you've ever been." Snoke laughs. "You're the only one who can help you now. Choose the Dark."
She shakes her head.
"You still hope they will find you," Snoke purrs. "How sweet. How innocent. Just like you always hoped your family would come for you on Jakku, this hope will prove fruitless. I will hunt down every last Jedi, including Kylo Ren. I will kill Luke like I killed your mother, like I killed the woman he loved—"
What?
Luke was in love? Why hadn't he ever told her?
"And I will do to your child what I did to his," Snoke sneers. "Only far, far worse."
Luke has a child? Does he know?
No, Rey knows.
"If wiping out everyone you love is the only way to turn you, I will do it. If making sure your child grows up unloved is the only way to ensure his or her path down the Dark Side, I assure you, I will ensure this." Snoke laughs again. Through his guffaws, he motions to Hux. "Kill her."
Rey flinches, but Hux marches away from her and kneels by Phasma. Almost gently, he removes her mask, and Rey sees the captain's face for the first time. Without the bruises, she would have been beautiful.
Phasma looks up at Hux, and Rey wants to scream, wants to beg her to look at Hux in defiance, at least, but all Phasma's face reflects is defeat.
Until she looks at Rey, and smiles, at once defiant and reassuring.
Hux shoots her.
Snoke lets go of Rey finally, and her screams fill the air, echoing and echoing in the cavernous room. The stormtroopers latch onto her arms, but Rey's still screaming, still screaming. Hux's face takes on a strangely ashen pallor.
"You!" Rey shrieks. "Is this what you want to do? Tear apart families? Kill—"
"Shut her up!" Hux barks.
"Monster!" she screams at Hux.
"No!" he screeches. "Shut her up, shut her up—Supreme Leader—"
But Snoke is still laughing, shallow, cracked rumbles that reverberate through the room. Hux races out, past Rey, shouting for the stormtroopers to lock Rey back in her room.
The baby kicks more than ever. As soon as the stormtroopers drop Rey inside, she wraps her arms around her bump. "I won't let them," she vows, even though she doesn't know how the hell she'll keep such a promise.
I'M SO SORRY.
Hope is coming. I promise.