14. A Waltz of Chaos
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"Goooooood morning….sunshine!" the Joker jumped onto the bed to wake me up. I rolled over and was blinded by the sun shining in through the window. Squinting my eyes and place my hand over my eyes, I groaned and rolled back over.
"What time is it?" I managed force out of my dry and cracking throat. I hated speaking after first waking up! I somehow, over the years, managed to sound like a drag queen.
"Time for a trip to obtain…things," he responded with a grin and a gesture of his hand as though motioning out into the distance to where theses 'things' were. He was already dressed, including his purple overcoat, face freshly painted. Still squinting, I sat up and tilted my head. Was this guy for real? The sun must have literally just come up and here he was, dressed to the nines at the ass crack of dawn to get 'things'.
"Huh? Things? What kinds of things?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and releasing a yawn.
"Things…that we need to help change Gotham…forever!" he exclaimed with a surge of energy.
"Right—but what? Explosives? Gasoline? I mean, you're pretty damn good at blowing things up," I replied, finally awake.
"It all depends on what's there—no need to plan what things I need—it's all in what's already there," he grinned.
"So you're going out at the ass crack of dawn to get things you don't even know?" I asked, a bit irritated.
"Precisely," he responded, "Now get up—get dressed! You're coming with me. You've got a thing or two to learn in rigging buildings and…boats," he explained as he put out his hand for me to take.
"Rigging buildings and ships, huh?" I asked, as I took his hand and hopped off the bed.
"I have ideas, Giada—but not plans," the Joker responded finally. He just loves building up the mystery!
"You're a beautiful, fucked up man," I said, "You know that?"
"No more than you, my dear," he gestured to the bathroom. I just shook my head and closed the door behind me. I turned on the water and glanced around the bathroom as I waited for it to heat up. I was in the Joker's bathroom—the most personal place in any person's home. This is where he showers, washes off his face paint, takes a shit. I laughed aloud to myself at the thought of the Joker having to drop a deuce.
"Giggling all by yourself, Giada? You're crazier than I thought," the Joker called to me from the other side of the door.
"Sorry! Just thinking about you taking a dump!" I called back. I doubted he'd know how to respond to that! Man, where did my inhibitions run off to? Not bothering to wait for his reply, I jumped into the shower.
"Giada, the things you think about are crazier than the things I think about!" the Joker exclaimed suddenly as he burst through the door. Taken by surprise at his unexpected entrance, I shrieked.
"You didn't really think I'd just sit outside the door after hearing a comment like that, did you?" he asked as he swung the shower curtain open.
"What are you doing?!" I shouted, "I'm trying to shower!"
"And I figured you could use some company," he replied as he stepped into the shower. He was still fully clothed.
"Uh, you're getting your suit all wet!" I exclaimed as I ripped the jacket off of him and threw it onto the floor.
"See? Now you appreciate my company," he snickered as he grabbed me around the waist and kissed my neck.
"See, I thought the purpose of a shower was to get clean and to do that by being unclothed," I responded as I pushed him off of me.
"Well then it looks like you've got a bit of catching up to do—I've got you unclothed already, but here I am…still…in…mine," he responded.
"Don't we have explosives to buy?" I asked, tilting my head.
"Buy? Who said we were buying anything? I said we have things to get. There was no 'buy' in that statement," he responded.
"Right—so was it not you who woke me up to go get these things with you? Was it not your who told me to get ready so we could get out and get these 'things'?" I asked, just wanting to finish my shower.
"You're really no fun this early in the morning," he stated flatly. I let out a sigh of frustration and then ripped his vest, tie and shirt from his body, followed by his shoes, socks and purple striped pants.
"There! Are you happy now? We're in a tie—both of us are unclothed," I said, folding my arms across my chest and raising my eyebrows.
"Ah, now there's a bit of fun. We stop here then—in a tie. To be continued, then!" he giggled as he jumped from the shower and took his clothes from the floor and left the bathroom. That was it? He just wanted me to unclothe him in the shower? He didn't want sex or anything? I scratched my head in thought, shut the curtain again and finished up my shower. This man was more perplexing than I had anticipated.
I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a damp towel about me. This was undoubtedly the towel he had used earlier this morning before waking me. I opened the door and peered out before venturing into the hallway.
"Finally you're done! This way, Giada, dear!" he stated as he motioned for me to join him in the bedroom.
"Do you have a hairbrush or something?" I asked, trying to comb my fingers through my wet curling hair.
"Hairbrush? Does it look like I use one of those?" he asked as he brushed his wavy hair from his face. Point well taken. "Here, try this," he said as he threw some clothing at me.
"You want me to wear your clothing?" I asked, holding the clothes with one hand and the towel with my other hand.
"Well, from the looks oft things, the rest of your clothing is at your place of residence," he stated, glancing about the room, "but if you really insist, having you naked all day wouldn't really be such a bad thing either,"
"Fine," I responded, then paused as I looked hard at him. He was back in his traditional Joker clothes—but they were completely dry.
"What? Is there something on my face?" he asked, grinning at his question.
"Huh? Oh no—well I mean yes—your face paint…but…your clothes—they're dry," I stated curiously.
"Indeed they are," he responded, still grinning.
"I won't ask," I said finally as I turned to leave and change in his bathroom. The clothes he gave me were interesting—black and red, not purple and green. His clothing, however, did not fit me, so I decided to just wear what I had worn the day before (gross I know, but it really didn't matter at this point).
"Didn't fit, I see," he said as I came out wearing my clothes from yesterday.
"No, but I have an idea about fixing these so they might," I responded as I placed the clothing on the bed.
"Very well, then! This way," he said as he stood to his feet. I followed him.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
We wandered through back allies for what felt like hours, grabbing things here and there. He would tell me what to grab and I would put it into a large duffle bag he gave me.
"Now—to the docks," he said with a smirk.
"The docks? What's down there?" I asked, nearly dragging the heavy duffle.
"Boats," he stated as we walked through all of the back allies until we finally reached the waterfront. I followed him down to the boats that were docked.
"What are we doing on the boats?" I asked, "Rigging them to blow?" I asked with a sarcastic chuckle.
"Precisely," he responded.
"Wait, what?! You don't mean—"
"These two ferry boats," he explained.
"But how? Won't anybody notice?"
"People are ignorant, Giada. They don't see things that are right under their noses. The best place to get away with any kind of chaos is right out in the open—under the noses of the GPD—it's always the last place they'd assume anything would happen," he responded as we walked right out to the ferries.
"So what are you planning on doing with the ferries?" I asked, looking around. No one was around. I was shocked.
"These ferries won't be open to the public until tonight," he explained, "not until my announcement goes public,"
"What announcement?" I asked.
"That I've taken over Gotham City and anyone left in the city will play by my rules," he responded.
"When did you make that statement?" I asked, incredulously.
"After we rig these ferries," he replied as he jumped over onto the landing dock. I slid down after him, carrying the heavy duffle bag. He then kicked the side door open and we both slipped onto the ferry. He led me down into the bottom most part of the ship.
"Perfect," he said as he observed all of the barrels of oil.
"How did these get here?" I asked, shocked by the tons of barrels.
"People work for me, Giada—but I don't work with them. You see, you're the only person I could have trusted to join me in rigging these ferries,"
"But who would load a ferry boat with oil drums and not expect you to blow it up? Who will keep this a secret?" I exclaimed, letting go of the duffle bag.
"People keep secrets when they're dead, Giada," he responded, grinning. My heart was pounding inside my chest. This would be it—he would surely kill me after this. All was silent, except the pounding inside my chest. I could have sworn he could hear it—sense my fear.
"What's wrong, Giada? You look nervous. I thought we were past this," he said as he walked closer to me. I shriveled back inside myself as he approached and tilted my head away from him as he touched my face with his gloved hand.
"I am an agent of chaos, Giada—and so are you," he said, nearly directly into my face. I kept pushed my head further back from him.
"Have I made the wrong decision in taking you with me? I like to think that my intuition is right about you, Giada—that I won't have to kill you when this is over—that you'll still be with me. I could sense the longing and desperation in his voice behind the threat. He didn't want to lose me. And I didn't want to lose him—or die, for that matter. But there I was, ready to rig a couple of ferries to blow this evening. I was in too deep. There was no way out.
"Come, Giada—say something. Don't make me use this," he said as he cocked his gun and held it to my head. "I like you the best—of them all, I'd kill you last," he snickered. Trembling, I forced myself to turn my head and face him. I could feel the tears of fear welling up inside my eyes, but I would never let him see them. I would not let him see me cower before him in this agonizing fear. But he knew it.
He immediately lowered his gun and placed it back inside his jacket and took me into his arms. I was breathing heavily as he held tightly onto me. Once I finally regained composure, I pushed him away from me and grabbed the gun from his jacket pocket, cocked it and pointed it at him.
"If you ever point that gun at me again, you won't live to see tomorrow," I sneered, my heart still racing a million miles a minute. He just laughed as he raised both of his hands into the air.
"What?! You don't fucking believe me?" I exclaimed as I pointed the gun at the ceiling and pulled the trigger. The Joker jumped at the gunshot and then grabbed my arm and pulled the gun away from me.
"Are you fucking crazy? Don't shoot that thing off in here—not with all the oil drums!" he exclaimed.
"I was proving a point," I stated firmly.
"Point taken," he responded as he placed the gun back into his jacket. "So I take it you'll help me rig these ship then,"
"I've got no other choice, do I?" I asked.
"I'll give you one more choice—one more chance to back down from joining me. You've helped me once and now I've helped you once. We're even—in another tie, as it were. But you look nervous—uncertain about this. I'll give you one more chance. You can join me, here, or walk out of this ferry and back to your apartment. Just know, Giada, that if you chose the latter, they will hunt you and when they find you, you'll have no other options. I know how much you enjoy our time together, and if you chose to join me, that time will never end," he explained with a sadistic smile. "You can take this opportunity now and chose, Giada. Whatever you chose will not change how I personally view you—it will not change my opinions of you and nor will it change how I see us,"
"How do you see us?" I asked finally.
"Well, if you chose to not walk off this ferry, I see us working together, using our…minds—conspiring, living…causing chaos…Giada, you see…in just the way that Batman completes my existence…so do you. I've waited a long many years to find such a person that I could call 'a match', and well…you're it, Giada. You're my soul mate,"
I knew by that statement, he didn't mean "marry me" or "I love you" or that I was his romantic "soul mate" partner. He was deranged and obsessed by me. But I was deranged and obsessed by him. That was our relationship—we were obsessed with each other's existence and I knew right then and there that I couldn't walk off that ship. He was, unfortunately, my soul mate as well and we were destined to do this waltz for the rest of our lives.