A.N.

Long chapter is long

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-Mello-

I woke flailing and screaming.

Pain.

I slumped back against the pillows.

…Wait, pillows? And light…Not mildew but the smell of disinfectant was in the air…

There was a weight on my chest…

I trembled as my eyes, no wait eye, focused; only to heave a sigh of relief.

Matt.

He had come for me. He was here.

"Shhh I'm here Mello. I'm here." His body was holding me still as he cooed in my ear; just now comprehending he was talking.

"Matt…" My voice cracked, and I winced as it hurt to talk. A straw was pressed to my lips. I drank greedily, the water was clean, pure. It was heaven. Matt smiled at me, petting my hair; I leaned into the comforting touch, already tired regardless of having just woken up.

"Sleep."

I clung to him weakly, no wanting him to go. "Stay."

There was a chuckle at my weak demand, but he sat me up sliding behind me before laying down letting me snuggle into him.

"If the doctors get mad this is your fault."

I was too asleep to bother answering.

Matt was still under me as I woke up, speaking angrily to someone.

"Matt? What's going on?"

"Go back to sleep, Mello. Nothing you need to worry about right now."

"No, what?" I blinked sleepily before seeing the person Matt had been speaking to.

Takada.

"No comment and get out. How the hell you get in to begin with?" My current state and weak voice sapped the authority from my command; she laughed. Growling angrily I pushed the nurse button snapping at the woman who appeared.

"Who the hell let her in? Get security in here, I want her gone."

"Now, now, not needed I'm sure." Takada purred. She sounded too much like him. She had to go. She is a bitch and I hated her before, but now…

Both security and the hospital director showed up at the same time, the former showing the pain in the ass paparazzi away while the latter kissed ass. I made it very clear that apart from Matt, Misa and Raito were the only visitors I would allow.

Now that I was alone with him any façade of strength I had left, leaving me drained. I fell asleep to his arms around me and the sound of a DS in the air.

When I awoke, yet again (just how long had I been here anyway?) Misa and Raito were in my room speaking quietly with Matt. Ratio assured me that his father was working on the case, and that he was handling the press. Misa in a fit of seriousness (that reminded me why I semi-liked her in the first place) told me she was leaving her security at my door to keep more reporters out.

Oh yeah, she and Takada don't get along well at all.

I just nodded and snuggled into Matt as he pet my hair; it was nice.

I was half asleep when a nurse walked in.

"Alright you three, time for him to have a bath. I'll need you guys to leave so I can get him cleaned up."

Raito just gave a curt nod, while Misa bounced over kissing my cheek. "Feel better Mello-kun! Misa-Misa will have a party when he is better!" Taking Raito's hand she left.

The nurse looked expectantly at Matt. I just clung to him stubbornly.

"Not touching me bitch." Matt chuckled as I mumbled that into his shirt.

"Be nice Mells."

I just sulked.

"He doesn't like people touching him. Looking is one thing, but touching is another. He almost bit one of the assistance hand off because she though…"he" needed adjusting for the shot."

Yawning I mumbled with as much venom I could muster. "Like hell she was touching my dick. You said the shot looked fine. She just wanted to cop a feel. You're the only one that can do that."

Matt rolled his eyes. "Any way, I'll get him cleaned up."

She looked hesitant, but eventually I got my way.

I curled into him as Matt carried me to the bath. There was a large basin of warm water, some baby soap and a soft sponge. I leaned against him on shaky legs as he tugged my pants off. Watching them pool at my feet I noticed they were flannel and had Link on them. Must be Matt's…

He sat me on one of those weird bench/chair for the shower things, before dipping the sponge in the water and gently started washing me off. I was too tired to protest and let him do as he liked, lifting my arms to get under them, and letting my legs fall open when he nudged them.

"Not trying to molest you Mell. Just want you clean."

I gave a "Mmmm" as a pleasured sigh escaped. So much hurt these soft touches felt nice, especially on and around my cock. I let out a soft giggle as he pressed brief kisses to it. I'll have to get him to do that later, when I can get hard. Too much hurt right now. He smiled at me pressing one last kiss to my thigh before standing me up.

"Need to get your ass and thighs ok?"

I nodded clinging to his shirt as a strong arm held me by my waist and a sure hand bathed me. I flinched as a finger traced lines along my crack.

"What are these baby?"

I let out a strangled noise. "zipper marks."

He quietly continued to trace them. "Hold the counter for a second."

"Why?" I reached for him as he pulled away, but quickly had to lean against the counter.

"I'm going to kiss it better." I blushed heavily as his lips touched my ass. I could feel his breath, feel his smile before he stood back up and pulled me close. I cried softly.

Unworried about clothes he picked me up carrying me back to my bed. I didn't worry either, half my portfolio is nudes. Everyone has seen it all before. I pressed my face into his neck, wrapping my lets around his waist; for now content, humming happily as he kissed me.

The sound of a throat being cleared pulled me from my blissful (well as close as I can get at the moment) state.

"M-mother?"

She was brisk and business like. "Your father said to give you this. You're still his only heir whether he likes it or not." I was given a slip of paper folded in half. "Although I don't know why he expects the family name to continue given you're…"

I cut her off. "I'm planning on adopting some day. Even if it's just me…I do want a family. Just because I love another man doesn't change my base desires. They're just slightly different in how they happen."

She gave me a pursed lipped look. "And put some clothes on. No need to show what God gave you.

"What's the point? You've both seen it all before. Hell half the world has seen it all before."

With a huff she left.

"What does the note say?"

Curious as well I opened it.

"An eye for an eye." And it had my father's signature.

….What? What does he?

Then we got the phone call. Raito's dad found Damon.

His body was in a dumpster and he had the same injuries as me, but no one was there to stop the caustic chemicals from killing him. Matt held me as I cried.

It had been three weeks and I was finally allowed home. I was irritated, frustrated and all sorts of other things. The one time I convinced Matt I would be ok to have sex they walked in on us because that damn heart monitor….. And to top it off no one would let me look in anything mildly reflective. What was going on damnit!

A week or so at home had passed and I was going to see what was under these bandages come hell or high water. I will know.

I had convinced Matt to go get some take-out for lunch with the excuse I would sleep while he was gone.

I had about an hour. I slowly made my way to the bath staring at myself in the mirror. Gauze and tape covered one whole side of me. Slowly I began to pick at it, tape coming away.

I paused, did I really want to see?

The gauze fell and I closed my eyes tightly.

Well Mihael, you crossed the Rubicon on this one. Slowly I opened my eyes.

Monster. That's what was looking back at me. Raw oozing skin covered half my body. Red and rough, like leather that had been cured improperly.

Ugly, repulsive, no one would want to look at me now. My career was over, my life was over.

Matt…there was no way he would want me now…

Sobbing I trashed my apartment in a fit of, of…I don't know, emotions.

I collapsed in a pile of clothes.

Now the once beautiful home was ugly, just like me.