A.N.

And procrastinating my film exam. Thank Kat. Only two chapters to go until the end :3

Disclaimer: No own

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Mello-

True to his word, he was back in thirty minutes, a warm blanket draping over me. It smelled of his laundry detergent, it was familiar, comforting. Soon I was pulled against him, bodies fitting together perfectly. I, however, was still in a bad mood, no matter how content I was becoming I just couldn't let it go.

"Why am I always the little spoon?"

He just chuckled softly, rubbing my hip. "Because you like it best."

"…." I blushed indignantly, earning a full laugh.

He held me close, slowly coaxing me to sleep.

Those were rough months. The bandages were bad enough, and they hid the worst part. I was able to ignore the fact I was disfigured as long as they were on, but when I was finally told to take them off….

I raged.

It was a constant thing. My apartment, always so neat, was like a war zone. I had to get twenty stitches in my hand from punching and breaking a mirror. Matt hired someone to redo my place. The modern look was changed. All the reflective surfaces were gone. The only one left was a small medicine cabinet in the bath so I could brush my hair and he had to be present when I went in. No glass table, no stainless steel appliances…My apartment went from bright, white and modern to almost an earthy feel. Lots of neutrals, very zen. Guess they thought feng shui would help or some shit.

It did help, to some extent, not being able to see. Didn't change I knew it was there, but…

I did try to go out, I really did. I got as far as the corner before the looks, the pity, the whispers caused me to dart back home.

I reclused myself. Allowed no one to see me but Matt, occasionally Misa and Raito.

Matt was a saint, he truly was. All the start and stops…We would be hot and heavy then I would pull away, wondering how he wasn't disgusted with me, bolting myself into the bathroom, staring into the tiny square of glass, the only one allowed me. I was torturing myself, I knew, but what else could I do? I could barely look at myself, how could he stand to touch me? Kiss me? How was he even willing to have sex with me? I slid down the wall crying brokenly. Damon's final insult. He claimed me in the worse way possible, then ensured no one else would want me. I trembled hearing his voice in my ear telling me horrible things.

The worst part was I believed him.

"Slut." I know…

"So easy. Bet you slept your way to the top." …close enough.

"Your looks are the only thing you have going for you." I know I'm a bad person! Stop it!

Next I knew Matt had me in his arms. "You are a wonderful person, you're beautiful, you're not easy. I love all your little quirks, you are an amazing person. You're smart, funny and I don't know why I got you."

His voice drowned out Damon's, as I clung to him sobbing.

"How can you want me? I'm disgusting! Look like a fucking monster!"

Matt snorted. "No such thing. Maybe Phantom of the Opera, but he makes most girls swoon."

"…." I couldn't help it, the ridiculous statement made me laugh.

"Much better. Love your smile."

Tucking my face in the crook of his neck, I thought for a moment before speaking softly, "take me back."

He gave me the "confused puppy" look before comprehension bloomed on his face. "Are you sure?"

I nodded, unable to speak. He stood offering me his hand.

I lay back, eyes closed as he gently traced all my scars.

"Look at me Mihael."

I jumped, eyes opening at my name, but no Damon, just Matt. He smiled before kissing me.

I wrapped my arms around him as he kissed it better.

It was slow, comforting. And when it was over he held me as I cried. Now the hard part was done, healing could begin.