Mark sat on the bed next to Elizabeth, watching her sleep fitfully. He gently began to rub her back, hoping to calm her down without waking her up. She suddenly flinched away from him, arching her back from his hand. Mark sighed before apologizing. "Sorry. I wasn't trying to wake you."
Elizabeth took a few deep breaths to regain her composure. "It's fine." She replied quietly. "What time is it?"
"Almost five." Mark replied after a quick glance at the clock. "Rachel went with Doug to pick up pizza for dinner and Ella's downstairs playing with the twins." He informed her quietly. She nodded before turning away from him, burying her face into a pillow. "Elizabeth?" Mark asked softly.
"What Mark?" She replied into the pillow.
He smirked slightly before sighing. "What's wrong?" He pressed.
Elizabeth sat up and looked at him in disbelief. "I don't want to talk about this."
"Elizabeth we have to talk about it." Mark insisted. "My tumor is obviously progressing, we need to start thinking about…"
"No." Elizabeth cut him off, obviously frustrated.
"Elizabeth…" Mark tried again.
Elizabeth got up from the bed. "No." She shook her head. "I'm going to go downstairs and see if Carol needs any help."
"We have to…" Mark tried again.
Elizabeth shook her head. "Not right now. We don't have to do anything right now." She said obviously angry now. "I am not going to talk to you about this right now, so you're going to have to wait."
"Elizabeth!" Mark called after her as she slammed the door behind her. He swore under his breath before following her downstairs.
Elizabeth was pulling plates from one of the kitchen cupboards when he caught up with her. He sighed as he watched her set the table, obviously tense.
"Elizabeth." Mark said gently, as he grabbed onto her arm.
She yanked her arm away angrily. "Let go." She whispered so quietly he barely heard her.
Mark put his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry." He apologized immediately.
Elizabeth sighed. "Mark I'm not mad at you." She finally sighed. "I'm mad at the idea of losing you."
Mark nodded before gently pulling her into his arms. "I'm so sorry." He whispered into her ear.
"I can't do this without you." She whimpered slightly, her face buried in Mark's chest. "I can't have this baby without you."
Mark sighed. "Elizabeth I can't promise you anything." He said tiredly. "This… this is your choice." He said quietly.
Elizabeth pulled away just far enough so she could see his face. "No Mark." She said quietly. "That's not what I meant. I'm keeping the baby."
Mark smiled and kissed her forehead gently. "I love you." He whispered softly.
Elizabeth nodded. "I love you too." She replied, resting both of her hands on her abdomen. "Please Mark… don't die." She whispered quietly.
He pulled her close, one of his hands joining hers on her abdomen. "I'm going to do everything I can to stay with you." He promised quietly. He watched for several minutes as Elizabeth's tears soaked into his shirt. "I wanted to talk to you about something…"
Elizabeth shook her head. "Please…" She tried to protest before he stopped her.
"It's about my treatment." Mark stopped her. "I don't want to upset you by making you talk about this, but I'm not going to make any decisions without you."
Elizabeth froze. "You're not thinking about stopping?" She asked, obviously terrified.
Mark shook his head vigorously. "No, no." He assured her. "Actually I was talking to Doug this afternoon and he showed me this." He said, grabbing a medical file from the counter and handing it to her. Elizabeth took the chart and sat down at the table with it, beginning to scan the contents. Mark gently sat next to her, waiting for her to respond.
"You want to do a trial." Elizabeth said finally, her voice indicating how skeptical she was of the idea.
"It's been incredibly successful." Mark replied. "This is Doug's first patient on the medication, but more than a hundred other patients have used the medication, all of them successfully. The idea behind it is that it works alongside chemotherapy to provide an added anti-growth factor that when taken over-long periods of time has shown to both decelerate tumor growth and lead to necrosis."
"So what's the long term prognosis on this medication?" Elizabeth asked tiredly.
"Years." Mark replied softly.
Elizabeth's eyes snapped up to meet his. "I'm sorry?" She asked, thinking she hadn't heard him correctly.
Mark smiled at her. "The medication has been in testing for almost seven years and everyone in the trial is doing incredibly well. Some of the oldest patients are in full remission."
Elizabeth shook her head. "Mark…"
"I know." He stopped her. "It's risky. I won't do this if you don't want me to."
"No Mark." Elizabeth replied quickly. "I just… I'm trying not to get my hopes up."
He kissed her gently. "So is that a yes?"
Elizabeth nodded with a smile. "Yes." Mark grinned before putting his hands on both sides of her face and kissing her passionately. Elizabeth reciprocated before suddenly pulling away. "But Mark, I'm talking to Doug about this, and I want to see the trial paperwork. You aren't going on some medication we know nothing about just because it's working for other GBM patients."
Mark nodded. "Of course."
Elizabeth sighed deeply before smiling at him. "This is a real chance isn't it?"
Mark nodded again. "Yeah."
"Daddy, Daddy!" Ella exclaimed as Carol carried her into the kitchen, her fist full of coloring pages.
"Hey baby." Mark said with a smile as he stood up to take his daughter. "What have you got there?" He asked her, before she began to show him each of the pieces of paper in her hands.
Carol joined Elizabeth at the table. "Did Mark tell you about the trial?" She asked, putting her hands in the pocket at the front of her hoodie.
Elizabeth nodded. "What do you know about it?"
"It's a good chance for him." Carol assured her. "Northwestern is the only hospital currently involved in the clinical trial so it's nowhere near market release, but it's doing some really amazing things for the patients involved."
"How many of them have you worked with?" Elizabeth asked curiously.
"About half." Carol replied honestly. "There are some pretty nasty side effects."
Elizabeth sighed. "Like?"
"Fairly frequent migraines, nausea, a few of them have been having clonic seizures." Carol replied, watching as Elizabeth digested the information. "But the overall patient quality of life is excellent." She tried to reassure her.
She nodded softly. "Seven years?" She asked finally.
Carol smiled. "Yeah. Albert, he was the first patient and he's doing great. Full remission."
"How can something like this exist, but not be funded?" Elizabeth asked in disbelief.
"This actually happens a lot." Carol replied with a shrug. "Northwestern does a lot of clinical trials which are often successful. But if we don't get enough patients or if the study runs out of funding they never amount to anything."
Elizabeth shook her head. "Sometimes I forget how disjointed the American medical system is." She said with disbelief.
"How? You still work at a hospital don't you?" Carol teased.
"I just can't help but worry that we'll get our hopes up." Elizabeth said, smiling as she watched Mark hang Ella upside-down. "I mean… seven years would put Rachel at twenty-two, Ella at eight, this one at six."
Carol nodded. "I get it. You don't want to think you have time when you don't." She assured her. "But none of us know we have time. Don't not do this because you're scared it won't work."
Elizabeth sighed. "I know."
"Mommy!" Kate called as she slid into the room, her sister sliding in behind her.
"What is it sweetheart?" Carol asked as her three year olds began to compete for space on her lap.
"When are we having dinner?" Kate asked excitedly as Tess climbed onto the table.
"As soon as Daddy's home." Carol assured her before reaching behind her to grab her sister. "Tess what have I said about climbing on the table?"
"Not to." Tess replied sheepishly.
"Can we to the park?" Kate asked suddenly.
Carol laughed. "I thought you were hungry?"
"I meant after we eat." Kate replied as if it should have been obvious.
Elizabeth laughed. "These two have grown up haven't they?" She asked as Tess climbed onto her lap.
Carol nodded. "Sometimes I think they're thirteen, not three."
"Who ordered pizza?" Doug's voice bounded through the door as it swung open.
"I did!" Kate bounced toward him.
"Well I only got onion and anchovy. Is that okay?" He asked her with a smirk.
Kate furrowed her eyebrows, sticking her tongue out. "Mommy told you to get me and Tess cheese." She replied accusingly.
Doug laughed. "I did." He said, as he and Rachel set out the pizzas. "Carol what do you want?" He asked as he put slices of cheese pizza on paper plates for his daughters.
"Pepperoni." Carol replied, helping the girls into their booster seats.
Doug brought the three plates to the table. "Alright-y, I have two cheese and one pepperoni." He said putting the plates in front of each of them respectively. "Elizabeth? Mark?"
"Pepperoni." They replied simultaneously.
"Pepperoni it is!"
Later that evening after all of the kids were in bed Mark, Elizabeth, and Carol were sitting on the edge of the dock out back, their feet dangling into the water.
"We should go swimming." Mark said suddenly, a grin plastered across his face.
Elizabeth shook her head as she elbowed him gently. "Mark it's freezing."
"Maybe you should come in with me." Mark suggested with a smirk.
"No, no, no." Elizabeth said with a laugh. "See if Carol wants to humor you." She said nudging her friend on the other side of her.
Carol shook her head. "Somehow swimming in this lake isn't at the top of my list of desired activities."
"Well it doesn't have to be at the top of your list." Mark replied with a smirk.
"It's not even on the list." Carol revised her statement.
"I brought snacks!" Doug called as he walked down toward them, a picnic basket in his hand.
"If snacks don't include beers you're going back." Carol replied with a smirk, smiling widely when he handed her a bottle. "Thanks." She pecked his cheek.
Doug handed a bottle to Mark and one to Elizabeth before taking one for himself. Mark twisted the cap off his own before looking over at his wife with a smirk. Carol eyed Elizabeth cautiously as she began to sip her bottle.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes before handing the bottle back to Doug. "Since everyone else knows." She said with a smirk.
"You told her?" Mark asked, feigning offense.
"She figured it out." Elizabeth replied.
"Wait, what?" Doug asked, holding the unopened bottle in his hand curiously.
"I'm pregnant." Elizabeth laughed.
Doug's eyes widened. "You're kidding."
"Due January first." Mark replied with a smile.
"Congratulations!" Doug said excitedly, nearly knocking Mark into the lake with his enthusiasm.
"Careful!" Carol admonished him. "We don't need to go knocking him around more than necessary."
Doug froze. "So this trial is gonna mean Mark gets to see that baby." He said suddenly before Carol pushed him, successfully knocking him into the lake. "What… was… that… for?" Doug asked between deep breaths as he surfaced.
"Being an ass." Carol replied.
Elizabeth and Mark laughed. "It's fine Carol." Mark tried to assure her, wrapping his arm around Elizabeth's waist. "We're just as excited as he is." Elizabeth shivered a bit as she watched Doug climb out from the lake. "You alright?" Mark asked her gently.
"Just cold." She replied, pulling her legs from the water and tucking them under her.
"We can go inside." Carol suggested.
Elizabeth shook her head. "No I'm fine." She tried to assure her.
"Well I have to change anyway." Doug said as he stood up. "Let's go." He said, holding his hand out to help Elizabeth up.
The four made their way back into the house. Doug made his way up the stairs to change while everyone else settled in the living room. Mark sat on the couch with Elizabeth lying on his lap. Elizabeth was curled up tightly with a blanket that Carol had handed her. The three sat in a comfortable silence until Doug returned.
"So what's the agenda?" Doug asked, sitting down on the arm of the chair Carol sat in. "Watching terrible reality shows? A movie? Playing a board game?"
"Actually…" Mark cut him off. "Elizabeth has a few questions for you about the trial." He said gently, feeling Elizabeth tense against him.
"Oh sure. Of course." Doug nodded seriously.
Elizabeth sat up slightly resting against Mark's shoulder. "I just…" She tried to figure out how to express her concerns. "How many participants are in this trial?"
"Currently one hundred and twenty-three." Doug replied immediately.
"And it's been successful for all of the patients?" Elizabeth asked skeptically.
Doug nodded. "All patients have similar GBMs, and when the medication is paired with standard chemotherapy treatments it has proven incredibly effective."
"Any allergic reactions?"
"No."
"No tumor regrowth?"
"Not when the medication is taken as directed." Doug replied honestly. "A couple of patients stopped taking the medication after finishing chemo and they experienced slight tumor regrowth which was manageable with additional radiation."
Elizabeth nodded. "And the patients in remission?"
"The longest remission is currently four years, no sign of recurrence with continuous medication use." Doug replied seriously.
Elizabeth sighed. "I don't… I don't know what's stopping me from wanting this." She whispered quietly.
"It's okay Elizabeth." Mark assured her gently, kissing her hair. "If this doesn't feel right we don't have to do it."
Elizabeth shook her head. "I would never forgive myself." She said her voice catching in her throat.
Mark looked down at her curiously. "What?"
"If I stopped you from trying something that could potentially extend your life with us for years I would never forgive myself." Elizabeth said softly. "But if the trial doesn't work… or it shortens it… I would be in the same position." Mark nodded in understanding. The room sat in silence for nearly fifteen minutes before Elizabeth spoke again. "You have to do it Mark. This is the best chance." She said, tears streaming down her face.
Mark nodded, kissing her gently. "Okay?" He asked softly.
"Yes." Elizabeth replied, laughing slightly. "I can't believe I'm crying about this." She said wiping her tears from her eyes.
Carol laughed. "I can't believe I am either." She said, standing up to stretch her legs. "I'm heading to bed." She announced after a few moments.
"I'm right behind you." Doug replied. "Night guys."
"Night." Mark replied watching as they disappeared from the room. "Hey." He said gently as soon as they were alone in the room. "Thank you." He said softly.
"For what?" Elizabeth asked tiredly.
"Everything." Mark said with a sigh. "You have been there for me in ways I shouldn't be able to expect from you." He tried to explain. "You think so much about me and the girls that I spend almost every day wondering when you think about yourself."
Elizabeth shook her head. "Mark…"
"Just let me appreciate you." Mark cut her off, kissing her. He laughed as he felt her lips smile against his. "I do appreciate you Elizabeth." He assured her. "More than anything."
"I love you Mark."
"I love you too."