I took a deep breath, and opened the door of my chambers. Trying to be as silent as i possibly can, I was walking around the long halways and corridors. This is not something I heaven't done before. In fact, i did it more often that i could count, at least a few times every week for the past ten years! You could say that I knew my way around the castle, even at night. But tonight was different. My whole family and half of the Kingsguard were getting ready for the trip that starts tomorrow morning. It is going to be a long month ahead of us, and it is starting tonight. I have no doubt that half of the castle was awake, just as i would be, if I wasn't sneaking around like I was. What I am about to do may be the stupidest thing I have ever done. I'm risking a lot, but I just could not leave without seeing Gendry and talking to him.
So I was ready to sneak, I was ready to run around, I was ready to be caught and I was ready to be punished. If it comes to that. But most of all, I was ready to do anything so that I could see him tonight.
Navigating my way through the hallways was easy. The hard part was leaving the castle itself, but I have head years of practice. As soon as I reached on of the doors that lead to the garden, I pulled my hooded cloak over my head, and I started running. Barefoot, of course. It didn't take me long to reach the gates. I did it. I just need to get to Gendry, and do it once again. The risk wasn't there only when I was leaving the castle. Actually, it's an even bigger risk to return. They might think I was an intruder and shoot me on sight, before asking to see who I was. I don't know why, but I was sure that that will not happen. And I must say, the security of our castle is very poor if a ten year old child can run in and out as she pleases.
I did not slow my pace as I was making way to the house where Gendry lives. The sooner I get back, the better. I can only hope that Gendrys master is asleep. Gendry works as a blacksmiths apprentice. And the blacksmith is horrible to him. I have offered countless times to help him, to do something, I was even ready to threaten the blacksmith, but Gendry never let me. He is quite honorable. And he does not think a Lady should fight his fight. Personally, I think that's stupid. But I do as he says.
I peeked through the window of the room that belonged to Gendry. There was no light in it, but I was not ready to give up just yet.-Pst!-I hissed quietly, but after a few moments, I did not hear a response.-Pst!-I hissed again, this time a little bit louder. I hear movement and my heart stopped for a moment. It started beating again as soon as Gendry's head appeared on the other side of the window.
-What the hell are you doing here?-he whispered, and I rolled my eyes.
-Why, because I never done this before?-I asked and I smiled when I saw that he smiled too.-Come on, get out of there, I need to talk to you.-I said. He started climbing out of the window and I took a step back. As soon as he was out, we made our way to the quiet place on the beach that was very well hidden from the road. We were safe there for the past 10 years, I do not see why that should change. But I am aware just in how much trouble we would be if we are caught. I wonder if Gendry does too.
-Lena, what is going on?-he asked with a small smile as soon as I sat on the sand, next to him.-I know you did this before, but it's been a few weeks since the last time.-he said, and I rolled my eyes.
-I see you didn't notice.-I said, and he laughed.-I just… I wasn't feeling that well. Since Jon Arryn died I am not sure about anything anymore, and the thought of that makes me feel… I don't know how does it make me feel, but I do know I was not good company. And my brother was gone. I just didn't want to leave my chambers to be honest.-I said. That's the good thing about Gendry. I can trust him and tell him anything. I know that he will understand. And the best thing is that he doesn't get mad easily.
-I understand.-he said.-It isn't difficult to be a bit sad when you have the family you have.-he noticed.
-True. You still don't want us to change places?-I asked, and he laughed as he shook his head. He and I often joked that he would rather be a bastard than a Lannister. Seven Hells, I think that I would rather be a bastard than a Lannister! But, not even that will give my freedom. Gendry is my age, his mother died and he never knew who his father was. He has no one in this world, well, other than me. And he still depends on someone. He needs to be on good terms with that savage of a blacksmith he works for if he wants a meal and warm bed to sleep on. And still, he is dead serious when he says that he would rather be a bastard than a Lannister. And I understand.-I do have some news. Tomorrow morning we will be leaving for Winterfell.-I said and I could see the surprise on his face.
-Will you be coming back?-he asked and I laughed.
-Of course I will be coming back, why would you think otherwise?-I asked, surprised by his question.
-Well, it's not like they didn't consider marrying you off.-Gendry said, and my smile disappeared.-See? It's not such a stupid question now, is it?-he asked and I was able to smile slightly.
-Yes. Well, I will be coming back. At least, that is what the King told me. And I do not appreciate you telling me what you did, because the only think I can think of right now is that I'm pretty sure that Lord Stark has a son that is somewhere our age.-I said slightly angry and that made Gendry laugh.
-Well, nice knowing you Lady Elena Lannister.-he laughed, and he laughed even harder when I hit him on the shoulder with my fist.-No, seriously now. I'm glad you will be back. I get that you will have to marry someone someday. And I just hope it isn't as far as Winterfell. Seven Hells, that's far away.-he said.
-I know. But if and when I get married, no matter where I go, you will have to visit me.-I ordered him.
-Yeah, I'm sure your husband will be quite happy about that.-he laughed, and I rolled my eyes.
-Well, if he's not, I'll make him. And if he does not trust me enough to know that you are nothing other than a brother to me, than something's wrong in that marriage.-I said and we both laughed.-I will miss you. The journey there and back will take at least two months. And I suppose we will be staying there for a couple of weeks. I'll write to you as soon as I get there.-I said. Gods, I don't know how I would handle this if he didn't know how to read and write. When I met him, he didn't. But I decided to change that. Ever since I was a child, I was trying to enforce equality. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but at least I taught Gendry to read and write. And thanks to that, I will be able to send him letters.
-And I will write you back as soon as they reach me.-he said. We looked at each other for a moment, and then we hugged. I had my arms around his waist, and his arms were around my shoulders.-I will miss you. Sometimes I wish you weren't a Lannister. Just a normal girl. I wish you were my sister.-he said.
-And you know I wish that too.-I said as I pulled away.-But some things cannot be changed, and my family is one of those things. I should get back, and so should you. Do me a favor Gendry. Please, do not get yourself in trouble. I want you alive and well when I come back.-I said, and he started laughing.
-You're worried about me? Oh, sweet Lena. I'm the one that should be worried. Not about you, but about the North.-he said, and I rolled my eyes.-When you arrive, the will have no idea what hit them. They are expecting some stuck up Lannister girl like your sister. And they will get you. Honestly, I will not be surprised if I get a letter from you saying that you climbed over the wall and decided to join the wildlings! Actually, please don't do that.-he said. Gods, he can be such an idiot. But a loving idiot.
-I will not, you ass!-I said as I hit him in the shoulder once again.-Gods, you can be so annoying.-I said.
-So can you. Personally, I think that is why we get along so well.-he said. Sadly, he might be right.
-I'm leaving now.-I announced, and he laughed.-Be careful, and so will I. And no Gendry, I will not be joining the Wildlings!-I yelled when I saw that he was ready to tease me about that again.-Good night you idiot. I'll see you as soon as I get back. And don't forget to write!-I yelled while I was already running away from him. So much for being quiet, I just yelled from the top of my longs. I have more luck than I have brains, I'm sure of that. And it was confirmed when I reached my chambers without being seen by one single guard. The castle seriously needs to be protected better. I suppose that I should tell Robert about that. But I will not. Yes, I am more than ready to risk mine and my family's lives just so that I can see my friend whenever I want to. So much for me not being selfish. Maybe I am a true Lannister.
As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I turned to the mirror, to see my reflection. Dark, brown eyes and hair that was an even darker shade of brown. I did not look like a Lannister. Not one slightest bit, and I was never more thankful that I took on my mother's side than I was now.
As I predicted even before we left, this trip was pure torture. I was stuck in the carriage with Cersei, Myrcella and Tommen. Of course, the children were not the problem. I loved them with all my heart. My sister, on the other hand, was as difficult as she ever was. I try not to dwell on it too much. I am sure that I annoy her just as much as she annoys me, if not even more.
-You must remember my dear.-she said to Myrcella, as she was braiding her hair.-Lord Stark and his family are the Kings dear friends. But that does not change the fact that they are below us. I have no doubt in my mind that they are savages that we should not spend too much time with.-she added. I was no longer able to contain myself. I let out a sigh as I rolled my eyes.-Something to add, dear sister?-she asked me. I swear to the Gods, if I wasn't used to it by now, her stare would freeze the life out of me.
-Not much, no. I was just amazed by the way you teach your child to judge people before she even lays eyes on them.-I said coldly. I honestly wonder sometimes who her behavior still manages to surprise me.
-Teaching normal people that may be a bad thing, but we are Lannisters.-she said. I smiled at her.
-Last time I checked, your children were Baratheon. And that is no way to teach a child, no matter if they are princesses or peasant's daughters. If you excuse me.-I said and left the carriage before she could say anything else to me. I did not waste my time as I made my way to the Kings tent. I waited for him to allow me to enter before I did so.
-Oh dear gods, what do you want now girl?-he asked, but I could see he was smiling.
-If it is not a trouble Your Grace, I would ask you to ride on a horse for the rest of our journey to Winterfell.-I said.
-Yes, you may.-he said and I didn't hide my wide smile.-I suppose I should be surprised that you managed to handle your sisters company for this long.-he said and I laughed.
-Well Your Grace, you know that better than anyone.-I said. At least I made him laugh. And for the next couple of days, I do not need to handle Cersei anymore. Yes, Joffrey is also riding, but I'm sure that he will be easy enough to loose. And I always have my brothers to keep me company.
The Kingsguard was already used to me being like this, so there were no looks of surprise when they saw me in, well, men's clothing. It was unacceptable for a Lannister to wear pants. For any other girl, it could be fine. But not for me. And that is why I enjoyed it so much. I love not fitting in. I love being different. And it is all worth wile when I see surprise on people's faces when they see that not all Lannisters are pretentious pricks. I suppose I shall be seeing a lot of surprised faces when we reach Winterfell.
Today, we are finally arriving. I could see the castle in the distance a feel of excitement rising in me. As much as I am excited to see new places, I am that much scared of meeting new people.
I was riding with Jaime. And it turned out to be a mistake. I confessed my troubles to him. Unlike Tyrion, he wasn't ready to fight my fight with me. No, he just disagreed with me in a few seconds.
-Lena, I understand why you are not happy about that.-he said, and I rolled my eyes.-But if you are to be married, I believe Dorne is a good place, and House of Martell is a good House.-he said. Yet again.
-You do not understand Jaime.-I said, not just ready to give it up.-From what I heard, the man is a beast.-I said and it made Jaime laugh. Oh, what does he know, he hasn't touched a woman since he became a knight. As far as I know of, he might have never touched a woman at all. About this, he know nothing.
-Even if that is true, that may not be a bad thing. Look, Elena, you are not like other woman. You know that, I know that, and I'm sure that half of Westeros knows it by the way rumors spread. You are very difficult to control. You do what you like, and you do not think that you need to explain yourself to anyone. You like to fight, to ride, to be free and to keep your pride. And for a woman like you, there is no better place than Dorne. There, you can stand proudly by your husband's side.-he said.
-Right next to his paramour, yes?-I asked and he could not contain his laughter.-Jaime do you think of me as an idiot? Do you think am a smart, or a stupid girl?-I asked him.
-Elena, to this day, you are one of the smartest people I have ever met.-he said with a small smile.
-Thank you. I like to think that I am not that stupid. But, when it comes to love and marriage, I am as stupid as it gets. I still live in some sort of… illusion, were I get to marry the one I love. And I would wish for it to be like that. I do not like talking about a wedding when there is no wedding.-I said quietly.
-I understand. You should get ready for our arrival. You do not look like a proper lady.-he said to me. He was right. I did not look like the Queens sister, not at all. And that is the way I am going to keep it. As soon as I decided that, I let out my hair. If was curly from the braid. I'm sure I look better now.
-There. I am ready.-I said and Jaime laughed. After a while, I laughed with him. I do not care if it is not appropriate. I am being myself. And at least I am polite. No one wants to see the other side of me.
I entered Winterfell next to my brother, before the King and the carriage. I could see the Stark family lined up before us for a brief moment, before they bowed to the King. For a moment, I coughed the eye of a man who must be Eddard Stark. I would have nodded, or done anything to acknowledge his look, but it was rude to do so before the King says his hellos. So I got off my horse quietly and waited to be introduced. I did not listen to their interactions. I was just looking around, taking in Winterfell.
It is much different than what I'm used to. I grew up near the sand, the sea, the sun. And WInterfell was the complete opposite. When I imagined Winterfell in my mind, it looked a lot like Casterly Rock. And still, I was very wrong. Dark stone, cold air, so cold that you could see your breath and a lot of forests and woods. It is in no way bad. It is just very different from my usual environment.
-Elena Lannister, the Queens sister.-I heard the King say, and I suddenly snapped out of my thoughts. I came close to them, and Lord Stark bowed his head to me, as did the rest of his family. Even if I was someone with a greater title then theirs, I did not give a damn. The man is older than me, and much wiser than I am. And to me, that deserves my respect. So I bowed as soon as he looked at me.
-It is an honor to see you My Lady. Welcome to Winterfell.-he said with a smile which I returned.
-The honor is all mine. Lady Stark.-I said, and his wife and I bowed in the same time. I could see that they were surprised with my actions, but again, I did not give a damn. I smiled and nodded to each of the Stark children. There were two little boys, about ten and six if I dare guess, the older Stark boy, who was around my age and two girls. One, the exact replica of her mother, about 14 and the younger one, who looked just the way I felt when I was near my sister, like she would give everything she has to be anywhere but here.
I didn't stay at one place for long. I took a few steps back and joined my brother. I wasn't really listening to what they were speaking, but when I looked up, the King and Lord Stark were heading somewhere, and Cersei did not looked pleased, at all. It didn't take me long to realize what was this about. Robert is in the home of is great love, Lyanna. And even if she is not amongst the living any more, he wanted to see her. To pay his respects. No wonder Cersei looked like she was beyond angry.
-Find our brother.-she told Jaime and I could guess why she didn't tell me that. Tyrion left early last night. I'm sure he is at a whore house, somewhere around Winterfell. In my opinion, he is a grown man that can make his own decisions. But right now, I envy him. At least he wasn't in Cerseis company.
Before I got a chance to say something to Jaime, possibly making him laugh and roll his eyes, we were being taken to our rooms by the servants. Well, if we're staying here for a while, I suppose there will be plenty of time to make fun of my family, pretending like I'm not one of them by blood. Because by looks and character, it is obvious we do not belong together.